Fate is a wicked thing
by Doctor Susan Holmes
Summary: Follows the events of Thor 2, but in this world the Infinity Stones are all connected with each other and two of the six each form a special bond, & this connection affects their vessels as well - so what will happen if Tesseract meets Aether aka Loki encounters Jane? And is it mere coincidence that the two of them happened to each come across an Infinity Stone?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters! (Just in case someone thought that I did ^^)

* * *

Jane Foster was a naturally curious person.

Especially when it involved anything concerning astrophysics and any kind of anomalies. Such as this. After two years of nothing. Of Thor disappearing and never returning. Of fruitless endeavours and scientific studies that led nowhere. Finally her instruments had started up again!

She didn't know what they had recorded exactly. She didn't know whether it would help with her research at all and if it would lead her to Thor. It could be dangerous. Or it could be nothing at all and her stupid instruments maybe weren't working after all and it was all just a glitch. But she knew that she needed to have a look.

And she also knew that there was no such thing as a _glitch_ when it came to her own inventions.

So, no matter the improbable disappointment. No matter the more-than-likely danger. Jane had always been bold to the degree of stupidity and recklessness. And she needed to know!

So she dashed away from her date (which – let's be honest – wouldn't have worked out), after Darcy, ending up at the abandoned Greenwich industrial estate. And despite her better judgement and her gut telling her not to wander off alone, she did. And that's where the mess started.

Not knowing how she got there or where she was exactly, she suddenly found herself in front of this massive black block of stone. Which was cracked open halfway through, with the upper half levitating above it. Her science-heart gave a leap at that. How was that possible? What about mass? What about gravitation?

Thor's arrival had definitely marked a colossal change in her research and her perception of the world and the universe around her.

She had accepted the existence of gods, of several worlds co-existing, of the Einstein-Rosen-Bridge actually being a thing. But she still was amazed and couldn't believe her eyes when seeing something as simple as a ten-ton brick defying gravity.

It was like... no she would not call it magic. _Magic_ was a childish notion. She was an adult and she believed that there was an explanation to everything. Including this phenomenon.

And she would find out what it was.

So she stepped closer and examined this weird structure.

Actually – come to think of it – she realized that the gut feeling that had told her to turn and run the opposite way, had been replaced by a new, _other_ feeling, a whisper tugging her towards the stone. She felt like a magnet being attracted to it. She couldn't defy the pull.

Then she saw the red light... or something red ... emanating from within the gap. She rose up on her tiptoes and examined it closer. It turned out to be a strange, scarlet liquidy-gas by the looks of it.

She rose up further to get a better look. And slipped.

To keep from falling she stumbled against the stone, saw the red thing coming for her and then everything went black.

Seemingly, on the other end of the universe, grey-blue eyes that had been more-or-less focused on the pages of a huge tome, snapped up and to full attention, staring off into the distance. A smile spread on the man's face.

To anyone standing around, it might have looked wicked, but internally he was cursing the universe's dry sense of humour.

"So... it seems the second infinity stone has claimed its vessel... And whom? Of course, none other than the insignificant Midgardian woman his oaf of a brother had met and seemingly fallen in love with while he'd been on earth... how interesting..." Loki thought as he leaned back and immersed himself into the pages of his book once again...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters! (Just in case someone thought that I did ^^)

* * *

Jane slowly came to again, to bright light scorching her eyes. After blinking several times and adjusting her eyes to it, she found herself staring up at the battered glass ceiling of the old warehouse above her. What had just happened? Why was she lying on the floor? And why did she feel so funny...?

Her head was spinning, and her ears were buzzing. She felt a headache coming on and was slightly nauseous. Slowly she got up with a groan. Her muscles felt sore and every one of her nerves was tingling. For several seconds she just stood there, letting her eyes focus and her head clear, before she made her way outside to go looking for Darcy and the new guy.

Oh crap... this was not happening...

Police cars were littered over the huge parking lot and she saw Darcy talking to one of the police officers, her _intern's-intern_ being searched while awkwardly leaning against their car.

Who the hell had called the police? The feds or rather S.H.I.E.L.D would be all over the place soon and she would not get to experiment and test the weird portal-wormhole-thingy and the anti-gravity-field they had found...

No... S.H.I.E.L.D would keep that to themselves once they got wind of it – like they've kept and taken so many things from her before... starting with New Mexico and the latest thing being the whole Tesseract business and Thor having been in New York... No one had deemed it fit to tell her what was going on at the time until days after the Chitauri invasion, she'd been slapped in the face with the news by every radio and TV channel on the planet...

So she didn't exactly boarder warm feelings towards them... and any governmental institutions for that matter, including the police...

"Jane!", Darcy cried out, as she finally spotted her and came running towards her.

Where Darcy looked all panicky, Jane just cast her an exasperated and angry glare: "Darcy, what the hell? Who called the police and why?"

"Jane, we had to! You were gone! You just suddenly disappeared and we couldn't find you! What were we supposed to do?" Darcy explained distraughtly.

Jane rounded on her: "How about not call the police? You call the cops, they call the feds and next thing we know S.H.I.E.L.D is crawling all over the place!"

"Jane...", Darcy tried to interrupt her, but she went on: "We had unimpeded access to a stable gravitational field! And no competition! We could have..."

"Jane!", Darcy insisted fiercer than before, "You were gone! I was worried!"

"Oh come on, I couldn't have been gone that long... ten minutes at most!", Jane scoffed. But she couldn't shake the weird sensation that something wasn't right and it definitely had to do with her suddenly lying on the floor of the warehouse with no recollection as to how she got there or what had happened to her before...

Darcy frowned at her, if possible even more horrified now: "Jane, you were gone for five hours!"

"What? How? No... that can't... I ..."

But Jane's tirade of denial slowly ebbed away as she and Darcy simultaneously noticed the change in atmosphere. While arguing with Darcy a storm had started, bringing with it tons of classic, British rain... But neither Darcy nor Jane were getting wet! A perfect circular barrier surrounded them that kept away the rain.

Jane looked around. And there he was. Thor – in all is godly glory.

Why had she not sensed his arrival sooner? Why had she not noticed the Bifrost at work like in New Mexico? Maybe it was just her mind playing tricks on her... Maybe he wasn't really here... But then what about the fending-off-rain-barrier? What about Darcy's equally shocked reaction?

There was only one way to find out... Jane absent-mindedly pushed the anomaly-detector into Darcy's hands and walked towards the container next to which Thor had arrived.

What did you say after two years of radio silence? What did you do when the last time you had seen each other you had just frantically kissed for the first time, with the promise of soon return and the prospect of a relationship? But now two years had passed while he could have done god-knows-what and she had tried but utterly failed to move on and do god-knows-what...

Well, her mind supplied her with a perfectly sound course of action.

"Jane...", he exhaled, smiling at her, as if he himself couldn't believe he was here. The light dancing in his puppy eyes.

She slapped him.

It really hurt... Physically … and emotionally, too, because he looked at her uncomprehendingly and slightly wounded. But, she realized, not as shocked and hurt as she'd have thought... or liked. He might have actually reckoned with her reacting that way...

"I'm sorry..." she stumbled, "I just... really needed to make sure you were real... It's been a very strange day..."

He still looked dumbfounded and just wanted to start up explaining – probably to give her the explanation she wanted to hear as to where he had been, why he hadn't returned, why he had come back only now, but her head decided differently.

Another slap followed. And now she was properly agitated: "Where were you?"

His countenance changed to one of exasperation and he countered: "Where were _you_? Heimdall could not see you..."

"I was right here where you left me!", she told him accusingly, trying hard not to let the countless tears she had shed and the heartbreak she had felt over him during the past two years, show in her voice. But she had never been good at hiding her emotions, "I was waiting... and then I was crying and then I went out looking for you... You said you were coming back!"

Thor sighed and looked at her imploringly: "I know... but the Bifrost was destroyed. The nine realms erupted into chaos, wars were raging, marauders were pillaging... I had to put an end to the slaughter!"

She had avidly followed his little speech and it had momentarily struck her speechless. Now she felt embarrassed for ever having thought he'd just abandoned her. For worrying and crying and behaving in such a pathetic way... So she conceded: "Well... as far as excuses go... that's not terrible..."

But there was still New York to be considered. He'd been there, so the Bifrost had to have been repared by then … so she ventured on: "Still – I saw you on TV! You were in New York!"

"Jane", he began to defend himself, "I thought to protect you from the dangers of my world... But I was wrong... I was a fool..."

He stepped closer and brought his broad hand up to cup her face: "I believe that _fate_ brought us together... – he sounded so earnest, almost awed – "Jane, I don't no where you were or what happened, but I do know this..."

Jane stared up at him, lulled in by his deep, melodic voice. There was nothing else that mattered in that moment. Only him and her and them standing so close and his hand in her hair. Yes, she wanted him to tell her everything that had happened in detail, to explain himself properly to her, because what he'd given her so far was not satisfying enough – not even close.

But two years of missing him, of searching and waiting for him to return to her, had made her heart and resolution weak and she just craved the intoxicating feeling of being near him. And she just wanted to kiss him, to expel the last remaining shreds of doubt that he was not really here.

And he seemed to feel the same way...

"I know...", his voice grew husky and he leaned closer.

"Yes...", Jane breathed. She abandoned all rational thought and leaned towards him to.

And Darcy had to choose that exact moment to barge in on them...

Jane sighed in frustration as Thor let his hand fall down and put some distance between them: "You know we were kinda in the middle of something here..."

"Yeah, but I think we are being arrested...", Darcy told her in her very Darcy-ish way.

Jane groaned and turned to Thor: "Just... hold that thought. I'll be right back."

She walked over towards the police officer Darcy had been talking to before, who was also on his way towards them: "Jane Foster?"

"Yes..."

"Miss Foster, this is private property and you've been trespassing! I need you to, please come with me now so that we can take your details as you are facing legal consequences."

He made to grab her upper arm. And the next thing happened in a blur. She only knew that she had internally cursed and gotten ready to shake of his grip as she was not under any circumstances letting herself be arrested while Thor had just come back to her. And before she knew it, a huge blast of energy rushed through her veins. The officer who had just barely brushed her arm was thrown back and she only saw red, and then all to familiar black...

 _Oh dear... you should be more careful with that..._

Her nerves tingled again just as when she had woken up inside that warehouse. Her ears were ringing and her head felt dizzy once again. Vaguely she noticed cold, hard porous asphalt poking into her back. Had she fallen down again? And who had just spoken? The voice had sounded oddly familiar, but it hadn't been Thor...

"Jane! Jane! Are you all right?", his booming voice reached her ears seconds before his hand stroked her arm and then helped her get up – rather roughly.

He still had to learn to remember that she was – much to her regret – a fragile human that he couldn't just grab and toss around like his companions Volstagg... or even Sif, who could handle it. Sif probably wouldn't show a bruise for it later...

The thought set Jane's teeth on edge. It had after all been one of her fears... after seeing Sif for the first time, noticing how utterly beautiful she was and how she looked at Thor when he wasn't paying attention or how she had regarded Jane with that too tight smile... Of course Jane had thought the two had something going on or there could be something developing between them after they disappeared and Thor didn't return...

But she had always discarded these thoughts, because why then would Thor have kissed her? Why promise her to come back if he'd known what Sif felt and if he'd reciprocated the feeling? So she had held out... Until a month ago when she had finally decided to get on with her life, stop wallowing and start dating again... more to Darcy's benefit than her own, but still it had been a tremendous achievement that she had finally tried to move on...

And now Thor had returned. And it was as if the last two years hadn't happened... but still they had... and she wasn't sure where these odd and overwhelming emotions were coming from. Much less why she felt so weak and had fainted twice already for no apparent reason...

Her head finally cleared again and her eyes focused.

Her heart momentarily stopped beating. Shattered glass was lying everywhere, she heard people talking fast and rapidly, and the static voices coming through the police walkie-talkies in answer. Another police officer was slowly stepping towards them, club raced in one arm, the other arm pointing towards her as if preparing to fend her of. Jane looked down at her hands. Had she caused this?

"What has just happened?", she asked, more herself than anyone else, her voice as weak as she felt.

"Hands on your head, step back!", the police officer ordered, while two of his colleagues raised their guns at her.

Thor tried to defuse the situation: "The woman is unwell!"

"She's dangerous!", replied the man, voice shaking.

"So am I..."

Jane felt the shift in atmosphere again. This time she noticed the Bifrost at work. Thor pulled her close and told her to hold on to him. And even though she knew what was going on, she couldn't stop herself from asking "What are you doing?"

He didn't answer. Instead she felt herself being abruptly sucked up and transported away from earth. Her whole being felt compressed and too tight and it was making her a tiny bit nauseous. But an even bigger pat of her felt the exhilarating rush of adrenaline and excitement. She dared to open her eyes that she had shut tight and couldn't help but gasp and let out a girlish giggle of excitement.

She was travelling through the Bifrost! She was inside an actual Einstein-Rosen-Bridge! And all around her laid the huge vastness of open space. Billions of stars and planets, the nine realms, black holes and nebulas, they were rushing past everything! Her wildest and ultimate dream come true!

But all too soon it was over and Jane felt her feet hit solid ground. Still the sheer excitement of what she had just experienced lingered, the adrenaline still fresh in her veins: "We definitely have to do that again!" - she told Thor and felt like she had when she was seven, after riding a roller coaster with her dad for the first time.

Then she spun around to take in her surroundings and met the golden gaze of the man that had to be Heimdall – the gate keeper. Not knowing how to address him and still a bit shaken from both what happened down on earth and their space-travel, all she could manage was a simple "Hi".

He didn't seem to mind at all and greeted her with what she found to be a warm, welcoming smile: "Welcome to Asgard!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters! (Just in case someone thought that I did ^^)

* * *

Down in his cell, Loki had been lying on his cot for the majority of the 365th uneventful day of his imprisonment... Oh wow, he had been in here for a year...

So... Exactly one year had passed since he had tried to conquer earth. Since he had let the Chitauri forces come to earth and destroy the city they called New York... and countless lives alongside it... A year since the Tesseract and the sceptre had been taken from him... and with them the hold they had had on him. A year since he'd been able to breath properly again and didn't feel like a stranger in his own body anymore... A year in which he had tried... but failed to forget the horrors following his... _fall_...

Fall? Letting go? Or being tossed? He still struggled to recollect his memories... To distinguish between the real memories and the false... The ones that the time spent in the presence of the Chitauri and _him_ and under the influence of the Tesseract had made him believe to be true...

Only his encounter with Thor – back then on that hillside – had broken something _open_ and had shortly let him regain a sense of self... It had been snatched from him again soon afterwards but that tiny second of freedom had been enough to, in the end, help him break the Tesseracts and _his_ hold on him... and the heavy beating the Hulk had inflicted on him had certainly done the trick, too. The memory was painful and he would for the rest of his life try to avoid the green beast, but he had to be thankful, nonetheless...

Even though, it had still been too late when he had finally come through and regained his own free will again...

And that knowledge would haunt him forever...

Odin with all his might and wisdom hadn't even so much as considered the Tesseract to have this kind of effect on anyone. For him it was just a weapon. A thing of immense power. A relic from the times before this universe came into being. One of the six infinity stones, which he and Asgard had a responsibility of keeping away from beings like ... _Thanos_... oh curse his name!

And to realize that Loki had nearly played right into his hands... the shame of it...

Odin only saw _that_ , the irresponsibility, the madness, the son that had turned evil in order to spite his father and brother and with it Asgard and the whole universe...

Odin didn't want to see any other side to the story and as Loki still struggled to regain his footing himself he wasn't about to open up to him. The odds would be that Odin wouldn't even believe him, would see it as a clever ploy to regain his freedom to then wreck havoc all over again...

No. No matter what Loki told him, he wouldn't understand. Not truly. And he would never again trust him nor let him out of here. And if he did then Loki would be treated just like a dog – muzzled and kept on a tight leash...

But, alas, he had only himself to blame... for being the trickster, for having build up his reputation as "silver-tongue" - so that no one could nor would ever trust him completely...

Except Frigga...

But not even his mother and only light in the tediousness of his imprisonment, knew the full extents of what had happened to him. Maybe she guessed... She had always been so perceptive... but she didn't know for sure. And Loki would make sure she never did.

He would not burden her with the knowledge and cause her grief when she had been nothing but kind and understanding towards him all of his life and despite every one of his recent transgressions...

So he would keep on playing the villain they all wanted to see so badly...

After having stared at the dull, white ceiling for hours, lost in his thoughts and musings, he finally decided to conjure up a book and read and start another day of burying his dark memories and doing his best to quell the lingering feeling of the Tesseracts presence...

To no avail.

Yes, he was free of its mind-control.

Well, he had to be! How else could he have regained his memories? Be able to deal with all of these emotions? The guilt and self-loathing and anger that were incessantly gnawing at him...

But he would be a fool to deny that he didn't still _feel_ it. And it certainly didn't help that it was kept here in the weapons vault of Asgard... Where he could sense it... every day... Calling... Whispering...

It might not control him any longer but somehow it had still not completely left him and that was driving him mad!

More so, because it was especially restless today...

Loki groaned and got up, needing to walk around and calm his –or rather _its_ – nerves.

When he had taken several deep breaths he felt the whisper cease and his restlessness abide. So he slipped down onto the floor with a sigh and took up the book again.

He had just successfully made it through ten pages, when the whisper returned stronger then ever, breaking his focus. And then he felt it. A click. A door opening. A rush of power that burned his skin. And he saw _it_.

The Aether. The Second Infinity Stone. The other half of the Tesseract. Being set free.

And he saw the woman being consumed by it. He actually feared she might die through the sheer enormity of the power that was now flowing through her veins. But the Aether – much like the Tesseract – did not choose its vessels lightly. This woman had to be extraordinary. And if what the Tesseract once whispered to him was true, she would come for him...

That's when he got a closer look on her face. He knew that face...

It was her. The Midgardian woman. The one his brother had been so stricken with...

He couldn't help the devilish grin that spread over his face. It was just too ironic... and hilarious... and cruel...

"So... the second infinity stone has claimed its vessel... And whom? None other than the insignificant Midgardian woman my oaf of a brother had met and, seemingly, fallen in love with while he'd been on earth... how interesting," Loki mused as he leaned back and immersed himself into the pages of his book once again...

But that was just for show. An illusion. Inside of him, a war was raging and the Tesseract's bitter-sweet chuckle rang through his head...

" _The Tesseract has shown me so much! It's more than knowledge... it's truth!", Erik Selvig told him in a reverent manner, his crystal-blue eyes shining even more vividly._

 _Loki chuckled: "I know... it eh... it touches everyone differently..." – he turned to Barton – "So what did it show you Agent Barton?"_

" _My next target...", was all he supplied and Loki thought it was all he would get, but then Barton turned to him, "And what about you?"_

 _Loki could only stare at him, he had not figured with Barton directing a question at him. Because actually it was always supposed to be him asking the questions, demanding answers and giving commands. His subjects, especially if turned by the sceptre, were expected to simply answer and follow, not question..._

 _He quickly recovered from his initial shock and cast Barton a sly smile: "That is for me to know and for you to . . . "_

 _With this he turned around and walked away into the tunnel and his own quarters. It wasn't really the sudden question that had shaken him. It was the memory... and the Tesseract responding to the question in his mind. Showing him again, what it had shown him all these months ago..._

" _You are lonely. You are cast out. You are all alone in this vast universe._

 _No... you don't seek a throne. You don't seek the people's fear and reverence of you..._

 _You seek only one thing. Someone. To understand you, to accept you, to give you an actual purpose, an actual place in this world!_

 _Someone to complete you. To take away the loneliness and pain..._

 _You and I we are not so different... I am also searching for my other half._

 _And I know it will be found. The Aether. And when it is. Your other half will find you!"_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters (just in case you thought that ^^)

P.S. I am not as pleased with this chapter as I'd like, but well now that I wrote it I might as well publish it and not keep you waiting for too long (though I fear you will be in for a longer abstinence because uni is starting again soon for me... I'll try to do my best to keep you literally posted^^)

P.P.S. for those expecting Lokane already, I am sorry to have to disappoint you - it's taking some time...

Regardless of all that: I hope you enjoy it! At least it's got some major Frigga/Loki feels - I love their relationship so much in the movies 3

* * *

"Good evening, Loki."

Loki's head snapped up and out of his reverie to meet his mother standing before him, smiling down on him. He had been staring off into the distance again for some time now, his book, long forgotten, lying on the floor next to him, along with several other tomes.

"Mother...", he breathed and then gracefully got up from the floor to stand in front of her. He only barely managed to make himself stop and not go and hug her like he'd always done as a kid.

He couldn't show that he cared... Couldn't show weakness... He had to be the villain, remember?

Besides, she was a mere illusion. Not really here... He couldn't have hugged her even if he'd wanted to.

"What brings you here? This late an hour notwithstanding..."

"Shall I take it that you are not pleased to see me, then?", she raised an eyebrow at him.

He didn't answer but instead walked around her so as not have to look at her and gazed through the transparent barrier of his cell: "You know as well as I that Odin has specifically ordered you not to visit me and me to never see you again... I am amazed he hasn't found out about your little trick yet... A whole year – what a feat!"

"Well, your not the only one adapt at _magic_... and with some _tricks_ up their sleeve... I have you remember that it was I who taught you!" he could see her smile, in the way she talked, and he couldn't stop a small smile of his own spreading on his lips, too.

"But is that concern I hear? You haven't cared about your father's order any of the 300 other times I have visited... Well, I guess that will be all the proof I am likely going to get from you today... that you have not turned completely heartless yet..."

Loki stiffened. The smile fading.

"Well? Am I wrong? – If I am and if you truly don't want to see me again, just say so!" Frigga confronted him.

He closed his eyes to keep the tears from falling. Why did she have to be so perceptive? She knew that she was the only reason he was still sane and able to bear this punishment and that he didn't want her to leave. And he hated it. That she wouldn't be fooled by his pretend-nonchalance and indifference.

Frigga sighed and her reprimanding tone turned soft and imploring: "I fear loneliness and isolation would suit you ill, my son ... I have told Odin as much... I also tried to make him see that he has been a bit too harsh in his punishment and I believe he knows that as well... but he is just too proud to admit it...

He needs time... and he can't admit it right now anyway, because there is the court to content with, who has to be appeased... they are afraid still... And you know the political dealings involved here all too well – the duties and burdens a king must carry... You were master Alvis' star pupil after all, as I recall..."

Mention of his father, of his past – the one where he'd been all to eager to please Odin, to study excessively, and where he'd still held hope to one day become king of Asgard – it still made him angry, because it reminded him of the betrayal and the lies and what they had cost him... And that hate and anger in turn fuelled the connection to the Tesseract and its whispers... He couldn't allow it to fester again...

So Loki had to try hard to stay calm and reign in his temper: "Spare me the excuses... _Father_ " – he scoffed – "does not care about me! He has written me off. Left me here to rot... Even if the court wasn't breathing down his neck he would not want me back...

How could he? The disgraced son, the frost giant, the trickster, ... I am no longer a son to him! Nor can he use me as a pawn on his chess board – I have outlived my usefulness to him... Let's face it: I am only still alive because of you! And execution would have been his preferred option... He told me as much!"

"Is that truly what you believe?", Loki turned around to see his mother casting him a sad and desperate look, "Your father still loves you, Loki! Yes, you have caused some terrible things to happen and, yes, you will have to repent for them, but don't doubt for a second that he – that we – would ever discard you! We never have and we never will!

When you fell we truly grieved... If you'd just seen your father then... or Thor...

He does not want you dead! And it is not only my love and mercy but his as well that has spared your life. We are glad that you are alive, Loki!

And I do hope that this imprisonment, however long it takes, will make you realize that and help you see the errors of your way so that you can make right the injustice you have brought about...

And when you have, then I believe... no, I know, that you will be allowed to leave this cell again."

Loki stared at her for several seconds and then schooled his features and let out a mirthless laugh: "I doubt it. The court and the people of Asgard would never allow it. I would never have a place here again. Nor a purpose... You would have been better served by just having me had killed... I would certainly have preferred it to _this_..." - he cast a disgusted look around.

Frigga's face fell and he could detect the shimmer of tears in her eyes. He didn't want to see her hurt expression and made to turn away.

"I don't think so... You know why? The reason I actually came here for...? I have been weaving again..."

Loki stopped mid-motion and looked at her again: "Well, pray tell! Whose going to get the new rug once it's finished? Did you think to give my new, humble abode some refurbishment?"

"I saw you...", she expertly ignored his mockery, "You were walking free. And you looked... and felt different... I don't think I can properly describe it to you, but in all my previous weaving you have been … incomplete... let's say... there seemed to have always been a thread missing... And now that thread has finally joined yours... A thread that has formerly been near to Thor's... Strange isn't it?"

Loki could only stare at her.

So it was true then – what the Tesseract had promised him and shown him...

Yes, he had still tried to deny it, tried to laugh it off – but if his mother had woven it then it was sealed... He wasn't sure what to think or how to feel about that. The whole thing still sounded utterly ludicrous.

But Frigga wasn't finished: "And I foresaw powers at work, the likes of which I have never encountered before... except that day you returned to us with the Tesseract...

Loki, I believe you will still have a part to play... a _purpose_ if you so choose... Events... they will soon unfold...

But that aside, I do want you to know and finally realize that you will always have a place here, Loki! Purpose or not!"

Loki was spared to answer and given the opportunity to turn away from her to hide the conflicting emotions her words were causing him, when a commotion from the other end of the dungeon caught his attention. Soon several new prisoners, guards in tow, where walking past his cell, ho convenient to help maintain his façade: "Oh look at that! Odin continues to bring me new friends... How thoughtful..." – he drawled – "I guess, you're right, he does still seem to care about me..."

Frigga sighed but chose not to comment on it.

He heard her move and felt safe to turn around again, having regained his composure. He noticed her gaze wander to the stack of books that were piled up and lay discarded on the ground and on the small table next to his cot.

"The books I sent – did they not interest you?", she changed the topic instead.

Loki scowled: "Is that how I am to while away eternity? Reading?"

"Not eternity", she reminded him, "We talked about that... But while you're here I thought you might as well use your time wisely! I don't recall one day were I didn't find you in the palace library..." – she smiled at him warmly and it made his heart clench in his chest – "And some of your journals and studies are also still not finished!"

"Actually..." she mused, "Why don't you translate them all so that Midgardians can read them? They would profit so much from your research and it would be the least you could do to make up for what you've done..."

Another sensitive topic. His love for magic, his desire for knowledge and how the universe worked. He had made amazing discoveries that had benefited Asgard greatly. But he was also protective of his work... he didn't want to share it! Especially not with _a meagre race like humanity..._

"I don't believe it would help them much! They are already progressing well enough on their own... from what I've _witnessed_... Also, you don't want them to scamper around space too..." Loki argued and wanted to make his mother see the ridiculousness of the whole suggestion, "You know? They have this weird habit of discovering something and then labelling it theirs... I doubt Odin would take to that all too kindly... Just imagine it! A Midgardian on Asgard! He would go out of his mind..."

"Well, then at least read the books and not just ignore them...", Frigga scolded him.

"I believe that I have read all of the books Asgard has to offer... Now, if I were to get to read the tomes of Alfheim... that would truly pique my interest!", he said with a dreamy expression on his face, driving the nail in deeper.

"You know as well as I that these are exclusive to the libraries on Alfheim... and you can't go there...", she scowled at him, "I am sorry Loki.. Why won't you just accept these small but generous offers and be thankful that I still go to such lengths for you and try my best to make this easier? I really have done everything in my power to make you comfortable..."

"Have you?", he remarked sarcastically, knowing full well that indeed she had given him more than he deserved that she had and was right now defying one of Odin's direct orders... all for him and after everything he'd done.

She shouldn't have to of course. _She shouldn't have to go behind the back of the king_. He shouldn't have been sent to the dungeons for all eternity if he'd just gotten the chance to explain what had actually happened to them... If Odin had just deemed him worth listening to and if he hadn't found it too degrading to open up to them...

And even that aside, Frigga shouldn't have been banned from visiting him and she shouldn't have been the only one to come checking in on him, visiting him almost daily to keep him company, to talk to him and by doing so keep him sane.

 _Odin if he really cared about him, like Frigga claimed, should have found it in himself to visit him at least once, if just to question him..._

 _And Thor? Who had gone to extreme lengths to bring him back to Asgard alive and had still called him brother down on earth? He had not visited him once that year either. Had not confronted him nor wanted to know more about what exactly had happened after his fall, how he came to earth, where the sceptre and the knowledge about the Tesseract had come from..._

Hel! Thor had even realised that someone else was holding the strings – thinking back to their encounter on that hilltop. But he had not seemed to care enough to find out who it was, at the end of the day...

Of course, Loki wouldn't have told him or confessed in him, if he'd asked... but the gesture would have been nice nevertheless...

 _But no: Thor had just accepted Loki's punishment as a given and went on saving the realms, being the hero and the golden son to mask over and help to quickly forget all about the black sheep of the family..._

Loki grew bitter and angry again. And he felt the Tesseract's excitement: "Tell me: Does Odin share your concern? Does Thor? … It must be so inconvenient them asking after me day and night..."

"You know full well that your actions have brought you here!"

"My actions...", he gave a derisive laugh.

Yes, it had been his _actions_ , but not _his_ actions _._

Oh, how he wanted to tell her! He really did … but opening his mouth only revealed the same old reasoning he'd employed throughout his time on earth... The lie the Tesseract had made him believe was his motivation and why he did the things he did.

"I was merely giving truth to the lie I've been fed my whole life: That I was born to be a king."

 _And if you couldn't be king of Asgard, then Midgard would serve you just as well._

 _And Odin and Thor would have seen how great you truly are! How wrong they were to underestimate you and toss you out!_

The Tesseract's voice was back. Why was it back? He had done so well... he had cast it out! What was happening?

He realized in that second that it had been back for a while now, messing with his thoughts, feeding on his insecurities – and he hadn't even noticed!

"A king?" Frigga asked, interrupting his racing thoughts. Incredulity rang clear in her voice, "A true king admits his faults! What of the lives you took on earth?"

Loki had started pacing around the cell again, trying to calm his nerves, trying to stay clear-headed and act his part and simultaneously get that thing out of his head again.

But his mother's words made guilt gnaw at him again... He had killed so many people... and destroyed the lives of so many more...

He couldn't show that he cared! And letting in all these emotions would make it easier for the Tesseract to gain ground and better access to manipulate him...

The Tesseract chuckled, enjoying his inner struggle.

"A mere handful compared to the numbers that Odin has taken himself." – he deflected her accusation.

 _I wonder... Has anyone ever held Odin accountable?_

Despite his every effort his gut was churning with the injustice – and the impact the Tesseract's word had on him was way to great...

"Your father...", Frigga began to defend Odin, and Loki lost control. The headache that had slowly been building, the Tesseract's awful whisper... and just then this sudden flare of raw power... It had made him snap.

"HE'S NOT MY FATHER!", he yelled and regretted it the instant he had.

Frigga stared at him, stunned into silence, before she told him in a cold and distant voice: "Then am I not your mother..."

Still shocked by what had happened and fearing that he had lost it again, that the Tesseract would soon take over again and do god knows what, he did the only reasonable thing he could think of: He pushed his mother and the only person that still seemed to care about him away: "You're not."

He saw her heart shatter the moment his did and it was taking everything he had to hold back the tears, to not apologize and take her into his arms.

Frigga gave a short mirthless chuckle, grimacing at him: "Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself..."

He couldn't take the look in her eyes and his own tears would soon spill over, so he closed his eyes and shook his head in order to regain control over himself again.

He hated himself so much. And he couldn't stand it any longer...

Damn Thanos! Damn the Tesseract! Damn this whole pretence! Damn his pride and irrational behaviour! He needed to apologize! And he needed to confess to her right now! He was not ready to loose her and let her go...

So he stepped forwards to take her hand, even if he would pass through her illusion if he did, but he needed her to accept this apologetic gesture, before he could go on...

But no sooner had he touched her did her illusion fade away completely.

That's when he noticed the change in atmosphere and in himself.

The Tesseract was ecstatic and even though he felt the complete opposite after the conversation with his mother, he couldn't stop it affecting him too.

And it soon became apparent what had worked the Tesseract in such a frenzy. Another infinity stone had just arrived on Asgard. And it was non other then the Aether – the Tesseract's (so to speak) soul mate.

Brilliant...


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters! (In case you thought so ^^)

I'm just posting this for you to have something to read while I'm working on the bigger piece of the story... Please forgive me that it's not yet very exciting but it needs to be told anyway ^^

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"This is so amazing!" Jane gave voice to her excitement, taking in the rainbow bridge, the huge organ like building towering over the far off city and the wide expense of space above it all.

"But damn it! I didn't take my journal with me... Can I burrow some paper and a pen? Do you've even got these here?"

Thor scowled at her: "Jane... we are not here for your... _studies_... Have you forgotten what just happened down on Midgard? You need to see one of our healers... find out what ails you..."

"Oh... yeah right...", Jane came to her senses again. She had in fact completely forgotten about that weird power that had surged through her, and loosing consciousness for five hours before that... But she felt fine now. She felt alive and the prospect of studying this strange, new planet and it's own unique celestial set-up was calling to her.

But a part of her also told her to heed Thor's words and go with him – if only to really get to go into the city... _and the palace! Yes, she needed to see the palace._

Something – it had to be her own curiosity – was urgently tugging her towards it.

Thor laughed and shook his head: "Jane Foster, you are truly mind-boggling!"

Jane blushed, feeling instantly self-conscious.

Thor might not even have meant it that way but his statement reminded her all to much of the whispers and criticism she had had to endure all her life as one of the few women in the scientific field of astrophysics and with her methods and theories being considered too queer.

They had not called her something as kind as mind-boggling but used words like "bonkers" or " _luna_ -tic" (yeah they had found that one especially funny because of the association of luna – moon ergo astrology...)

Though she had not let those critics get to her and Erik and Darcy had always been quick to reassure and support her, she couldn't say that they hadn't left a mark on her. She guessed that her, at times, too stubborn and reckless behaviour stemmed from that because she wanted to prove them all wrong so badly, and she wanted to show them that she could be a great astrophysicist whose theories weren't laughable, that she would take any risk.

"Hold on tight! We're going to take the quickest means of transport: Mjölnir!" Thor told her – a pleased and excited smile on his face, which made Jane smile back at him immediately – it was catching.

So she stepped into his embrace, he held her tight and swung his hammer. And then they were shooting of the ground, like a torpedo, towards the shimmering golden palace.

In a matter of seconds they arrived on a balcony of one of the cylindrical towers positioned on the eastern side of the building, overlooking a huge garden that turned into a forest and led to the open sea surrounding Asgard and the rainbow bridge.

It was the most stunning thing she'd ever seen. And from here the sky far up above her looked blue, just like on earth but on the horizon it turned purply-black and was dotted with some of the billions of stars and other planets orbiting around Asgard. Amazing!

And before Thor finally urged her into the palace she still got a quick glance at the two(!) suns shining down on them. She wanted to know how far away they were, how it was possible that they didn't burn away the whole atmosphere and how Asgard managed to be just moderately warm but not like Sahara-hot.

But that would have to wait because Thor wouldn't budge. He wanted her to see one of Midgards doctors – or _healers_ he'd called them – and so she would. Besides, she wanted to know what was going on with her, too...

She couldn't help it that Asgard and everything it had to offer her geek-heart was so inviting and distracting...

Thor led her down several hallways until they finally stopped in some kind of ward. There were a few Asgardians sitting around, some bruised and bandaged up, others not looking hurt physically, but apparently ill. And there were at least a dozen women in long togas hurtling and bustling around tending to the patients, fetching all kinds of herbs and tinctures and rushing in and out of rooms.

"Eir!" Thor called out, a huge grin on his face, and an elderly, stern-looking healer turned towards them.

She had deep-brown hair that was very bushy and done up into a Romanesque kind of hairstyle. How it stayed in place, Jane couldn't even fathom. Her hazel eyes saw Thor and a warm gleam shone in them, though her mouth was still set into a firm line and only hinted at a small smile.

"Look who came by to visit... again..." she announced, "Don't tell me you have dislocated your shoulder again swinging that damn hammer of yours around... or acquired some more scratches and bruises in the three days since last I saw you... You are depleting our ointment reserves, I'll have you know!" – she shook her head, but it was clear that she wasn't really chastising him, but joking.

Thor laughed: "No, your ointments are safe from me – at least for another day – I am here because of a different matter... Eir, meet Jane Foster of Midgard."

Jane gave a quick and shy smile, and a wave of her hand, offering her a "Hi" like she'd done with Heimdall.

Eir scrutinized her from head to toe, and there was something in her eyes, something that seemed to lay her bare and look right through to her soul.

After what Jane thought was an unbearably long time, but could have only been seconds, Eir finally looked back at Thor and puffed out air: "A Midgardian on Asgard! I hope you have informed Odin? And what is it that I can do, that her healers on earth couldn't have helped her with?"

Thor screwed up his face: "Actually there was no time to inform my father yet... this matter – it is urgent. There is something within her... and it doesn't bode me well... and I had the suspicion that it is probably not something the doctors on earth can help her with... So if you would please just take a look and find out what it is? I would be forever indebted to you!"

Eir tutted: "If the Allfather gets wind of this, he will not be pleased... I hope you know that! But, I will examine her – after all, I can see that she is clearly dear to you..." – Eir cast her a furtive glance again – "And, yes, I can also sense something strange about her... and it's drawn my interest, too. So come on then!"

She turned around and walked towards one of the rooms. Thor and Jane followed her.

"Nihja, Gerda! Please assist me!", she ordered two of the healers who had been helping one of the other patients to follow her.

Then Eir turned back to Thor, patting him on the shoulder and leading him on, while Jane was left to trail behind, the other two other healers on her heels and whispering secretly.

Eir either didn't want Jane to hear or, what it felt more like, just left her out of the conversation – being _only_ a Midgardian after all.

"So where does this talk of "being indebted" come from? You are the prince – I am the head healer at your service, there is no debt! – Besides, I don't remember you ever proposing such a thing to me before... You truly have changed haven't you? My dear boy, it seems you are becoming a proper king after all! Which reminds me: Will you be off world soon or have you finally got rid of the last bout of resistance?"

Though being physically excluded from the conversation, Jane, of course, still heard Eir's words. And also Thor's enthusiastic answer – as he began delving into detail about his long but finally victorious fight for peace in all the nine realms and being back for good.

But Jane didn't concentrate on their conversation as much as on the apparent way she was being excluded from it.

She remembered Sif, Fandral and Volstagg doing that when they had arrived on earth. They had immediately started talking to Thor, explaining what had happened on Asgard while he'd been gone, why they were there, what they were planning to do, not even sparing Jane and the others a glance or any kind of acknowledgement – had Thor not introduced them or initiated their joining the conversation...

And that led her to remembering Thor's behaviour after he had arrived on earth. He had acted as if he was superior to them... and she didn't want to know what he'd have done if he'd still had his powers... He had been pretty ass scary... and only Darcy tasering him had stopped his angry outbursts that night...

And of course, how could she forget about Loki? Hadn't he thought that earth was made to be ruled? Believing humans were beneath him? … That belief had to stem from somewhere... And it seemed to be the common belief on Asgard... that Midgard and Midgardians were not like them … were beneath them...

And probably not just them...

It made her angry. Their superiority-complex, their racist attitude. She felt rage boil in her veins... It made her dizzy again. And she stumbled.

Immediately Thor stopped his retelling and turned around to her, concern plain on his face: "Jane!" – he came to her side and steadied her – "Are you alright? Or do you want me to carry you?"

Jane looked from him to Eir, saw the way she eyed her with hardly veiled irritation bordering on disgust that clearly screamed _"what a weak human – I shouldn't have expected anything else",_ and Jane decided to grit her teeth and show them she was not weak! Whatever it was – that _thing_ in her – it would not get the better of her!

"No... I'm fine!", Jane snapped rather more harshly than she had intended to. After all, Thor wasn't the one making her feel like an insignificant, lesser being... she cast Eir a defiant glare, "I can walk. I just tripped."

Eir raised her eyebrow at her and Jane thought she saw appreciation there: "Well, we're here now anyway. If you would just turn left here and go lie down on that sickbed over their, please!"

Jane nodded and got onto the altar-like thing in the middle of the room she had been directed onto. It looked uncomfortable as hell but lying down she felt like sinking into the most comfortable and soft mattress she had ever gotten to lie down on.

Then again she would probably find any mattress heavenly compared to what she'd been used to in her trailer and even the bed and mattress in her flat in London were just the cheapest thing she had gotten her hands on, as she considered sleep a regrettably unavoidable necessity and not made a big deal out of it therefore.

As soon as she'd lain down the whole thing was encased by a golden, shimmering veil. Eir stepped to the foot of the sickbed and tapped the veil. Immediately charts and shapes appeared before her and Jane realized this veil could be used like any monitor or tablet down on earth and that whole thing was sort of like an MRT: Her vitals were scanned and immediately projected onto that little _screen_ in front of Eir. And then an imprint of her body appeared just a bit above her.

"What is that..." , she wondered, fascinated by the whole thing and was reprimanded by Eir to stop touching the projections and lie still. A difficult feat...

She realized that this thing was far more than what normal people down on earth knew as an MRT...

"That's a quantum field generator, isn't it?", Jane asked Eir excitedly, while touching and examining the projection of her body that was levitating above her and the weird red cluster around her chest.

Eir threw her another queer look and answered in a tone that implied that she had no idea what Jane was talking about and thought her ridiculous and stupid for suggesting she knew what Asgardian technology was: "No, that's a Soul Forge."

Jane really had enough of Eir's belittling behaviour towards her and fired back: "Does a soul forge transfer molecular energy from one place to another?"

Eir stopped her work and looked at her stunned and as if finally really considering and seeing her: "Yes..."

"Then it's a quantum field generator", she concluded, beaming at Thor – who to her regret didn't look as pleased and excited as her. Yes, he smiled back at her. But his face – especially his eyes – seemed to have been sculptured into a constant look of concern.

But even if he hadn't been concerned for her well-being, she somehow doubted that he would have really shared her enthusiasm either. Thor just wasn't the scholarly type of guy. He probably didn't even know nor care what a quantum field generator (or Soul Forge) was and how it worked exactly. His area of expertise was more of the physical nature...

And that again was so totally not her cup of tea... Darcy had tried doing weekly gym-sessions a while ago and once dragged her with her, too – it was _the_ worst experience and no one would _ever_ get her to do anything like that again!

No... Running and push-ups and sit-ups were out of the question for her. She preferred her healthy-unhealthy diet of coffee and eating microwavable food or take-out when she felt like it...

Her contemplation was interrupted by someone walking into the room that set all the healers that had come to watch her next to Eir, Nihja and Gerda, into a hustle to get out of the way or out of the room. It also caught Thor's attention, who looked weary and as if mentally bracing himself. Eir's expression was still as stern as before, and Jane wasn't sure, but she could swear that there was a slight amount of anger burning in her yes. Then it vanished and she looked at Thor in an exasperated and pitying, _I-_ _told-you-so_ kind of way.

"Are my words mere noises to you, that you ignore them completely?" an old, rough voice boomed from the rooms entryway.

"She is ill..." Thor told him.

"She is mortal!" Came the man's curt reply. That alone already made her not like him. Such contempt in only those two words...

Eir stepped away from the Soul Forge then, and it went blank and dead again.

While the healers had all dispersed and Eir had stepped back to the corners of the room, two men clad in armour had entered the room behind the bulky man, who was clad in some kind of armour himself, that was similar to Thor's.

Walking past Thor, as if ignoring his presence, the man went on: "Illness is their defining trait."

Jane's eyes furrowed and she cast him an incredulous look. Who was this guy? What was his problem with her? And with Thor? Who was just trying to help?

"I brought her here because we can help her...", Thor defended himself and her, sounding slightly irritated.

"She does not belong her on Asgard anymore than a goat belongs at a banquet table!", the man merely stated in reply, looking cold and indifferent while he walked around the Soul Forge towards Eir.

He had not looked at her once, had completely ignored her, and now he was talking about her as if she was no more than a lowly animal that didn't know its place! Who the hell did he think he was? And why? why did all Asgardians think humans were such an unworthy and primitive species?

If they still thought we were the ape-like primordials or the towering fools that had worshipped them as gods due to their lack of a better explanation and understanding of the world, then they were in for a big surprise...

And Jane would let him know that. She would not just take his insults. And though he might think her weak – which physically might be true – she would show him who was the intellectually primitive one in his prehistoric views and prejudices and presumptuous behaviour!

"Did he just...?", Jane gave voice to her indignation and turned around to face the old man directly, "Who do you think you are?"

She caught Eir's shocked expression and Thor's sharp intake of breath and knew that she had just acted too rash and spoken too boldly and realised suddenly but too late that this man wasn't just any man... Oh dear...

Despite that, she noticed that Eir's expression was not just one of shock, but also awe now. And Jane thought she saw the hint of a small smile play around the corners of her mouth and bemusement in her eyes.

And there was something else there, too... something she couldn't put her finger on... but it made that _thing_ inside her... that heat … blaze up and flutter through her veins... it felt all too much like _excitement_.

"I am Odin", a harsh voice snapped her out of her short trance, "King of Asgard. Protector of the nine realms."

He had stopped his wanderings and stiffly stood before her now, staring at her with that regal air about him.

Jane was flustered and didn't know how best to get herself out of this one. All her conviction and anger and boldness had left her. So she did her usual Jane-ish thing: pretend it didn't happen and act as if unfazed: "Well, I am..."

"I know very well who you are Miss Foster", Odin barked and stepped away from her again towards the door.

Though she knew it was childish and realised that Odin didn't very much like her, she couldn't help it but effused to Thor excitedly: "You told your dad about me?"

But Thor didn't look too thrilled and chose not to react as he turned towards Odin again, imploring him: "Something is within her, father! Something I have not seen before!"

"Her world has it's healers – they are called 'doctors' – Let them deal with it!", he replied stone-faced and in a tone that implied that he would not listen to any further argument, and bellowed, "Guards take her back to Midgard!"

Then he brusquely turned around, not sparing her another glance, and strode to the door. The two men that had accompanied him were at the Soul Forge in an instant to take her away.

No way! She was not going back! Not like this! And not now!

She hadn't even gotten to look at any of the constellations Asgards night sky had to offer yet! And she had wanted to see more of the palace! Her curiosity was still tugging at her to delve deeper to explore and discover! She wouldn't let that opportunity go to waste just because hypocritical, prejudiced, stupid Odin wanted her gone!

So she braced herself to fend of the guards. The now familiar bubble of heat came rushing through her veins and she cast those guards a death glare.

In the periphery of her vision she could swear she saw Eir smile and she herself felt suddenly gleeful.

And then the guards touched her and she heard Thor's too late warning not to do that and again that shock wave of raw energy emanated from her and threw the guards against the walls.

But she couldn't laugh at them victoriously and smugly like she had wanted to because darkness was crowding in on her as soon as that burst of energy had left her and she shortly drifted out of consciousness.

She drew in a ragged breath, faintly aware of Thor stroking her cheek, his deep rumbling voice talking to her but she didn't catch his words.

Then she felt another soothing caress. It wasn't physical. It was more like ice-cold water suddenly being released into her veins and a tender hand opening the knot that had started to constrict her heart and lungs.

Instantly she felt her head stop spinning and was able to open her eyes again and look at her right arm that Odin was examining.

"That's impossible!", he said as he revealed the deep-red something that coursed through her veins.

And seeing that red thing... liquid … liquidy-gas... it awoke something... there was something lurking in the back of her head... something she was missing... something she had forgotten...

Eir stepped towards them again, staring at her intently for a second before turning to Odin: "The... _infection_ – it's defending her."

Thor scowled and corrected her: "No. It's defending itself..."

Eir's eyebrows rose, clearly surprised, and she curtly nodded her approval.

"You need to come with me", Odin ordered her and Thor and then let her arm go and whirled around, starting to leave the room.

Thor helped her up and off the Soul Forge, keeping his hand on her upper arm to steady her.

She felt a twinge of anger – but it was fleeting.

She hated her own weakness... But it was not just that...

She didn't know how to properly interpret her own feelings... and that was infuriating, too!

"I could carry you now if you'd like", Thor offered, a warm smile on his face.

Jane smiled back but determinedly shook her head.

Then she turned to Eir to thank her – regardless of her not having found out what exactly that infection was. But Odin seemed to know so it wasn't much of a loss: "Thank you for helping us... or _me_."

"A pleasure," Eir replied (… though it must certainly not have been), "Fare you well for now, Jane Foster..."

Eir bowed her head and gave her a curt but nonetheless meaningful smile. Then she drifted from the room.

And Jane and Thor finally followed after Odin, who was probably pissed at them for keeping him waiting... Or more specifically at her...


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters - just in case you thought so ^^

P.S. I think I am finally getting there - soon xD I am so sorry for keeping you waiting, but there is just so much in my mind that wants to be written out first ^^

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Thor and Jane joined Odin. But he didn't say anything about them not coming after him immediately. He just went on walking a good distance in front of them, his guards in tow.

They seemed to walk for hours until Odin finally turned a corner and they emerged into a huge library.

Bookshelves were stacked to bursting, rising up to the high ceiling. On either side.

And in the middle of the room, right in front of them, a huge tree rose as high... no, even through the ceiling. It's mighty branches each held their own galaxies and Jane had to stop in her tracks because the whole thing was just so amazing.

This had to be Yggdrasil and the nine realms. Or at least a model of it. Like they had globes on earth – It was just on a much much bigger scale ...

Odin led them further into the huge hall to a small secluded section that had a table and some chairs in it, all the while talking to them, well, rather only Thor: "There are relics that pre-date the universe itself. What lies within her appears to be one of them..."

So he went on explaining about the Dark Elves and how they had ruled before their universe came into being. Jane didn't know what to say to that. She knew that before the … _their_ universe there had to have been something – but another universe? Another reality? It somehow was too much to grasp even though it made perfect sense.

And then Odin said it. One word... One name... _The Aether_.

It meant something... There was something... Why was it always on the tip of her tongue but eluded her when she could almost grasp it?

"... while the other relics often appear as stones, the Aether is fluid and ever changing," Odin's voice drew her attention back to him again and he opened up a book that illustrated what he'd just told them.

Jane couldn't stop her fingers from brushing over one corner of the page to feel the paper and the flowing and changing script on it.

Six relics... six stones...the Aether... _one of the six entities that most beings refer to as the infinity stones… though technically not a_ stone _... the solid form too constricted … fluid to be free, flowing, bending and turning, to be able to better shift and shape..._

Wow! What was that? Where did that knowledge come from? She had definitely not known about any of what Odin had just told them before now and definitely not anything concerning the Aether or what else the relics were called...

Could it be Odin? Talking to her in her mind? Was it the book?

She had touched it... so maybe it could transfer knowledge through contact?

It sounded crazy but Jane was ready to believe anything right about now...

"The Aether changes matter into dark matter," Odin went on and her eyes snapped up from the book to meet his stony expression, she let her hands drop to her sides again, "It seeks out host bodies, drawing strength from their life force."

 _The reality shaper! The shifter of matter!_

 _The stones... they do need host bodies to be truly powerful... but could theoretically do without one …_

 _Though mentally strong and tough, physically weak beings won't be of use to it for long..._

This time Jane had neither touched the book nor did Odin give any indication of communicating with her... And Thor even less so. Besides, he looked as clueless about all of this as she did. So where the hell did that sudden knowledge come from? What was going on with her?

"Malekith sought to use the Aether's power to return the universe to one of darkness. But after many years of bloodshed my father, Bor, finally triumphed, ushering in an era of peace throughout the nine realms, defeating the Dark Elves once and for all and burying the Aether deep within Svartalfheim, hoping it would never be found..." Odin ended his speech.

 _It's the hight of insolence! You don't just imprison an infinity stone nor do you use it lightly... Or at all – as they don't like to be used..._

"What happened? To the Dark Elves?" Jane directed her question at Odin and he actually turned towards her, acknowledging her at least slightly by answering her.

"He killed them all," Odin said without batting an eyelash. Completely devoid of any emotion.

Yeah, the Dark Elves sounded pretty bad and all, but to annihilate them all? That was still genocide... They couldn't have been all bad, could they? To Jane there was no such thing as being purely evil...

Thor frowned then: "Are you certain? That they are all dead?" – Jane realized that Thor didn't have any sympathetic feelings for the Dark Elves either. He only asked for protective and security purposes. – "After all, you said the Aether was buried and probably warded off, too, if Bor wanted to makes sure it was not to be found again, and yet here it is and Jane found it..."

"The Dark Elves are dead!", Odin insisted adamantly, "The Aether suddenly turning up again can only hail from the Convergence that is almost upon us. There is no other way that it could have been uncovered once more... by a mere human at that..."

Odin's condescending statement made anger flare up in Jane again but she quickly masked it.

"But, alas, luckily it was her – a simple human – that found the Aether and not a greater, more powerful being. The consequences would have been disastrous... At least this way we have the advantage over our enemies..."

"Alright...", Jane cut him off, not being able to bear another second of his insulting attitude towards her, "So, what we've established so far is, that this thing – the Aether – it's powerful and it's dangerous and it will kill me...

What I am interested in now is: How are we gonna get it out of me? Does your book happen to mention anything about that?"

"No," Odin simply replied, "it does not. – and with that he shut the book and turned around to stare out of the window behind them.

Brilliant... Truly brilliant.

But considering that that meant a death sentence for her, she felt considerably more annoyed at Odin than she was actually terrified.

Maybe because she hadn't really processed what it meant yet.

Or maybe because that thing inside her, though she felt it there, also still seemed quite distant… she could almost believe it to be completely harmless and dormant. – If it weren't for the occasional power surges...

And maybe Jane also was too much of an optimist: She believed there to always be a way, that every problem had a solution. She would just have to find it...

"There has to be a way..." Thor voiced her thoughts – it was one thing she admired about and shared with him: that sense for optimism and the stubborn determination in the face of resistance.

Odin breathed out heavily: "Please, for all I care, search all the nine realms for an answer, but you won't find one! It will be easier to just wait it out – let the Aether consume her and once it withdraws itself we can catch it and lock it away again!"

"You will just stand back and let her die? What about your duty as a protector?", Thor turned on him, incredulity and disbelief in his eyes and voice.

"Yes, I am the protector of the nine realms – as a collective! Not every single living being in them – If one threatens the peace and life of the whole than I am ready to sacrifice it – as any good king should!" Odin fired back.

"Your human is to stay here on Asgard. I can't have her wander off and hurt anyone when she loses control again, nor let the Aether fall into the wrong hands...

But as I am not completely heartless I will entrust our best scholars to search our library and travel the realms in search for a way to remove the Aether. You can accompany them, of course."

Thor scowled at him in distaste and Jane was still too shocked to do more than stare at the both of them.

Odin huffed: "I think we are done here. Guards! Please escort Miss Foster to one of our guest quarters!"

Two guards stepped away from the corners of their little alcoves and towards her but Thor stepped between her and them: "It's alright! I will take her... _Father_ " – he stiffly inclined his head to Odin, in a gruff way of showing himself off, then whirled around, gripped her upper arm and led her from the library.

His grip was firm and anger was rolling off him in waves. She had a hard time keeping up with his long stride, and he was rather dragging her behind him, and his grip was hurting her arm. But she didn't say anything as she was afraid she might make the situation worse.

When they had left the library far behind he finally slowed and eased his grip on her arm. Then he made them stop and turning towards her he cupped her cheeks and made her look at him: "Jane, I am truly sorry! My father, he … He is old and blinded... But I will find a way to safe you! I promise! ... But to do that I need you to stay here, where you're safe for now, so that I can travel the realms..."

Jane nodded: "Thor it's alright. Yes, I have to admit, your dad is a pain in the ass – and he most certainly does not seem to like me much – but I believe in you! You – We – will find a solution..."

"Jane... ever the optimist..." Thor smiled at her, a sad twinge to his features. And then he leaned down and finally kissed her.

Two years of waiting – finally worth it all. The kiss still as amazing as the first one they shared – maybe even more thrilling, now.

And still her gut clenched. But not from butterflies and excitement...

Jane drew back from the kiss and a thought suddenly struck her.

"Thor...? I just realised... back on earth, you knew I was in trouble... something about Heimdall not seeing me?" Jane didn't really know what she was asking him – or maybe she did know what was bothering her all to well, but kept postponing asking.

"Yes... Heimdall can see everything, everyone, everywhere, any time. But he lost sight of you today...", Thor confirmed.

Jane nodded: "And that is not normal? Heimdall always sees everything?"

"Well, technically he does and it is rare for Heimdall's sight to fail him. But, yes, it is possible to hide from his sight if you are highly adapt at magic – like Loki for instance – he excelled at tricking Heimdall, probably one of the only ones who can... or could... as he is now imprisoned and can't do much anymore..." Thor explained to her.

Jane had wondered what had become of Loki after she'd heard that Thor had taken him back here, but it hadn't really been the first thing on her mind either. And even now she had more important things to ask Thor.

"So, Heimdall lost sight of me... but I'm not a magician... so how was that possible?" Jane asked him, now totally confused.

"I believe you were not on earth any longer. Or you were, but weren't – stuck somewhere in between", Thor took a guess, "With the convergence upon us things like that can happen."

 _The in-between._ Jane had heard that before... And _convergence_ – that's what Odin had said had caused the Aether's reappearance. What was it?

"How can you be but not be somewhere? And what is the convergence? Odin has mentioned it but not explained it..." she further inquired.

"Well," Thor began to explain, lifting her hand and intertwining it with hers, "The nine realms – they orbit around Yggdrasil like every planet orbits around a sun. And once every 5,000 years the nine realms align perfectly and the boarders between them become blurred, which makes it possible to slip through them. This is what most likely happened to you...

And you're lucky that you came back to earth, because once the convergence has passed, the boarders close up again, too, and you would be stuck where you are..." – he emphasized his point by entangling their joint hands again.

So that was what they had discovered in that old warehouse in Greenwich, that was what her instruments had picked up on and why they had behaved like back in New Mexico. Naturally occurring, super powerful and almost stable wormholes!

And Thor's theory also explained why some things they had thrown at it came back and others didn't. Amazing! Oh, how she wished to be back on earth to really study it now...

Well, and Jane also had to admit that Thor had a nice voice for explaining things and he had improved since that crude drawing of Yggdrasil and his jumble of an explanation back in New Mexico...

"I like the way you explain things", she blurted out with a smile, which made him laugh.

"You flatter me... But I am nothing compared to Loki..." a new warmth crept into his voice, but also sadness and regret, "He could tell and spin stories so good you would be immediately enthralled! And his way of explaining things put all the scholars of Asgard to shame... I think he inherited that from our mother who is a marvellous storyteller herself... It is truly a shame that later one he used his amazing gift at words more and more to lie and deceive..."

Jane couldn't stop herself but be intrigued by Thor's description of Loki.

She had always just seen him as Thor's brother who had sent the Destroyer to Puente Antiguo, which had nearly levelled the whole city and killed or hurt a good many people, and after that had considered it a great idea to subjugate earth by making people void of emotion and proper reason with that weird sceptre of his and using the Tesseract to then lead an army of aliens into the heart of New York, costing even more people their lives and destroying most of this beautiful city in the process...

So hearing about him being or having been in any way good or adored in some way by people and thinking about him as a brother that Thor had grown up with lovingly, was extremely weird and made her feel queasy...

"So where is Loki now?" Jane asked, reprimanding herself – she honestly didn't want to know, and she didn't want to talk about Loki...

Thor sighed: "He's held in a secure cell in the prison beneath our very feet... Don't worry, it's safe! Guards keep watch every hour of every day and the cells are impenetrable and warded against magic. He won't get out, unless he's let out. Which won't happen as my father has sentenced him to lifelong imprisonment..."

"So what? Is it 25 years like on earth after which there could be a chance of being pardoned ergo lifitng the incarceration? Or considering you're gods is it more like a thousand years? And then what? Even if I won't be alive anymore then, he could potentially invade earth again...", Jane voiced her concern.

Thor shook his head: "No, Jane, he won't. Lifelong imprisonment means lifelong imprisonment for us. He will spend the rest of his long life there... No pardoning..."

"Oh..." Jane breathed. It somehow didn't please her as much as it should have. No... was that sadness? No, sympathy? Why the hell did she feel sympathetic towards Loki? It was what he deserved! If not more so … But for some reason it felt _wrong_... _unjust_...

Jane cleared her throat: "So, em... what I actually wanted to get at – before we drifted off-topic – is: You had Heimdall watching me, knew when I was in trouble and the Bifrost was also repaired … so why did you take so long to come visit me? And why only when something was wrong?"

Thor sighed: "I told you... there was chaos, the nine realms were at war, I had to ensure the peace again... and... well, you've met my father, so you can imagine he wasn't exactly supporting the idea of me courting you... I had to convince him first, otherwise I couldn't possibly hope to bring you to Asgard... Well, now the Aether – as bad as the situation might be – has at least taken care of that small problem..."

Oh yeah, right... Protecting the nine realms... ensuring peace... he had explained that to her shortly after his arrival and after she'd smacked him... For some reason she had let that information slip from her mind...

And wait...

Had he just told her he wanted to court her?! This meant he was considering a relationship, right? Oh god! She thought her heart stopped for a second then. Thor – the god of thunder – did want to be in a relationship with Jane even though she was a _mere human_!

Oh crap... now she also saw the problem with Odin... Her spirits fell again.

"I just don't get it: Why does your father hate me so much? Or humans in general? – And it's not just Odin... Eir acted the same and the other healers, plus Sif and Volstagg, too, not as openly, but I could sense their disdain when they came for you and met us back in New Mexico..." Jane confronted him.

Thor frowned: "It's our society I guess... Our history and biological set-up do certainly also play a role... Odin as king of Asgard and the protector of all the realms, really sees himself as such – as the all-mighty, as the one looking over everyone else and I think years of inhabiting and enacting that role has left its mark and now he considers anything not-Asgardian inferior...

And because of the wealth and prosperity and status Odin's reign has brought about the people of Asgard see themselves as superior, too... After all if Asgard is where the protector lives who oversees all the realms and if our army is the one defending all the others than it has to be a special place, a special people, ergo, every Asgardian considers themselves special... And as we do live to an old age those perceptions and views stagnate and stay steadfast for a very long time... As you probably remember I was not much different when I first arrived on Midgard..."

Jane breathed a laugh: "No... you weren't really... You had me – us – kind of scared that night actually... And though I'm still sorry for Darcy tasering you, it was probably for the best..."

"I believe so, too, Jane", Thor grinned at her and then smiled at her lovingly, "You changed me for the better! And I no longer consider my banishment a punishment but a blessing because of it! I will be forever thankful to the Norns for having led me to you!"

Jane blushed and cast her eyes down to the ground, at a loss for words. When she looked up again, Thor had moved closer towards her and soon afterwards was kissing her again.

And she wanted to kick herself and her gut for ruining the moment again.

Plus, the person clearing her throat behind them just then, too.

Both Thor's and her head snapped into the direction of the sound. A woman had appeared in the hallway, dressed in a blue tunic with gold shoulder and breast plates and a grey-blue cloth wrapped around her shoulders. Her golden-brown hair was done up in earphone style on both sides and there was still some left falling open over the length of her back. Her blue eyes were twinkling and her smile showed dimples and wrinkles at her eyes making her look just the more lovely and beautiful than she already appeared. And though she looked to be in her 40s she still had an air of youth about her.

"Thank the Norns indeed! For giving us such a lovely fair maiden!", the women said – implying that she had been standing there and listening in on them at least for that last part... but her smile was genuine and warm, no hint of disdain or sarcasm anywhere.

Thor cleared his throat and grinned from Jane to the woman, a faint blush on his cheeks: "Jane Foster, please meet Frigga – Queen of Asgard and my mother!"

Jane stepped away from Thor, again deeply flustered and at a loss for word. How did you properly greet royalty? Jane couldn't curtsy without embarrassing herself and she did not know how to speak proper Queen's English... Besides, the British Queen's English maybe didn't even compare to the etiquette and way of speaking here...

So in the end Jane, for lack of a better idea, went with her "Hi" again.

Frigged didn't rebuff her or looked offended, but smiled if possible even more kindly: "Welcome to Asgard Jane! It's a pleasure to finally meet the person that has helped my son during his banishment and yes, he has changed a great deal because of you – a mother notices such things maybe more astutely..."

Her gaze shortly wandered off into the distance then and a look of sadness appeared in them for a second, before she met Thor's and Jane's eyes again with a heartfelt smile: "Well, and you have certainly made an entrance, bringing a human on Asgard! That hasn't happened since Baldr... And I also hear that some powerful relic resides in you? It is strange how these things seem to find their way to Asgard... First the Tesseract now this..."

Right... the Tesseract was here, too! Jane had forgotten about Thor having taken it back with him, too, that day a year ago.

The Tesseract... How she had longed to study it, after she found out about it and Erik's involvement. She had been quite envious of Erik for having been chosen rather than her – although now a treacherous part of her heart was glad it hadn't been her...

And she was also glad that the Tesseract was gone from earth for good, as the threat it posed to humanity was far to great... But even though she was disappointed, as well, as she could see what scientific breakthroughs they could have achieved with it...

But there would be no further studying it... At least not on earth... but maybe – just maybe – they would let her see and examine it here? It was an impossible suggestion even to her mind, but one could hope and dream...

"But I am confident that we will find a way to get it out of you!", Frigga promised her and Jane focused on their conversation again.

Frigga looked her up and down then: "But first, you might want to change, and maybe a bath to soothe your nerves would be in order too! Come with me my dear!"

Frigga extended her arm to her and Jane – not sure how to respond – looked back at Thor, who gave her an encouraging smile, and that made her take Frigga's arm to be led away by her, leaving Thor to stare after them.

"I take it you're feeling quite overwhelmed and exhausted? You must be... first travelling here via Bifrost – that must have been quite the experience on you and your body – then of course emerging onto a whole new planet so highly different from yours, and of course carrying this thing inside of you is a great burden as well... I can sense its power... and something like that? It drains you...", Frigga looked at her in concern.

Jane nodded, not sure of her voice: "Yes" – she cleared her throat – "It's been quite a day... Although that thing... I don't really sense it all to much – just when it lashes out..."

"Yes, that is certainly when its presence is most pronounced, but I must regrettably shatter your illusion of safety... the Aether – it is a powerful entity much like the Tesseract. And I believe... it is sentient, too, at least to some degree... So there is a high probability of it subtly influencing your thoughts and feelings..."

"How do you know? Have you encountered something like this before?" Jane asked her, having a hard time believing that this thing could be somehow controlling her without her realising it.

 _Infinity Stones don't like to be used... but rather being the one holding the strings... The Infinity Stones are very much alive..._

Unbidden that thought entered her head and Jane tried her best to shove it down and ignore it... For the first time she asked herself whether this wasn't just random knowledge coming to her for whatever reason but her own insecurities responding to the information that was offered to her...

Any which way it made her nervous and scared the hell out of her.

She focused back on Frigga, who gave her a short smile and replied: "I like to observe and guess. And Thor might have mentioned it, though I doubt it, that my special gift is – you could call it – _perception_. Sometimes I see and feel what is to happen in the future. It also helps me unmask the truth most of the times. It is a reliable gift, but it comes and goes as it pleases and sometimes what I see is at first a bit unclear and jumbled..."

"Wow", Jane breathed – she definitely didn't hold with fate nor predestination and that made it hard to find a reply, "I... em – please excuse me for being so blunt, but I don't really believe in destiny or fate or seeing the future..."

Frigga laughed – it had a way of making her smile, too: "I most certainly expected nothing else from you. But maybe in time you will come around and maybe accept that there is _something_ that's close to fate. I do want to tell you so much more – in time – but for now the comfort of a warm bath is calling for you!"

With this Frigga led her into a big chamber and into an adjacent room, where a bathtub was already being prepared by attendants. The bathroom was huge too. The floor and walls made out of cream-coloured stone-tiles and big windows on the far end of the room with a bench to sit on, a partition secluding a little changing area and the big white bathtub in the middle of the room, looking more like a mix between a luxurious hot tub and a swimming pool, with steps leading up to and in it.

Jane gaped at it all: "Wow! That is... fancy."

"This will be your rooms for the duration of your stay", Frigga told her, "Ask the attendants if you need anything! You will find new clothes already laid out for you behind that screen. I will leave you for now and when your ready someone will take you to the dining hall. You must be famished, too..."

Jane nodded: "Thank you so much!"

"It is the least that the noble house of Odin can do!", Frigga bowed to her, "I will see you at dinner!"

With this she took her leave along with the two attendants that had prepared the bath and chambers for her.

As soon as they had left the room Jane cast another glance around the room, still totally mesmerized and then began to strip out of her clothes and finally take that hot bath.

Sinking down into the water, the heat of it melting away the tension in her muscles and the steam inlaid with rose- and herbal-scented perfumes clouding her head and whiffing her troubled thoughts to the back of her mind, she drifted off...

It was what finally did it. What finally made her _see_ – no remember:

 _The red something rushed at and into her and, as soon as it made contact, her whole being was consumed by flames. Everything was burning. Every nerve, every cell, every fibre of her being. It was agony and she screamed but no sound seemed to escape her mouth._

 _And then the burning suddenly ceased._

 _And Jane felt no more. Darkness was everywhere around her. She had no sense of place nor time. She felt out of existence. Weightless. But still trapped and crushed beneath a heavy weight..._

 _Something was there with her in the darkness. She felt it laugh and rejoice. It made her feel like laughing and being giddy, too._

" _I have waited for this moment so long!", a bodiless voice suddenly spoke to her – the sound filling the emptiness around her, "Thank you, my dear, for finding me! It's been high time!"_

" _... your welcome?" Jane thought uncertainly, feeling really silly, "Whoever you are..."_

 _The voice chuckled: "I am sorry, how rude of me! We should definitely introduce ourselves and get to know each other as we are going to be together for quite a while... I am the Aether!_

 _The reality shaper! The shifter of matter! One of the six entities that most beings refer to as the infinity stones._

 _Though technically I am not a_ stone _... I really hate that constricted solid form – I like to be free, flowing, bending and turning, to be able to better shift and shape..."_

" _Woooaw wait... infinity what? Stones? But Stones are inanimate objects... And Aether? Isn't that the fancy word for sky? Or do you mean Ether like the chemical component?" Jane stuttered, trying to make sense of all she'd just been told and of this whole situation..._

" _Oh no, my dear... I am neither of those things...", the Aether laughed at her, "And we – infinity stones are very much alive... but, alas, we do need host bodies to be truly powerful... At least my siblings do in their solid shape – I could theoretically do without one, but were is the fun in that? Besides I've been trapped for so long I need some time to adjust again first..._

 _Though I must admit... You are not what I expected... Yes, you clearly appear to be a mentally strong and tough being, but your body... it is weak as can be... I fear I won't have use of you for too long..."_

 _Jane scowled (if you could mentally scowl at darkness):"So why then take me? How did I even get to you – wherever that is and wherever I am now... Why not simply change hosts?"_

 _Jane daringly probed the Aether – even though she would have shaken to the bones – if she'd had bones, or a body... but in this state she didn't feel like having either..._

 _The Aether sighed: "To answer your first question, where we are? Let's call it the_ in-between _... As to your second question... It's not that simple... Firstly, I cannot just jump from host body to host body. Once I have chosen I am stuck with that until it has outlived its usefulness. Secondly, you were the first to come around and I was not going to be choosy after 5,000 years... Thirdly, we are fated..._

 _I know that you – as a woman of science – won't have much stake in fate, but believe me when I tell you: Fate is very much real. And I saw you and that we would_ meet _and that you could_ help _me..."_

" _Help you with what?" Jane asked, even though she dreaded the answer._

" _I see that you have ties with an Asgardian... And I have need of that connection", it told her, "There is something on Asgard that I've been kept away from for a very long time... Longer even than my imprisonment... And I need to get back there and find it! You will get me there!_

 _And I promise you: You will also find something there that will satiate your thirst for knowledge and help you discover all the universe has to offer!"_

" _Is that all?" she couldn't believe it – the Aether just wanted a ride to Asgard?_

 _No, it couldn't be as simple as that... There had to be a catch... And what about that_ thing _that would help her discover the universe and get her all the knowledge she sought?_

 _Was it a book? Or a special kind of device? She had no idea... And that was bad... because it made her curiosity spike..._

 _But Jane had to stay focused and rational!_

" _Ok... No. Just be frank with me here. What is it that you really want? You might seek something – but what will you do with it or when you've found it? What do you even want to find?" Jane pestered it._

 _The Aether gave a short, non-committal sound:"Well... That's for me to know and for you to . . ."_

" _Then I won't help you... You can screw yourself! I won't put anyone in danger! And I know that that's something you have in mind..."_

" _Oh Jane... dear Jane...", the Aether sighed dramatically,"You might have a strong and stubborn mind, but your body is still mine now. So, you won't have a choice..._

 _But if it soothes you: Yes, I might have planned on enacting my revenge on the Asgardians for trapping me in this place... It was the hight of insolence! You don't just imprison an infinity stone nor use it lightly... Or at all – as we don't like to be used... but rather being the one holding the strings..._

 _But in 5,000 I've had enough time to think and notice the one or other shift in the universe around me, and revenge is not such a burning goal for me anymore as there are greater things to come... I really just need to get back to Asgard..."_

" _What greater things? What did you see?" Jane wanted to know. She still did not feel any more reassured than before even with the Aether's admission and promise not to revenge itself... The talk about something greater being on its way somehow sounded worse..._

" _I can't tell you... It's still unclear. But events will unfold soon..." it answered cryptically, "But for now I really need to get back to Asgard..._

 _Oh... and I am sorry... taking a hold of your body has probably caused a bit of a damage to some of your brain cells... But don't worry! Nothing major!" – the Aether was quick to reassure her, feeling her shock – "I have prevented the worst, but you will need some more time to heal before you wake up again... I just want to warn you that you might not immediately remember some things or forget about others completely... I can't know for sure... I guess we will see about that in time!_

 _Well, then, Jane Foster, it is time..."_

 _And with those last words the Aether's all-encompassing presence vanished and another, new darkness swallowed her whole._

 _She didn't know how much time passed until finally she felt her body again and the cold hard ground beneath her. Birds were chirping somewhere above her and the sounds of car honks and sirens, from afar, reached her ears._

 _As she opened her eyes she found herself in one of the empty warehouses of Greenwich industrial estate._

And as Jane came back around again to herself and out of the memory, she was back in the bathtub on Asgard, the water having gone cold. But it was not just that which made her shudder...


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters! (Just in case you thought so^^)

P.S. Now finally there's some more Loki for you (I guess he has been sorely missed? Well, definitely by me at least - so I enjoyed writing this^^ Hope _you_ enjoy reading it :D

* * *

Brilliant...

It seemed Thor had gone down to Midgard to take that damn mortal to Asgard... How else could she have gotten here, and who else could it have been but him if she was involved...

And by doing so he had taken the Aether along with them...

Heimdall had probably noticed that something was off with the mortal and had immediately informed him. Loki had not expected anything else. If anyone then it would be Heimdall to sense something as ancient and powerful as the Aether reawaken...

He was also probably the only one who had. After all, Loki himself had only witnessed it because of the connection he shared with the Tesseract, otherwise he would have been as oblivious as everyone else.

And Loki also knew that Thor had Heimdall watch his precious mortal ever since returning to Asgard one year ago – it had been his first request before handing Loki over to the guards and Odin – so Heimdall was bound to see it consuming her, regardless of his immense power of sight.

This whole affair between Thor and Heimdall had riddled Loki from the start. He couldn't understand why Thor would not just go and visit his mortal, but ordered Heimdall to watch her and update him on any ongoings with her...

Yes, he had often been off world to restore the peace in all the realms, that the Bifrost's destruction and Loki's doings on Midgard had caused to disrupt. But that did not keep him busy all day every week over the whole of the last year. Loki remembered that every time he had conversed with their mother she had hinted at Thor being home or returning soon. So by all means, there would have been ample time for him to go and see her himself instead of entrusting Heimdall with watching her...

He really could not make sense of it.

If, hypothetically, he had met and courted an earthen woman, who by nature were fragile and prone to death to begin with, he would have immediately rushed to her aid at the first sign of danger or, at least, after taking care of the danger, he would have visited her to see if she was alright and tell her that he would have to go again soon and might not return for a while, just so that she knew and wouldn't fret.

And, then afterwards, if possible, he would have used every spare minute he had to see her – no matter whether he had wars to fight, and peace to restore, because making her needlessly worry and fear for him because she didn't know what had happened or whether he was alright, would be the most foolish thing to do to someone you love. It was cruel. And it made it seem as if you cared but didn't care enough to even spare a second for a simple "hello"...

But, well, as it was, he would never stoop so low as to take himself a Midgardian lover anyway... Well, maybe for a night and some fun at most, but definitely not for courting. No, they were far to fragile and their lifespan only a heartbeat in comparison to his... It wasn't worth the pain and the heartache...

And, secondly, it were his brother's affairs not his, and he definitely didn't care whether Thor hurt that Midgardian woman of his or not. Loki really just wanted to prove to himself that he would have acted differently and was better than Thor in that regard _(like in so many others)_...

And that was what confused him so: His oaf of a brother did plan on courting that Midgardian woman of his, but hadn't however visited her once even though he could have...

That was, why Loki had such a hard time understanding Thor's motivation and feelings in all of this...

Did he love her or didn't he? Probably the first though he had a weird way of showing it. Was he hurting her deliberately or unawares? Probably the latter as he remembered his brother to not have an ounce of _perception_ in him... Concerning romance and showing or acknowledging romantic feelings he was for the most part a totally blind and blundering fool.

Loki remembered Sif pining after his brother since they started training together, hoping to catch his attention by showing him her skills and aptitude at combat and being his loyal friend, offering guidance and funny verbal spars, and him, on the other hand, being totally ignorant of it up to the present day, but instead taking any beautiful, blonde courtesan into his bed simply because she smiled and winked at him...

Loki sympathized with Sif a lot actually. As he had always seen a mirror of himself in her. He had also tried his best to excel, to please Odin and receive his love and acknowledgement only to be ignored and Thor earning his admiration and praise by doing nothing more than bashing in skulls and being an arrogant fool...

Plus there had been this short decade when he had fancied Sif, but of course she had only laughed at him and told him she was in love with Thor and would always be and could never even consider him... Yes, that had stung...

But he was over that now. There were after all more worthwhile and better things to strive for than _love_.

What he should really be concerning himself with was the more pressing matter of there now being to immensely powerful entities – two Infinity Stones – on Asgard...

Two of them, who happened to be a pair and shared a bond at that...

The Tesseract had made it apparent more than once that it wanted to find and reunite with the Aether. It didn't take a genius to figure that allowing those two stones to fuse together would not be a good idea...

So what was he to do? How could he possibly warn them all of the danger?

Eir!

Yes! The Head-healer and the closest thing to a confidant he had. Eir had always been the only one – next to Frigga – who had treated Loki and Thor equally (maybe even favoured him slightly over his brother). And when they had brought him into this cell and taken away the collar and cuffs, she had been send to tend to the raw flesh of where the shackles had chafed his skin and heal the bruises and broken ribs he had received from the Hulk's beating.

While she attended to him they were closely watched and guards would have been on him in seconds if he had tried anything.

But he wouldn't have. Not to Eir his only remaining friend. Oh yes, by coming to heal him and by her way of greeting he had known that she was still on his side and not casting him off that easily. She might have had a talk with Frigga or she might have decided to still trust him on her own account. Whatever the reason, she agreed to form a special kind of connection between the two of them that would allow him to contact her and use her as his eyes and ears in the palace as he could not leave nor project himself out of his cell.

He would make use of that connection now and maybe he would be able to reach through to her... The connection only allowed him to hear and see, nothing more. It was after all Eir's body and mind and he would not jeopardize her free will in this, when she had so graciously offered to assist him. He would not betray her trust and he would not let someone else feel what he had felt after realizing how the Tesseract and Thanos had used him...

" _Eir, I have need of your eyes and ears!"_ , Loki had lain down on his cot and closed his eyes before calling on Eir and reaching out to her mind, _"Please grand me access."_

Eir's voice echoed back into his mind: _"I grand you permission of my eyes and ears!"_

And with that the darkness faded and he was in the healing wing, tending to a patient. Well, now he only had to find out how to talk to her or send her his thoughts...

He was just about to shout something like _"Eir you need to listen to me"_ , when he heard her name being called by none other than his brother.

He – Eir – whirled around and greeted Thor warmly and playfully rebuked him as was her Eir-ish way.

Thor laughed and went along, but then turned serious and indicated the woman next to him: "Eir, meet Jane Foster of Midgard."

The Midgardian gave her a quick and shy smile, and a wave of her hand, offering her a "Hi". Eir scrutinized her from head to toe and Loki did with her. She was remarkably unremarkable. Yes, he had to admit she was kind of beautiful for a Midgardian and looked rather exotic with her dark brown hair and her huge eyes, which were just as dark – especially, compared to the blonde and light-brown haired majority of the Asgardians. But other than that she was as normal as can be and she looked not only pale but also thin and all the more like the stereotypical fragile human.

But Loki could see it there in her eyes and faintly beneath her skin, flowing through her veins – the Aether. He felt its vast powers rolling off the woman's body and was amazed by how well she held up for a supposedly meagre human. The Aether was also calling to him and beckoning to him. He felt all that even though he wasn't actually, physically there...

Did she feel the same? Did the Aether pick up on the Tesseract's presence, too? Now that it was so close by? Did she know what was going on at all? What she carried around inside her? Had the Aether talked to her like the Tesseract had to him? Had it offered her what the Space Gem had offered him? Was she as disgusted and shocked by it? Or was she totally unaware and ignorant of it all?

Loki was thrown from his thoughts as Eir looked back at Thor and the Midgardian went out of focus. He heard her reprimand Thor for bringing her here without informing the Allfather first, and Loki prayed that she would not send them away immediately, because he wanted to observe what the two of them already knew or suspected – that was probably why they had sought out Eir anyway.

Plus, Odin would find out about it sooner or later and he would not be pleased about Thor going behind his back and then he would, hopefully, send Jane off to Midgard again and the Aether would be gone from Asgard, too, and they would be safe and what the Tesseract had foretold or promised – it would not come to pass...

Loki still couldn't nor wouldn't acknowledge the Tesseract's promise and had cast his mother's weaving-vision to the back of his mind.

He would not get attached to a human! Especially not if it was the same one swooning after Thor and who Thor had decided to court, too. He would not cause more misery. Yes, part of him hated Thor still, but that anger hailed from jealousy and hurt pride and was ultimately to lay on Odin and his questionable upbringing of them.

Besides, it had mainly been the Tesseract that had fuelled this irrational hate and anger towards them both. So now that he had banned it from his mind and was able to fight against it, it could no longer as effectively agitate him.

Loki definitely still cared about Thor and his happiness – had never stopped caring, the Tesseract had just shoved those feelings down.

And Loki definitely didn't want to cause an even bigger friction between him and Thor. They were brothers. He would always consider Thor his brother... And betraying him, jeopardizing their bond and making Thor hate him was one of the things haunting Loki and adding to his self-loathing and -blaming...

So he prayed for Eir to not dismiss them... And he prayed to the Norns to make it possible for him to take care of the looming danger... and maybe through that earn his redemption somehow...

And Eir promised to help: "... I will examine her – after all, I can see that she is clearly dear to you..."

Eir cast the Midgardian a furtive glance again and Loki heard her tell them: "And, yes, I can also sense something strange about her... and it's drawn my interest, too. So come on then!"

Loki wondered whether Eir could truly feel the Aether or if she used that as an excuse to justify helping them. Maybe, just maybe, she had picked up on his feelings, while he partly shared her mind. But that would mean that Loki could in fact influence her and he did not want to go there...

Eir now began walking towards one of the consulting rooms. She turned back to Thor shortly, patting him on the shoulder and leading him on, while leaving the woman to trail behind them. He wasn't sure what Eir was opting for in secluding Jane, as he knew Eir to be an open-minded, unbiased person who didn't discriminate between and against different species and people...

But she was clearly making no move to include Jane in the conversation and Thor didn't either...

And Loki felt it again that _other_ power, though just a spark of it this time. It was the Aether. It was churning inside of Jane. He was feeling resentment, anger, outrage that wasn't his own and the Aether feeding on those feelings. He could feel that, too...

Either it was because of their – the Tesseract and Aether's – proximity, that had strengthened their bond so that he could now feel the Aether through the Tesseract's connection. Or it was because of the Aether inhabiting Jane and the Tesseract still having half of its claws in his mind that they had caused their bond to encroach on him and her, too...

He didn't want to think about what that latter theory, if proved to be true, would mean... He just hoped it wasn't, what was happening...

Eir saw Thor spin around and rush to Jane's side. She had stumbled due to the sudden burst of the Aether's power. She looked paler than before and so pathetically weak in that instant that Loki couldn't help but scoff. To think that the Tesseract had claimed her to be his other half! How laughable!

But his thoughts were shocked into silence when she dismissed Thor's gallant offer to carry her and insisted on being fine and able to walk on her own, casting Eir a look of defiance and stubborn determination to prove she wasn't weak at all. And though she looked at and saw Eir, he felt like she had looked directly at him...

It made her stubborn demeanour all the more impressive. He had to admire her for it. The Aether was clearly eating at her, but she vigorously held her ground.

He watched her go to and lie down on the Soul Forge and the look of utter delight and relaxation that passed over her face made him smile – despite himself. It also took some of the hard lines and pallor from her face and gave it a lovely rendering. He scowled at his own thoughts and mentally slapped himself. He was not going to find anything about her _lovely_ …

Then again he was allowed to objectively comment on beauty. It didn't mean anything after all.

"What is that..." , Jane's voice cut through his treacherous thoughts and made Eir look at her again.

Jane was fingering the projection of her body and looked deeply fascinated and excited about the Soul Forge.

It made him grin. Yes, she was right to be fascinated and amazed by it! After all, the Soul Forge had been his invention. Her appreciation for it made him brim with pride.

Not many Asgardians had shown that kind of appraisal for it when he had first introduced it although they now profited so much from it... Did anyone even remember that it had been him that had come up with the ideas and drafts? He doubted it...

But before anger could start to simmer in his gut again, that the Tesseract would surely pick up on, Jane dragged his attention back to her again.

"That's a quantum field generator, isn't it?", she inquired excitedly, while touching and examining the projection of her body that was levitating above her.

Loki scoffed. What did she think she knew about Asgardian technology and his inventions? Her race still didn't have the means to accomplish intergalactic travel nor the grasp for how it worked to begin with. Compared to Asgards and his vast knowledge she was a dumb human, limited in her imagination and resources. How could she possibly know nor dare to think to know what a Soul Forge was and how it worked? It had taken him years to think up the exact workings and design...

Telling Jane off, Eir seemed to support his thoughts or maybe... no that wasn't what was happening – he wasn't influencing and mixing his thoughts with hers... That wasn't possible...

Jane threw another scowl and angry look at Eir and fired back: "Does a soul forge transfer molecular energy from one place to another?"

Loki was totally baffled. How was that possible? How could she possibly know that? This human was not like any other... she was intellectually far more advanced then most of her kind, even more so than some Aesirs he dared to bet... Amazing...

How was it possible that Thor had stumbled across her? _Why not him?_ Did Thor even know how unique she was? Did he even appreciate her intellect at all? Or as she deserved?

Loki knew that Thor didn't understand much of anything that concerned magic or what humans called science and he recalled that Jane was a woman of science down on earth, that it was her _profession_... – So how was Thor to contribute to any conversation she might want to have with him about such things?

His musings were confirmed when he saw Jane excitedly show Thor that she understood Asgardian technology but Thor in lack of a suitable response only smiled at her and he knew that smile. It was the one he cast you when he didn't listen to or understood a word of what he'd been told. Loki had received that smile from him often, so had their politics and history teachers...

A spark of anger shortly flamed up inside of him before he quenched it again. Why was he angry at Thor – for being a fool? Why did he feel sorry for Jane – for having to put up with him? Why did he care whether it was unfair that Thor had got to meet her first?

He didn't want to meet or know her! No... That was pathetic! And stupid! And it was what the Tesseract wanted – not him! He was done being the Tesseract's plaything... It might show you your own personal truth, but it was also enjoying twisting and turning it around and against you...

Odin's old, rough voice suddenly boomed from across the room and Eir's head snapped around to it: "Are my words mere noises to you, that you ignore them completely?"

Thor began to justify his actions and Odin was quick to reprimand him, insulting Jane in the process: "She does not belong her on Asgard anymore than a goat belongs at a banquet table!" - Ouch! That was certainly a low blow...

Odin walked around the Soul Forge towards Eir, his face cold and indifferent. Loki hadn't seen him at all since their last talk where he had sentenced him to lifelong imprisonment and he couldn't say that he had missed him all that much nor felt happy to see him now either.

And he had to admit that Odin looked rather worn and tired, though he strongly doubted that it were worries for him that were nagging at him... But one could still dream for a caring father...

He looked at Jane then, to observe her reaction to Odin and his deprecating attitude and was utterly shocked and oddly pleased and excited to see and hear her round on Odin totally unaware of who he was and therefore unafraid to speak her mind.

But as she noticed the collective intakes of breath she also realized who she had just addressed so rudely and blushed and stammered to quickly play down the situation.

It was quite amusing to watch.

And it made a weird feeling rise up in him. Appreciation? Approval? Awe? He didn't know but it set his nerves on edge...

And, then, despite the tense situation Jane also had the gut to turn to Thor and excitedly blurt out: "You told your dad about me?"

Loki rolled his eyes. No, he hadn't. Odin was simply a well-informed man when it came to his precious, golden boy of a son...

Thor didn't look so thrilled himself about Jane's statement and simply turned towards Odin again, imploring him: "Something is within her, father! Something I have not seen before!"

But Odin wouldn't hear any more of it and bellowed, "Guards take her back to Midgard!"

Then he brusquely turned around, not sparing them all another glance, and strode to the door. The two men that had accompanied him were at the Soul Forge in an instant to take Jane away.

Loki knew what was about to happen. He felt the Aether's power build up and the Tesseract's gleeful and excited answering spark of power.

Then the guards touched her and that shock wave of the Aether's power send them flying towards the walls. It was actually quite magnificent to behold...

Where the Tesseract was all subtle and quiet, the Aether was overt, almost ostentatious and boisterous... He could see why these two fit together so well...

But Jane was definitely not fit to be the Aether's host... That last power surge had drained her thoroughly and she had sagged back against the Soul Forge and shortly lost consciousness, her breathing laboured.

How long could she possibly last? That power... it was not meant for her... She maybe had days before it consumed her and was done with her... And what then? The Aether would be free and ready to take its next host and if she was sent back to earth humanity would be doomed...

And she would be gone. This weird but highly interesting human being would be lost to the unbeknownst widths of the afterlife...

And Thor... yes, it must be Thor his heart went out for – if he lost her he would grief and Loki didn't want that, did he?

So he tested the connection that existed between him and the Aether, and therefore her, and tried out his hypothesis of whether the connection worked both ways. He concentrated hard on conjuring up soothing thoughts and feelings, a caressing gesture he remebered receiving from Frigga so often and which had calmed him when he had felt ill or had hurt himself... and he sent her some of his strength, too, to cope with the Aether's raw powers...

He wasn't sure whether that had actually worked or if she had just coincidentally been able to open her eyes that exact second, her breathing going back to normal and her skin getting some colour again. Well, he'd probably never know...

Odin had moved towards the Soul Forge again after the Aether's power had withdrawn and was now studying Jane's arm, revealing the deep-red essence of the Aether coursing through her veins: "That's impossible!" – so, he seemed to know what it was...

Eir stepped towards the Soul Forge again, too, staring at Jane for an instant before turning to Odin: "The... _infection_ – it's defending her..." - oh Eir, if only you knew...

Thor interjected: "No. It's defending itself..."

Loki was impressed. Of course that wasn't the whole truth, not nearly, but for Thor to show even that much _perception_ was a feat, he had to acknowledge that.

"You need to come with me", Odin brusquely ordered Jane and Thor then and strode to the door.

Thor helped Jane up and off the Soul Forge, keeping his hand on her upper arm to steady her.

A twinge of anger went through Loki at the gesture, and when Jane, again, refused to be carried by Thor, glee and satisfaction took over. Unbidden. Loki scolded himself for his absurd feelings... What was wrong with him...

"Thank you for helping us... or _me_ ", Jane bid Eir goodbye.

Loki took in her features one last time - who knew when he was going to see her again? -And why did he care? What did it matter? - Norns above he seriously had to get a grip!

Eir replied: "A pleasure!" - well, it had certainly been quite the show – "Fare you well for now, Jane Foster..."

And that was also Loki's cue to go. He sent his prayers out again – especially to Eir – to offer his thanks and then cut the connection: _"Close your eyes, close your ears to me. Their use has been fulfilled."_

Loki opened his eyes and found the same old, white ceiling of his prison cell staring back at him. He sighed. Then he lay there for several minutes reflecting on all that he had just witnessed.

He couldn't believe how easily he had been swayed by that infuriating Midgardian!

What the Tesseract had shown him two years ago... He so didn't need that! He didn't need someone to talk to, someone to complement him, someone to take away the loneliness... What foolish notions! He was fine on his own! And he wasn't lonely... Especially not lonely enough that he would consider befriending a Midgardian woman...

Besides, until he was (possibly) set free from this cell the Aether would long have killed her and even without it consuming her, she would be dead three millennia sooner than that...

And even the off chance of him being released within the next decade would change nothing...

Because, the other more immediate and most obvious reason standing in the way in all these scenarios was that she was ultimately, undeniably Thor's!

It made even thinking about the possibility foolish and the height of stupidity!

He groaned. Damn these treacherous thoughts... And damn the Tesseract period!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters (just in case you thought so^^)

Sorry my dear readers for the long wait... I won't spin long excuses, but the last weeks have been stressful and the coming ones will be to! I honestly try my best, believe me, but writing takes its time and I want it to be good :D

Enjoy!

* * *

" _Hello Jane!"_

Jane rose out of the water with a start and nearly slipped on the steps in her haste. Her heart was thumping wildly and she feared that it would break through her ribcage. She had wildly searched the room for the voice – even though she already knew that she wouldn't find a person in here with her...

 _The Aether send soothing heat waves through her body and Jane couldn't help it – her body instantly relaxed: "Oh, my dear, no need to be scared! It's just me! Well, you finally remembered again – I was wondering whether you really would..."_

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!", she cried out and then clapped her hand on her mouth. She had accidentally not only thought it but also cried out. She cast a look to the doors but no one came rushing in.

" _I am afraid I won't do that! You've still got a job to do for me!" the Aether told her and she could feel its indignation and exasperation at her stubbornness, "I don't see why you are so reluctant to help me anyway! Giving me what I want will ultimately result in you being free from me! And you will have so much more to gain! Besides you haven't had any qualms about it before remembering..."_

"I have a hard time believing that... And somehow I also have a bad feeling about that thing you want to find and what happens if you do..." Jane contradicted.

 _The Aether sighed:"You really do drive a hard bargain... Well, then I will be honest: I want to find the Tesseract. It's here on Asgard and we are bonded. We are each others missing piece and we need to reunite. It's been calling me for a very long time but as I've been imprisoned I couldn't reach out to it... until now..."_

"So what you're telling me is that you and the Tesseract are sort of connected? That you're basically like soulmates? Then what happens if you reunite? After witnessing the powers of the Tesseract in New York I can assume it's a massive power source – just as you seem to be – so forgive me for being a bit concerned about what bringing the two of you together could cause... For all I know it could be equal to a nuclear explosion..."

" _I figured that you wouldn't be easy to convince... And I know I don't seem trustworthy, but believe it or not, uniting me with the Tesseract will be for the best!" the Aether insisted._

Jane still wasn't convinced: "Then why were you kept apart in the first place? Or divided?"

 _The Aether sighed again and if it could have she was sure it would have rubbed his forehead in exasperation: "You're quite curious and probing for such a small creature... then again I noticed your mind was broader than that of most beings when I fused with you, which certainly has let you survive this far..._

 _To assuage your insufferable thirst for knowledge let me break it down like this: The Tesseract and I, and our 4 siblings used to be one entity until the universe or fate or whoever decided it to be a good idea to cleave us apart and discard us all over the universe...leaving us to the whims of all the foul creatures roaming it, all the while trying our best to find each other, especially our chosen half, again... And now after so long I am finally close!"_

Jane didn't know what to think about that story. Yes, a part of her pitied and sympathized with the Aether. But she was also still suspicious and didn't believe for a second that fusing Tesseract and Aether wouldn't have consequences... So she would not allow it to reach its goal. Whatever the cost.

" _You know, I actually wanted to avoid this... But, well, you leave me no choice..."_

Jane wanted to ask what it possibly had in mind, when it came back to her... It had threatened her before to do it... to use her...

The realization struck her the same time her feet suddenly moved on their own accord, lifting her out of the bathtub and over to the partition. Try as she might she couldn't get her feet to stop nor her arms and hands, which were quickly drying her off and putting on her new clothes.

Asgardian attire – a blue tunic with gold shoulder-plates and ornaments woven into the material. It was quite a large dress and the long skirt of it was something to get used to for someone who preferred pants.

Despite the clothes and the rather warm climate on Asgard Jane was frozen to the core...

She couldn't even cry out in frustration nor, therefore, alert someone to her dire state. The Aether had assumed complete control of her!

And then she was already walking out of the bathroom and through the doors of her chambers into the hallway. Two guards were positioned at her door who turned towards her at her emerging out of the room.

"Miss, we were instructed not to let you leave your chambers until Thor or the queen send for you! We must ask you to go back into your room therefore!", one of the guards told her – but she could see that he kept his distance – word must have travelled...

She felt the corners of her mouth lift into a smile: "I'd like to see Thor now if you don't mind. Surely one of you could lead me to him?"

The guard remained steadfast: "I'm afraid that won't be possible. Please step back into your room, Miss."

"You know you can't force me...", she said sweetly – no the Aether – it wasn't her! – "That thing inside of me? It will lash out... The other two guards that came to witness it took quite a brunt from it... Do you really want to see – or rather feel – it for yourself?"

She didn't recognize her voice nor attitude – that she could sound like that completely shocked her! That wasn't her! They must see or realize that!

The guard scowled at her: "I doubt that you would risk it – we also were informed that it takes its toll..."

Aether-Jane sighed: "Yes, sadly so... But even though: If it _were_ to lash out and to weaken me further, Thor would most certainly not be pleased... and you wouldn't want to face his wrath now, would you?"

The guard considered her then and exchanged looks with the other guard, before they came to a silent agreement: "Very well. Follow me." – he told her gruffly and then began to walk along the corridor.

Jane's feet set off to follow him.

They walked in silence. The guard not really inclined to talk to her – just the Asgardian kind of behaviour she had come to expect towards Midgardians (or any non-Asgardians). And the Aether also didn't feel like striking up a conversation. It was busy scheming and sending out subtle power-pulses – searching – or detecting...

The path they followed seemed to actually lead to where the Aether wanted to go.

But what if it wouldn't any more? Would it strike out at the guard and keep on following it or would the Aether bide its time?

It seemed to be in rather a hurry... either because it didn't want to bide its time, because it was too impatient, or because it couldn't any longer because, well, her time as its host was limited...

Again she felt remarkably calm about that latter fact... It must be the Aether's overpowering presence numbing her senses and any rational thoughts... she couldn't even bring up enough anger to be upset about it or about her body being controlled against her will...

And then they were heading for a door that the Aether's detection spell – or whatever – had also picked up on. But the guard was about to make a left turn.

The Aether suddenly spoke up and boldly inquired through her: "Where does that door lead to?"

The guard stopped, startled at her sudden question and then frowned, looking from her to the door and back again: "I don't see why you would need to know that. It is not of concern to our route anyway..."

"Just curiosity – a simple question to which I just wanted a simple answer... You don't need to get all offended!" the Aether rolled her eyes.

The guard still looked unconvinced of her motives and slightly suspicious, but he decided to give her an answer nevertheless: "Well... it leads to the lower levels, which contain a good many things. The barracks, the treasure's and weapon's vault – all the places a Midgardian certainly is not allowed to set her foot in and couldn't anyway – most of the protection spells would likely kill you...

Well, and there's also the prison. – But trust me you definitely don't want to go there..."

He said all of this ominously, probably hoping to frighten her (which he didn't), and, then, suddenly and out of nowhere he began to chuckle: "Although, with that strange and mighty power of yours, I would certainly pay good money to see you go at Loki! Just to see you throw him around like a rag doll, too!"

"A Prison? Just below the royal palace? And near the treasure vault? Isn't that kind of dangerous? Especially, when it comes to _Loki_...", Aether-Jane shuddered – of course all of it an act, "And what do you have against him anyway?"

"Well, like I said it's all pretty well guarded: First of all, most of the guards are stationed here in the barracks. Plus, there are barriers that contain the prisoners – open from the outside but barred from the inside, so they can't attack you, but you can discipline them perfectly well if the need arises", he explained to her matter-of-factly, "As for what my quarrel is with Loki? Well, that question is certainly rich, coming from you, Midgardian.

Didn't he wreck havoc on one of your cities and caused quite the destruction? He is utterly insane... not to forget his aptitude at magic, lies and deceit... He hasn't earned himself the title Trickster and Silver-tongue for nothing! And to think that he used to be eligible for the throne... By the norns!"

"That is actually what bothers me", Jane frowned …. no … the Aether …, "What do you think of earth – Midgard, I mean? And Midgardians?"

He wasn't given the opportunity to answer, the Aether answered for him.

"Yes, I thought so. Seriously, you are all so ridiculously stuck-up! You all seem to regard us Midgardians as ants and definitely not as your equals …

So why then bother or care about Loki destroying our planet and killing a few Midgardians? After all we are a weak and inferior species, definitely of no concern to Odin or the rest of you Asgardians...

Why then sentence him to life-long imprisonment when you could simply have told him off and be done with it? We Midgardians would certainly never have known one way or another as you rather keep your distance...

And don't you realize that if Loki had been successful, Asgard would have gained a new colony to reign over? That should have pleased you! After all you could have shown us meagre Midgardians just what a mighty and glorious people you are!

And now that I am getting a closer look at Asgard I can imagine that in your court lying and deceiving is probably second nature, too, so that can't be called a valid reason to inculpate Loki either... It really makes me wonder..."

Jane actually found the Aether's reasoning quite sound. Of course, _she herself_ had thought the lifelong imprisonment to be just, when Thor had told her about it. – But she was Midgardian. She had a whole different outlook on the entire matter, namely the victim's one.

But the Asgardians? They had no reason to feel sorry for earth and the many killed humans... especially since Odin didn't strike her as the righteous and benevolent king defending human interests...

The only one who could have felt the magnitude of Loki's actions, would have been Thor. But after listening to him talk about Loki, all the while looking truly sad and seeming to regard the punishment as too harsh, Jane couldn't imagine that he had suggested it. He might not even have had a say in it at all, she suspected. And good-hearted and lovely Frigga? No, never.

That left only Odin... And wasn't he Loki's father, too?

It didn't make any sense! Why the severe punishment? What did Loki really do to deserve it? Or did Odin maybe scheme something? Was it some sort of farce and pretence he needed as a set-up for something else? But what could possible warrant treating his own son – and an Asgardian – in such a way? Jane was utterly confused...

The guard had been struck speechless, too, and was trying hard to come up with a good retort, but couldn't think of anything.

He was spared the embarrassment by Thor approaching from their left, where the guard had been originally headed: "Jane! I was just on my way to get you!" – he smiled at her, relieved to see her well and refreshed, but then he frowned, "But what are you doing wandering about? You should have stayed in your chambers until someone came to fetch you..."

Now it was her turn to frown: "I am sorry – I didn't realize I was a prisoner restrained to my room now... I was just finished with my bath and didn't want to sit around and bore myself to death until someone would eventually come by...

So, I thought that I could also just let myself be brought to you... Besides, it seems to have been the perfect timing anyway, as you are here now and, besides, I have left my room just mere minutes ago..."

Jane didn't know why she even went to such lengths to justify her actions. She was a free woman! And she was not here to cause any trouble... not least because that would mean endangering her own life...

How insulting for Thor or Frigga to even think that she would... Or it might have most likely been Odin's orders... which were rather questionable and tainted by his biased, hateful attitude towards her anyway...

But even though Thor might not have ordered it, it still bothered her that he sounded as if he was ok with it and actually thought that she might stir up trouble... Her gut churned.

"Well, of course you are not a prisoner, Jane! It was only a precaution... You certainly do not want the Aether to be triggered by something again, do you?" Thor reasoned with her and then sighed, "But let's not argue and tarry... Frigga would really like to properly get to know you and has invited you to dine with her!"

Jane forced a smile: "Of course! I'm starving anyway... Lead the way!"

She took the arm Thor offered her and together they walked down the corridor. Jane cast a last glance back towards the door that beckoned for her to go through it and follow her real destination, but she had to stay inconspicuous – Thor couldn't know.

So, she masked her backwards glance by waving the guard goodbye who had remained behind and stared at her piercingly. She might have been a bit impulsive with him back there... She could just hope that he would forget about it again or would discard his doubts and worries – she was after all an insignificant human being. _For once this vessel proved to have its advantages..._

Vessel? … Body! – My body … _my_ … Jane felt like plunging into ice-cold water. For a second everything came back into focus and she was acutely aware of her surroundings, of her thoughts and every tiny sensation and feeling. And she realized that only now was she _awake_ and master of her own body again where before she had been pliant to the Aether's every influence!

But just like that, the bit of regained control began slipping through her fingers again and her thoughts became muddled by the Aether's power once more.

Thor's hand was at her waist, holding her up, she had stumbled while this inner fight for control had taken place: "Jane? Are you alright?"

"Yes, just a little dizzy – I haven't had anything to drink or eat since London..." , Aether-Jane was quick to reassure him and found her footing again.

Thor loosened his hold but kept one arm around her in case she slipped again.

Just then a massive shudder reverberated through the whole building. And it was enough to bring her back to awareness for good and help her fight the Aether with every fibre of her being. But she couldn't tell Thor what had happened, what she'd learned, because not a second later Frigga and the healer that had examined her – Eir – where running towards them while guards suddenly rushed for the lower levels.

"Quickly! There has been an attack! And Heimdall spotted a foreign ship... _Dark Elves_ ", Frigga informed them, her expression grave, "I will take Jane to my chambers and keep her safe! You should head to the dungeons! Something happened down there..."

Thor only nodded at his mother, then gave Jane's shoulder a soft squeeze and made to storm down to the dungeons.

"And Thor?", Frigga halted him, a hand on his upper arm, concern in her eyes, "Please make sure... make sure he's alright!"

Thor gave her a long look and then nodded again and disappeared. Frigga turned towards her and gave her a small, reassuring smile.

"They will take care of it – whatever happened...We will be safe! Now quick follow me!"

Frigga led them down a log corridor and then up several steps into one of the towers. Jane followed without question. And she didn't complain when Frigga, after entering the huge bedchamber, led her to an adjacent room and motioned for her to get into it.

It was small and empty for all but the circular stone basin in the middle of the room and two huge windows with broad windowsills embedded into the wall so that you could sit on them and have a halfway panoramic view of the bustling city and the far off sea below.

Jane turned around just as Frigga shut the door signalling her one last time to be quiet.

Jane resisted from trying the door and pounding against it. It would do no good. She somehow knew Frigga had sealed it shut and that it wouldn't budge. And she wasn't about to waste precious energy on re-opening it. She was already spent and running on pure human adrenaline...

Plus she didn't want to risk the Aether gaining control over her again. It was still a shock that she'd managed to shake of its control at all... And she didn't know how long it would last...

It scared her... and it made her restless.

And being cooped up in here wasn't actually helping. It only made her more restless. Because she didn't know what was going on and she felt like a coward for covering and hiding in here, even though she would be able to help them now with the Aether's raw power... One good blast and she could take out some of the Dark Elves... It would drain her. Maybe kill her. It would definitely cost her every ounce of control she had regained... But she could safe Thor and Frigga... It would be worth it...

Instead Thor and the rest of the soldiers – and even Frigga and Eir – were now fighting the Dark Elves alone...

… that had suddenly attacked them out of nowhere.

Thor had been right all along: A few had indeed survived!

Odin should have listened... This wouldn't be happening if Odin had only listened and not just stubbornly dismissed Thor's concerns... Well, ok, maybe it would have happened nevertheless, as the Aether would have still been here with her and they were obviously after it, but, at least, they would have been better prepared... would have been ready...

Its immense power must have been sending off signals ever since it had consumed her and left its cage. She couldn't see how else they had been able to pick up on it and follow it here... why they chose to attack Asgard now after all this time... while she was here... Really every evidence was pointing towards the Aether...

And she had brought it here... She caused this... If she hadn't wandered off in that warehouse... if she had just staid with Dan on that pointless date instead of following Darcy... if her damned curiosity hadn't gotten the better of her...

 _Still... it could have been earth..._

A treacherous, small part of her whispered. And she couldn't deny the rush of relief she felt for it being Asgard that was attacked. Earth would have been doomed. Loki's attack might have been nothing against the might of the Dark Elves. Frigga had certainly looked frightened enough to suggest so... And she was genuinely concerned for Loki down in the dungeons... so if she thought he couldn't defend himself then the Dark Elves had to be bad...

Gosh! She would never make it out of here alive!

Jane groaned in frustration and leaned against the washbasin. To have something to do. Maybe in the hopes of finding cold water to splash on her face and somehow escape or wake up from this nightmare...

But there was no cold water to be found in it...

No. Instead something sprang to life in front of her, above the basin. It was a mirage? A hologram? A projection?

Whatever it was, it had a 3D rendering and was super realistic. Way more advanced than anything they were as of now able to do on earth. And there were no cables, no power source, no beamer, no nothing that could be projecting it!

Honestly it wasn't much what she could see – just an empty cot, a table with books on it and farther off some sort of golden veil. But the fact that it was there! That it just popped up out of nowhere was truly astonishing and mind-boggling for a scientist such as her.

Even now with chaos and threat of death all around her, Jane couldn't stop herself from wanting to examine the stone basin and find out its workings. Which said an awful lot about her...

She bit her lip and shook her head to get a grip and she was about to turn away from the basin and leave it be, when a man entered the scene. She only saw his back, his hands clasped on it and black hair falling down a little past his shoulders. There was no mistaking who that was...

Loki. Thor's brother.

Why was he here? In this projection? Why did this visual of him of all people pop up? Was this even just a visual? Or was it possible that it equalled Skype?

In which case... there was a chance he could see and hear her! She ducked down and only watched him over the brim of the basin. Better not test her luck – even if she looked ridiculous.

But he didn't turn around. He was staring at something that was happening outside of that sort of golden or at least shimmering veil... There was some kind of commotion. She couldn't clearly make it out but there were dark blurs moving to and fro.

But then something stopped. And Jane focused. And she got a glimpse of the most hideous creature ever. It looked... well... it had a human body... but its head and face... it was grotesque... the only thing that came to her mind was _Minotaur_ which was probably the best description...

And it was staring at Loki and Loki at it and then it turned away and was abut to leave the scene, but Loki must have said something because it turned towards him once again and gave him a long look before taking off for real.

She didn't understand what that all had been about. But Loki interacting with that creature? It somehow didn't sit well in her stomach...

But it wasn't really because of her lack of trust in him and her fear that he might have been up to something concerning that thing... no... she actually felt sick, because a violent bout of fear had taken a hold of her just then...

 _The Tesseract knows what's going on – it fears for me._

The Aether's voice was suddenly back and Jane jumped up in surprise – throwing caution and her skype-theory to the wind.

 _You are surely a feisty being, shutting me out like that and for so long! Consider me impressed! Oh and don't worry I will not take control of you again... just y_ et..."

Jane held her breath and waited. The Aether held true to its word. Still she didn't dare move a muscle or think a thing in case it suddenly decided otherwise.

Which was her mistake because frozen in her spot she was in just the right position to fully face the basin and Loki. Who turned around just then...

And stared at her. Not through her. At her.

Where before his face had been tight with concern it now turned to shock, then incredulity and finally equalled one of sudden, horrible realization. He took a step towards her. And she stumbled back – even though he was just a projection and couldn't – or shouldn't be able to walk past the edges of the basin's surface and therefore wouldn't (or shouldn't) get anywhere near her... and she stumbled even though the part of her that was very much the Aether actually compelled her to step closer... whatever for she could only guess...

Luckily the projection faded and he vanished. Probably because of the distance between her and the basin – some kind of touch or heat mechanism, she guessed. But before it did, she had seen Loki stop in his tracks and say something to her... one word. Or he rather mouthed it as she couldn't hear it...

Her name. _Jane._

How? How did he know her name? Or who she was?

Ok, as Thor's brother – and as far as godly siblings' equalled human siblings' relation – he could have heard of her through Thor. But that explained him knowing her name, not what she looked like...

Or maybe he hadn't called her, but said it _to_ her. Like a request, an order – to _find_ her. She looked like any Asgardian in that new attire of hers, for all he knew down in his dungeon cell.

It was highly plausible...

But the way he had looked at her... the way his lips had formed her name... It wasn't pleading or demanding... he hadn't seemed to urge her to _find someone_... no... it was _recognition_...

And, yes, now that she thought about it he had seemed surprised to see her and there had been disbelief on his face... though technically he could have reacted the same way about any other random person stumbling over the basin and starting up this weird connection thus probably appearing out of nowhere in his cell as he had in this room...

Still, she somehow knew he had meant her. And the Aether send confirming tingles through her nerves.

And she didn't know how to feel about the fact that Loki did not only know her name but also what she looked like... She had to talk to Thor as soon as this was over...

But her name hadn't been the only thing on his lips. He had been about to say something else. But his image had faded before she could properly make it out...

Maybe a warning? Run? Escape? A warning only to her? Or all of them, for her to deliver?

Had he been about to inform her about whatever had happened down in the dungeons and about that creature?

But then again it was Loki... He was imprisoned down there by his father – by Asgard. Why would he warn her or them? And he had been talking to that creature calmly, well, at least he had told it something. And he didn't seem too shocked or frightened by whatever was occurring down there... so by all means he looked like he was in on any scheme that had been set into motion and therefore warning her or the Asgardians seemed out of the question.

Wasn't he the liar? The deceiver and the trickster? It would fit his profile and he would definitely have an agenda against Asgard after is imprisonment...

But his demeanour could also mean the complete opposite: He could be scheming with the enemy but all the while deceiving the creature in order to then help Asgard, which would make his warning sincere or whatever he had been about to say would have been him explaining the situation...

It was maddening! This reasoning...

There was only one way to find out... Either she would head face-first into her doom now or she would be able to try and help as many people as she could.

It wasn't much of a choice. Especially since the Aether reassured her that Loki was on their side. Though she wasn't sure why exactly she even trusted its opinion... Then again it still hadn't taken control of her again – that had to count for something.

So, she spun around and ran for the door, aiming to blast through it either by sheer force or by compelling the Aether to shatter it. But just as she was about to yank back the doorknob, just as she perceived the clashing of swords and grunts, the Aether slithered through her veins and made her muscles stop, freezing her in place.

" _No! You can't go out there!" it told her as way of an explanation for why it had suddenly taken hold again._

"What? Why not? Whoever it is – I … You could fend them off!" she reasoned, infuriated.

 _The Aether remained firm: "No. – It is too late! The Dark Elves are here and they know my power and how to wield and shape it. They did so before my imprisonment. They would extract my essence from you and then use me themselves... killing everyone in this universe..._

 _And I find that I quite like you as my host... Not least because you've brought me so close to the Tesseract and I will not be taken away from it again! So, let's make a deal: For however long you will last as my host, I will keep you from being killed and I will not control you again. In exchange you stay quiet now... and once this is over you find me the Tesseract!"_

Jane wanted to protest, to barge into the room and try to attack the Dark Elves as best she could, to help Frigga. But the Aether kept her in place and another half of her also couldn't really argue with its reasoning.

Regaining and keeping her free will was a pretty damn good incentive for cooperating with the Aether and she also wasn't eager to die right now and had to admit that she was more of a coward, still. Plus, she felt the Aether's fear of the Dark Elves and its reluctance to offer and strike this bargain in the first place, so she could be certain it was sincere about it.

And if she struck that deal she could still, when the time came to go for the Tesseract, think up some way around it... There always was a way...

"Alright," she thought, "We have a deal..."

Even though, her gut churned. And the idea of hiding and biding her time while Frigga and the guards were clearly fighting just outside this door didn't sit well with her and every cell of her body urged her to help to do something... To show them that she was not a meagre human being... nor a coward...

Though, in the end, she had to agree with the Aether that she wouldn't be able to hold her ground for long and that they would probably finish her off in a heartbeat... Staying here and keeping the Aether away from the Dark Elves was clearly the best thing she could do and by doing that she was helping a great deal if the Aether's claim was to be believed... about the Dark Elves wanting to kill everyone with its powers...

Her rapid thoughts abruptly came to a stop when an ear-shattering, heart-wrenching roar reached her ears from the outer chamber accompanied by the sound of stone cracking and vases shattering and the tang of ozone and static energy in the air that made the hair on her neck rise.

It was Thor.

And the sound of that roar... it didn't bode well...

Jane threw caution and the Aether's warning to the wind and yanked on the doorknob. The door opened instantly and gave way much more easily than she had anticipated. So she nearly lost her balance and fell and had to catch herself on the door-frame awkwardly.

But no one paid her any heed and after a second she realized what held everyone's attention.

On the small steps that led up to the balcony Thor was standing, arms hanging slack at his sides, Mjolnir dangling limp and lifeless from his hand, looking dazedly at something in front of the big bed.

Two guards stared in the same direction, shock and sorrow on both their faces.

Jane slowly stepped closer, dreading what she would find.

In front of the huge bed, and the dais that led up to the balcony knelt Odin.

And in his arms he held Frigga. Her eyes were closed, her lovely face ashen. Only unconscious... not dead... not dead...

But then she saw the blood on her tunic below her chest. So much blood. And her chest wasn't rising.

Frigga – lovely, amiable, Frigga, who had immediately welcomed her with open arms and warm smiles – was dead. The bright light that was her soul extinguished forever. It seemed unreal.

A goddess – Thor's mother … gone. Just like that.

Thor looked as if he didn't trust what he was seeing either. The shock even worse for him, she knew that.

And the mighty Allfather Odin? He was on his knees, cradling her, every line of his face showing desperation and grief. His eyes looking at no one and nothing.

Until he noticed her. His eyes found her.

Utter hatred was what she found in them. Utter contempt and rage.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters 8just in case you thought so^^)

* * *

He noticed the bursts of energy and the tendrils of magic first, before he heard the shouting and screams and soon afterwards felt the quake of an explosion somewhere in the dungeon.

He got up from his cot, his illusion vanishing at the same time so that no one except him noticed the subtle transition.

Oh, how he loved his magic, his illusions! A shame, no one else regarded it an art like he did. Not even Frigga had thought of it as such. He remembered her reprimanding him once...

" _Cast enough illusions and you risk forgetting what is real!"_

As if reality was to be preferred... as if illusions were only a pastime … only a small triviality in the whole array of things one could conjure with magic...

But to him the mimicking or distortion of reality was beautiful. Forgetting reality, escaping it, shaping it anew, creating, even fixing it – that was precisely what he liked to do by casting illusions. The former especially now during the long, dull and lonely hours of his imprisonment... and because it was the only magic he was still capable of casting in the magical restraints of this cell.

Which was why he was quite surprised to have felt the ripple of magic just now. It shouldn't have gotten past the wards.

Then again that sort of magic... it had felt strange... foreign... and old. Not from Asgard. Not from Alfheim...

He tried to see where the commotion was coming from, but his cell was to far away and tugged in a corner. But he didn't have to wait long for the first guards to come rushing past his cell towards the explosion site that really had been located right here in the dungeons. Interesting.

Not so much longer after that fellow inmates were suddenly rushing past his cell. Now this was truly terrific. A prison break. And no one had invited him... thus far...

And then it appeared. That something where the foreign magic emanated from. It was a horrific creature. All horns and tusks, massive and broad-shouldered. A Kurse – a Dark Elf that, so to speak, underwent an upgrade. Powerful and definitely more deadly than a mere Dark Elf...

Dark Elves... the former inhabitants of Svartalfheim. One of the oldest species in the nine realms, even predating Asgardians... the one race that was said to have been extinct by Bor and his Asgardian army in the last great war 5,000 years ago... 4,000 years before he had even been born...

It seemed some of them had survived... Loki honestly wasn't surprised. He might have even suspected it during his travels throughout the nine realms. When he had discovered that secret pathway to Svartalfheim...

But what was it doing here?

How it got in unnoticed wasn't so difficult to answer seeing that everyone thought them dead and didn't expect one to just pop up and get itself arrested...

The _why_ though... Oh no, that was easy, too: It must be the Aether. Such raw power and Jane carelessly flinging it around must have send out some kind of signal that they picked up on - as the last owners of the Aether they were of course familiar with it... And now they wanted it back.

He had to do something.

There was no time to contact Eir. If the Kurse released all the prisoners to wrack havoc and cause a distraction he had to make sure he was let in on it, too. As soon as he was out of this cell all magic would be open to him and he could take out the Kurse and stop the worst from happening.

But to do that he had to act quickly and he had to be cunning. And he had to play. Illusions and deceit his mastery. And he had just the idea...

It was a risky game. Then again, all his schemes were risky. But this one – and the possible consequences scared him the most. It was a game with so many variables, where so much depended on coincidence, luck and the right assessment of person and situation.

Usually he liked those kind of games – it made for a challenge – a special thrill. But not if the life of people he cared about was on the line. First and foremost Frigga's.

Thor could hold his ground, so he didn't need to worry on his account. And Odin... Loki was still so angry at him that he couldn't bring himself to care... only in the regard that his death would cause his mother pain and he didn't want that...

And, yes, he couldn't deny that he was also worried for that mortal. He tried to reason that it was because she held the Aether's power and if the creature were to get to her it would take it from her and then they would all be doomed. So, yes, of course it was essential that she be kept safe and out of its way...

With all these thoughts and feelings rushing through his head and worry gnawing at him, it was very difficult to put on the indifferent, haughty mask of the Trickster-self so many Asgardians mistook him for, show a faux-delightful smile and stay calm, when the creature paused in front of his cell.

He subtly inclined his head in greeting and acknowledgement – one magic-wielder to the other, one prisoner to the other.

But Loki knew it would take more than that to convince it to set him free. Even before it turned away to head to the prison exit.

Loki had a split second to decide what to say. And he had to consider several responses the creature might opt for after the _advice_ he was about to give it.

Either it would immediately trust him, take his word for it and go.

Or it thought it was a set-up, that would lead it directly to the arms of the Asgardian soldiers, and would therefore dismiss it.

In both cases Loki would be left behind...

Unless it did only semi-trust him. Which means: take his word, but free him from his cell to lead the way and kill him if he didn't hold true to his word or outlived his usefulness.

Loki counted on the creature to make the last choice.

It certainly seemed to be a smart creature. Especially considering that it was a Dark Elf – who used to be immensely powerful and cunning beings.

So, the creature should be able to guess who he was or should have realized it by now if it had been eavesdropping on the other inmates' chatter and noticed his special treatment or the quite fancy cell he was in all alone, compared to the others'...

And in knowing that Loki was obviously royal, or of noble blood at least, it could either make it regard him as foe. Which was probably also why it hadn't released him from his cell like the other convicts right away.

But seeing that he was still as much a prisoner as everyone else, it could think he likely held a grudge against Asgard and whoever put him in here nevertheless, which would then make Loki his potential ally. And that would explain why he was offering the advice to it and that should make the offer seem genuine. For why should he help if he still held loyalty to Asgard?

And of course Loki also had to consider that it likely matched his cunning and could realize that he was scheming, only pretending to be its ally and planning revenge on Asgard when in truth he was still loyal and only wanted to gain its trust to be let out...

But time was up. He had to gamble. And hope he got lucky.

"You might want to take the stairs to the left", Loki told the creature with that mischievous smile – hoping he looked convincing and trustworthy enough to a creature such as this.

Cunning. Deceit. Pretending to be the villain. But he would always defend Asgard as long as Frigga was here to protect. That was his true intention while offering the advice.

The creature knew that too. It walked away. Leaving him behind.

And he had just offered him some truthful directions... By the norns!

He prayed it thought it was part of his scheme, too, and not valid information.

But the Norns were not benevolent today. The Kurse headed left.

Loki cursed and spun around. He had to contact Eir and hope she would get the message...

He froze in his tracks. Behind his bed an apparition had appeared. But it wasn't Frigga. It was Jane!

How was she here?

The only explanation was the projector in Frigga's chambers. The one she usually used to contact him here in his cell... And if Jane was using that... she had to be in that chamber and Frigga had to be there, too! She could warn the others! He had to tell her. They had to get away from that part of the palace...

"Jane!", he called out to her and stepped closer, which was the wrong thing to do because in answer she stumbled back and away from him.

He couldn't blame her. To her he was the psychopath and murderer that had tried to conquer earth. Of course she didn't want to be anywhere near him nor did she trust him. Which made their predicament with the Tesseract and Aether using them all the funnier... It would never work in their favour...

So he tried the unthreatening, soothing approach and stopped coming closer and just started explaining: "Run! Warn the oth..."

But her projection faded before he could utter one coherent sentence. Today he clearly wasn't favoured by the Norns... He cursed soundly and began to walk up and down his cell. Then he remembered Eir again. He tried to share her mind, her eyes. But she didn't answer. She didn't let him in. He argued with himself that it didn't mean anything. That she was just busy evakuating the healing ward or hiding or fighting and therefore couldn't open up the connection. He refused to consider that she could be dead.

Now he could only trust Jane to have gotten his meaning somehow and warned at least Frigga. And his mother knew what to do. And Thor might be there, too. Where Jane was, Thor wasn't far away. And he would do what Thor did best: Smash in heads and strike foes down with his lightning.

But as if his thoughts had summoned him here, Loki noticed the static energy and the ozone in the air and saw the flash of lightning in the periphery of his vision. Thor was down here fighting the escaped convicts!

But the Kurse – it had long since vanished to the upper levels of the palace... Thor must realize this was a trap! A diversion! Then Loki remembered that Thor sometimes was a bit slow on the uptake...

"Thor!" Loki bellowed, "Thor, by the Norns, this is a diversion you oaf!"

Then he saw Thor at the end of the hallway battling four Dark Elves and two prisoners at the same time. He still managed to cast a weary but considering look his way and Loki pointed up and to the eastern part of the palace.

"Go! Get to Frigga now! Hurry!", he shouted and Thor didn't question his order. He spun around while swinging Mjolnir and knocked out his 6 opponents in an instant before he flew off without a backwards glance at him.

After not having seen Thor for a year and after the way they had left matters between them, Loki was glad Thor trusted him enough to follow this one simple order. If only because he knew what Frigga meant to him, that she was and always would be their common ground.

And now he could only sit back and wait and hope.

Hope that Thor handled the situation. That the Asgardian soldiers held their ground. That Odin would find a way to drive them back. And most of all, that Frigga... and Jane... stayed safe and survived...


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry guys... am still dealing with writer's block and am just randomly writing down anything that comes to my mind at the moment resulting in many not-coherent/related scenes and sequences... plus my own books and Uni are keeping me busy as well...

BUT i managed to write a sort of Prequel/Prologue to this story with the title:

"What really happened in the throne room..."

(wanted to post the link but it is not keeping it or depicting it properly...)

My take on what went on in Loki's head while Odin "talked" to him in the beginning of Thor 2 and what happened to Loki afterwards :)

It features our (well at least my) favourite healer Eir (who for some reason I couldn't select as a character on the character list... apparently she doesn't exist... but Hogun does and some other guy whose name I forgot and have never heard before today... So I'm kinda pissed right now as these minor and insignficant characters are listed but not Eir xD

So, yeah, sorry again, but please enjoy this short addition to the story anyway :)


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters (just in case you thought so)^^

Sorry guys... after seeing IW I'm an emotional mess and this is taking even longer now as I just don't feel capable of writing anything... But well the show must go on, mustn't it? So here now at least some small progress...

* * *

Loki thought he had mastered the virtue of patience. But how wrong he'd been in that assumption.

He noticed it now: his growing impatience, while waiting in his cell, completely alone except for the fallen prisoners and Dark Elves littering the prison floor. The Asgardian soldiers and guards had been taken upstairs hours ago.

Three hours ago to be exact and still no word had reached him from either Eir or his mother. Nor Thor or Odin, though he wouldn't have expected them to deign him a visit or the curtsey of informing him about the state of Asgard and their well-being anyway...

And he had got this nagging feeling – almost as soon as Thor had left him to go and get Frigga – that something had happened or was _wrong_... But he wrote it down to his general worry due to the lack of any kind of message reaching him...

He was left to wonder: Had Jane been able to warn Frigga in time? Had they been able to escape the Kurse? Had Thor intercepted it before it could do any harm and had he been able to protect Frigga and Jane? What about Odin? Was he still alive? Where any of them still alive? What had happened up there in the palace?

While he had been left down here... uselessly waiting... instead of being out there, fighting with them, helping them with his magic and daggers...

The guards that had ventured down here to retrieve the fallen soldiers had only offered him veiled glances and refused to answer his questions. Nor had they released him – which had been a foolish hope to begin with.

He could therefore only assume that Odin and Thor were still alive, and fret and hope that the same applied to Frigga, Eir and Jane and the majority of Asgard.

They seemed to have driven back the Dark Elves enough so as to retrieve all the dead, and probably were preparing and conducting the funerals right now... which should have been a relief to him because if Frigga or Thor or even Odin had died then he would have been allowed to join the funeral...

That was custom for all Asgardians and everyone's inherent right... They surely wouldn't trample on that... Thinking back on all the law cases he had studied, back when Thor and him had been taught how to sentence criminals and what rights each Asgardian citizen held, this had been one of the fundamental rules:

Each Asgardian was permitted to be present at any kind of special occasion or unforeseen happening, concerning their immediate family if they so chose, which included weddings, visiting sickbeds, childbirth, anniversaries and funerals... And no Asgardian had ever been denied that right... not even prisoners...

But... he wasn't Asgardian... he was _Jotun_. The cursed word. The bane of his existence. Would Odin be so heartless? Would he deny him this one, simple reprieve if the time came?

He was to be in here for life which meant his mother would reach Valhalla before he ever would (if he was even still allowed entrance into its sacred halls...)

So, would he be allowed to attend her funeral? He didn't know what he would do if he was barred from it... Truth was, he wouldn't put it past Odin – if the past year and this whole prison sentence was any indication...

Loki was shocked that he hadn't realized it before: Odin's punishment had not just felt unjust and harsh because Loki had foolishly expected his alleged father to still feel some kernel of love for him and be lenient, but because Odin hadn't judged him as an Asgardian... but as a Jotun... a foreigner... and the old enemy at that...

 _So much for Frigga's reassurances that Odin still loved him... One should rather doubt whether the old man is even capable of love at all..._

Loki groaned and told the Tesseract to shut up... even though he found himself agreeing with it more and more... at least where Odin was concerned... It seemed Loki had really just been a means to an end to Odin and now being a broken pawn on his chessboard Odin could just as easily discard him... He hadn't been disappointed and angry with Loki because of what he'd done, but because his carefully laid and constructed plans had been thwarted by Loki's actions...

 _I told you so from the start but you wouldn't listen..._

The Tesseract chimed in. Loki frowned. The Tesseract really hadn't troubled him this much for quite a while, which had constituted to him almost believing to be fully recovered and free of it... but, well, ever since the Aether's arrival the barriers between it and him seemed to have been shattered again and Loki really had to struggle...

And still, he noted, that until now it hadn't gotten into any frenzy. Instead it had stayed oddly quiet and had rather withdrawn itself... Which either meant that it was content for now and the Aether was still save and in Asgard's possession, meaning Jane was alive, too...

Or it could mean the exact opposite... that the Aether had found a new master and the Tesseract was now just biding its time...

By the Norns!

All these conflicting thoughts... this uncertainty and worry… It was eating him up bit by bit... He couldn't stand it!

Loki decided that it was no good to work himself into a frenzy either and so he slid down onto the ground and grabbed for one of the books that were lying on the floor. He needed a distraction, he needed something to do and he needed to get himself back under control and stay patient... They would send note soon... Everything was fine...

…

He had been staring at the same page for almost an hour – unblinking and unseeing, his thoughts still churning and whirling inside of him haphazardly, when he noticed someone stepping up to the window of his cell right next to him. Finally!

For a second he thought it was Thor come with news and maybe, finally, here to meet him and _talk_.

But no, the Asgardian was to small and gangly to be even comparable to his brother. It was only one of the guards. Swallowing his disappointment and anger, Loki slightly inclined his head towards him to hear the news or message.

It took an eternity for the information to sink in and register. He managed to nod and indicate for the guard to take his leave.

How he was even able to do that was beyond him. There was this big black void opening up inside of him and he feared that just one tiny movement, even taking one small breath would tip him over the edge and let it swallow him whole.

It took another second to decide that he was beyond caring. So he stood up and welcomed it. Letting his magic rush out of him without control. Something you should under no circumstances do. Especially not in a cell as this, which was magic-proof.

His outburst shook the whole cell and his magic ricochetted of the walls hitting everything in his path, not just throwing his furniture around but also shattering most of it. He didn't feel the splinters and shards beneath his feet and the ones that in flight had scratched his face and ripped his tunic.

He felt utterly numb and empty as he fell to the ground amidst the newest destruction he had caused... and screamed.

 _Then am I not your mother._

 _No your not._

Their last exchange... Heated words spoken in anger and frustration and while struggling to be himself...

His mother...

She was his mother and she would always be his mother! He wanted to tell her this. To take back his words, his outburst! To tell her he loved her and was so grateful for everything she'd done for him, for helping him and believing in him and despite every despicable thing he'd done still not abandoning him, for still harbouring that kernel of hope for him, for being his anchor, for keeping him sane...

And now he would never be able to say all of this to her. Because she was dead. Frigga was dead. His mother was dead.

And they hadn't told him. They hadn't let him attend the funeral. They hadn't let him say goodbye and offer his prayers as was Asgardian custom. Odin and Thor had not even bothered to deliver the news themselves but had send a lowly guard to inform him in two simple sentences about what had occurred...

 _The Dark Elves infiltrated the royal chambers. Queen Frigga has been killed._

Two small sentences. A handful of words. With the power to confirm his darkest suspicions and shatter his whole world anew.

It was his fault. He had set the Kurse on the trail towards the royal chambers.

Yes, he had been vague and _"the stairs on the left"_ had only been a small hint as towards the general directions which hadn't necessarily had to lead to the royal chambers... but if he hadn't bargained with Fate and tried to trick his way out of his cell, the Kurse might never have found the chambers as soon as it did and Thor might have been there in time...

 _Thor..._

This dumb fool! Of course he would head straight into a fight and brawl to throw his hammer around, smash sculls and show his muscles and thunderous powers even when the whole thing screamed diversion...

If he had gone with Frigga and Jane instead of heading down here, they would have been safe. Their mother would still be alive... Why hadn't he gone with them?

It was, again, something Loki could not for the life of him understand, especially because Thor's beloved Jane had been at risk, too...

And that brought him to Jane... she was the core problem... She had got the Aether here in the first place, which then had attracted the Dark Elves...

Why did this tiny, insignificant, stupid mortal have to be so annoyingly bright and curious and stumble upon one of the most deadliest weapons and entities in the whole of existence? And why had it been her that his oaf of a brother had had to fall for?

And to think that she was supposed to be his second half... Why her? Why now? Why the Aether?

And why had Odin not immediately acted and thrown her out? Why had he not taken the Aether? He certainly knew what it was... and extracting it was a minor nuisance if you didn't particularly care about hurting or possibly killing the host – a human at that... Hel! Odin could even have asked him to do it – Yes, in fact, Loki was more than eager to do just that right now...

Thankfully for that little mortal, he was stuck in this cell and couldn't harm her...

This stupid cell... which had also prevented him from fighting the Dark Elves and protecting Frigga in the first place... And now he had come full circle and returned to laying the blame on himself again and loathing himself even more than he already did...

He could have saved her... He should have been there to protect her... But he had been here... His actions... his stupid decisions... his delusions... his failures... his stupidity and hubris and who he was... what he was... it all had let to this...

He thought he knew what the worst possible pain felt like... thought he had already experienced it during his time with Thanos and the Dark Order and the Chitauri master... even though the latter had promised him that he'd _wish for something as sweet as pain_ should he fail in retrieving the Tesseract, which he hadn't been able to imagine as the torture had already been excruciating...

But this grief, this ache deep inside of him – he thought it might actually be the worst he'd ever felt. It was gutting him, ripping him apart, opening that void inside of him, granting the Tesseract easy access.

Just like after his fall... He had been so devastated and hurt and despaired then, next to the obvious injuries from his fall that it had been an easy thing for Thanos to brainwash him, first with the Sceptre, then through torture and finally by letting him wield the Tesseract...

He knew he should try to fight back, to close the void, to get a grip. But he just couldn't. And he just didn't care...

* * *

The following moments and hours flowed into one and another for Jane. She was unresponsive, uncomprehending, numb – clearly in shock and denial – and full of self-loathing...

She should have gone through that door sooner. She should have fought against the Aether's control harder. She should have warned Frigga in time and she should have been there to help.

She should have been the one to die. It was all her fault.

She shouldn't even have been here on Asgard... She should have been back on earth. On this stupid date. Trying to make it work for once and get her life back together, trying to forget Thor and stop hoping for his return.

No. Instead, she had been stupid enough to wander off into that warehouse at the first sign of something not-earthern. Thinking that it could be Thor or lead to him. Sparking that foolish hope again.

And her damn curiosity, that had eventually led to her being claimed by the Aether. And her – _thing_ – or whatever this was between her and Thor – had caused the Aether to end up in Asgard and lead the Dark Elves here...

And her cowardice and selfishness that had stopped her from going out there and fight, but save her own ass instead...

The Aether might have stopped her, yes, but she was sure she could have evaded its control again and hadn't had to agree to the bargain...

So now, kind and beautiful and selfless Frigga, who had tried to keep Jane save, who had fought valiantly, had paid the price instead...

It should have been her... stupid, selfish coward... Jane felt herself ever-deeper spiralling down this treacherous path of blame and loathing and pain and doubt... the Aether staying silent and hidden in the back of her mind. Which should have made her suspicious but Jane couldn't bring herself to care.

Thor was too occupied with his own grief and dealing with the aftermath of the dark Elves' attack, too, to notice her inner struggles or try to reassure her that it wasn't her fault.

Jane couldn't stand being in the chamber anymore, so she slipped into the adjacent small room where she had hidden in before, unnoticed by Thor and Odin and the guards.

A meagre human, a human not worth any attention. For once she was glad about their ostracising behaviour. – She would let Odin grieve alone and Thor do what he had to and try to stay well out of everyone's way in the process.

As Odin was not responding to Thor or any of the surviving guards and just sitting there cradling Frigga's body, it fell to him now to see to the damage caused and assess the number of dead guards and Asgardians and how to proceed now and to make sure the Dark Elves were gone and wouldn't attack anytime soon.

And honestly – she didn't deserve Thor's reassurances and comfort anyway. How could she even expect him to notice her and ask about her feelings? How selfish was she? He just lost his mother! And Odin lost his wife. All because of her... She didn't deserve any of his attention nor love after this...

And he had bigger things to deal with now. More important things than her well-being or state of mind. Jane was inconsequential and the reason for all this mess...

Jane sat down on the windowsill and buried her head in her hands. Taking deep breaths, trying to process everything that had happened in the not even seven hours that had passed since her catastrophic date and Darcy taking her to Greenwich...

Oh she missed Darcy... Darcy would know how to cheer her up, how to go on from here, how to make light of a dark situation like this... And Jane would really like to know what Darcy would make of all this in the first place...

And surely she was worried sick by now as to what had happened to Jane in that warehouse and what that power surge had been... She hoped Darcy was smart enough to try and find Eric and contact him. Jane herself hadn't heard from him since a short while after New York...

He hadn't been the same when Jane went to see him in the hospital. His hair had gone from light blonde to grey in some places, his face had looked pale and gaunt and he had lost considerable weight... but that was just the outward change. Inside of him she could swear that something fundamental had been broken or at least been strained more than it should have.

Erik would be fine one moment and the next he would be either in a daze he wouldn't snap out of for a long time or start mumbling and going on about crazy theories and scientific or more often ludicrous ideas and concepts that even to Jane more often than not didn't make any sense.

She had wanted to help Erik and find out how to reverse the Sceptres effect or what working on the Tesseract had done to him, but he had refused and nothing Jane did or said had helped... And then Shield had told her they would take care of him and offered Jane a job in London and selfish Jane couldn't refuse, and left Erik to his own devices in the care of S.H.I.E.L.D which she had sworn not to trust...

And she had only called and checked in on Erik once in a while... Last time she had checked he had come to the U.K. too to work on some new project, which Jane had considered to be an improvement of his mental state. Actually, she had even planned on visiting him during one of the following days... which now would not be happening... So that left Darcy to contact him...

Her eyes snapped to the basin. But – no – it wouldn't work that way... She didn't even know how she had made it work before in the first place. And with her luck she would see Loki again and not Darcy or Erik...

Loki...

She still wasn't sure what to make of him... Thinking about Erik and his current state, about the thousands of people he killed or got killed in New York, the damage he'd caused, she could not help but hate him from the bottom of her heart...

And now remembering that short moment when she'd seen his projection and how he'd talked to the horrid creature, she had to assume that he had somehow caused this, too. That he'd helped the creature and thus aided it in killing Frigga... It would certainly alleviate some of her guilt and self-loathing...

But there had been this short moment just before he'd noticed her when he'd looked so worried and terrified and despairing... and _human_ that she couldn't be sure that he hadn't been scheming for their benefit. He hadn't known she was there so why would he fake being so thoroughly shaken?

And when he called her name, he definitely had tried to tell her something or warn her. She had been stupid then, to not get closer to the basin again to hear what he had to say...

No, instead, acting like a freaking coward and scaredy-pants, she had stumbled away from him although he was just a projection...

He might have been imprisoned for life by Odin which could have made him despise Odin and Asgard enough to go behind their backs and ensorcel a foe into letting him out of his cell... But wasn't Frigga his mother, too? Would he really be so vindictive? So cruel and evil?

Honestly? If she hadn't seen his face in that short second she would have not put it past him. She had seen the footage of New York and heard Fury's report and noticed Erik's whole demeanour and the way he averted his eyes and went rigid whenever Loki's name was brought up. It was enough to show her that he was a maniac.

 _But what if he was not? Or hadn't always been that way at least? What if something had happened to make him do it?_

She remembered the Aether's reasoning with the guard about the injustice of his imprisonment as from an Asgardian point of view and she had to admit that she still couldn't understand why Odin's punishment had been so harsh... It couldn't have been about his actions on earth – at least not solely...

And there was her damn curiosity again...

She wanted to know what had happened to him to make him do such horrible things – if something had even happened. And she wanted to hear Loki's reasoning and justification. In fact, she had wanted to confront him from the moment she had heard about him being on earth and the happenings in New York.

A part of her even had to admit that she had been slightly more eager to interrogate Loki and give him hell for what he'd done than about the prospect of seeing Thor again... She had wanted to see the person that had sent the destroyer into her lovely home town, that had almost killed Thor – his own brother! – and the person that then went on to try and subjugate earth by leading an alien army to it to wipe out everyone that stood in his way...

But as Thor had immediately taken him back to Asgard she hadn't gotten the chance to interrogate him and much less S.H.I.E.L.D, who even if they had would not have given her any answers...

But now she was in close proximity to the _source_. She could confront him and ask him.

Jane stood up and went to the basin putting her hands on it like she had done before.

But nothing happened. Jane cursed and went a full circle around it, touching it from every angle, crouching down to maybe find some hidden button (which of course was completely stupid as it was so obviously not working like any technology down on earth...). It had to be working with some very advanced scientific mechanisms. No – she would not call it _magic_...

She was just about to lean over the basin and sink her head into it like Harry Potter using the Pensive, but just at that moment Thor called her name from the door. She whirled around to face him, colour rising on her cheeks unbidden.

"Jane!", Thor didn't comment on it, but took two mighty steps towards her before crushing her into a hug, "I am so sorry for leaving you for so long! By the Norns, for even leaving you in the first place... I should have stayed with you and..."

His voice broke and Jane wrestled free of his tight hug to cup his huge face in her small hands, his puppy eyes sad and forlorn: "Don't... don't blame yourself! You couldn't have known... If someone is to blame then it's me... I brought the Aether here... and now Frigga... I am so sorry Thor!"

Tears welled up in her eyes – finally after her previous numbness, but at the completely wrong time, she shouldn't be the one doing the crying... So she quickly blinked them away and hugged Thor again. He didn't say anything, but hugged her back and absently stroked her head.

After what felt like an eternity of quietly grieving together Thor cleared his throat: "The funeral is to take place in a short while... We should head down to Mimir's Well... All the fallen will be released first into the Iving and from there they will flow on to Valhalla... Odin will lead the procession and I am to stand by his side... And... I would like you to accompany me..."

She nodded into his chest: "Yes... of course I will come with you! I want to pay my respects to the dead as well..."

She felt Thor breathe in and nod: "But you have to understand... My father... Odin... he didn't want you there... I am going against one of his orders again in bringing you... Are you up to that?"

He drew back to study her face and Jane nodded, sending him a reassuring, if also sad and slightly terrified, smile: "I want to be there for you! And I want to say goodbye to Frigga, too... I can keep in the back if you'd like...?"

Thor managed a small smile: "Jane, you are a truly kind and considerate. I thank you!" – and with this he kissed her forehead and then stepped next to her and put his hand on the small of her back – "Shall we, Ms. Foster?"

Jane could only nod, as she felt a huge lump in her throat and didn't trust her voice.

The _funeral_ was in all its serenity and sorrowfulness an utterly mesmerizing and beautiful thing to behold and so different from any funeral on earth. Though the situation and everything surrounding it was devastating she couldn't help but stare at the burning pyres floating away and then over the edge of Asgard – only Frigga's turning into stardust – and the thousands of white orbs being released into the night sky...

Jane would not forget that experience soon. She didn't even care about Odin staring daggers at her, his face so grief-stricken, that she endured it – deservedly so.

...

Afterwards Thor dropped her off at his chambers, while he had to take care of some more things, including a war council with Odin about how to proceed from here on forth.

Meanwhile Jane was finally given some food. She had completely forgotten about hunger or thirst, running on pure adrenaline for hours but seeing the plates of bread, cheese and an assortment of fruit made her stomach instantly rumble and her mouth water.

She immediately dug into the food like a ravenous beast. She was too famished to bother eating civilly and there was no one there to watch her anyway as the guards where stationed outside of her door and the servant that had brought her food had vanished as soon as she's set down the tray.

Jane had finished half of the small loaf of bread in no time and was just about to bite into one of the juicy and delicious looking apples when a horrible pain suddenly and out of nowhere ripped through her abdomen and clenched her heart. Jane thought she might die just then and there because that pain... it was the worst agony, it was tearing at her soul...

Her ears were ringing, her head _screaming_. For a second she thought it was her own, but she felt incapable of screaming, while biting down on her lips, only silent tears streaming down her cheeks, her breathing laboured, as she was lying there on the ground in fetal position.

Vaguely she noticed one of the guards coming into the room and immediately turning on his heels to hopefully fetch someone. She hoped he made haste because Jane didn't know how much longer she could bear up against the pain.

 _Hurt. Grief. Anger. Betrayal. Guilt. Blame. Self-loathing._

 _The Unjustness. The Pain. Agony._

 _It's time._

And just like that the pain began to ebb away. Eir had arrived now, too, and was immediately upon her, checking her forehead and her pulse, and then she moved her hand along her whole body in a scanning motion. Jane didn't dare move in case it caused the pain to flare up again, but whatever Eir did it send warmth coursing through her whole body.

Jane managed to even out her breathing and Eir helped her sit up, all the while frowning at her, which scrunched her whole face: "I don't know what just happened to you... It is... strange... there is nothing physically wrong with you... it was purely mental from what last remnants I could detect..."

Jane now frowned as well. So what Eir was telling her is, that she had just imagined this excruciating pain? But it had felt so real... it had felt as if someone had stabbed her and then ripped her to shreds... which she didn't want to imagine nor feel like ever again...

"And what you were feeling... it felt like... grief..." Eir mused, her mind seemed to be far away, until she focused on Jane again and looked at her for several seconds.

Then her eyes widened and she suddenly jumped up: "Please excuse me." And just like that she was off and gone again leaving Jane sitting on the floor, still shaken and utterly confused.

Grief? That had been grief? If, then she had never felt it to that extent...

She tried to remember the feeling she had got after receiving the news that her parents had died in a car crash, when Erik, being his father's closest friend and colleague, had taken her into his arms and wept with her.

She tried to remember the emptiness insider of her at the funeral and the months afterwards, hell, even now she sometimes still woke up crying for them. But that grief... it was laughable in the face of what she had just experienced...

And why would she feel it in the first place? Why in such an intense way? And why now? Yes, she was sad and angry and blamed herself for Frigga's death, but she had barely known her. Her parents had a much closer emotional value to her.

And if for some reason she was greatly effected by all the past hours' happenings then why hadn't she broken down like this at the funeral where she would have had all the reason to?

Maybe it was just her brain being unable to process everything and that had been its way of dealing with it to sort of reset her or cool down... It was the only thing that made sense...

 _My dear... it wasn't your grief..._

Oh, no... it was still there... the Aether back again... She had honestly almost forgotten that it had ever been there...

 _You're not getting rid of me that easily... I just gave you the curtsey of processing everything on your own... You can thank me later... – it told her, sighing deeply._

 _Remember. When I told you my siblings were more into taking host bodies than me? And that the Tesseract and I are linked? Well, much like I am bonded with you right now, the Tesseract has found a host, too, and our connection it also seems to effect our hosts the closer we are to each other..._

Great... so I'm now feeling everything this other host feels? Any other side effects I need to know abaout?

 _Well, given that I can communicate with the Tesseract it doesn't seem such a far off guess that potentially the two of you could, too. This emotional exchange seems to be indication enough..._

Ok, who is this mystery host? I guess he's here on Asgard, too?

 _As a matter of fact he is. You will meet him soon enough. But before I divulge any more details, need I remind you of our little bargain again? I really need you to get the Tesseract!_

And how the hell am I supposed to do that? Guards are stationed outside my door, I am in god-knows-what part of the palace and after what happened they will probably guard the area where it's stored extra carefully...

 _Actually, given that so many soldiers were killed and Odin is planning on letting the Dark Elves return and fight them here, the remaining soldiers are busy preparing for battle and recruiting any Asgardian they can. Plus, I can make sure you know where to go and get there safely..._

I am not going to let you control me again – that was part of the bargain! And I ant to know exactly what will happen when you fuse with the Tesseract...

 _Go over to that balcony over there and I will show you... what Malekith wants to do when he gets his filthy hands on me... and then you can tell me whether any other alternative wouldn't be better than it..._

Jane for once did as she was told and stepped up on the balcony. The last rays of sunshine where slowly slipping beneath the horizon, the sky still light blue because of the second sun still standing high enough to indicate it was day. It was a beautiful play of colours.

But then everything was suddenly plunged into a crimson horror. The sky bled, both suns were eclipsed and the trees and flowers down below in the palace gardens were whithering and dying away. Where befor Asgardians had walked and hustled around now only corpses remained, sucked dry of any life. She saw darkness erupt, swallowing first planets, then whole galaxies and lastly the universe as a whole into unending darkness.

Just as soon as the vision had struck her, it cleared away and everything returned to normal. But the image, the coldness and emptiness, the dread would probably stay with her for forever. Jane shuddered and felt sick to her stomach. She had to admit that she couldn't see how anything could be worse than what she had just seen...

 _See... Uniting me with the Tesseract is the only way...to stop this..._

Jane really wanted to believe that...

"Jane Foster! You need to come with us!", a deep, rough voice suddenly sounded from behind her and an Asgardian soldier faced her, spear in hand, looking stern.

Next thing she new she was escorted from Thor's chambers down several stairs and corridors into a small chamber with only a small cot, chair, and vanity table in it. It was not the same room that Frigga had first brought her, too, but for a small room it was still rather grand.

And even though all her attempts at asking what was going on, why they had brought her here and why she was to stay here only met deaf ears, she wasn't stupid and knew it probably were Odin's orders and she was to be some kind of prisoner... if not bait...

The guard left her without another glance, closing the door behind him with a rather loud bang, and Jane only caught a short glimpse of the two guards that were standing guard on either side of it.

With a long sigh Jane let herself slump down onto the cot. She knew she would most likely not get out of here soon and could only wait for Thor to get wind of this and come to her. She refused to believe that he had anything to do with this...

 _Better get some rest... I've drained you quite a bit today and tomorrow you will need your strength..._

What is that supposed to mean? What is going to happen? The Dark Elves will be back won't they?

 _Get some rest... Matters will resolve themself soon..._

Has anyone ever told you that you're not really reassuring? Nor helping one to relax and rest?

The Aether chuckled and Jane couldn't believe that she was actually joking around with it... She must really be exhausted to the point of being delirious... Jane couldn't stop the corners of her mouth from lifting slightly before she sank back against the pillows, eyes closed and drifted off to sleep only a handful of seconds later...

* * *

Meanwhile Loki got a visitor down in his lone prison cell. Most of the prisoners had been killed during the prison break and the few that remained alive were locked away at the other end of the prison. No guards were stationed anywhere near his cell so he was quite alone, which had suited him just fine until now...

"How are you feeling?" Eir asked, concern and sadness marring her features.

Loki hadn't bothered casting an illusion for her so she saw the state of his cell, the state of him, which should have pretty much answered her question...

"I'm glad you survived. They probably need all the healers they can get up there... So why are you down here? No one else bothered..." and by no one else she knew Loki meant Odin and Thor specifically.

Eir stepped closer to the magic shield: "I am so sorry Loki... I wanted to come sooner... but I thought they would tell you... I honestly didn't believe they would keep it from you and deny you the right to attend the funeral... when you weren't there I thought it was of your own choosing..."

Loki gave a mirthless chuckle: "Quite clever of Odin... manifesting the image of the heartless trickster who couldn't even be bothered to attend his own moth... her funeral... Thor probably didn't even notice... or maybe he really doesn't care..."

"I doubt that very much, my prince... They are both in grief... that makes people irrational and... forgetful... it was all very sudden... very rushed but we all fear another attack soon, so don't blame them too much..."

"Spoken like a true diplomat, Eir, why did you not become a council member? A pity..." Loki tried to change the topic, to think of anything else, to keep distracted...

Eir sighed: "I am better at healing. That is my true calling. Actually, I just had the weirdest healing call... It is also what made me realize that they had not informed you... You remember that mortal that was with Thor and that I examined while you made use of the empathy link?"

Loki wanted to deny having noticed her and tell Eir that he didn't care and didn't want to know what mortal frailness had ailed her, but the Tesseract was jittery and he couldn't ignore his own rising curiosity...

Especially when Eir said: "Well, she just broke down. Experiencing some really horrible pain. But it was only in her mind. I didn't find anything wrong with her well-being, it had just been in her head... and it was oddly similar to what I shortly perceived through our link... It was subtle but there, I sensed that you must be hurting... What you felt was so acute that I actually got a whiff of it... But the mortal? She seemed to actually _feel_ it..."

Loki stared at Eir at what she was implying. What this meant. He and the mortal... they actually shared an empathy link, too. But not an ordinary one like him and Eir... no this was the real deal. Extremely rare, extremely unique and extremely dangerous...

"I don't know how this is possible or what is going on here with that weird thing inside her and you showing up with the Tesseract all those months ago... but I am not stupid, I know this is somehow connected... And Frigga she wanted to tell me something before the attack... I think she knew something, too..."

"If you want me to enlighten you then I am terribly sorry, Eir, but I can't help you..." Loki told her and shrugged – the picture of nonchalance.

Eir huffed: "Suit yourself..." – then remembering her place she amended – "Can I at least do something for you? Anything? Shall I heal those cuts? Have they brought you any food yet?"

Loki sighed: "Stop fussing... Just go, will you?"

"Don't... don't shut yourself off again! Please... Talk to me!", Eir insisted, in that moment reminding him so much of Frigga that he had to suck in a breath to keep the tears in and the pain at bay.

"Just go..." he whispered and turned away from her to stare at the wall.

Eir, knowing that this was a battle of minds she would not win, turned away to make him think she was about to go, but then she quickly stepped through the magic shield and knelt down next to him: "I will go, but not before I've healed those cuts..."

Loki frowned up at her but didn't fight her when she healed the cuts on his arms and cheeks. After she'd finished she remained crouching next to him a bit longer, before shaking her head, getting up and leaving his cell again (as it was only warded against him). She was halfway down the corridor when she turned around one last time.

"I remember you as a boy running around these palace halls, chasing Thor, you two fighting at least once daily, and then at the end of the day both of you sitting on my healing cot to get the cuts and bruises healed, all the while laughing and smiling at each other as if nothing had ever happened...

I hope that things will go back to _that_ once this – whatever it is – has passed... Both of you have grown to such formidable man – don't let that and your brotherly bond be broken by whatever you know is going on... whatever is brewing... and has been brewing ever since you vanished..."

And with this she left the dungeons. Loki didn't stop the tears from falling this time. Oh Eir, if things were only that easy...

* * *

The next chapter is definitely, definitely, definitely gonna contain Lokane (well at least Loki - Jane) interaction! Finally! I know you've been waitig (me, too^^ xD ) so bear with me for a few more... I won't say weeks (you'll probably hunt me down with pickaxes) but as Uni is steadily progressing I can't promise anything dearies ^^

At this point I would also like to thank everyone that has been reviewing my chapters so far, THANK YOU! Your the best! I really appreciate it! Hugs and love to all of you (the silent, non-reviewing readers included, too, of course)! 3 3

See you later alligators! :)


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters (just in case you thought so^^)

So here finally a new update... this reading and writing slump of mine really drags on my nerves and I don't know... I feel like there is already so much good, creative, original Lokane fanfic out there and mine is just bs and nothing new... so yeah I'm not sure whether I will continue this fic... I want to, but at times I just don't see the point... Sorry guys 3

I'll try my best to finish this... I just can't promise anything yet...

Enjoy!

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An empathy link... great... Being told by a manipulative Infinity Stone, and his mothers more or less unclear weaving that he had a soul mate who was human and Thor's girlfriend was one thing – he could easily dismiss and deny that – but an actual, natural empathy link occurring between the two of them... he couldn't dismiss that as easily...

Then again maybe it was only because of the Tesseract and Aether being in such close proximity to each other. Maybe it was also solely the Aether's doing and it would vanish as soon as Jane got rid of it (if it didn't kill her first)...

But as long as she was still its host it would definitely stay an unalterable fact... They were bonded... connected... By the Norns!

He hoped Jane wasn't aware of that connection and Eir didn't tell her nor Thor about it... especially not Thor... things were bad enough as they were...

 _And speaking of the devil... Your brother is approaching... – the Tesseract laughed – If I were you I would just tell him... Rub it under his nose! His beloved Jane and his devious brother – soulmates! As fate would have it!_

 _Come on! After what he did to you – why not wallow in his anger? He ignored you throughout this year, not caring an ounce about you or what has happened to you... about_ Thanos. _..but most grievous of all, he didn't inform you about your mother's death and barred you from attending the funeral! The cruellest thing one could do! Especially because he knew how close you were..._

 _Just give him hell already!_

Loki couldn't agree more. Throwing Eir's last words to the wind, he cast an illusion all around his cell, to fool Thor into believing he was still his arrogant, cruel, uncaring self. The Loki he had fought on earth and brought back home to Odin's harsh jurisdiction...

"Thor! After all this time, and now you come to visit me..." he greeted him, and let his bitterness and anger flow into his projection, "WHY? Have you come to gloat? To mock?"

Thor didn't take the bait and looked first at, then past his illusion sternly – that was new, he must have learned at least a little bit after Loki's stunt up on the helicarrier...

"Loki enough... no more illusions..."

Thor seemed exhausted and drained, but still in good enough condition, considering that they had suffered great losses by the Dark Elves attack and his mother had been killed mere hours ago...

It almost seemed as if he wasn't bothered that much by it. It only furthered Loki's anger and sense of betrayal... _Frigga had been Thor's genuine mother and still he had the audacity to seem at least to some degree unfazed by her passing, while Loki felt her loss most acutely even though she hadn't been his biological mother..._

And he wanted Thor to see that. What her death had done to him. What their – his and Odin's – betrayal had done... No, he didn't cast away the illusion because Thor wished it so, he did it because he wanted to...

"Now you see me brother..."

Thor frowned but didn't comment on the dilapidated condition of his cell and his haggard appearance. In fact, he looked as if he couldn't believe this was Loki's real self and still thought that Loki was casting an illusion. Though he didn't know why he would deign this scenery to be a good illusion and what he was to gain by casting it as Thor clearly didn't buy it...

Did he really think Loki so heartless as to not grief for their mother? Did he really believe that wrong, cruel, insane version of himself he had been a year ago, was really him? After growing up together for 1,000 years? Did he really not know Loki? Or did he choose to ignore their shared past in favour of the easier act of hating him?

"Did she suffer?", Loki asked at last, not sure whether he really wanted to know the answer either way. Though, if she had, he would definitely hate himself even more.

Who had done it? The Kurse? How had she died? These questions where resting on the tip of his tongue, too. He didn't necessarily want to know any of it. He just wanted to talk to Thor. To share his grief with someone... And she had been their mother so Thor would understand...

But Thor was not having it: "I did not come here to share our grief..."

So, that was it. Whatever brotherly bond they might have had before his banishment and everything that followed afterwards, it had been snapped and torn and he wasn't sure whether it could ever be repaired...

 _Not if Thor didn't give him a chance to explain and just kept on drawing his own conclusions and assumptions... Not if he would not even be bothered to just sit with him silently for a minute and grief together for everything that had been lost – not just Frigga..._

Thor was maybe thinking along a similar line if his fiddling with his cuffs was any indication and he seemed to debate how to say what he obviously came here for to say. But whatever it was, he still wasn't about to offer Loki the benefit of the doubt...

"Instead I offer you the chance of a far richer sacrament..."

Loki wanted to scoff and laugh at him. He knew where Thor was going with this. He obviously needed something from him, his help most likely, and to get it he wanted to bribe him. _How stupid... To think that Thor actually came her to talk to Loki..._

 _And, then, to want to bribe him..._

Loki would help Thor in a second – no bribing necessary – especially if it involved getting out of this cell... and possibly included getting rid of that mortal... avenging their mother's death would be a bonus. And he figured that at least one of those things was on Thor's mind. So he said: "Go on."

"I know you seek vengeance as much as I do", oh yes he did, and he was going to get it... "You help me escape Asgard and I will grant it to you. Vengeance."

Thor. So predictable. But it was a great offer. Only... there had to be a catch...

"... and afterwards. This cell."

 _Figures..._

Loki looked off into distance and away from Thor. _Of course he would not let him walk free after this. He would just use him, get the help he needed, pretending to call them even, by offering him to claim the revenge, but not more_. He would not try to dig deeper, to get Odin to reconsider the sentencing. Thor actually thought it a just punishment...

It confirmed all his buried fears from back when he realized he was a Jotun and remembered Thor telling him he would kill them all... Make them fear him... and then kill them... Apparently he still thought that way and possibly that was the reason why he hadn't bothered to visit Loki and talk to him and agreed with the lifelong prison sentence... _He thought Loki was only a filthy, heartless, evil Jotun – not his brother..._

Loki snorted. _How ludicrous of Eir to believe things would ever be able to resolve themselves to ever go back to normal between him and Thor._ As much as he'd like that, Thor was clearly not willing to...

"You must be truly desperate to come to me for help."

Thor turned away at that and walked along Loki's cell. Loki, thinking he might reconsider his offer and leave him again, quickly ventured, partly just to say something to keep him here, partly because he really wanted to know how things stood between the two of them: "What makes you think you can trust me?"

"I don't..." Thor bluntly stated – so much for that – and then added a bit softer, "But mother did."

Pain, still fresh, flared up inside Loki's chest again...

"But you should know that when we fought each other in the past, I always did so with the glimmer of hope that my brother was still in there somewhere..." Thor told him reminiscing and then went on, his voice turning harsh again, "That hope no longer exists to protect you. You betray me and I will kill you!"

 _My brother._ So there was a part of him that still considered him his brother... Not all was lost... Maybe there was still a chance to make this right... Maybe he could even convince Thor to let him go, once the deed was done... After all, Loki was the trickster – the silver-tongue, wasn't he? He could find a way...

If Thor wasn't willing to listen to him, talk about the past two years and give him a second chance then Loki was sure to find another way to get out of here and away from them all. If they clearly didn't want him here and didn't care about him anymore...

 _The last person that had loved him and cared for his well-being and had tried to understand what had happened to him was gone... there was really nothing here for him anymore_. It all felt like back on the rainbow bridge when he'd fought Thor and chose to let go of Odin's staff...

He had felt so empty, betrayed, used and purposeless and unwanted and like death was the only option left for him and a better alternative than facing the consequences of his deluded actions, a father that clearly would never love him the same way he loved Thor, a mother that was probably appalled by his actions and a brother that would possibly kill him if he finally realized that Loki was a Jotun – his enemy...

He felt just the same now. Empty, inconsequential, nothing really mattered to him any more. He just wanted out. So, yes, if he got the chance to get out of this cell he would take it, whatever the deed and if it meant he would die, then that was also preferable to this. He would either complete this mission and escape through one of _his_ secret pathways or he would die.

There was no chance in Hel that he would let Thor drag him back here alive that he would stay here any longer without Frigga there to keep him company...

"Hmmm", Loki smiled, acting as if it was a really tough decision to make, testing Thor's resolve. When Thor patiently waited for his answer, he finally turned his face to him once more and asked him with a sly smile, " So, when do we start?"

Thor had the good sense to remain wary: "Tomorrow as soon as possible. I want to seek out Malekith, the Dark Elves' leader, before they can return here and wreck Asgard completely. I plan on him extracting the Aether from Jane and once it's free, Mjolnir will take care of it.

To achieve that, I will free you from this cell in the early morning hours. In the meantime, Sif will get Jane. Then we'll head for the Dark Elves abandoned ship in the throne hall and I will fly us out of here. Your job will be to direct us to Svartalfheim on one of those secret pathways... I trust you to be as inconspicuous as possible and don't lead us astray. Swear on Frigga... on our mother!"

Loki inclined his head. He had no reason to betray Thor. He would get them to Svartalfheim, even help them fight the Dark Elves if necessary, he would just not return home with them: "I swear on... our mother. I will get you there and I will not betray you...

But... How will you get Malekith to extract the Aether from Jane without killing either of you from the start? And what if Mjolnir can't destroy the Aether? It's a mighty... power source – surely it can't be that easy?

And by the way, how is your precious mortal holding up? Such raw power... it must be taxing to say the least!" – he drawled the last bit, all contempt and hate, Jane was dead to him – empathy link and bound souls to Hel.

Thor frowned and only replied curtly: "We will cross that bridge when we come to it. And Jane is fine, she can hold her ground just as well as any other Asgardian warrior, though I don't see how it's any concern to you."

Apparently Thor hadn't forgotten their little exchange and Loki's promise to pay her a visit and remained cautious and suspicious. Actually, it had merely been heated words he'd used to drive Thor mad and get him to fight, he hadn't really meant it...

Still, a tiny part of him was proud of himself for having irked Thor so much by saying it... And truth be told, he had also shortly debated visiting Jane the one or other time while working with Thanos and trying to get the Tesseract. His first proposition had in fact been to get Jane to work on it and help him while he was on earth, just to spite Thor...

But another part of him had just as quickly dismissed it and buried the thought deep. So he had gone for Selvig instead. That part of him had still loved Thor deeply and known that using Jane in that way would irrevocably estrange Thor to him forever... And that part of him would always remain...

 _But now seeing that Loki was just a need to an end for Thor – like father like son – and Jane was just as much to blame for Frigga's death as him and the Aether, he really shouldn't care about her life or what her death would do to Thor anymore... He shouldn't feel obligated to help him... nor still care about him... Sentiment. Weakness. Wasted effort._

At least he told himself that... Tried to...

NO – the Tesseract – It was trying to rile him up against Thor again!

But, Loki, he wanted to make things right between them! Make Thor trust him again! He had to remember that – had to start acting the part and show Thor he was still trustworthy and that some small part of him remained his brother...

"Just showing my concern for her fragile human life and what her demise would put you through, dear _brother_. I am – as opposed to what you think of me – not completely heartless..." Loki told him in a subdued voice.

Thor, of course, completely misunderstood or didn't believe his attempt at bridging the void between them: "Loki, don't make me reconsider my offer. When I get you out you will do well to stay away from Jane!"

"As you wish brother..." Loki had no intention of interacting with her anyway and the sooner she was gone the better...

Thor only nodded and then took this as his cue to go, leaving Loki to his own devices again until morning. Loki tried his best to gather all his strength in the meantime. He had the feeling he would need all that he could muster...

But his mind was restless and his dreams were everything but pleasant that night...

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This night Jane had had the craziest dream. She put it down to the Aether messing with her brain, the stress she'd been put through and all that had happened in the past 24h needing to be processed somehow...

But Jane wasn't prepared for that _somehow_ resulting in her first landing on some icy and desolate planet and seeing Sif and Fandral fighting some huge, blue creatures with burning red eyes, while Volstagg cried out a warning _not to let them touch you._

Then suddenly coming face-to face with one of the creatures and not being able to do anything else but stare in shock as it got a hold of her arm, shredded the armour surrounding it... and then instead of pain... her arm turned blue. It didn't hurt one bit. It was actually... a nice sensation.

Coming back to her senses she looked up into the creatures crimson eyes, that showed the same confusion probably also mirrored in her own eyes. – But it didn't get to say anything or do more _damage_ as Jane ran it through with a dagger that had suddenly appeared in her hand and disposed of it, before staring back at her arm and hand mesmerized but also in growing trepidation as it slowly faded back to her normal skin colour and the slow realisation set in, what this meant...

Then the scene shifted to her standing in front of a blue _casket_ , dread and anticipation coursing through her veins as she took hold of it and waited. It didn't burn, it didn't freeze her to death, as it should have...

Instead the tingling sensation she had felt back on _Jotunheim_ returned but this time it spread through her whole body and she saw her hands and arms turn blue and knew it didn't just stop there...

 _It couldn't be... He couldn't be a..._ She felt denial and fear and... such deeply rooted hurt and a sense of betrayal rise up in her that it became difficult to breathe... _Was this true? Was he cursed?_ This would change everything... Her whole world, her whole perception of who she was, stood in the balance...

"Stop!" the booming voice of Odin echoed through the huge hall.

"Am I cursed?" she asked him, but her voice... it wasn't her voice – it was deep and male, and thick with emotion... –

"No..."

"What am I?" she knew that voice from somewhere but couldn't place it...

"You are my son..."

"What more than that?"

And there's no going back now. Odin confirms all her dark suspicions and finally reveals the dreadful truth of her true heritage...

A frost giant. The monster of Asgardian children's tales. Cast out onto a frozen rock as a baby. Left to die. Son of Laufey – the king of Jotunheim, but considered to weak to be his heir. Taken in by Odin – not out of benevolence and pity, but as a pawn for his schemes and plans to annexe _Jotunheim_ when the time was right...

Not Odin's child. Never his. And Thor – now it all made sense! Why he had been the favoured one and that no matter what she did, she would never surpass Thor in Odin's eyes. Instead, all these years she'd followed a deluded, impossible dream that would never come to fruition...

She wanted to confront Odin, wanted to make him see the error of his ways, what realizing having been lied to and used all your life felt like... how her trust and the love she had held for him was now forever tainted by his deception...

But Odin fell into the _Odinsleep_ , leaving her alone with all the doubts and unanswered questions consuming her... then Gungnir was presented to her and she was installed as temporary ruler in Odin's stead and due to Thor's banishment...

She saw her chance. The moment had come to prove herself. _To be the king he'd always wanted to be. To make Odin see. To make him proud._ In a deluded, misguided and crazy way she wanted to make sure that she could do it. Make Odin proud and realize once and for all that she was just as good as Thor – better even. And she wanted the whole court, every last mocking courtier to bow – to kneel down – to her and regret their snide remarks about her...

She thought that setting up a threat to Odin's life, ensuring he would be the one to save him, would be the perfect plot to show everyone that he was a hero – and then in retaliation he could get rid of all the frost giants and Jotunheim, too – kill two birds with one stone – so that there would never be tale or evidence of his true heritage, plus no realm would ever have to fear them again... _The monsters would cease to exist..._

What she didn't foresee were the small riots with threat of outright war looming from every side when the nine realms got wind of Odin's incapacitation, as well as internal conflicts opposing her rule – especially the Warrior's Three, who were scheming to bring back Thor, threatening to start a civil war...

In the end she was too late to prevent them from getting Thor back and all her carefully laid plans were scattered... Thor and her fought. The Bifrost was destroyed, almost killing the two of them if Odin hadn't been there in time...

But in the end she chose death anyway. It was actually preferable to living. It might have been a cowardly way out to not face the consequences of her actions. But it was more than that. She just saw no future in Asgard. It would mean always coming second, always living in Thor's shadow.

She knew she would be more scorned and mistrusted than before and she just didn't want to face Frigga's disappointment. That would be his undoing... _He didn't want to feel that pain. He just wanted it all to stop..._

But the Norns had different plans... Maybe it was her punishment. What she deserved after what she'd done... Falling from the Rainbow Bridge had send her through the last remnants of the Bifrost's destructive portal and she ended up with the _Chitauri_... and the Dark order... and _Thanos_ of all people... and where an even worse future was in store for him...

God! The pain! It was unbearable... she was falling apart... being rebuild to _his_ liking... reset... entrusted with the _sceptre_ to get him the _Tesseract_... And then when she found it... it affected her in the strangest ways... she found she didn't want it to fall into _Thanos'_ hands...

No – It wasn't just not wanting to, but knowing that it should never ever get to him... She would make sure of that... But the _Sceptre_ was fighting her... the _Tesseract_ messing with her mind as well... Luckily that green beast, if also much too late, finally snapped her out of it for good...

Well, at least, in all of this, she had been able to unite the Avengers... _The Chitauri invasion_ was just a taste... If _Thanos_ actually made it to earth, they would need all the heroes they could get and working together would be the prime necessity...

 _The net is closing in... Ancient, long-forgotten powers have started to stir... Frigga's weaving has fore-told it as well... Two infinity stones on Asgard and the Dark Elves returned – coveting one of them... It is time – Fate's wicked game has only just begun..._

Jane woke with a start. Sweat dampened the front of her tunic and her forehead and her breathing was heavy. She just sat there for several minutes, trying to order her jumbled thoughts and keep the dream pieces from slipping away.

Dawn had already broken, illuminating the small room enough for Jane to see the clothes and small basin of water that someone had left for her while she had slept. She stood up and went over to the basin. The water was cold as ice but Jane appreciated it as she desperately needed to cool down. She felt like she would be burning to cinders any minute now...

It made concentrating and thinking and remembering rather hard. But she definitely was certain that what she'd dreamed hadn't just been random scenes and concoctions of her wild fantasy but actual memories. And she also knew that it couldn't possibly be her own memories, though they felt as if they were... It was the strangest sensation...

But whose memories did she see? And why now? What did it mean?

She grasped for words or names or anything... _Thanos_ – his name had been mentioned a few times, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth and causing a shiver to run down her spine... but there was more... _Jotunheim_ and _Frost Giants_ – blue creatures with blazing red eyes, horrible and yet fascinating to behold...

Whomever the memory stemmed from, he had found out that he was one of them and the realisation had deeply hurt if not destroyed him... especially finding out that he'd been essentially used his entire life... by Odin... who'd called him _his son_. And the feeling of unfairness and anger for always coming second no matter how hard he tried... competing against Thor...

Thor! Yes, there had been mention of Thor aplenty... and their rocky but in essence _loving_ relationship that then ended in them fighting... and Thor destroying the Bifrost in the process... Which must have been that day he had got his powers back... after the Destroyer's attack... on his brother's orders...

His brother... Loki. Loki's memories! – Loki's memories?! How? Why?

 _I told you that this might very well happen... the connection is getting stronger as we speak..._

No way. No freaking way!

Jane felt numb and was in deep denial, but also angry with the universe or whoever had thought that this was a funny thing to do to her... So, she really didn't care and had other things on her mind than accepting and thanking the guard for bringing in some breakfast for her. Instead she crudely and crankily dismissed him. She actually wanted to scream.

But next thing she knew, the guard was knocked out cold out of nowhere. As where the two other guards that had been guarding her door.

To her utter surprise, Sif was standing on the threshold looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"Good. Let's go!" was all she said as greeting and then turned around in one fluid motion to stride back down the hall.

Jane couldn't help but stare after her in awe and slight envy – Sif was certainly badass. Come to think of it, she was such a striking persona she rivalled Thor... She imagined them to be a formidable pair in battle both while on the same side as also opposing each other... A perfect match... And for some reason that last thought didn't disturb her as much as it probably should have in what it implied... God, she was clearly loosing it...

Jane, noticing that Sif was not waiting up on her and that this was clearly a rescue mission she should participate in and rejoice over, quickly jumped up from the chair and sprinted after Sif as fast and inconspicuously as she could. Jane had the feeling it was a highly illegal if not treasonous rescue mission... certainly going against Odin's orders...

And in the heat of the moment and due to being preoccupied with following Sif, Jane forgot all about the previous revelations and realizations for a second...

That is until they entered a hallway at whose end Thor was already waiting for them, and emerging from behind a column was a second pale and dark-haired all to familiar figure...


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel (just in case you thought so^^)

So here we have it – _the scene_ – you know which one – the scene, the moment, I dare say, that everyone started shipping Lokane :D

Well soonish - more in the end but it is there and I have sooo waited to write this single scene and enjoyed it so much - it actually all started with this scene - this whole fic xD

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Loki had awoken from his usual nightmare just before dawn.

Of course he didn't get a good night's sleep when he actually needed it... How foolish of him to have hoped so...

And still... he had felt the impact of the resurfaced memories less acutely... the burden seemed lighter...

If he didn't know any better he would have said it was the feeling one felt after confiding into someone or spilling his heart out. Suddenly your heart and your whole being felt so much lighter and relieved...

But Loki hadn't confided into someone... He had estranged Frigga before she could dig too deep and he had turned Eir away. Thor wasn't even an option for that kind of thing. So, he really didn't know how, all of a sudden, his nightmares didn't shake him as much as before...

 _Oh, yes, you do..._

The Tesseract reminded him and he was forced to remember the empathy link he shared with Jane... Had she shared his nightmare? Did she bear witness to all his foul deeds and deeply rooted fears and insecurities? He was ruined if she had... She would spill it all to Thor... And Loki neither wanted his accusations nor his pity... Nor did he want Jane to know him in that way...

But chances were she wouldn't tell Thor because how would she explain the empathy link?

Of course, he shouldn't assume to know her – how could he? – but he was fairly certain, that if she had been privy to his latest nightmare, she would keep it to herself...

And if he had misjudged her? Or better if she hadn't even shared his nightmares after all? Well, then he would find out about that soon enough, because dawn was approaching...

He got up from his cot and with a few ministrations of his magic donned his ruined tunic and trousers for his favourite gear, cleaning himself up and especially taking care of his hair to look presentable for the task ahead...

Yes, Loki actually hated any kind of dishevelment and uncleanliness and had always made sure his rooms and belongings were polished and spotless and his appearance refined. It showed again the deep impact Frigga's death had had on him as he had completely neglected everything and still rather wanted to keep on sitting in a corner, apathetic towards everything...

No, he wouldn't sink into that hole again. He had a task ahead of him: Help Thor defeat Malekith. Get rid of the Aether and Jane... Afterwards he could brood...

Loki started sifting through the mess that was his cell, looking for anything he might want to take with him or store in his small pocket universe for later retrieval as he was not coming back here. Truly there was not much aside from the books he would solely keep for sentimental reasons as they were the last gifts Frigga had given him.

But that's how he found the small parcel at the corner of his cell.

How he hadn't noticed it before was beyond him. As he knew exactly what it was without having to open it. And he also didn't need the note attached to it to know that Eir had somehow managed to get it past the guards and put it in his cell totally unbeknownst by him...

I've had a feeling you might need this. Use it wisely.

Oh Eir... Stupid, stupid Eir... No... His nightmares, the ever-restrengthening connection to the Tesseract it must have slipped through their shared bond and influenced Eir. The Tesseract must have used the link between them to make her think this was a good idea...

 _What is the matter? We've had such a good time before! I know you can't resist. I am here for the taking, so just pick me up will you?And, yes, you can admit it: This plan of mine was glorious, wasn't it?_

Stop it... Whatever... However you got Eir to release you from the weapons vault... I won't be your pawn anymore!

 _You never where! You were just following the truths I revealed to you! And you liked it... Even now you are still open to me because a part of you refuses to completely relinquish my hold on you...You just won't admit it to yourself..._

Enough! Stop this! I was rid of you! You are just messing with me again... I will not be used again to do your bidding and help you get what you want...

He snatched the parcel from the ground and send it to his pocket dimension. Which, he knew, was the wrong thing to do... He should have just left it lying there, maybe hidden it a bit more so that Thor or the guards would not notice it...

 _No, it was safe and best stored in his pocket dimension..._ If the Dark Elves chose to attack before Thor went through with his plan, it needed to be kept out of their reach as he was certain that Asgard would not withstand another attack and that after regaining the Aether, they would go for the Tesseract...

Besides Odin seemed to think himself above using the Tesseract even in desperate times, so Loki was only making sure that he himself could defend Asgard if need be, by not being above using it.

 _Wise choice. And you can keep on deluding yourself all you like, but I know the truth... I am the Space Stone. Nothing is hidden from me..._

Hubris has killed lesser men... Loki thought and then with one push of his magic he cast the Tesseract to the back of his mind and muted it.

Just in time as Thor appeared in front of his cell and deactivated the magic barrier without so much as a greeting, only a terse nod indicating him to follow him. He didn't bring any magic-restraints. No muzzle. No collar. No handcuffs. Could he possibly be giving him the benefit of the doubt after all?

Well, only one way to find out... Talk to him. Like in old times. Like every time when they prepared to head off into battle. He would joke and fool around to lighten the serious atmosphere. To make Thor laugh and forget about what they were about to embark on for a minute. He had lived for these moments. Loki hated the battle itself, hated fighting, but he'd loved the _preparation_ , the getting-ready, the calm before the storm and filling it with Thor's roaring laughter or even just a broad grin.

But it was not just to ease the atmosphere, that he resumed a giddy stride while trailing alongside Thor and began to grin from ear to ear. It was also because it felt exhilarating to be free! To walk! To finally leave this small, claustrophobic cell behind. Ascending the stairs to the upper levels he felt the change in the air itself. It was fresh and revitalizing and just heaven for his lungs. He was free!

He was in more than good spirits and he wanted Thor to also be as light-headed and carefree for a second: "Well, look at this! At us! Off to battle like in old times, but no fanfares, no farewell committee, no crying maidens anywhere as we head off to battle and possibly our doom...

This is so unlike you brother! So clandestine! Are you sure you wouldn't just rather punch your way out? Just to make a bit of a ruckus? Make some fair maidens faint as they behold you in all your godly glory?"

"If you keep speaking I just might.." Thor gruffly replied. Not a hint of a smile or laughter in sight. Well, sometimes Thor needed a bit more coaxing depending on how dire the matter was. So, as this seemed to count as very dire indeed, Loki didn't despair and just tried harder.

"Fine... as you wish! I'm not even here... Is this better?" he changed into the guard that had brought him the _dreadful news_ just mere hours ago – even his magic felt different than in the confines of his cell... freer, stronger, newer...

Thor only fleetingly looked at him before replying neutrally: "It's better company at least.."

Loki inwardly sighed. Thor was not making this easy: "Still, we could be less conspicuous..."

On a mad and giddy whim he decided to turn Thor into Sif. Partly for his own amusement, partly to see whether he could remember her correctly, as he hadn't seen her the past two years, and also as a subtle hint to Thor.

"Mmm brother – you look ravishing!"

"It will hurt no less when I kill you in this form!" - Loki chuckled but he didn't doubt Thor's words.

He still loved irking Thor and with Jane just around the corner he wanted to make him realize that he shouldn't forget about the other woman in his life that thought dearly of him and probably had only agreed to support this mad plan of his and help him because she still loved him very much... Even after all this time and with him fawning over another woman... a mortal one at that. Sif truly was to be pitied...

But Loki wasn't any better, was he? In trying to rile up Thor, hoping to somehow undermine his relationship with Jane that he so shouldn't have a stake in... Then again, he assuaged himself, he wanted her gone – completely gone – _and therefore he had to cut all her connections to him and Asgard, including Thor... that was the only way..._

"Very well. Perhaps you prefer one of your new companions given that you seem to like them so much!"

Loki actually had a hard time trying not to sound hurt or jealous. It still stung to think about Thor getting to know all these humans and actually connecting and bonding with them... It used to be only him and Thor – a long time ago...

Then the Warrior's Three entered the picture and just shy of Thor's coronation he spend more and more time with Fandral, Volstagg and countless blonde maidens than with him... and he in term isolated himself, trying to drown himself in his studies, before deciding to spoil Thor's coronation in his fit of anger and hurt and disappointment... and his actions afterwards and especially down on earth had then further worn down their bond...

Loki should give up this hope of redeeming himself in Thor's eyes. Their bond would never be the same again anyway... And Loki was certainly to blame for it... He deserved it... And Thor didn't seem to want to mend things either... So, he shouldn't bother... but he couldn't deny that it still hurt...

To mask his grief and hurt feelings and renewed self-loathing he made light of the situation by joking and being the sarcastic, sassy trickster-prince again.

"Oh this is much better!" he tuned into this guy who he vaguely recalled to have been called _Captain America_ – how redundant... "The costume is a bit much though. So tight! But the confidence! I can feel the righteousness surging! Hey! Do you want to have a rousing discussion about truth? Honour? Patriotism? God bless Am...!"

Just as he thought that he had Thor on the brink of smiling – he had definitely seen his eyes twinkling – Thor shushed him up by putting his hand on Loki's mouth and dragged him behind a pillar.

"What?" Loki asked exasperated and looked around and to where Thor's gaze had gone. Guards were just marching down the corridor they had been about to step into... Well-saved Thor...

Still it was a close call... and if they were caught... and his magic wasn't enough especially as it seemed to be depleting a bit faster these days... he had no other weapon to defend himself... "You could at least furnish me with a weapon! My dagger... something!" – he implored to Thor.

As Thor was reaching inside his cloak Loki had the high hopes that he had really succeeded in swaying Thor and making him trust him again. After all their previous banter – although instigated more on Loki's side – had almost felt like in old times. And, of course, because he didn't want to show Thor his weak and emotional side he covered his gratitude with more sass: "At last, a little common sense!"

His smile and chuckle died when Thor, instead of a dagger, put the magical handcuffs on his wrists. Which also stopped him from using magic. Now, if they were to meet enemies, that made him almost completely defenceless...

Was Thor mad? What did he take him for? Did he really no longer trust him and reckoned with him betraying him every second? Hel! If Loki had wanted to he would have been gone or attacked Thor the moment he had disabled the wards around his cell... Why linger and act as if to cooperate? Thor could be so dumb at times... This oaf...

And he had the guts to laugh in Loki's face and think it one big joke: "I thought you liked tricks!"

Loki wanted to strangle him... But he was stopped by the sound of approaching footsteps, one a bit heavier, setting a determined pace, the others lighter and uneven, trying to keep up.

Loki stepped away from the pillar to where Thor already stood in wait and watched as Sif and a small, petite brown-haired woman drew closer. For an inexplicable reason his heartbeat sped up.

.

* * *

.

Sif and Jane reached an intersection of corridors just as Thor and a tall, lean, dark-haired man, who at first looked undeniably handsome, his pallor and slightly sick taint aside, rounded the corner to meet them.

Jane stopped dead in her tracks once she realized just whom Thor had brought with him and who would come along with them to wherever they were headed. Sif hadn't really filled in the details...

All she managed to get out in disbelief as she drew closer to them - to him - was: "You are...!"

… the one whose memories she'd somehow shared this night. Thor's brother. Loki. The God of Mischief. And a _Frost Giant, used by Odin as pawn, anger, betrayal and the need to be understood and loved driving him to make some really bad decisions, falling to disgrace, falling into the void, being tortured, being used again, being punished harsher than he should have..._

No! She wouldn't feel sorry for or pity him! She also had to remember that he was the one that had send the Destroyer to Puerto Antiguo and bestial aliens to New York and terrorized and killed countless people! And he was the one bonded with the Tesseract and because of the Aether's and Tesseract's bond in turn she now shared this weird connection with him... All because of him.. his fault... He was the bad guy!

Jane wanted to be sick...

"Hi, I am Loki..."

And now to have the audacity to put on a pleasant smile and cocky grin and introduce himself this way in light of all the recent events and as if he thought she didn't know him...

And his voice... it definitely was the one from her dream-memories and the one she had heard on the footage after New York. How she hadn't immediately recognized it in her dream was beyond her... It was so deep and hypnotic... It was made to lure you in, make you think he was one of the nice guys... Gosh she had to get a grip!

Loki wasn't a good guy and no amount of flirting and pleasantry would change that. Besides, Jane had a score to settle. Unassuming and unaware of her churning thoughts, Loki went on, "... you may have heard of..."

That was it. The last straw. She wouldn't just take his cocky grin and shameless, even flirtatious behaviour. She would make him pay – in her own way – for what he'd done. Especially for Erik! Yes, how could she forget Erik!... and, of course, the many people he had killed... all that he'd destroyed...

So she did the only thing she could to show him what she thought of him: She slapped him. A weird tingle spread from her hand through her whole body making her heart flutter. She reasoned that it was just her hand stinging because she'd hit his stupid, sharp cheekbone... And the glee and exhilaration she felt was just due to the fact that she had actually slapped him - a god, the most wanted criminal of earth, known psychopath and murderer, and would get away with it...

To mask her irritation she quickly added the first thing that came to her mind: "That was for New York!"

Damn... There was so much more she wanted to say. Something more witty than that... And he deserved so many more slaps to his ridiculously perfect face – For Puerto Antiguo. For Erik. For New York. For Thor. And also for her – sanity and being bonded to him... But she wouldn't risk touching him again... afraid that tingling feeling would course through her again... afraid because part of her had enjoyed it...

Gosh... That was just the newest low for her... How and why did she come to deserve that?

 _Because you're more alike than you know... And you were fated..._

Fate? Are you kidding me? There is no such thing as fate. And it sure as hell doesn't determine who I get to _bond_ with... Especially not if it includes a maniacal psychopath...

 _Only that this is not who he really is... You saw his dreams tonight... his nightmares and memories that haunt him... and you know he's called the trickster? A very talented illusionist? Truth and Lies blend so easily for him... it does for all who can manipulate the universe to their whims. And I should know as I am master and creator of that same gift...the reality shaper, remember?_

Then why don't you jump over there and bond with him and leave me the hell out of this? I didn't ask for this! And I am not going to be as easily swayed like that! He still killed people! And I don't care whether his feelings were hurt at the time...

 _You think you know all there is to know. The truth. But you don't. You only saw a glimpse, a fraction! Not the whole picture nor causality... His hurt feelings and insecurities might have started it all but after ending up with Thanos things got twisted... You've experienced some of the horrors he faced there, don't deny or disregard it, you can't just ignore something like that and I know that you felt it... the pain... it was only a fraction as well..._

 _And my brother the mind stone had him in his clutches as well... And then he bonded with the Tesseract – bonded with an infinity stone for the first time, and in a weak state of mind that can turn out to be quite disastrous... And his mind, though he is certainly strong, was a mess at the time..._

STOP MAKING ME PITY HIM! Stop explaining and justifying his actions! I don't care... I don't...

 _Lying to yourself won't solve anything..._

I am not lying to myself...

– except for the fact, that she was...

.

* * *

.

"I like her!"

Loki had recovered quickly from the sudden blow, but slower than he was used to. He always was prepared for any situation, he should have seen something like that coming from miles away – but he hadn't... Jane had slapped him... this tiny, fragile, insignificant mortal had slapped him! A god! A prince and would-be-king!

Yes... she had slapped him – this supposedly tiny and weak woman... except she wasn't – she was strong – judging by her formidable right hook – she was defiant, feisty, tough, admirable in her convictions and bravery to strike a god... Yes, she was a force to be reckoned with.

He liked that. Very much. It was making for a good challenge.

And so he grinned down at her and tried to communicate to her that she could consider him impressed in the only, subtle way he could, by turning to Thor and saying: "I like her."

God forbid if he'd told her directly "I like you" – Thor would have been in his face sooner than he could say Bildgesnipe... especially after making it very clear that he would watch his every move and that he wanted him to stay well away from Jane.

Funnily enough Thor did just the opposite then, in joining Sif and assessing the situation with her he left Jane and him standing there... together... secluded... closer than necessary.

He had assumed her to immediately take several steps away from him. Instead, she stood her ground and stared at him.

He did the same.

So that was her then... the Midgardian … Thor's mortal woman… _Jane_. In the flesh. And so close...

The one the Tesseract and his mother had prophesied would be his other half... The one he shared an actual, pure empathy link with...

He couldn't deny that seeing her – finally for real – and being so close to her – and, yes, that goddamn slap certainly was to blame, too … it all melted away his resolve to hate her, to get rid of her and then be done with this whole mess...

But no, instead he found himself drawn to her. It was an effort to stay put and not say something. He had this strange urge to lean closer, to touch her hair, feel the texture of it, to stroke her cheek and...

His eyes shortly travelled to her lips then up to her eyes again...

He was going mad!

Nothing of what he'd done so far equalled the madness of his thoughts right now. This right here was _truly_ madness!

* * *

She watched him, still shocked and in denial over what that dream and the Aether had just revealed to her and what her slapping Loki had done to her... – this tingling sensation, this jolt of recognition, of excitement and euphoria that had accompanied it... It were the Aether's feelings she told herself... but they felt so much like her own...

And now Thor was off to the side talking with Sif, oblivious to the way Loki was staring at her unabashedly and with that infuriating smile playing around his lips – as if he found something about this highly amusing. She wanted to smack him again to wash it of his face. That smile – his eyes boring into her – it was driving her _mad_!

And what was even more irksome was her sudden lack of desire to slap him, but instead finding herself wanting... needing to, instead, bring her hands to his face only to bury them in his raven-black hair, running her fingers through it, lean closer and...

He looked at her lips – it was a quick movement – barely perceptible – but she still caught it just when her gaze shifted to his lips as well, her heart beating frantically in her chest.

What the hell was wrong with her?

* * *

He noticed her staring at him, too, her lips slightly opened, her cheeks flushed and her huge eyes full of questions and confusion … and desire...

The Aether seemed to make her find him enticing, just as the Tesseract made him loose his head over her.

And that snapped him out of it: The Tesseract – The Aether – Not him – Not Jane. They were toying with them! Using them!

Loki didn't desire her! He didn't want her! She had got his mother killed!

Technically it hadn't been her but the Aether... and that made it by default the Tesseract's fault, which ultimately made it him who was to blame... But he was full of enough self-loathing to last several life-times and he needed her to take the blame – for once he wanted someone else to take it...

And, well, if she hadn't been so damn curious, she wouldn't have found the Aether and been consumed by it and if she hadn't been so... well, _whatever_ to get Thor's attention to be the one Midgardian he decided to have a fling with then she wouldn't even have come here and Asgard wouldn't have been the planet attacked by Malekith and his forces...

So, yes, she was responsible – if only partly and if only by bad luck – but it still made her responsible...

And Thor! Norns above! She was with Thor! Always and forever would be – even if he chose to discard her, she would remain out of bounds.

At least that was what Loki adamantly told himself to keep his distance and not fall for her... further...

Though the damage was already done...

* * *

She must have hit her head or something... Jane – wanting to kiss Loki? Even standing this close to him should have repulsed her!

He was a murderer! A raging psychopath! A madman!

He had destroyed her as-good-as-hometown Puente Antiguo and later New York! He had killed innocent people and he had caused Erik to suffer the psychological damage inflicted by the Sceptre and working with the Tesseract – Erik, who was not only her mentor, but also surrogate father in any way that counted.

She would never forgive him for that... She could not...

Calling these things back to her mind helped her clear her head. At least a little.

And then Thor was already putting his hand on the small of her back and signalled her to follow him. At the gesture Loki's eyes flamed up and Jane's heart did a somersault. But he didn't say anything. Neither did she, as her stomach convulsed and she felt the mad urge to slap Thor's hand away...

And then Loki sneered at her, snapped through the moment, and it seemed as if nothing had ever happened. As if the minute they had been staring at each other, while Thor and Sif had been talking logistics, had been a fever dream and nothing more. And she cast him an angry glare as well, before following Thor without a backwards glance.

* * *

This damn mortal! She wouldn't get under his skin like that again and the Tesseract and Aether would regret their little charade dearly...

So he did what he, apparently, did best: Lie and Deceive.

He put up a wicked smile to scare her off and to spurt Thor into taking extra care not to let him come to close to Jane and reminding her that he was there... She seemed to have forgotten all about Thor for a second there. She might not admit it to herself – but he had felt it – her subtle jolt at his touch...

He watched them head to the ship, suddenly realizing what they were about to embark on. It was highly dangerous not to mention that it would not just be luck but also coincidence that would decide victory or defeat. Jane could very well die... He could die, too – but he wasn't scared of that possibility, had accepted it as one probable outcome. But he found himself oddly scared about the prospect of Jane being killed...

Loki made to finally follow them, but hadn't noticed Sif staying behind until he found her sword at his throat. He grinned at her and chuckled to quickly mask that she'd caught him unawares.

"If you betray him, I will kill you!", she vowed, dead-serious.

"It's good to see you, too, Sif" was all he replied, winking at her.

He liked the fact that he still got under her skin. She didn't hide her blush as well as she thought she did. But noticing that didn't give him the same satisfaction it had given him every other time he had teased her about loving Thor or that being a woman would always make her less of a warrior in Asgard, even after showing she was better than most.

She had never taken it for the praise and subtle hint it was - that she was a strong, independent woman that didn't need to fawn after Thor or anyone nor care about the court whispers - no, she had called him a misogynist instead. Though he was anything but that. In fact he had always loathed the way Asgardian men seemed to look down on women... Even Odin had not considered Frigga his equal...

When he thought of his mother – or of Eir and Sif – he couldn't help but be impressed and in awe. They were so much stronger, purer at heart and better than many men – him included. They deserved the world to kneel to them – not Odin or any former king – even, and especially, because they would never demand it do so...

But it was pointless telling Sif that as she would consider it a lie and mockery of his anyway... So he just lifted his eyebrows at her in question and demand and waited for her to lift her sword and let him pass, before trailing after Thor and Jane towards the Dark Elves' ship.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters (just in case you thought so^^)

Alright this is just another tie-over chapter - I promise it will get interesting soon and towards Lokane interaction as we're also nearing the events of Svartalfheim.

I just like to stay as close to canon as possible as it makes the whole situation and fic more authentic and as near to being _real_ as possible but it also leads to some inaccuracies and holes and it takes ages to think up how to proceed and write this damn thing... so sorry again for taking so long... I'm currently stuck on how to proceed with the Infinity Stones as some plot holes and inconsistencies have arisen that I don't know how to deal with as of now...

And at this point I also want to thank everyone that has reviewed this fic again! You really are awesome and an inspiration to help me write this fic to conclusion 3

That applied for all the other readers and followers as well - you make this worth it 3

Now enjoy!

* * *

"If you even think about betraying him..."

"You'll kill me?" Loki drawled, eyebrows raised, a carefree, sneer dancing around the corners of his mouth, "Evidently there will be a line."

 _How heart-warming to know that Thor's friends were still so utterly, and so delusionally, loyal to his brother. How hilarious that they thought they could kill him..._

And how ludicrous that he had ever even thought or hoped that they were his friends too... They never had been. They had always revered Thor and reluctantly abided his presence...

And it was grating on his nerves that they all thought betraying Thor was second nature to him and his favourite pastime... they had seen the two of them grow into adulthood, knew how close they had always been, at least, until certain events had unfolded. And, moreover, if Loki had wanted Thor dead, he could have easily killed him down on earth...

Then again the warrior's three had never been very bright and open-minded towards him and had held their own preconceived ideas about him...

Painful memories resurfaced... of them poking fun at him, teasing him... And Thor? He hadn't always successfully hidden the fact that he found their snide remarks funny, too.

If anything they had helped drive a wedge between him and Thor, facilitating his slowly festering anger and jealousy towards him that was the core reason why he had ruined Thor's coronation in the first place and the rest that followed was simple causation... Oh, these hypocrites...

 _One earlier memory was from back when he had started practising magic with Frigga in the morning... He had gotten particularly good at conjuring up random objects and then duplicating them at the time. But the duplicates always remained insubstantial and vanished as soon as you touched them..._

 _So he had kept on practising on his own down in Frigga's gardens long after his mother had had to attend a court meeting. He was just so fascinated by the workings, the strings of magic that were his to control, the amazing feeling that was left in the wake of using magic._

 _He had conjured up one of the golden apples that could be found in the orchard, and kept on duplicating it over and over again until the clones didn't just look exactly alike, but were also solid enough to eat and then tasted just like the original. Next thing he went on to duplicate the flowers from Frigga's personal flower bed. He wanted to present her a bouquet of her favourite flowers without having to destroy her work._

" _Ah look! What do we have here? A little princessplaying with flowers!" burly Volstagg's – even in early adolescence – booming voice thundered through the garden._

 _Loki looked up to find Thor, his new friends and Lady Sif walking towards him – probably on their way to the training grounds. Ever since Thor had decided to train with the other warrior novices instead of just with Loki, he had spent more and more time with them in the training grounds. And Loki, who thought combat training to be rather dull and stupid anyway, had decided to study the arts of manipulating Seidr with their mother._

 _He was so used to training with Thor, and only Thor, them playing and fighting together, that the thought of sharing his friendship with other warriors irked him. Also he was aware that Thor's fighting skills were superior to his and being bested by Thor in private was okay but he didn't want to be humiliated in front of the other warriors..._

 _He could imagine it vividly, them clapping Thor on his shoulders,applauding and congratulating him – the golden, shining winner, and him lying in the dirt while they snickered and whispered to each other about his incompetence... No thanks, he didn't need that. He would instead find something he excelled at first, something wherein he could best Thor and earn their and Odin's praise..._

 _Thor was grinning and shaking his head at Volstagg in a light-hearted reprimand: "Volstagg...really..."_

" _Oh! Prince Loki, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize it was you!" Volstagg excused his comment, it neither felt sincere nor serious._

" _I think it's high time you let your eyes be inspected, Volstagg!" Thor tried to diffuse the situation – part of him still realised that his comment had been inappropriate and insulting for addressing a prince of the realm,"You could very well confuse friend and foe on the battlefield with such sore eyesight!"_

" _Well, with the hair and flowers it is difficult to tell...", Fandral added in Volstagg's defence smirking, joining in on the teasing._

 _Thor snorted: "Come on now, you two, enough... But seriously though, brother, you are in dire need of a haircut!"_

 _Loki hadn't let his hair be cut in a while and it was reaching just past his chin now. He was immediately self-conscious and stuck the strands behind his ear to give the appearance of short hair._

 _The trend of males having long hair was only just emerging and Loki had thought to try it out... With age 500 he had felt experimental and also slightly rebellious towards court norms and the strict rules princes had to follow. Being taught in the art of combat instead of magic was also one of those rules..._

" _And why were you not in the sparing grounds earlier? I was wondering where you had disappeared off to all afternoon and why you missed our training lesson," Thor asked him accusingly, "And now I find you here, picking out flowers!"_

" _I didn't feel like javelin throwing... I don't like spears – daggers and small swords are preferable... but, still, why even fight with swords at all if you can just confuse your opponents by using magic? It's so much quicker and less bloody..." Loki explained himself, what felt like the umpteenth time, they just never seemed to listen or remember..._

 _Volstagg snorted: "Pah! Magic. That's a cowards and woman's weapon! The honour of battle can only be attained by striking your enemies down using your own forte! And certainly not by throwing flower crowns at them..."_

" _Then I guess we have to agree to disagree, dear Volstagg... Though I still fail to see how magic is a woman's weapon as I don't see Lady Sif making any use of it and even if she did I'd wager she'd, still, easily beat you in a duel," Loki remarked scowling at them and trying to suppress his anger._

 _Lady Sif had yet to say something he realized. She always was the polite one of Thor's new friends, rather staying in the background, not yet partaking in their banter. Then again she was quite a novelty as she was the first girl to pursue the warrior's path and had to deal with all kinds of prejudices and mockery herself. That's why Loki held the high hopes that she would realize that they were not so different and in the same boat. She had certainly enamoured him and Loki had to admit his heart sped up a bit every time he saw her these days._

 _Really she wasn't special. Same blonde hair as all the other maidens around court, wearing dresses and attending the women's courses and parlour sessions when she wasn't in the training grounds. But that was it: She went to the training grounds, took the same fighting and weapon's lesson as he and Thor, stood her ground in the sparring ring and proved that she wasn't just any girl._

 _He couldn't for the life of him understand why Lady Sif even put up with Thor and the other three. They were insulting and degrading towards women even if they laid it out as simple jests and excusing it by excluding Lady Sif because she was different because she trained with them. But that didn't excuse their hurtful remarks in the slightest._

 _Sif blushed slightly, quickly looking away from him to the ground and then to Thor: "I would never start a fight with Volstagg or any opponent in such a deceitful manner, knowing they are at a disadvantage from the start. I want my victory to be honourable and gained through stamina and combat-skill not trickery. That's why I chose the noble warriors path instead of scholarly Seidr education."_

" _Hear hear!" Volstagg laughed. Loki couldn't believe his ears._

 _He huffed, stood up from where he'd been sitting until now and scowled at Sif: "Well, let us hope that your opponents prove to be as noble-hearted on the battlefield Lady Sif and that you lot never have to face the High-Elves of Alfheim. A good day to you!" – he curtly inclined his head before striding off to the palace._

 _The most recent memory was from back when they had headed towards the Bifrost to go to Jotunheim. Loki had tried to smoothly get Heimdall to let them pass, but the latter had then confronted him about having been out of his sight._

 _And while Loki had tried to talk his way out of the accusation Thor had just crudely and harshly stopped him and put him aside to handle the situation. It was just typical Thor. Impatient. Boisterous. Rash. If things didn't immediately go his way he took matters into his own hand no matter the consequences or whom it affected. Loki had taken a moment to handle the indirect dismissal and simmer down his anger and hatred for Thor at that moment._

 _If he had had any lingering doubts about having led the frost giants into the vault and disrupting Thor's coronation they vanished that instant. It had been the right decision, the best plan of action. And he would see it through to the end. Show Odin that Thor wasn't ready, that he wasn't going to be a good king..._

 _He just wanted to head past Heimdall after Thor and the others, when Volstagg strolled past, turning towards him, grinning that stupid grin of his: "What happened? Silver-tongue turned to lead?"_

 _He wanted to smack that infuriating grin from his face then and there. Make him grovel on the floor and beg for forgiveness for talking to a prince of Asgard thus. For every snide, mocking remark he'd ever made about Loki. But instead he stayed calm. His time would come. The day when he would make him pay... Make all of them pay who had ridiculed him all his life..._

 _He so hoped this trip to Jotunheim would finally get them all off their high horses and make them realise weapons alone weren't gonna defeat the frost giants, or any foe for that matter, but that his magic and trickery proved to do the trick and that using Seidr was advantageous and nothing that need be frowned upon..._

 _And for once he just wanted them to see him, to realize they had been wrong all along about him only being Thor's little, weak, maverick brother... and he wanted them to see where their foolish loyalty to Thor's rash decisions and pride led them... That he wasn't the golden, shining prodigy all made him out to be..._

Loki returned back to the present and with a last disdainful smirk in Volstagg's direction he pushed forward and Volstagg finally lowered his arm to let him pass and board the ship. Good riddance. If it was one thing he wouldn't miss about Asgard the Warrior's Three certainly made the top of the list. Next to Odin, of course.

He finally entered the huge, dark ship, directly after Jane and certainly too close for comfort. He was acutely aware of her. Now hat they were on so close quarters the empathy link was certainly strongest. He could feel the Aether pulsing through her veins, calling out to him – to the Tesseract. And even though it was stored in that pocket universe of his it managed to reach through to him, if also weakly, trying to call back...

Loki quickly stepped as far away from her as possible. Even with the Tesseract in his pocket dimension he wasn't taking his chances with her and the Aether. They couldn't let those two Infinity Stones get too close or unite at all... Their mutual reaction to her slapping him was already indication enough that contact strengthened their bond. So as long as they didn't touch each other they should be good and that wasn't so hard now, was it?

The distrustful, scowling look she sent his way was all the confirmation he needed and his answering smirk made sure she stayed as far away from him as possible, too.

Loki, after realizing that some time had past and the ship was still not in motion, made his way over to Thor: "I thought you said you knew how to fly that thing..."

Really... Leave it to Thor to make a plan that was faulty on all ends...

"I said _'How hard could it be?'_ " Thor crisply replied and started randomly pushing all the buttons on the control panel. Loki sighed. If he would just take off the handcuffs Loki could start this whole thing using Seidr... but he knew, without having to ask, that Thor still mistrusted him too much for that...

"Well, whatever you're doing brother I suggest you do it faster..." Loki could hear the grunting of soldiers and clashing of swords and weapons outside and men calling to head for the ship. They were out of time. Either Thor managed to start this ship right now or he'd soon join Loki in his prison cell...

"Shut up Loki..."

"Language, brother... Is that any way to talk to me after not visiting me once this past year?" Loki scolded him, "I certainly imagined our _reunion_ going a lot differently..."

"This is neither the time nor place to discuss this Loki..." Thor growled, frantically slamming on all the buttons he could find.

"No. But you've had ample _time_ to come visit me at my _place_ throughout this past year. Frigga kept me well informed about your whereabouts and doings and the noise from every victory festivity reached the dungeons I assure you... So don't tell me you were constantly off-world fighting and didn't have the time... You did. You just didn't bother or care to come see me though you easily could have..."

His gaze shifted to Jane. Subconsciously he included her in this rant. And part of him wanted to make her aware of the fact that Thor wasn't all the shining hero and prince charming she thought him to be. She deserved to know the truth before she fully committed herself to his brother...

Though, why he cared was beyond him. He shouldn't care. He still got a score to settle with her for causing this mess... Yes, it wasn't concern... No, he wanted to rile her up!

And he felt it. Her doubt. Wondering whether what he said was true, and if Thor had indeed had time to use freely, why hadn't he visited her sooner? He liked how his words affected her and made her squirm...

Thor finally replied and Loki turned to look back at him: "And why would I? What could you possibly have had to say to me? Or I to you?"

A lot actually... there was so much he had needed Thor to know and wanted to get of his chest. Explanations, justifications, apologies... Now he never would. There wasn't time, they really had to get going and get this mission over with... and afterwards Loki would be gone... And, besides, he doubted that Thor would listen to him anyway... or understand for that matter...

Suddenly he also noticed that small part – the one that was influenced by Jane – wondering as to why Thor hadn't visited him, too, and why he hadn't found it imperative to talk to him... _she didn't have any siblings... but if it had been Darcy, or even Erik... she would have wanted to know, to talk to them and find out where they'd gone wrong... why they'd done the things they had and how it had ever gotten so far out of hand..._ Was that empathy? Why was she suddenly empathetic... no she had to stop that!

Thor snapped him out of his stupor again: "Now, you would do well to help me get this thing started! Volstagg can't hold them off forever..."

Loki scoffed: "Take of the hadncuffs and I gladly will! But, by all means it should have started up already... You must have missed something..."

"No, I won't and no, I didn't. I'm pressing every button on this thing..." Thor insisted adamantly, slamming his hands on several buttons yet again.

Loki cringed at the brusque handling and feared that Thor might very well blow them to smithereens if he continued this way: "No, no don't hit it! Just press it gently!"

"I am pressing it gently!", Thor growled incensed, "It's not working!"

And whatever button had done the trick or whether the ship itself had just taken a while longer to start up, it suddenly whirred to live. Just in time – Loki could hear and feel the Einherjar running for the ship and trying to board it. But before they could Thor miraculously managed to get it airborne and off they were. Downing a few more columns in their wake. It was truly a wander that the throne room was still standing...

"I think you missed a column..." Loki told him, trying to diffuse the tension that had built up due to their heated exchange.

Thor accepted the peace offering: "Shut up, Loki..."

He dared to venture further, trying his luck: "So, why don't you let me take over? I'm clearly the better pilot..."

Thor's tolerance level sadly didn't span any further: "I don't think so. Between the two of us – who is the one that can actually fly?"

Loki just prepared to reply that if he wanted to he could, too, it would just take a massive amount of Seidr he didn't want to waste in such a way, when, suddenly, he noticed the Aether's raw power surge. He wasn't sure what had caused the reaction... But next thing he knew Jane had collapsed onto the floor.

Loki wanted to rush over to her to see if she was fine and, maybe, try to sooth her again like he had done from down in his cell when she'd visited Eir.

It took him a heartbeat too long to remember that he wasn't meant to care for her, that she was Thor's problem... and wouldn't want him fussing over her anyway, so instead of concern he managed to ask with cynicism: "Oh dear is she dead?"

"Jane!" Thor called her name, oddly it sounded more like a command then a voice laced with concern or worry.

"I'm okay..." was all she managed to reply weakly before loosing consciousness again.

Loki gritted his teeth. He would not fall for it. He would not let himself care... _Jane deserved it. Just let her die already. Then he could grab the Aether himself and be off with two Infinity Stones. The Power he could wield! Especially after uniting them!_

No! That was not what he wanted! That was the Tesseract's voice and the Aether's subtle influence, trying to make him unite them... which he was determined not to let happen!

Also he couldn't let Jane die because she was important to Thor and he didn't want him to hurt. Despite everything Loki still considered Thor his brother and cared for him whether Thor reciprocated the sentiment or not.

Also, part of him had to admit, Jane was far too interesting to lose to the dark void of death. She actually had the mindset and tools to understand Seidr and, for a human, was almost on par with him knowledge-wise – she was so much brighter than any other human he had met. It would be a damn waste if she was gone...

So he, concentrated hard and gathered all his Seidr, all his cursed, inherent frost giant powers and sent it down that bond they shared to give her strength, to steady her weak human heart and help her bear the Aether's raw, burning power, hoping that the cuffs would not interfere...


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters (Just in case you thought so^^)

Thanks everyone for the lovely reviews! You warm my hearts and give me new motivation to get this down and kick myself in the ass to stay strong and not give this up and we are getting there: D I've written more in these past weeks then in any of the months before so that does have to count for something :D

So here is a little of Jane's story, getting to terms with that bond - sort of ^^

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Jane had a hard time staying focused and calm as she followed Thor... and Loki... She was surprised that she even remembered to thank Volstagg for what he was doing and risking for them by nodding and smiling at him when she walked by, blindly following Thor into the Dark Elves' discarded ship – that actually looked a little worse for wear and made her wonder how Thor could possibly get it to fly, but she trusted him... and maybe that was why he had brought Loki with him...

And speaking of the damn devil, he was entering the ship just a little behind her and she was awfully aware of his presence... remembering that weird moment between them she quickly made her way to the opposite side of the ship from him. And just for good measure Jane scowled at him, too, which he met with a simple smirk.

Her thoughts were still churning and her feelings an utter mess. She was _bonded_ to Loki! Just because she had been unfortunate enough to become the Aether's host and because Loki was connected to the Tesseract and, now, these two ancient, alien forces wanted to get it on... And that apparently, also enabled her to share his dreams and feelings...

And they weren't just bonded... but _fated_ , the Aether had told her... _two sides of the same coin... similar_... She still had a hard time believing any of that. She just didn't believe in fate and predestination... and being similar to Loki? Hell not!

Why her? And why Loki?

Was this some cruel joke? Could this be the reckoning for her first response to seeing the footage of New York and being told what happened there and to Erik? Because back then, the very first thing on her mind had not been shock and sadness for the destruction and loss of life, but disbelief and anger... directed at S.H.I.E.L.D. for carting her off to Norway and not including her in the Tesseract project from the start.

She had wondered why she hadn't been the one that had gotten the chance to study the Tesseract. Why had it been Erik? – Einstein-Rosen-Bridges were her field of study after all! And they had used her theories to make that portal work – her Foster-theory! It was unfair!

And her second thought had been: Why had Thor's brother – _Loki_ – this sickly-pale looking, dark-haired psychopath – even attacked earth? Why had he suddenly decided humans needed to be subjugated and put under his rule?

Of course, she hadn't been surprised exactly. After all, he had been the one to send the Destroyer to Puente Antiguo and had tried to kill Thor... but even back then she had wondered why Loki had even done _that_...

She had remembered Thor talking to her, back on that dessert plain outside her trailer – not just about Yggdrasil but also about his family, how fond he was of them and that he missed them, especially his brother – Loki. And it had sounded like their brotherly love for each other was a mutual thing... Thor had described him as the best brother, who, though tricks and mischief were his speciality, was actually a little shy, more of a scholar instead of a warrior and a good guy.

A description that stood so at odds with the Loki that had then sent the Destroyer to kill Thor...

And another thing that had bothered her after the events in Puente Antiguo was that, yes, Loki had sent the Destroyer to kill _Thor_ – but not necessarily the towns people – and the destruction it had wrought had also been caused by its effort to get Thor to out himself and as consequence of the Warrior's Three and Sif fighting it, instead of a deliberate attempt to level the city.

Also, Loki hadn't made a move on _earth_ that day, although he easily could have done so, but, instead, he had recalled the Destroyer after it had, supposedly, killed Thor and only returned a whole year later and started this alien invasion...

So, naturally, taking all this into consideration, her curiosity had been piqued and she had asked herself why Loki had suddenly decided to not just attack but even kill Thor – his brother, who thought the world of him – in the first place? And why had he then, and after a year had passed no less, suddenly decided to take over earth? What had made him do all these horrible things and decisions?

So, after seeing the footage, she had, secondly, wished for the chance to interrogate him. She had wanted to understand his inner psyche and what had driven him and made him do what he had done to Thor, Puente Antiguo and New York...

Now, it seemed her stupid wish had been granted – with a sour twist to it... like in the old tales about Djinn wishes... and if that was to be the universe's sense of humour, it was not funny – not at all. That was so not what she had had in mind when making these subconscious wishes...

But no matter how hard she tried to deny it she couldn't shake the feeling of excitement and satisfaction... remembering everything that _dream_ had revealed to her... Here, now, she had finally gotten answers to all her burning questions and a glimpse into his persona and the reasons he had done all these awful things...

And with it came understanding and sympathy and a sense of unease and doubt... Because it jumbled up everything she had thought she knew and needed to know about him, too...

She had seen what had happened to Loki... that he had been used and lied to, ridiculed and hurt... then he had ended up with this weird dude _Thanos_ and something that in a grotesque and horrific sense looked like Squidward from Spongebob... he had been tortured and manipulated by them and used again...

Yes, his actions, both in Puente Antiguo and New York, had been bad and were inexcusable... but she couldn't disregard the fact that all of this, in its entirety, had been one major, cataclysmic snowball effect that had been caused by his excessive, pent-up envy, rage, sense of betrayal and need for love and recognition that fed his grand delusions of doing the right thing in order to get the praise and love he so craved...

And, thinking it through, hadn't she been to some extent in similar shoes?

Becoming an astrophysicist, working on her theories with the die-hard wish to become a renowned scientist just like Banner and Stark – or even better. Being a woman in a field of men, who were ridiculing her, discarding her ideas, always putting her second to some other male scientist that sometimes even didn't know sh**...

Then S.H.I.E.L.D came along only to nearly destroy her life's work... and afterwards they offered her a job which basically also just entailed using her and keeping her in the dark most of the time...

Yes, she knew what envy, rage and betrayal and unaccredited ambition felt like...

And, then, in New York, it hadn't been him at all – or not fully at least – but the sceptre, Thanos and the Tesseract using him... And how could she question or doubt Loki being used by the Tesseract and the Sceptre? When the Aether had used her in the same way and she hadn't even consciously been aware of it for a short while and had had to use all her will power to fight it?

And hadn't that little act of defiance taken a lot of her energy? So, imagine having been tortured, being in pain, being weak and exhausted and then being handed the Sceptre and Tesseract... Even a god, wouldn't have stood a chance...

Of course, she definitely didn't go through half of what Loki went through... and his actions had still caused a lot of destruction, death and pain... but oddly enough she did understand... she could relate... And maybe, if he was given a chance to explain and to do better – if he was offered a second shot and redemption... maybe he could be _good_. Maybe he could gain forgiveness...

Jane turned to look back at him then, trying to apply this whole new perception that she had gained of him onto the man before her. She wanted to see whether there was something – an expression – anything to give her a hint as to whether there was really any good in him... anything _human beneath_ the wicked features or whether she was crazy for believing he was worth redemption.

 _Human_... Capable of _emotions_... feeling... Hadn't she felt what he had felt as if it were her own emotions? The anger, the hurt, the disbelief... the torture... and, oh god! The unbearable grief, the blame and self-loathing that she had felt and hadn't been able to explain...

It had been Loki's reaction to the news of Frigga's death... He had griefed because she had not just been Thor's mother... she had been his, too... He had lost his mother... and thinking back to the funeral... he hadn't been there! He hadn't been allowed to attend the funeral!

No matter what Loki might have done, whether justified or not, to ban him from attending the funeral of his mother, of someone he held very dear, was despicable, and, oh yes, judging by the grief and rage she had felt, she knew the two of them had been very close...

She also remembered her talk with Frigga when Jane had asked her why she knew so much about the Aether, Frigga had told her about her gift of perception and how the Tesseract and Aether weren't so different and that mother's noticed the changes in their own children maybe more astutely... Frigga had known... about the Tesseract and Loki... had stood by him and tried to help him after his imprisonment... as opposed to Odin and Thor... and when the Dark Elves had attacked she had asked Thor not to protect her and Jane but to look after Loki...

They had been really close... and her loss had hit Loki deep... he had loved her so much...

And she also remembered that both Sif and Volstagg had threatened Loki before entering the ship, to ensure that he wouldn't betray Thor, which he had just laughed away. His laugh had seemed carefree even mocking, his reply had been a sarcastic remark.

It would have made her mistrust him and slap him again if Jane hadn't also felt his anger and the exasperation beneath the act, that had clearly screamed at Volstagg and them all that he wouldn't betray Thor – certainly could if he wanted to, but wouldn't and had no reason to – uncomprehending why they could not see that Thor was dear to him...

And now finally listening in on their conversation – their banter. It felt normal and mirrored Darcy's and her teasing dialogues... Loki loved his brother... thought the world of him, too, in fact. He just couldn't show it as openly... and especially not after everything that had happened... It should have been enough to convince her of Loki's human heart, of his worthiness for forgiveness and redemption. She just had a hard time accepting all this as it opposed everything she had come to believe...

.

"Language, brother... Is that any way to talk to me after not visiting me once this past year? I certainly imagined our _reunion_ going a lot differently..." she heard Loki saying, now, which interrupted her thoughts and returned her attention to the present.

Thor hadn't visited Loki once since he had taken him back to Asgard? Why not?

And then she remembered that, of course, Thor couldn't have visited him because he had been off-world! He had told her that he'd had to restore peace in the Nine Realms after Loki's actions and the destruction of the Bifrost had disrupted it... And he had probably only just returned and then all the stuff with the Aether had happened... it was awful timing...

"This is neither the time nor place to discuss this Loki..." Thor growled and Jane agreed, they had to get started... but still... damn her curiosity... something about this was nagging at her.

"No. But you've had ample _time_ to come visit me at my _place_ throughout this past year. Frigga kept me well informed about your whereabouts and doings and the noise from every victory festivity reached the dungeons I assure you... So don't tell me you were constantly off-world fighting and didn't have the time... You did. You just didn't bother or care to come see me though you easily could have..."

Jane looked from Thor to Loki. He stared at her intently, his eyes telling her all kinds of things: That he was sorry, that it was the truth, that she should know, that Thor wasn't all the Prince Charming she had fallen head over heels for, that he had lied to her, that he had not just not visited Loki, but also kept her waiting...

So, if she hadn't found the Aether would he even have ever come back to her?

Doubt and disbelief gnawed at her... could this be true? Was Loki telling the truth or playing with her? He was still the god of mischief and lies after all...

But why would he? What was his stake in this? Rile her up to get back at Thor? But why would he want to? Just a few seconds ago he had proven that he was capable of love and cared for Thor and that the thought of betraying him appalled him...

Unless, of course, he was pissed at Thor... for not visiting him, for dismissing him and their brotherly bond so easily...

Thor finally replied: "And why would I? What could you possibly have had to say to me? Or I to you?"

Jane noticed that he didn't object to Loki's accusation... So, Loki had actually told the truth... Thor had been back to Asgard on several occasions. He had had the time and opportunity to choose to visit her. But he hadn't. Why?

It didn't necessarily have had to be a long visit... It would have been enough if he'd just stopped by to explain what had happened after he had returned to Asgard and why he had been gone a whole year, to tell her if he was alright and whether he would return at a later point or not at all...

That would have been really nice... Because, as opposed to him, she didn't have eternity that could easily make up for year spent in self-pity, heart-ache and neglecting her life...

And then there was still the matter of Loki... She could, maybe, even understand Thor not visiting her, as she had basically just been a random, human girl he'd known for a couple of days, easily forgettable and discarded. But Loki was his brother and had been for who knew how long – a couple centuries at least, she guessed...

So, why hadn't he at least paid him a visit? Loki had literally been imprisoned beneath his feet... It wouldn't have taken him long to go down there...

Jane didn't have any siblings but if it had been Darcy, or even Erik, she would have wanted to know, to talk to them and find out where they'd gone wrong... why they'd done the things they had and how it had ever gotten so far out of hand... And she knew that Thor's and Loki's relationship roughly equated to her and Darcy's in this comparison...

Jane noticed Loki wondering the same thing... she felt that he'd asked himself the same thing countless times before throughout that past year. But where she now felt a deep sense of empathy and sadness towards him and disbelief and anger towards Thor, he felt rather resigned and actually slightly irritated...

It snapped her out of whatever state she had been in and Jane frowned. Yes, all these revelations, her conclusions and new take on all things concerning Loki and also this newfound ability to read him should now make it easier to abide Loki's presence and trust him, trust that he would help them with whatever Thor had planned, and trust that beneath it all he was truly good and at the end of the day worth redemption and forgiveness...

But it also meant putting Thor in a whole new light. What she had perceived as a mutual infatuation and love-at-first-sight romance with the shining, chivalrous hero and god of thunder was now turned into a rather questionable, shallow, short-timed dalliance... No, that could not be the case... She refused to believe that Thor was anything else than good and chivalrous and her true soulmate and meant-to-be-love...

There had to be another explanation why he hadn't visited her sooner. And he had told her what he felt about her and had opposed Odin and was, in fact, committing treason now to help her... Whereas what she'd seen and felt about Loki's past and was able to deduce now, could possibly not even be _true_...

She was stubborn and would not be easily swayed. And she knew she shouldn't – She so shouldn't care or relate to Loki... At least not in the way she did... Not when she was with Thor...

Maybe the Aether was messing with her again, made her feel all these conflicting emotions... Maybe all she had seen and felt was just a hallucination, a make-believe concoction it had created to make her like Loki to establish the connection towards the Tesseract that it so craved...

 _Why delude yourself in such a way? Haven't you wanted to know all this so bad and now that you actually got all the answers you are just going to disregard it all, find any excuse possible to not have to believe any of it and just shrug it off?_

And speaking of the devil... the Aether chimed up again... She was actually impressed that it had taken it so long to resurface. Sure it had only been about five minutes but that was quite a feet.

Jane was proud of her small victory. – But not for long... She felt her head get foggy and heavy and standing became exhausting. She knew that the Aether's strain on her body was finally getting to her. It wasn't long now... They really had to get rid of the Aether as fast as possible. She had to hold on for only a little while longer and then she would be rid of it and its poisonous influence...

They were currently off to Svarta-something, off towards the Dark Elves so that Malekith could extract the Aether from her and then Thor's hammer would make quick work of it, it had to, there was no alternative... Then she would be free of it, and Loki would probably go back to prison, their connection would cease to exist, too, and she could finally be with Thor and all would be fine!

 _Pah! You actually think that I can be so easily destroyed? By a puny_ god of thunder _?"_

I have to believe that... How else could I possibly get rid of you? You said it yourself either I am strong enough to hold you infinitely, which I'm not, or I die as your host and you just take another... So, I'm sorry for acting on my self-preservation instinct...

 _You would do better to just finally accept your and Loki's bond and help me unite with the Tesseract. Then you would be free of me without having to go through all that trouble of travelling to Svartalfheim and risking Malekith getting the Aether... Besides your bond with Loki won't cease to exist just because I'm gone... And don't you remember the vision I showed you?"_

I will not help you! This is insane! Me and Loki? It won't happen! He will make sure of that, too! And your stupid vision mustn't necessarily come to pass either. You could've also just created it to scare me into helping you...

 _Oh my dear Jane... I might be the reality stone and shaper of matter but even I can't rewrite fate and destiny like that... What you saw and what you felt both in the vision and of Loki's past and current feelings is all true._

 _And even though I could, technically make you see a reality of my choosing, I cannot create actual feelings or make you feel exactly what I want you to feel, I can only try but whether you fall for it is up to you..._

 _I could never copy the real depth of human emotion... perceptions and reactions to events and the way one experiences things is highly individual..._

 _You are just really and foolishly stubborn... you and Loki both... it will be your downfall before long! You can't fight me forever..._

We will see about that... – Jane thought not knowing what else to reply to that. She didn't know what to believe anymore... But she did know that she had to finally talk to Thor... warn him that his plan was not going to work... and finally tell him everything about the Aether and her connection to Loki... So Jane gathered all her will power and screamed at herself to get a grip of herself, to escape the Aether's clutches on her mind. But nothing happened. If anything she grew more tired and weaker still...

 _I am so sorry... This was never meant to happen... " the Aether now sighed and sounded actually regretful, "If you had just accepted and embraced all this from the start, I wouldn't have been forced to take these measures... But I have no use for a reluctant host with my end-goal just in reach..."_

Jane didn't have time to do more than utter a shocked "No!" when she already felt her vision fade to black and her legs give out. She couldn't do anything to stop her fall to the floor. She didn't even feel the impact – she felt weightless. Floating. Leaving...

And, god, her skin felt so unbearably hot... That was it, she felt it, she was losing... It wasn't just her free will against the Aether this time... No, it wasn't taking over... It was taking her out... her body was almost close to breaking due to the strain of this ancient, inhuman power burning her from the inside out...

 _Well, this is it then, dear Jane... I bid you goodbye my reluctant, stubborn host! Your efforts to keep me from the Tesseract have truly been valiant but in the end for nought..._

Jane had known this was coming, had been quite calm about it, honestly it was a wonder the Aether had even abided her for this long if it could have done that from the start... still, now that it was actually happening, now that she was dying, she wanted to scream and cry – she didn't want to go! Not like that... not yet...

"Jane! Jane are you alright?", Thor's booming voice still reached her through the fog and darkness that clouded her mind. Thor. He would loose her. He would be devastated...

"I'm fine..." she slurred, hoping he would not notice her fading away until he had safely flown the ship away... it wouldn't do for him to crash the ship if he got all angry and emotional...

Her head grew heavy, she felt everything around her grow darker still, she lost all sense of perception next. The noise of the ship's engine faded away, as did the sound of their pursuers and lastly Thor's and Loki's voices...

And then, where before her whole body had been on fire, now blissful cold encased her and soothed her frying nerves. Her soul or whatever was left of her in this state felt like being gingerly picked up and held tight. It was a nice sensation. She could embrace death like that...

The next update will follow soon - like this week - I just have to edit and rewrite some small stuff but it should be good in a couple of days - I really wanted to post it together but as I don't want to keep you waiting and want it to be as perfect as can be I decided otherwise - please forgive me!

BUT positive thing to look forward to: No more boring soliloquies but actual face-to-face-conversation between Jane and Loki finally happening! :D


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters (just in case you thought so^^ )

As promised the new chapter :)

Enjoy!

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Suddenly the fog lifted, the floating feeling vanished and the heavy darkness all around her receded and she felt bright light fall on her face. She opened her eyes. And looked up into the canopy of an apple tree the likes of which she had never seen before. Mainly it looked like an apple tree from her vantage point – lying on the ground next to it's trunk – but the apples... they were gold. A shining, metal gold. And they were perfectly round and all the same size.

She would have marvelled at it longer and probably started studying them immediately if a movement – or the shadow of a movement hadn't caught her eyes from just behind her head. She craned her neck to the side and back as far as possible – and next thing she was sitting up and had scrambled a few feet away from her previous spot faster than she'd ever moved before.

Because there, just a few feet from her, casually leaning against the tree trunk with his back straight and ankles crossed, was Loki, a book in hand and not at all startled by her sudden flight.

In fact he cast her one quick sidelong glance, raised an eyebrow and then just returned to his book.

Good god! How long had she been sleeping there – soundly – next to him, her head almost resting on his thigh...

Jane watched him – like a deer in headlights – and tried to calm her breathing and collect her thoughts and think of something to say, and of something to make sense of the situation. Where was she? Why was Loki here with her? How had she or they gotten here? Where was Thor?

"I see you've come around... finally. It was rather boring watching you sleep... You're welcome by the way..." Loki's – she begrudgingly had to admit – melodic voice interrupted her frantic thoughts.

Jane frowned: "Where are we? What are you doing here? And be welcome for what?"

Loki sighed then closed the book, it vanished into nothingness before it had even fully closed, and then he scowled at her: "You should be welcome, because I just saved your life. You were burning out, the Aether nearly destroyed you. That's also why I'm here: Making sure you stay strong and alive and don't let it get to you again..."

"Ok..." Jane was struck speechless. Loki had saved her? Why? And it still didn't explain where they were and what had become of Thor... "So, em, thank you, I guess... But the question still stands: Where are we? And where is Thor? And how were you even able to save me? Your handcuffs should have... Hey wait where are your handcuffs...?!"

Jane was immediately wary again and assumed a position that had her ready for taking off – whatever good that would do. Loki merely rolled his eyes: "By the Norns if I had known you were such an inquisitive mortal maybe I would have considered just letting you die... One less nuisance on this otherwise perfect _afternoon_..."

"Loki...", she growled, "Just answer my questions..."

Loki cast her a mischievous grin: "And what will you do if I won't? Slap me again? I honour the effort but it was rather more hilarious than it did actually drive home the point you were probably trying to make."

"You can kid yourself but not me – that slap stung and bruised your ego at least to some degree!" Jane snorted, "After all, how could the famous and feared god of mischief let himself be slapped by a meagre mortal woman? Without her facing any repercussions and in front of Sif and Thor at that... It was certainly bad for your reputation..."

Jane didn't know why she taunted him... She had just escaped the clutches of death and didn't want to experience that so soon again – she wasn't suicidal... And baiting Loki like that? That was suicidal... But something about this situation was just so surreal... Jane didn't feel quite _alive_ or let's say _awake_... Everything around her except for Loki and the apple tree was oddly out of focus. Also, she didn't hear any noises aside from them... It just didn't feel _real_.

Except when Loki suddenly vanished from the spot he'd been sitting on and in almost the same instant appeared just mere inches behind her, his cool breath tickling her ear, making goosebumps rise on her skin. _That_ certainly felt quite real: "Don't think too highly of yourself Midgardian. I am still a god. And if I hadn't been so generous and concerned for my brother you would be dead now."

Jane whirled around but he was gone again. Turning back around she saw him sitting in the same spot as before, reading his book again: "How are you doing this? Where... oh you are so infuriating! This whole situation is..."

Loki grinned at her apparent distress and then he looked up at her, that mischievous glint returning to his eyes: "How about I propose a deal – while we're stuck here anyway? And before you ask again, I will tell you where _here_ is as part of the deal!"

Jane crossed her arms in front of her, still wary but intrigued nonetheless – a deal with the trickster god? To even consider it was crazy: "Alright. What is that deal of yours?"

"A question for a question", he stated with an innocent smile on his lips, "I answer one of yours and you answer one of mine in return."

Jane knew this was a bad idea. It might sound harmless, after all it were just questions, but she didn't know what kind of questions he would ask her and that scared her...

Still... She desperately wanted answers for her own burning questions... and she could then ask him _anything_ , too...

"Alright. But I can ask you anything and you have to answer it truthfully!" Jane demanded.

Loki bowed his head, still grinning from ear to ear: "I accept. As long as the same applies to you, my dear."

Jane bit her lip. She could still back out... He was leaving her that option.

"Deal," she said oddly unafraid.

Loki shot her a wicked smile: "This will be fun. Shall we seal it with a kiss, as is custom?"

Jane blushed a fiery red and glared at him: "You are disgusting and insane! I think that maybe I should slap you again, just for good measure..."

Loki just shrugged, then put his hands behind his head and leisurely leaned against the tree trunk again: "Your bad. No oath, no guarantee that I will tell you the truth."

Jane grew more irritated by the second: "Then what's the point of this silly game? Can't we be civilized people and seal it with a handshake and the firm belief and trust that the other one will be honest?"

"Is this your first question, my dear?" Loki grinned.

"Stop calling me _"my dear"_ I am not your dear!"

"As you wish... Now, please sit down, and let's start or do you want to continue standing there and rather stay in the dark?"

Jane grit her teeth, but she reluctantly sat down on the ground – a spotless, green meadow – facing him: "Ok... Then just swear that you'll be honest! I swear I'll be, too."

Loki leaned over, fast as a viper, and gripped her wrist. – But instead of recoiling she instinctively wrapped her hand around his as well, and then he said: "I swear that I will tell you nothing but the truth."

Jane felt a subtle electric shock travel from their joined arms through her body and immediately let go of his wrist and he of hers. She guessed they had just sealed that oath...

"Ok", Jane quickly arranged her thoughts and questions according to importance and what she couldn't come up with on her own. She already was at least 80% certain that this was not real, but she had to confirm it anyway as Loki had felt quite corporeal, "Alright, so where are we? This isn't real, is it?"

Loki snorted: "That is a loaded question, not withstanding that it were actually two. But I'm feeling generous and I will answer both for you: We are in an orchard – more specifically the orchard behind the palace of Asgard. Us being here and our conversation is quite real and happening – it's just taking place inside your head. Though I don't know why one would think it's not real just because it's happening inside their head..."

"Did you just quote Dumbledore to me?" Jane blurted and then quickly amended: "Ok, right, scratch that – I don't want this answered! That was just a random thought..."

Loki raised an eyebrow at her: "I don't know this _Dumbledore_ of whom you speak anyway and, besides, it is definitely my turn now!"

Jane prepared for the worst.

"My first question: Are you aware that the Aether is sentient and acts towards a certain goal?"

"Yes..." Jane answered slowly, she didn't know whether she should elaborate on that as the Aether's goal and what it had revealed to her would put her in dangerous territory with Loki... so she stuck to the main – but vague – facts, "It wants me to find the Tesseract... to unite with it... And, yes, it talks to me... has been talking to me... it has been messing with me... even using me... trying to get its way... "

Loki gave her a long look and then nodded in understanding: "I am also aware of that dreadful plan and I've been trying to take care of it since you arrived, though I couldn't do much from my prison cell, now, could I? I just hope you realize that the Aether and the Tesseract definitely mustn't unite, under any circumstances..."

"Well, yes, I'm not stupid and I have tried my best to prevent that from happening, too... Fighting an Infinity Stone is just not that easy... especially if it decides to take matters into its own hands..." Jane snapped at him.

He quickly averted his eyes, first looking down on his lap and then off to the distance: "Was that why the Aether just acted out like that? It seemed as if it was burning through you, trying to kill you, but I don't know why it would suddenly do that as I thought it needed you as a host... "

Loki turned his eyes back towards her and frowned.

Jane replied: "Yes... we had a little disagreement... or, well, another one that apparently was the last straw for it... And, well, the Aether begs to differ – it doesn't seem to need me anymore... in the beginning it was just easier for it to get to its goal through me but actually it doesn't necessarily even need a host at all, at least that's what it told me..."

Loki was just getting ready to ask her another question when Jane cut in: "Wait a sec! It's my turn again now to ask you something!"

Loki grinned at her – that stupid, flirtatious, slightly maniacal grin he had cast her after she'd slapped him – if she were able to feel her heartbeat, embarrassingly enough, it would have sped up... – and then he made a hand gesture for her to go on and ask away: "Of course, I wouldn't want to infringe on our agreement."

"Alright... So, you already knew the Aether is sentient and didn't seem surprised when I told you it talks to me... and down on earth you handled the Tesseract... So, could it be... are you speaking from experience – being controlled by the Tesseract?"

This was her opportunity to test whether anything the Aether had claimed about her and Loki's bond was true and how much of that dream had been real...

Loki didn't answer but the intense gaze he shot her told her enough.

So it was all true... He had been the Tesseract's host. Had been controlled by it... and if the look in his eyes was any indication he regretted it, hated it, and it definitely haunted him. And, in general, come to think of it and judging by their whole conversation, Loki seemed... _nice_... a little wicked and unpredictable... but oddly courteous...

She actually could see some of that _Loki_ that Thor had described to her two years ago... There was still good in him... he was not evil... he had just really messed up, had trust issues and was majorly insecure and easily misled and just needed to be given a shot at redemption and jump over his oblong shadow...

Then he could also open up to Thor about everything that had happened... And Jane was certain Thor would understand and welcome him with open arms, that he wanted his brother back and missed him... The only uncertain variable that remained was Odin... He had certainly struck her as way too stubborn to realize defeat and that he was in the wrong... he would take some convincing... But then again, so had she, and she had sworn to hate Loki to her dying breath, and now here she was...

Apropos, dying breath... There was still one question bugging her... And not being as invested in upholding their one-question-agreement, because she had too many questions and was too curíous to always wait her turn, she just asked another one. And this time she really wanted him to answer – although part of her already guessed it...

"O.K...You were the Tesseract's host... but it has been taken from you after returning to Asgard... So, are you still it's host? Does it still tell you things?"

Loki sighed and then, after a long pause, nodded, subconsciously biting on his lip: "I was... and still am not completely rid of it... and, yes, it told me a few things...But to answer what you're really asking: No, it never quite leaves you. Even if we get the Aether out of you... a part of it – the experience – the effect it had on you – it will forever linger... you should know that..."

"Actually... I guessed that already... and I noticed that you are still not completely rid of the Tesseract yourself... " – this did cause him to look up at her quizzically - "you have this slightly bright-blue sheen in your eyes. Especially when you're agitated... I recognized it, because Erik's got it, too..."

 _Erik_.Still a little unstable. Still on meds. Still not recovered and maybe never completely going to be well again... Because of the Tesseract...

She looked at Loki, still casually leaning back against the apple tree, hands fidgeting in his lap, and her sitting just a few feet in front of him... Far too close, far too comfortable, far too familiar and intimate for a reasonable, human person sitting with a maniac and killer...

Whether he had been controlled by the Tesseract or not, he had still hurt Erik and she had sworn not to forgive him for that... Maybe if he showed remorse... but, no, not even then...

Jane scowled at him: "Do you even remember Erik? The guy you enslaved to help you use the Tesseract? He's almost back to normal now... In case you wanted to know – if you cared at all, that is..."

A stricken look crossed Loki's face but it was gone in the blink of an eye and then it was as if a shutter went down and suddenly Loki's whole demeanour changed. He let out a humourless laugh and scoffed, almost imperceptibly leaning a bit away from her: "As a matter of fact, I don't. Though I'm surprised to hear he survived. The _effects_ of the Tesseract on humans can be quite disastrous after all... – Why? Is he dear to you?"

Jane shot him an angry glare: "You know? For a second there I actually thought... – I actually thought I had seen reason within you. Something – if only a kernel – of _goodness_. But, no, you are utterly despicable!"

"I never once claimed the opposite, my dear!", he chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, seeming for all the world as if he really didn't care what she thought, what his reputation all over his and her world was, what his actions – voluntarily or not – had caused.

But part of her had gotten astonishingly good at reading all his subtle and fast movements and expressions, and so the quick look of hurt that had glossed over his eyes plus his slightly clenched hands didn't escape her notice...

But she chose to ignore it. It passed so quickly she might have as well imagined it... Seen what she wanted to see. Because, yes, she wanted to believe that maybe Loki was at heart good and could redeem himself... if only so that Thor would get his once-dearly-loved brother back...

"Alright... enough of this sentimentality... I have another question for you..." – Loki simply cast aside the topic and went on, Jane scowled at him and huffed but didn't say anything more – "Did the Aether tell you anything else besides it wanting the Tesseract?"

Jane only hesitated for a second before she replied non-committally: "No, nothing really... Well, only a vision of what would happen if Malekith got it and used it... He wants to plunge the world – the whole universe into eternal blackness! But, I don't know, maybe the Aether just showed that to me to scare me into helping it because it said uniting it with the Tesseract would be better than that... Why? – Did the Tesseract show something to you?" – she countered.

"No," Loki simply stated and shrugged – maybe a bit too fast – then again that oath made him tell the truth, so he couldn't have lied just now, "But I wouldn't just dismiss that vision... Malekith is powerful and he wielded the Aether before... In the tales about the Dark Elves it is mentioned that they once wanted to do just that before Bor defeated them and thwarted their plan... It seems now that Malekith is back he wants to finish what he started... and we are taking the Aether right to him..."

Jane screwed up her eyes: "So, I guess, you are not convinced of Thor's plan to go to Svartalfheim and let Malekith extract the Aether from me... Honestly, I am sceptical myself... I don't doubt Thor and the power of Mjolnir... but the Aether is ancient... an Infinity Stone... it predates the universe... How can one possibly destroy it?"

"Yes, that is exactly my concern... And I'm sorry to burst your bubble but neither Thor nor Mjolnir will be able to destroy it... Regrettably, there is nothing else we can do... The Aether is destroying you, as we speak, and you don't have much longer even with my help.

Malekith is the only one that can get it out of you without harming you... if I tried, it would most definitely take a hold of me and, this way, get to the Tesseract and you would die... But with Malekith... I believe you have a fair chance to make it through alive... At least I would be there and able to help you with Seidr..."

"What is Seidr?" Jane asked – she had the feeling it actually wasn't her turn... But their conversation was going oddly well right now, so, she wouldn't call attention to it and hoped he wouldn't either...

"Seidr is the magic that forms the universe. The Infinity Stones are the first, the purest, and contained, sentient forms of it. You know it at it's most basic form and call it science on Midgard..."

"Oh come one! Magic... There is no such thing as magic... It's all just science we don't understand yet!" Jane argued, the notion of magic was ridiculous. There was always an explanation to everything, a way and equation that made it work... Earth just hadn't progressed that far yet.

Loki rolled his eyes: "Believe it, or don't – I don't care. Though, after experiencing the Aether's power and the Bifrost and the wonders of Asgard, I can't fathom how you could still believe in science being the ultimate answer..."

"It's just impossible... Nothing can come from nothing... Just take your illusions and vanishing things including yourself... You just manipulate light somehow or maybe you release some kind of hallucinogen to make people see what you want them to see, but you can't actually create something out of thin air..."

"As a matter of fact I can. Not here though as this is your head and I am just redirecting your thoughts a little, but back out there I can."

"So wait a sec, redirecting my thoughts? And about all this being in my head – how are you even here? Why would you be? Maybe I'm really just dreaming all this, and this is just some very weird nightmare...

And how can I, then, even believe that anything you tell me or that is happening here is real and true? For all I know it could really just be the Aether concocting all this and messing with me yet again..." Jane's head would have hurt thinking about all the implications – if she had felt like having a head... or rather brain, that is...

"You can't be sure... You can only trust me and that oath I swore to tell you the truth..." Loki didn't seem to concerned about any of her worries.

"But that oath would be part of this weird dream, too... So I really can't be certain..."

Loki furrowed his eyebrows and finally looked at her: "Alright... Tell me, can you feel it – the Aether? Is it there? I am usually aware of the Tesseract... it's power... there is just always something slightly _off_..."

Jane took the opportunity to look into _herself_ – what she thought was herself in this weird state – and try to feel whether there was something lurking within her. She felt nothing. No sense of being watched. No feeling of something lurking to take over her body and thoughts. She felt empty and light and free.

"See. The Aether is not here. I'm blocking it out at the moment... And you are not dreaming... not what you consider dreaming anyway... you are actually awake and lucid but in, let's say, some pocket of your psyche and I just sort of teleported myself there... – by accident I might add...

When I helped you, as you recall, I was shackled and had no access to my powers physically, but mentally I was able to help you and that somehow enabled me to join your subconsciousness..."

"That is honestly so messed up!" Jane didn't even know what else to say, "So, you're in here with me now and does that mean you're also unconscious now? Gosh, what will Thor think?"

Loki laughed at that, actually laughed. It startled her not just because it came so suddenly, but because she had never thought she'd hear and see him laugh. It did things to her heart she didn't want to think about or feel... But it was difficult not to like it...

"Don't worry, I am not lying _unconscious_ on the floor like you, my dear. I am very much awake and, as a matter of fact still talking to Thor – well, it's more of a one-sided-conversation anyway... and, by the Norns, he really doesn't know how to fly that ship... He just crashed into a statue of Bor – his grandfather..." – he added when she looked at him confused.

Jane stared at him: "You want to tell me that you've basically divided yourself, focusing on two conversations at once? How can you even do that? No one can do that!"

Loki chuckled: "My dear, that is exactly why it is called _magic_ and not _science_. You can't explain everything, some things just are!" – suddenly Loki snapped to attention and grew serious – "Oh by the Norns..."

And then he was gone... He simply vanished. Jane looked around but he wasn't there and didn't reappear... And then darkness closed in on her from all sides, swallowing up the meadow, the distant apple trees and then finally the one in front of her and lastly her...

She didn't feel the ground under her feet any more, in fact, she didn't know whether she was even still standing. It felt like back in the in-between … the void … when the Aether had consumed her and talked to her...

She panicked, as she didn't want it to burn her again... or even just talk to her... and the darkness seemed to be pressing down on her, too... She felt claustrophobic, like suffocating... She just wanted to be back in that orchard... or wake up... she didn't want to stay here all alone... in the dark... with the lurking fear that this was really the end now... that she would die...

So she screamed into the void and yelled at herself to wake up and she called out into the darkness.

But, she realised only seconds later, not to Thor. She had called out to Loki first...

.

* * *

I hope it's alright like that - I thought about what I wanted them to talk about first for ages and this seemed to be the right approach as Loki and Jane both don't know that the other one is aware of the bond they might as well keep it hidden from each other for now^^ And of course some blaming by Jane had to be in there, too she is just a difficult person ^^ But don't fret, they will talk to each other again soon enough and Jane will come around in due time :D


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the characters! (Just in case you thought so^^)

Thanks again for the lovely reviews and hello new followers! Love you guys for accompanying me on this journey! :)

I try not to keep you waiting for too long but Uni is getting more stressful again - it's exam time for me soon so you have to do some more waiting after this one I'm afraid...

This is a sort of tie-over. There will be some more Lokane conversation in the next chapter (after all that bargain has still not fully been made use of! :D ) So stay tuned and curious and on the edge of your seat! :)

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What had only gotten into Loki?

Helping Jane fight the Aether's overpowering presence was one thing. He did it so that she stayed alive... _for Thor._.. He just had to send a bit of cooling magic and strengthening Seidr down that bond and be done with it...

What he didn't necessarily have had to do was psychically follow that bond and end up in Jane's head... finding her in the darkness, picking her fragile _form_ up and carrying it out of the inferno that was the Aether to somewhere nice and calm and soothing and peaceful...

The _apple orchard_ had immediately been on his mind, and, next thing, they had been standing just beneath his favourite apple tree – the one he'd always come to to practice his magic, read a book, hide from Thor or just anytime he needed to be alone or wanted to marvel at the perfectly round, golden, shining apples of Idun...

Gently he had laid Jane down on the soft grass and then he had sat down next to her and leaned back against the tree. He should have just left her then and there and gone back... Because in his hurry he had also only managed to select – let's call it – sassy, insufferable Loki mode to deal with Thor while he took care of Jane, which was currently driving Thor slightly mad...

Well, then again, he really was causing quite a ruckus and their flight route and the ship itself were more than obvious for any pursuers... Loki felt it his duty to make Thor aware of that... But why, then, had he not given Thor his real, undivided attention? Why had part of him stayed with Jane?

He had told himself that he had to make sure she held up alright – nothing more. It had been a really close call after all. He... They had nearly lost her... And the Aether had nearly taken a hold of him, too... He didn't want to think about the disaster that would have ensued...

So he had had to stay to keep her anchored, give her strength to then take up the battle against the Aether herself again... And, no, it wasn't concern for _her_ , it was just practicality and his brotherly love for Thor that drove his actions...

Though it eluded his grasp how that was any excuse or justification for engaging her in this infuriating conversation and teasing or trying to ruffle her by suddenly appearing directly behind her... – By the Norns, he would never forget the sensation of standing so close to her, breathing into her ear, seeing her shiver in response... it had made his heart skip a beat, even though it hadn't been physically real...

And then in a burst of mad inspiration he had struck that ridiculous bargain with her... even allowing her to ask him _anything_ and swearing an oath to only answer truthfully... He must have truly gone mad to even have suggested it...

Then again, he had assuaged himself that he could always steer her away from to privy a question and refuse to answer... And he couldn't discard the fact that it offered him the perfect opportunity to talk to her, too, and confront her and find out what she knew and was aware of... and whether, hopefully, she was ignorant to their _bond_... Though, if the Aether was anything like the Tesseract and talked to her, which he was more than certain of, there was a high chance she knew about it...

So, he subtly guided their conversation towards that dreadful and dangerous topic and tried to keep her from asking too personal questions and maybe even distract her enough to don't ask any questions at all. But Jane was sharp. She was wary, observant and attentive and definitely too curious and stubborn for her own good. Loki couldn't stop the grin from spreading on his face, relishing the challenge she posed. And noticing her reaction to his grin – red cheeks and furious, sparkling eyes – it spread even wider.

But just as soon his grin faded again, when she did manage to confront him about the Tesseract. He couldn't discern whether she really knew about his connection to it from the Aether or whether she had figured it out herself. She was really clever and good at using just the right words to make reading her extremely difficult... She reminded him of himself... It was disconcerting...

How could it be? How could a simple Midgardian prove to be so similar to him and why did it have to be her of all humans?

She was a wonder... a riddle he needed to solve... And to do that he had to make her open up more.

Which in turn meant he had to be approachable and trustworthy as well... so he indulged her and answered her questions as truthfully as he saw fit. Yes, the oath made him tell the truth and prevented him from outright lying, but Jane was new to this game and didn't know that one word could make a huge different in the wording of a question. So there were ways for him to still avoid or answer around certain questions...

But he was also willing to take the risk of prying questions if it meant satiating his own curiosity. He still wanted to know what made her special enough to capture Thor's heart, what set her apart from other humans, and why she had stumbled across the Aether and it had chosen her as it's host – as he didn't think that that was mere coincidence... Plus, if Thor went through with courting and marrying her he wanted to at least make sure his sister-in-law actually was worthy of Thor...

Yes, that was why he stayed. That was why he struck that bargain and began interrogating her, compromising his own personal space in the process.

Jane fascinated and surprised him. She was curious and daring – otherwise she wouldn't have even considered that bargain with him. She was bold and determined – taking "No" for an answer wasn't her style and she didn't let herself be insulted by him but was quick to retort. She was kind, understanding, brutally honest and – oddly enough – nice to him, considering his reputation after the events of New York and what Thor might have told her of him – being the cause for why he hadn't been able to return to her immediately, among other things...

And what shocked him most of all was her admission that she actually thought he was worth redemption. That he – the Jotun monster, the misfit, the black sheep, the liar and murderer – should be given a second chance... It was so unbelievable – too good to be true – that he automatically slipped back into defence-mode and deflected her...

She had to see that _no_ , he wasn't good, wasn't worthy of forgiveness, and she shouldn't have that hope for him... he would disappoint her like he'd disappointed everyone else and he wanted to spare her this disappointment...

Also, him getting to know her was fine, he didn't care about her enough that it would effect him in any way, and he knew where curiosity ended and infatuation began... But Jane definitely shouldn't get to know him any closer... especially with that unpredictable bond between them and her being human making it far easier for the infinity stones to influence her... Who knew what consequences that would have... And, last but not least, he didn't plan on and would never _steal_ Thor's girl...

Sure, Thor had _stolen_ some of his lovers often enough, but Loki had never considered doing the same to him... He would not get on that same level just to get back at him... And as much as he might still dislike Jane for her involvement in the Dark Elves attack, he realized that he did not want to use and hurt her like that either...

In the short time of their connection and conversation he'd found in her somewhat of a kindred spirit and he actually enjoyed talking to her... Because she reminded him of Frigga, too... and he missed his mother so much that at the moment he took any substitute, any distraction to bury his hurt...

He even forgot about his objective and their bargain for a minute and just _conversed_ with her normally about Seidr and its workings and how he came to be in her head and the philosophical debate of what made something real... He would have liked to stay there forever, talking about trivial things, but his focus was just at that moment snatched towards Thor...

He was entirely too obvious and the pursuing Einherjar were close on their trail... Soon they would either catch up to them or shoot them down... Why had Thor even thought stealing that ship was a good idea? Sure it got them out of the palace fast but so could Loki have and undetected at that... Thor was making things far too difficult at times... And Loki wanted him to know that:

"You know, this is wonderful Thor. This is a tremendous idea! Let's steal the biggest. Most obvious ship in the universe and escape in that, flying around the city, smashing into everything in sight, so that everyone can see us. It's brilliant Thor! It's truly brilliant!"

He snapped at him angrily and next thing he knew Thor had pushed him out of the ship. He had actually pushed him out... of the fast-flying ship, a good distance off the ground, his shackles still on and with no way to slow his fall or enable him to land safely...

And then he hit the deck of the small windglider-boat Fandral had followed them in, without Loki even having been aware of it...

"I see your time in the dungeons has made you no less graceful, Loki, "Fandral chuckled as way of a greeting, and if Loki hadn't been shackled, he would have throttled him.

But his anger wasn't really directed at Fandral but at Thor for putting him in such a precarious situation in the first place... Had he lost all of his senses? Maybe Loki wasn't the mad one after all...

Even though, Loki also couldn't help but be impressed. Thor really was becoming good at lying and deception... And he'd been able to trick him – that was a first.

"You lied to me... I'm impressed," Loki told him as soon as Thor had _gracefully_ landed on the boat.

Thor didn't spare him as much as a passing glance as he headed to the end of the boat and carefully put Jane down on the small settee embedded there. She didn't stir and he felt heat roll off her in waves... The Aether was fighting back... He wanted to return to her head, make sure it was kept at bay... and he wanted to continue their conversation...

"I'm glad your pleased," Thor brought Loki back to attention and away from thinking about Jane, "Now do as you promised and take us to your secret pathway!"

Loki scoffed internally at his silly train of thought, reminded that it wasn't his place to care for her.

So, yes, he would _happily_ do that if it kept his mind from wandering back to Jane, fretting over her, or getting attached to her in any way. Thus, he made his way over to the steering lever.

And as soon as he touched the lever, he felt more elated than he had in a long time. With the wind in his hair, the horizon in front of them, the endless expanse of the universe above – he felt free. Truly free. Even with the shackles around his wrists and his magic suppressed.

Did Thor know what a gift he'd made him? And did he know what potential power he'd just granted him? Loki could literally go anywhere – it didn't have to be Svartalfheim. He could dump them off here and be gone – just like that. The shackles he would get rid of somehow – there were always ways. He could do it. Leave them to their stupid quest, yes...

And by doing that he would potentially aid the Dark Elves in plunging the universe in endless darkness, should Thor fail, which was highly likely... But what did he care? – _Darkness_ was his old friend anyway... and they couldn't be worse than _Thanos_... and what he had promised would happen to him if he found out that Loki was alive and had kept the Tesseract from him...

But, alas, Loki still cared about Thor and his happiness – had never stopped caring, and never would... Therefore, he would make sure that Thor could have his perfect happy ending... with Jane...

So, he steered the ship towards the small cavern ahead of them, enjoying every minute of flying and also Thor's apparent distress brought a small smile to his face.

"Loki?!" Thor's slightly terrified voice reached his ears as they got closer to the cave-mouth but Loki did not slow down the ship – to reach the portal deep within the cave they had to have enough momentum to propel them forward...

"If it were easy everyone would do it!" he told Thor as way of a reassurance.

"Are you mad?!" Thor cried out in disbelieve and not at all reassured.

"Possibly", was all he answered with a devilish grin on his face, oh, he still loved toying with Thor and irking him.

And then they were already through the hole and the portal and next second the wide, sandy, desolate expanses of Svartalfheim greeted them along with the dark grey sky, the constantly eclipsed sun and the sulphuric stank in the air.

"Tada!" Loki intoned on managing to get them here in one piece.

Of course Thor didn't offer a thanks of any kind. Loki wasn't surprised – Thor had never been one for gratitude and thanking people for their services. Although, he had to admit it had slightly changed since he'd met Jane. At least, to what he'd been able to observe of his behaviour towards Eir...

But Loki, honestly, didn't care or mind Thor's consistent brash behaviour towards him. He had accepted the fact that Thor would not try to settle matters between them and clearly didn't care about talking civilly to each other. And why, then, should Loki continue to waste any effort?

So Loki sat down next to the lever and leaned back and fell silent, rolling his eyes at Thor fussing over Jane, covering her with a blanket – though in her state that was the last thing she needed... Loki could feel the heat emanating from her even from where he was sitting... Why didn't Thor notice that? …

Unless it was only through their bond that he was aware of her renewed struggle with the Aether...He saw her stir then, forehead creased, sweat beading on it and then she angled her head, shaking of Thor's stroking hand in the process. It looked as if she had subtly pushed him from her in displeasure, but Loki knew better than to assume that was what she'd done...

Though he could also swear that he had felt her reaching out to him through that bond... heard his name being called... Without further thought, he sent some more cooling magic towards her. And just as soon as he had, the creases on her forehead vanished and she let out a long breath and her, as of before, rigid posture relaxed.

Of course Thor immediately thought it had been his mere presence and fussing. Stroking her one more time and smiling down at her he said: "Sleep now Jane. And don't worry we will get the Aether out of you in no time... You will be fine."

Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes at the pathetic display of his lovestruck oaf of a brother.

Thor as if sensing his disdain turned around and frowned at him: "What's the scowl for, Loki? But, oh of course, I forgot, you don't hold with this kind of sentimentality..." – he jeered at him.

Loki sent a wry smile his way: "Love makes fools of us and is a weakness I can ill afford... Besides, who would deign to love or be loved by a monster anyway?"

Thor scowled: "I used to.. so did father... and mother most of all... Even after everything you did and for a reason unfathomable to me she didn't waver in her love for you... And, Loki, before everything happened... I never thought you were a monster!

Finding out about your Jotun heritage didn't change that for me... But your subsequent actions... they turned you into one. They were horrible and unforgivable... so, yes I hardly recognize you – my brother – in there anywhere anymore..."

"And still you didn't outright kill me down on earth but tried your best to fight me and afterwards made sure I was sent back to Asgard and didn't stay on earth... Why? If you didn't think I was your brother anymore – a monster – why save me?" Loki questioned him.

Thor frowned: "Because after everything you did, you still deserved the jurisdiction of Asgard and Odin... and I thought that maybe you would explain what happened... that there was maybe a reason for why you did it... and secretly I still hoped you were good... that maybe you just hadn't been yourself or weren't working for your own gain...

I mean, the things you said and that Sceptre... it was weird and felt odd... And I believed the Allfather would be more lenient and interested in what you had to say for yourself than the Midgardians who would have certainly sentenced you to death immediately..."

"How noble and considerate of you..." Loki scoffed, "Though your mercy was misplaced. You should have left me on earth, let the Midgardians imprison or kill me... it would have been a blessing compared to Odin's undeservedly harsh verdict..."

"Undeservedly harsh?" Thor was incredulous, "You deserved every bit of it! And you should be grateful that Odin didn't sentence you to death! All the people you killed, the destruction you wrought only to get the throne that Asgard had denied you and Jotunheim would never give you after what you did to them... Do you really not see the error of your ways and the gravity of your actions?"

"Oh, I assure you brother, I did then and I do now... But you can hold back your righteous talks and beliefs that sound so much like Odin that it makes me sick, because clearly you don't know the whole truth and never bothered to find out... And no matter what you say, I know that you care as much about it now as Odin did when he sentenced me to lifelong imprisonment without even hearing me out..."

Thor raised his eyebrows at that: "He did what? No... he told me that you didn't oppose any of the accusations, even acted as if you didn't care one bit about the consequences of your actions and outright told him that you really just wanted to be king and rule Midgard, nothing more..."

"Well, he didn't exactly give me the opportunity to elaborate and only asked questions that merely allowed for a yes or no answer but no explanation or justification... And he has this great gift for placing words in your mouth... but who am I telling this? You are the prime example of that... " Loki sneered.

"I don't understand... No, why would he?" Thor was truly baffled and had a hard time coming to terms with what Loki had revealed to him, "You must be mistaken, brother... maybe you imagined slights were none occurred and wrongly assumed having been treated unjust... Or is this some elaborate scheme to rile me up and sway me to oppose our father?"

Loki should have figured with this. Thor – the golden son – Odin's favourite, adored son – he would never see fault with his father... And for all that he insisted to still hold out the slight hope of Loki being good and there being an explanation for everything and wanting to get back the brother he lost, he wasn't about to listen to him... _really_ listen and consider what he had to say...

Loki sighed: "You are so determined to make me out to be the monster, the trickster and deceiver... You don't even want to entertain the possibility that Odin in his old age might be prone to faults of his own..."

"He is the Allfather... There is always a reason for everything he does and he is the wisest king in all the nine realms..." Thor reasoned.

Loki grimaced: "Well, then tell me how wise and reasonable was he in his decision to lock away Jane and use her as bait to bring the Dark Elves back to Asgardian soil? He would have risked all our lives and doomed Asgard... Truly the decision of a wise king... Not to forget his accepting and unbiased disposition towards Midgardians and your lovely Jane – what was it he said? She equalled a goat at a banquet table? How lovely!"

"He was grief-stricken after Frigga's death and it made him irrational... But he will snap out of it... And who knows? This plan could very well backfire and staying on Asgard would have then been the better, wiser move... Besides, father was at best health and reason when he interrogated and sentenced you, so that is no excuse..."

"Alright but how then to you justify his attitude towards Midgardians? There's no sugarcoating that... You honestly believe that he cared about the loss of Midgardian lifes? Then you're more delusional than I ever was!" Loki grew more irritated at Thor's blatant denial by the second, "And he will never accept _her_... and his bias towards non-Asgardians knows no bounds... The glorious protector of the nine realms! Or should I rather say oppressor?"

"Know your place Loki!" Thor growled like a wounded animal – it wasn't easy, being confronted with the truth much less accepting it, and Loki had experience with that...

"In your own time then brother" Loki shrugged and put on a mask of indifference, "I'll just keep on sitting over here and leave you to your own devices..."

He grew quiet and stared off into the desolate distance of the wasteland that was Svartalfheim, while Thor sat down next to Jane, absently stroking her head and gazing off in the opposite direction. Then Loki looked back at them – at Jane and the fragile state she was in and scowled, while his heart constricted...

No, that wasn't jealousy and resentment he felt... not in regards to Thor... and most definitely not when it came to her... No, it rather was incomprehension and the ridiculousness of the situation... That the Aether had caused all this ruckus and now had led to him fretting over a woman that he otherwise wouldn't have cared about one bit... that he was off to possibly face his doom because of her and that stupid Infinity Stone...

He hadn't noticed that he'd been staring until he became aware of Thor frowning back at him. Damn it... He had to think of something quick to justify his staring and divert Thor's attention...

"Just thinking about what I could do with the power that flows through those veins..." Loki told him and smiled at Jane in a roguish way.

It was actually quite an intriguing thought... He had mused about the difference of Tesseract and Aether before and _what it would be like to wield it... this raw power..._

But no – he should not go there! That was dangerous, Tesseract-influenced ground...

He snapped out of it just as Thor turned his head around to scowl at him and after a second he stated brusquely: "It would consume you."

That it definitely would... Loki thought and then stared at Jane, internally marvelling at her strong constitution again to have held on for so long. And he found her staring back at him a tinge of read in her otherwise dark brown eyes.

.

* * *

.

Jane had actually managed to wake up just after Loki had sent some blissful cold and strength her way. He had really heard her cry for help and she hadn't had to remain in that awful, oppressive darkness for long nor face the Aether... She couldn't help but be thankful.

First thing she had noticed was that she was lying one some hard surface that felt like a bench or table top... and, gosh, she had felt so unbearably hot all over even with the strong wind rushing over her...

The blanket that had been thrown over her definitely had not made matters any better. And the dry air around her had smelled awfully like sulphur, making her head ache.

Also, it had gotten brighter... She knew, she wasn't on that dark ship anymore... She had wanted to open her eyes and check where she was, whether Thor was o.k, whether Loki was still with them... But she hadn't been able to pry them open... Her body had not been responding and so she had to settle for just listening to their conversation...

… about how Loki thought he was a monster... – the image of the arm turning blue, of the creature with frigid-blue skin and burning-red eyes rose up in her head – oddly enough she wasn't scared at all, but rather intrigued...

… about how he had rather wanted to die than face lifelong imprisonment. How the sentence had been too harsh and Odin had just written him off like that... his own – supposed – son... Yes, she could totally see Odin with all his false righteousness and _lovely_ persona handling Loki's sentencing civilly and in a just manner...

Now that she came to think about it again, the lifelong prison sentence really had been extreme especially because, yes, Odin definitely hadn't struck her as an advocate for Midgardian matters... Could it really have had to do with Loki being Jotun and Odin writing him off now that he couldn't use him anymore? It made an awful lot of sense...

… and then Loki had sounded so utterly devastated and hurt when he'd accused Thor of deliberately making him out to be the monster... she had felt the pang in her chest herself... and she had to admit that Thor was rather adamant to contradict Loki and find ways to not have to consider Loki's take on things... For someone who claimed to have hoped there to be another explanation that absolved Loki from his crimes, he certainly did his best to disregard Loki's explanations...

And Jane couldn't help but feel a twinge of unease and anger when Thor refused to see Loki's valid point that Odin wasn't all the shining, wise king he made himself out to be, but flawed and questionable. Instead, he had talked Loki down in a temper-tantrum... For her that was definitely not working in Thor's favour...

Then it had grown silent, with both brothers sinking into their own thoughts and set to ignore each other. Until Loki suddenly spoke out of nowhere again.

"Just thinking of what I could do with the power that flows through those veins..."

He would be... glorious... Deadly, for sure, but glorious... After all, he had proven himself powerful enough to inhabit Jane's mind and block the Aether – an Infinity Stone – out... He had actually managed to fight it and he had kept her alive and resisted its allure to switch hosts in the process...

Jane shivered – not from cold but fear. Realizing what a close-call it had truly been and the Aether would have gotten to the Tesseract... And how powerful Loki truly was – a match for the Aether...

Which actually made her wonder why then he hadn't been able to fight the Tesseract or the Sceptre – the _Mindstone_ as the Aether had called it. Was it all just an excuse after all? Or really a false concoction of the Aether? Or could it be that not everyone, no matter how powerful, was compatible with every one of the Infinity Stones but either only a select few or even just one of them?

This would then also mean that maybe it didn't even depend on how powerful you were you just had to be _compatible_ to wield an Infinity Stone... But Jane certainly seemed to be neither powerful enough nor compatible when it came to the Aether...

Though, maybe... with another Infinity Stone... _the Tesseract for example... it had intrigued her from the start... and she still had this mad urge to study it..._

No. NO. That was the Aether's aspiration not hers! It was ridiculous. The Tesseract would have the same if not a worse effect on her and kill her instantaneously. The Aether just wanted her to somehow take it from Asgard or wherever it was kept. So, Jane had to stay strong – even without Loki's help – and fight it, to not let it control her or burn through her again...

And she had to make sure that Loki didn't give in to the Tesseract either... Because Loki's last statement had been odd... And it also was also due time to warn Thor or talk to him about all this...

Jane finally managed to open her eyes and immediately her gaze locked onto Loki's. His eyes had that blue sheen to them again – definitely not a good sign.

And then Thor already addressed him: "It would consume you..."

Loki luckily snapped out of it, the bright blue vanishing to dull blue with green streaks and his features schooled into an unimpressed mask, but the eyes that met hers, bored into her, especially when he answered: "She's holding up all right... for now..."

"Jane is stronger in ways than you could ever imagine!" Thor told him.

And then he turned towards her and Jane had a split second to decide whether to let him know she was awake and cut this conversation short... or close her eyes and pretend to still be asleep. She did the latter – not even questioning her decision and hoped Loki would not call her out. But for some reason she knew he wouldn't...

She felt Thor stroke back her hair and tried to act like any normal sleeping person would. Her breathing was definitely a bit off and her heart beating way too fast, but Thor didn't notice and Loki – as she had expected – didn't call her sham.

Loki scoffed. But for all that it was probably supposed to mock Thor and her, he didn't contradict him and it also had this odd sound of being _affronted_ to it... As if he wanted to tell Thor that of course _Loki didn't need to be told – that Jane had survived until now was testament enough of her strong willpower and determination to stare danger in the face. She was an extraordinary human being – he could not deny that and was plainly aware of that himself..._

But just as soon as she had got this _odd_ sense of understanding Loki's veiled thoughts, it vanished and he reverted back to maddening Thor and ridiculing his sentimentality: "Say goodbye."

"Not this day..." Thor replied unfazed and resolute.

"This day the next, a hundred years – it's nothing – it's a heartbeat! You'll never be ready! The only woman who's love you prize will be snatched from you..." Loki sneered, but Jane noticed his pain and wistfulness beneath.

He knew of what he was speaking and he didn't just refer to her humanness and the inevitability of her death and doomed relationship with Thor... she knew this was also about Frigga, how he'd thought he would have her love for ages longer but then she was cruelly snatched away from him.

Or maybe he even had had someone once... what did Jane know? She had never even considered whether Loki had had a _girlfriend_ or some such... oddly enough the thought didn't sit well with her... and, no, it was so not jealousy for some woman that might or might not have existed and loved Loki... Gosh, loved him! I mean how could one, right? What was there to like?

Certainly not his carefree, mischievous, light-hearted attitude... or the vulnerable, brooding side of him... the melodic voice, the easy smile and his honest laugh once you've got him to share one with you... his stubbornness and damn pride that prevented him from being open and trusting, though his blue-green eyes would always tell you the truth of what was going on in that wicked head of his... lastly his plain-to-be-seen, unconditional love for Frigga and Thor and, though he'd most certainly deny it, for Odin, too and for whoever might someday hold his heart...

Oh, no, no, no. She had to stop this... He was not a likeable person... much less lovable unless you were utterly crazy or part of this weird godly family! He might have decided to help them along but he still had a long way to go towards redemption and earning her forgiveness... These trivialities would not change that... – Jane tried to reason with herself and her treacherous heart... while the conversation continued...

.

* * *

.

Loki had not alerted Thor to Jane being awake because he wanted to see what she would do or say, especially after their conversation had ended so abruptly, or why she would not talk to Thor or address him at all, for that matter. But she remained still as the dead and just listened.

Well, then he could also use that opportunity to remind both her and Thor of their dire situation. Jane's fragile state, their doomed relationship in the face of Odin's rule and the inevitability of death in general...

 _Say goodbye_... as long as he still could. Thor should be thankful for every second he had with Jane... it could be over soon... just as Frigga's live had been over... and he hadn't bid her farewell... had taken her for granted... but never again... and Thor shouldn't either... He should realise how precious Jane was, how he should be prepared for the worst and how easy it could happen with that plan of theirs...

But Thor didn't get it and accused him enraged as if he just planned for that to happen: "And will that satisfy you?"

He actually thought Loki was mocking him. Thinking that he took pleasure in seeing his brother hurt, or even Jane...

"Satisfaction is not in my nature..." Loki replied affronted. Yes, if he felt spited in some way, big or small, he would certainly set out to get his revenge... But did he like doing it? Revel in it? No. He just did it to avenge, to uphold honour and justice... And he would certainly never take pleasure in it or even do it if it meant Thor would get hurt...

"Surrender is not in mine!" Thor shot back oblivious to Loki's true intentions.

Loki huffed a laugh, sneering at him and his manner that bore an uncanny resemblance to a certain king of Asgard: "The son of Odin..."

"No! Not just of Odin..." Thor bellowed, "You think you alone were loved of mother? You may have had her tricks but I had her trust!"

"Trust?", Loki scoffed incredulous, "Trust? Was that her last impression?" – his temper rose and anger flared, their silent listener all but forgotten – "When you let her die!"

... killing stupid, insignificant Dark Elves in the dungeons instead of being at her side, protecting her... – is what he added in his thoughts

Thor countered unfazed: "What help were you in your cell?"

That took the last of Loki's restraint and he let all his bottled up anger reign free: "Who put me there? WHO PUT ME THERE?"

This oaf! This insufferable, blind, presumptuous oaf! As if Loki had asked to be put in that cell for eternity! As if there hadn't been other options to punish him for what he'd done! He could have been out there! He could have helped! Could have saved her...

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO!", Thor yelled back, pushing Loki into the boats railing and raising his fist in order to strike.

And of course Thor still thought Loki had invaded Midgard willingly, because, of course, he hadn't really bothered to inquire about the truth... might have assumed it but never checked and hadn't listened to a word of what Loki had told him before it seemed... and neither had Odin... when he had cast that verdict as if Loki was any other filthy Jotun... certainly not considering him his son anymore...

And now Thor for all his talk about still thinking him his brother, actually wanted to punch him for raising his voice, for calling on the injustice of Odin that Thor had to be aware of, too! He had to have realised and come to terms with it by now that that prison sentence had been too severe and utterly unjust...

But apparently not... Ever the good boy, that he had become down on earth, and while working as Odin's lapdog, fighting his battles in the last year, he, of course, didn't question his father... it was easier to blame the one that actually had a reputation speaking for himself... And why dig deeper when the scraps you've presumptuously put together fit together perfectly and were enough for you to think that you've uncovered all there was to know?

"How I wish I could trust you..." Thor told him, finally letting go of Loki, smiling sadly at all that had been lost – and which he wasn't going to recover it seemed...

Loki took a deep breath, trying to find his calm... _Oh Thor... You can... You stupid oaf... you still can trust me and count on me!_ – Loki thought. Why did he have to be so short-sighted? So stubbornly misled and naïve when it came to Odin?

"Trust my rage..." was what Loki finally offered as an answer instead.


	18. Chapter 18

Finally guys... I'm back at it again! I'm so sorry... This past half year has been a roller coaster and I just didn't manage to finish this chapter and then writer's block returned... But today I made it! Finished this hell of a chapter and am confident to update more regularly again from now on. Though I don't want to promise anything yet... Uni is still a black hole in front of me...

Well anyway, enough of me. Enjoy! I've kept you waiting long enough ^^

Disclaimer blah blah - I don't own Marvel or any of the characters - blah blah - you know the deal ;)

* * *

It grew quiet again after Loki's statement and Thor returned to sitting down next to Jane and looking ahead towards their final destination – the _Malachta_ – the valley of doom, where Bor and his army had fought the Dark Elves and buried the Aether afterwards – 5,000 years ago.

They would return there in the hopes that Malekith had set up camp there, too. To finish what Bor had started... hopefully successful... Though Loki had his doubts and he wasn't sure how Thor even hoped to get Malekith to cooperate with this plan of his...

"So... How do you even plan on getting Malekith to extract the Aether? You can't just go up to him and ask nicely..." Loki asked him.

Thor looked at him – seizing him up: "Actually, I thought that you would come in quite handy... Your reputation – after the events on Midgard – precedes you. You're known throughout the nine realms now as the fallen prince of Asgard, the rightful – though rejected – Jotun king and the trickster that only serves his own purposes but is a powerful mage that could turn the tide of any war...

So, of course some scheming, treacherous forces would actually want you on their side... And it means that you could easily pretend to get in league with Malekith, to get on the winning side, so to speak, and hand over Jane as a token of good faith. And when he, then, extracts the Aether, I simply come in and destroy it.

Loki shot him an incredulous look. Not just was this plan in its essence ingenious but Thor had simultaneously shot several holes through his heart and soul by telling him so casually that he believed it was second-nature to him to play this part, and that part of Thor actually expected him to betray him at the end of the day...

Loki quickly masked his hurt and smirked at Thor: "Wow, that is actually a decent plan, _brother_.

But we have to make it seem convincing... – I have to do, what you all think I apparently do best: Betray you. And don't worry – I will be _convincing_."

Thor met this reply with a distrustful scowl: "Forgive me for not finding that reassuring... What do you have in mind?"

"Well, evil, lowly creatures only trust equally evil, lowly creatures. _Humanity_ and _sentiment_ are misplaced with them. So I will act my part... which could lead to you maybe loosing a limb or two and I can't molly-cuddle Jane... that would defeat the point of me being ruthless and only concerned for my own self..."

"Hurt her and I will personally kill you!" Thor growled.

Loki sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose: "I will not hurt her! I didn't even say that... I might just have to treat her a little... _rough_ – is all..."

Thor still didn't look convinced or any more trusting: "I will have to put my trust in you, but if I do it for naught – if you betray me for real and Jane comes to harm– you will feel my wrath! Alas, should you show me that you can be trusted I will accept that you perhaps still are my brother and worth my forgiveness.

"Alright, alright! If nothing else will convince you of my _good_ intentions then this might..." Loki had to take a step further then, to convince Thor of his good intentions.

He made his way over to Thor and extended his hands. Thor looked up at him sceptically for a second before bringing up his own and Loki gripped his wrist and swore: "I, hereby, swear that I will not jeopardize this mission, nor will I hurt Jane more than I have to, to convince Malekith of my new allegiance to him, but definitely not to the extent of torture or death. If things go south I will protect her with my life. – Does that satisfy you?"

Thor looked truly shocked and was stunned into silence. He clearly hadn't expected Loki to swear such a binding oath to convince him.

Loki thought that maybe now he had finally broken through to him and got to a turning point where Thor just might begin to trust him again and consider all that he'd told him about Odin before, and finally realize that not everything was as it seemed...

And Thor actually surprised him when he suddenly stood up in a flash, clasped his neck as was his fashion and then patted him on the shoulder in approval: "Thank you brother!"

Loki was at a loss for words and just nodded, unconsciously sucking on his lower lip. Then Thor sat down again and Loki returned to the back of the boat, plopping down unceremoniously, looking at Jane, who, he noticed, was eyeing him again with confusion and shock that equalled Thor's first reaction.

He frowned, too. Swearing that oath had been a little impulsive... and Loki had never known himself to be impulsive... He always thought things through, had a plan A and B all down to Z... But ever since Jane stepped into the greater picture he made one rash decision after the other... Why did she make him do such stupid things – like swearing a _binding–oath_ to his brother? It was a serious vow. Now he had to uphold it... had to protect her... no matter what...

… Just as he still had to uphold his _one-question-one-answer bargain_ with her, he remembered. Well, it seemed now was as good a time as any to get some more answers form her. They were still some way off from their final destination, Thor was preoccupied with scouting their surroundings and Jane was still staring at Loki unabashedly.

Loki concentrated on that connection between them and send a thought through to her: _"What are you staring at, Midgardian?"_

He knew it had reached her when she suddenly flinched and her eyes widened in shock. Her eyes snapped to Thor, who hadn't noticed a thing and was still staring into the distance, and then back at Loki, her lips opened in wonder, the silent question of _"how..."_ on them. Loki's lips spread into a wicked grin.

" _An answer for an answer remember? You have to answer first."_

 _At her frown and clearly desperate expression he added: "Don't worry you don't have to speak out loud... and for whatever reason you don't want Thor to know you're awake, you can keep on pretending to be unconscious. Just close your eyes and concentrate on my voice – follow it – and we can talk."_

And Jane actually closed her eyes and Loki divided his mind and partly followed that bond to her head. The apple orchard returned and he sat down below his favourite tree like before and soon afterwards Jane appeared. Taking one look around and then fixing her brown eyes on him, arms crossed in front of her.

"Why didn't you tell Thor that I was awake?" Jane prompted without greeting or even questioning that they were back in the apple orchard.

Loki shrugged: "I just didn't want to watch Thor panting after you and you drool over him."

Jane put on an indignant expression: "You can be such a jerk..."

"The question is, why did you not want to show Thor that you were awake?" Loki raised an eyebrow at her consiprationally.

Jane immediately averted her eyes and a small blush reddened her cheeks: "I... Well... I didn't want to interrupt your conversation..."

"You mean you wanted to keep on spying", Jane opened her mouth to contradict, but Loki didn't give her the chance, "So, did you learn anything of interest? Hear something worthwhile?"

"Yeah, actually I did: Why did you swear that oath? And how come you knew that Odin said that with the goat? You weren't there... that was with Eir in the healing room..." Jane frowned down at him.

"Don't get it to your head, I only swore it to make Thor trust me. You're his favourite human and we can't let anything happen to you now, can we? Also, you might not believe me when I say this, but Thor, after all that happened, is still very dear to me and, to be perfectly honest, I am only alive because of him and the _Avengers._..

He might not yet trust me... and you most definitely don't trust me, but maybe you accept this... _confession_ … to be true enough, to believe that I still love Thor and will protect him and you... if only to repay the debt I owe him... I will help you get rid of the Aether and defeat Malekith and I won't betray you."

Jane was struck speechless. This last utterance, had been the single-most selfless thing Loki had said in all the time that she'd talked to him. And she knew he was serious, knew he meant it in her heart. Because she felt it...

Loki, either because he did not realize the depths of his confession or he did just that and wanted to quickly brush it aside, appeared unfazed and continued talking without further ado.

"As for your second question: I have my eyes and ears everywhere," Loki sent a sly smile her way and when Jane glared at him he conceded and added with a sigh, "alright: I have this thing called an _empathy link_ with Eir... it allows me to see and hear through her if she allows it. And well, I noticed you arriving on Asgard – the Tesseract was in a frenzy and the Aether is also not a very subtle power... So, I had to see for myself..."

"Why would Eir allow you to establish such a link? You could take control of her or gain information you shouldn't!" Jane gasped disbelieving and outraged at the same time.

Loki just rolled his eyes: "As hard to believe as it might be for you, but there are still people like Eir around that haven't lost their trust in me and actually _care_. And for your interest: No, I couldn't control her, she only allowed me access to her eyes and ears nothing more... I wouldn't have asked for any more either... and just so you know, it was Eir who offered to establish that link! I never would have dared to ask her..."

Jane still frowned at him, but given the fact that Loki was supposed to tell the truth, and the truth only, she had to accept his answer. Her image and perception of him further crumbled apart.

"But enough of me! The more important question, concerning you, that I didn't get to ask you before, is: How in all the nine realms did you even stumble upon the Aether? Just how... and why you?" Loki asked her, his words almost tumbling over each other, his expression deadly serious.

Jane let out a breath, it was an easy question compared to what she had fretted. Still, how could she shortly sum it up for him?

"Oh... em... Well, it was _coincidence_ really... Or so I thought at least... I had actually been on this date, finally trying to move on from all things _Thor_ and stop investigating stuff like _this_ , but then Darcy – formally my intern, but actually my best friend – showed up, telling me my instruments had picked something up and of course I needed to investigate it...

Old habits break hard, I guess... And understanding space – it is still my life's work, you know? – So that's how I ended up investigating what I now know is the _convergence_ and somehow – I don't even know how – I found myself in this weird _in-between_ place – Thor has called it that – and there the Aether took hold of me but I didn't remember that or knew what it was until after Odin explained it... So, yeah, basically it was really just bad luck... and I blame my damn curiosity and space-obsession for it, too..."

Loki frowned: "So, to sum it up, what you're saying is: You didn't actively look for the _Aether_ itself, you just investigated the convergence or what you thought had to do with space or _Thor_. And then you don't remember how you ended up in that _in-between-place –_ it's called the _void_ by the way – and how the Aether took a hold of you until much later?"

"Yeah, basically..." Jane nodded and shrugged.

Loki's scowl deepened: "It just beats the odds... that you of all people were the one to come across it... There must be more to it... You must have known something..."

Jane sighed: "You can believe me! I didn't know about the Aether and _Infinity Stones_ , for that matter... I really just wanted to find a way to make interdimensional travel possible and thought the readings or the _convergence_ had something to do with that...

"But you're right in that regard that there's more to all of this... Because, well, the Aether... it told me it actually _found_ me... or at least made sure I stumbled across it... that it knew of my connection to Thor and wanted to get to Asgard through me... because it knew that the Tesseract was there... But that's insane! It couldn't know that I would pick up those signals or come looking for it's source. It couldn't know that I'd even become a scientist and meet Thor to even get in that position... I don't believe that, it is just too surreal..."

Loki scoffed – but oddly enough, it wasn't directed at her, "I think it is not so surreal at all. The infinity stones? They were the creation of the first entities in this cosmos and they share their attributes and sentience... Of course they would know how to use this cosmos, how to use you to their advantage.

We are but insignificant vessels to them, to be discarded once they are done with us... That's exactly what the Aether did to you and is still doing... It's toying with you... with us all!", he told her heatedly and then added more to himself and almost too low for her to hear, "I will not be their pawn again. I will not do their bidding... not again..."

"So it's true then..." Jane gasped and at Loki's confused look, she quickly elaborated, "It's true that the things you did in New York weren't really your doing? That the sceptre or the Tesseract or both controlled you?"

Loki scowled at her: "How do you know about that?" – but Jane had the impression that he already knew the answer to his question and just wanted her confirmation.

Jane blushed: "Well... This morning I woke up from a really strange dream... In it, lots of horrible stuff happened to me and I couldn't make any sense of it... until I realized that it was _you_. All that stuff had happened to you and I don't know how but I had been privy to it... I guess the Aether and Tesseract have a kind of bond that reaches beyond them..."

"You... you witnessed my nightmare?" Loki inquired again, calmer than she would have expected him to react to such news. But still she noticed that he was tense, "You saw _everything_?"

At the look on his face – so raw with emotion she couldn't even all tell apart – she finally decided something, she would surely regret later on: She dared to believe. She dared to accept that maybe things really weren't as black and white as she had thought until now and that that dream she had only had that morning was really the truth...

"If that's what it was, then yes. I saw you finding out you're a – I think it was called – Frostgiant and confronting Odin about it. I felt your shock and denial and Odin's betrayal. I saw you fall from the broken Bifrost and what happened to you before you came to earth... I saw what was done to you... I felt it... I'm so sorry... And I also witnessed how the Tesseract and the sceptre and this weird purple dude messed with you... I just thought that maybe it had been a concoction of the Aether, a hallucination to change my opinion of you to get to the Tesseract faster..."

Loki had shut his eyes and looked pained. He opened them again now and directly looked at her: "And did it?" , his gaze was piercing her, "Change your opinion?"

Jane paused for a second: "Partly..." she admitted and then frowned at him.

She really wanted to continue hating him. It was easier instead of all these conflicting emptions, she started to have when it came to him... But she couldn't ignore that part of her that reached out to him, that really wanted to hear his side of the story and re-evaluate her judgement of him.

Who knew? Maybe she would still hate him afterwards – no harm done. Or maybe she would get to know some new aspects of the story – of him – that she hadn't even considered before and gain a new perspective on everything that had happened... After all, it wouldn't change anything, really, would it?

"I still want to hear you tell your story, though. I want you to explain to me what happened to you," Jane pestered him, "I get the New York thing now, The _Tesseract_ and the s _ceptre_ had you on a tight leash and the threat of Thanos and further torture also probably kicked in your survival instincts as well..."

And there was one question that would determine whether Loki really was just a misguided soul. One that neither that dream nor the Aether had fully answered her until now.

"But I just still don't understand one thing," Jane resumed talking and now she was the one who's stare was boring into his eyes, "Puerto Antiguo – Why did you even attack it – or Thor? Why did you want Thor dead? He's your brother and he loves... loved you dearly! I understand that you hated him for always being the golden boy, but that was not Thor's fault! That was entirely down to Odin's bad parenting... And Thor couldn't even fight you, he didn't have his powers back!And you had the throne, what more did you want?"

Loki sighed and cast his eyes away: "It's complicated..."

"Try me!" Jane huffed.

Loki's gaze turned contemplative: "You know I find some of your human phrases really interesting. _Try me_ …" – he chuckled.

Jane looked at him sternly: "Loki! Don't stray from the point! We have a deal! Answer! Now!" – she enunciated each word sharply.

"My, my, you're feisty! Who knew you could bite?", Loki grinned at her wickedly, but seeing her not at all amused expression he quickly cleared his throat, looked at her for a very long moment. It was such an intense look that she felt he could see right through to her core. But she wasn't going to look away. She _stared_ her ground.

Then he spoke up again: "You've asked me two major questions. I will answer both of them, but it is a long story. Be prepared to be asked something of equal value in return!" he cautioned her.

When Jane just raised one eyebrow in a _"what's the big deal? Just start already"_ fashion, he cleared his throat and began.

"My biggest ambition had always been proving myself to be worthy and the best. I wanted to be worthy of Odin's love and respect, I wanted to best Thor and, in the end, I wanted to be worthy of the throne of Asgard. I wanted to become king. When these ambitions failed and Thor was announced to become king, my world shattered because I couldn't comprehend why Odin – or anyone in his right mind for that matter – would choose Thor to be king...

You don't know him as I do, you haven't grown up with him... And he wasn't always that charming, chivalrous hero you now swoon after..."

He waved Jane's indignant interjection of "Hey" away with a flick of his hand and simply continued his tale.

"So, I tried to make everyone else – especially Odin – realize that, too. I crashed Thor's coronation ceremony by letting Jotuns – Frostgiants you call them – into the vaults and used that as incentive for Thor to go to Jotunheim and start a fight – he had never been able to resist fights. The problem was that this was an act of war and an utterly stupid endeavour, and a wise king would have realized that... which is why Thor was banned to Midgard...

You may believe me or you may not, but I didn't want for him to be banished – I didn't see that coming myself – I just wanted Odin to realize that Thor was not suitable to be king...

The thing is, while on Jotunheim, I also discovered my true heritage... and when I confronted Odin he fell into the Odinsleep and Asgard was now without king so the line of ascension fell to me...

But rumours arose because I had always been looked at queerly and people didn't trust me and I had to deal with riots and people trying to sent Asgard into chaos. And in the middle of this, the Warrior's Three decided that it would be a _good_ idea to bring back Thor and go against the last binding order of king Odin and oppose my reign further... If they had made it back I would have had a civil war on my hand...

Also, I now had to fear Thor... I feared that if he were to discover my true heritage that he would kill me... Frostgiants were his arch enemies – he had proven as much when we were on Jotunheim – and in my despair and delusion I activated the Destroyer to keep him away from Asgard... Nothing more...

The Destroyer is just not a sentient enough being to distinguish the nuances of orders and deeper set emotions and fears. It must have taken up on my inner terror and projected that on Thor... I really didn't want him dead, I just wanted him to never set foot on Asgard again... At least until Odin had woken up again...

But, well, you know what happened: Thor got his powers back and returned to Asgard. We fought – bitterly and Thor destroyed the Bifrost in the process... We both slipped from it and had Odin not been we would both have fallen into the void...

Well, in the end I did... I just saw no other alternative, no way to live in Asgard after everything that had happened. I was a frost giant. They would surely kill me. And my mother... she would have been so disappointed and I couldn't bear her abandoning me, and in that moment, all I wanted was to cease existing entirely...

So, you could say my thwarted ambitions, amongst other factors, basically, had a major influence on why things _went south_ – as you say – for me and why I hated Thor so much...

Well, and everything past that you got a glimpse of from my nightmare..."

Jane, who had sat down before Loki had even started his tale, didn't say anything for a long time, just staring at Loki. Everything he'd said – it was the truth and she felt no doubt whatsoever about it. And it fit with what she had dreamt about and had felt in that nightmare of his... It was just a lot to process and Jane didn't know what to say.

But as always there was just still something nagging at her.

"Ok..." she said after an eternity of silence and Loki, who had cast his eyes to the ground and fretted with the hem of his gear snapped to attention, "There is just one thing in all this you didn't explain: In my dream – your nightmare – you planned on killing the Frostgiants. That's what you were doing on the Bifrost, wasn't it? That was why Thor even destroyed it in the first place? To stop you from killing them... We are talking about attempted genocide here... how can you possibly justify that?"

Loki grimaced and then dragged out a long sigh: "That... I will never be able to make up for that... I can't excuse it... There was no Tesseract nor sceptre back then to control my actions, that was purely me. And I regret it, too, every day...

At first, leading Laufey and his guards to Asgard to kill Odin... that was my attempt to get back at Odin for keeping the truth from me – call it petty, call it a tantrum, and teenage angst, I guess, is also fitting – but I also wanted to give the people of Asgard, the court, anyone who doubted me, a reason to trust me, to forget that they had ever called me _trickster_ and _silver-tongue_ and had regarded me with suspicion...

I wanted them to realize that I was a hero, too, and would make a great king, that I had not stolen the throne – as rumour had it – but had legally obtained it and had tried my best to protect it – to protect Odin... and in the process I wanted to defeat Asgard's biggest nightmare: the frost giants!

There would never be any threat of them trying to take over Asgard again. Children would not have to be scared to go to sleep, fearing the frost giants might come and get them... I thought I was doing Asgard a great service... And, also, I would have eliminated any trace of my true origin and potential enemies that could expose me...

And, though at the time I wouldn't admit it to myself, I also thought that maybe a threat to Odin's life might... might wake him up... I really needed him to wake up, I wanted explanations and answers... And when he didn't wake up, I thought that was my cue to just go on with my plan... That he would wake up and be proud of me once I got rid of the Jotuns for real...

But then Thor returned... We fought... He tried to stop me, and wanted to save Jotunheim and I couldn't understand why! Yes, I am aware that in human terms it was attempted genocide... but both Odin and Thor had that on their conscience too! They both hated Jotuns, too, if not more than me!

Odin slaughtered nearly half of the Jotun population in his first war with them and he took away the _Ice Casket_ that held the life force of their planet. Without it, he left them to slowly wither away and die... Do you think that is more merciful?

And Thor … his reckless decision to go to Jotunheim and confront Laufey nearly started another war and he wanted to annihilate Jotunheim, too. It was his aspiration while we were growing up... And while we were there, on Jotunheim, before his banishment, he did kill his fair share of Jotuns... So, if you blame me, please don't be a hypocrite and hold both of them accountable, too!"

Jane didn't want to believe. Didn't want to trust him, trust his words, even though he was bound to speak the truth. Odin, yes, she could imagine him capable of letting so many people be slaughtered and taking away spoils of war afterwards... But Thor? She just couldn't imagine kind, protective and righteous Thor trying to start a war and intentionally planning to kill people...

Then again she had seen what Odin was like and she remembered how unfazed he had been retelling how his father had wiped out the dark elves. So, she could imagine Odin slaughtering Jotuns himself just as easily... And, if Loki was any indication, then Odin's parenting skills were capable of ruining a man, to be the same... And Thor was his son, too, after all.. _._

And she just had to think back to Thor's behaviour when he first landed on earth... spoiled, so sure of himself, commanding and slightly degrading...

But it was just so damn hard to accept... And Thor had changed! And he had aided the avengers and saved earth and humankind! And she did not want this perfect image of Thor be tarnished. After all, he was her hero! Her knight in shining armour! Her Prince Charming! Her true love!

"I know it's hard to accept. But it's the truth..." Loki tried for a calming approach, "And if it is any consolation, he does seem to have changed. He was already greatly transformed when he got back to Asgard after he met you... And" – his voice cracked a little at that, "he deeply cares about you."

Jane's emotions were warring inside her head. The rational, not-lovesick part, slowly took the upper hand. Recalling instances were Thor's behaviour had already not fit her golden image. She frowned: "Well, I guess... I can't be so sure about that _caring_ _deeply_ anymore... Is it true that the Bifrost has been repaired for a while now and he could have visited me sooner?"

"Yes...", Loki looked at her, unsure of where she was going with this,"It's like I said on the ship: he had things to put in order throughout the nine realms but he returned to Asgard almost every other week... He had Heimdall watch you and report about your well-being, though."

"Yeah, well, a personal visit and just a short explanation would have been nice and more helpful _though_... But no, instead I wasted two years of my life senselessly worrying about him and waiting and despairing because I feared I'd never get to see him or Asgard again..."

"He probably had his reasons..." Loki offered, slightly uncomfortable with Jane's sentimentality.

Jane scowled at him: "Probably the same reasons that kept him from visiting you? Why are you even defending him? If I were you, I would be even more furious than me! I mean I am only a mortal woman he met for three days but you are his brother! If you were as close as you say, than he should have been interested in wanting to find out what happened to you! At least I would have... But he doesn't know anything, does he? Did Frigga even know?"

Loki looked away his eyes burning: "Well... Thor, he isn't the most perceptive one and more like a hurt puppy really. He doesn't think further than the wrong that was done to him or others... He is a man of action not strategic thinking and deep contemplation... And Frigga? I didn't want to burden her with the knowledge. What good would it have done anyway? Odin wouldn't have believed her nor me for that matter..."

"Maybe, maybe not", Jane shrugged her shoulders, "You never know until you do it. Maybe opening up would have helped? Frigga would have believed you and she would have understood and maybe... no – not maybe – She would have convinced Odin to hear you out! She was such a strong woman and she had a way with words and knew how to be charming...That much I noticed immediately..."

Jane told herself she only did, what she did next because it was the right thing to do, because she knew Loki needed someone to understand and share his grief. It was purely for empathetic reasons.

She had scooted a little closer – they hadn't been sitting far apart anyway – and reached for his hand.

"You know, I didn't get the chance before but I want to tell you that I am terribly sorry about Frigga's death and that you were not allowed to attend the funeral... Frigga was everything a mother ought to be and being her son must have been so wonderful...

And she was a warrior. She fought Malekith and died protecting me and the universe... And I know how much she meant to you and I wanted you to know that she also loved you very dearly, and would have done so even after you telling her the truth," she squeezed his hand subtly, before quickly letting go again and bringing some more distance between them again.

Loki just sat there paralysed, his eyes still looking at the hand Jane had just touched. Voluntarily. That little shock that had followed her touch hadn't passed him unnoticed either.

Jane's sympathy was sincere and heartfelt. She actually felt _sympathy_ for him. Something he wouldn't have thought someone besides Frigga or Eir to ever be possible to feel for him...

He was keenly aware of Jane's presence, her closeness. How wrong this was. How his heart shouldn't act the way it did even in this subconscious state. Loki couldn't help but meet Jane's eyes who had been staring at him this whole time. And because he didn't know any better, because this had become his natural defence mode against showing emotions, showing vulnerability, he switched over to cynicism and hateful remarks.

"As touching as your sympathy is," he scoffed, "It is laughable, considering that you're the reason she's dead! I hope that truth haunts you: Frigga would still be alive if you hadn't gone looking for trouble, if you hadn't been so infatuated with Thor, if you hadn't brought the Aether to Asgard!

And you know absolutely nothing of Frigga and of my feelings towards her, _mortal_!

And you can rest assured, whatever this connection between us is, I will get rid of it. So you can be with your precious, insipid Thor, and I will have my peace from your pathetic _humanness_ once this is over... Revenge for Frigga, that is all I want from this mission nothing more."

Jane huffed: "You know, for someone who calls my humanness _pathetic_ , your not any better! If someone's pathetic than it's you! Hiding behind walls, quenching all your feelings, backing away from anyone that tries to get too close and be kind to you and help you!"

She got up, shook her head and crossed her arms in front of her. She walked off a little distance, not sure whether to just scream and try to somehow leave this subconscious state or to deliver him a broadside. She chose the latter and turned back around to face Loki who had also gotten up and looked equally furious.

"You know what? Tell yourself whatever lies you want! Trick yourself if you must! But you won't fool me!" Jane threw at him, "I saw your nightmares, I felt your emotions, whether I wanted to or not, I am now stuck with knowing exactly how you feel and you can't take back that revelation from me!

What are you even scared off? Why resort back to hiding behind walls? Why play the evil trickster and give the people what they want to see? Are you scared that someone realises that you have feelings? That your not as cold as ice? That just because you were born a frost giant, you are inevitably supposed to be one? Even though it doesn't mean s*** when, deep down there" – she had stepped closer again, pointed at his heart, almost touching – "you will always feel Asgardian? What are you scared off Loki?"

Loki grit his teeth, nostrils flaring, his eyes burning – not blue – but an iridescent green. And then he struck – fast as a viper – not physically but verbally.

"Yes, I am scared."

Determinedly, he strut towards her, she simultaneously backed up a step. Two

"I am scared of being used again. Of being played with. Of having that taken from me which I feel connected to, which I have an interest in and which I like to achieve. I am scared of being deemed weak and unworthy – of being considered easy prey."

Two. Three steps. Four. Five. Jane's back hit a tree.

"I am scared of Thanos and his Dark Order and what they plan to do to me, should they realize I kept the Tesseract from them. I'm scared of what they plan to do with the infinity stones once they have collected them all, and even more so now that three have already shown up again and we're currently entangled in a web of schemes of two of them. I am scared of having my mind and feelings toyed with and taken from me again."

He put his hands on either side of her face and stared into her eyes, holding her gaze. Jane was unable to move, her breath came out in fast and frantic little pants. Her heart would surely jump out of her rib cage soon.

"But most of all, I am scared of my own emotions. I want to bury them... because of them, I find myself in a most tragic predicament and I fear becoming vulnerable... And I don't know whether I can even trust myself or if I am again a pawn in this wicked game the Tesseract and Aether have going on...

You see, I have these conflicted feelings about _you_ , Jane. And they're driving me mad... You're driving me mad!"

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers, his breathing was as strained as hers. Jane still couldn't move and weirdly a part of her didn't want to. She just stayed there, Loki's forehead pressed to hers, his warm breath mingling with hers.

She knew what he meant. Gosh, her thoughts and emotions were a jumbled mess, too, and she wasn't sure what she thought of Loki now... what she felt for him... A part of her knew that this, what they were doing here, was wrong on so many levels...

But she couldn't shut out that other part of her that was drawn to him... She grudgingly had to admit to herself, that he was very handsome in his own way – in such stark opposition to Thor.

And, all the stuff he'd done aside, talking to him – she couldn't really describe it – but every time they talked, she felt understood and really listened to. And she came alive the way she only ever did when she was rambling on about a new discovery or scientific research...

And now with him standing so unbelievably close to her, even touching her, she wasn't afraid of him one bit. She didn't even want to push him away... She wanted to...

Her eyes went to his lips, unbidden.

She didn't know who moved first. They probably did in the same instant. And then their lips were on top of one another.

It wasn't a soft kiss. It wasn't gentle, like she was used to from Thor, who kissed her like he was afraid of breaking her.

Loki had no such restraint. His kiss was heated, almost feverish. His hands were gripping her waist, pushing her back against the tree. And then he began trailing kisses down her jaw, her neck and back up to her mouth, while she buried her hands in his hair and arched up against him.

She found she didn't mind his rough handling. She actually liked it. _Preferred_ it. Loki knew that she could take it. That she was no fragile little butterfly that needed protecting all the time.

It was exhilarating. She hadn't thought it possible to even feel the things she did, given that she wasn't really awake – that this was basically just happening inside her head. She told herself that this was the only reason she hadn't stopped Loki yet. It wasn't real. No one saw them, no one would know. She could indulge in the feeling of Loki's fingers grazing her hips and wandering up her torso and the sensation of his lips on hers for a second longer... Just a second...

And then Loki stopped. He just stopped. He began to chuckle and shake his head. Jane was still too dizzy from kissing him to compute. And then he took her chin in his hand, tilted up her head and stared into her eyes with a mixture of incredulity and resignation.

"Jane, oh sweet Jane..." her name, on his lips, had never sounded sweeter, "You surely are my punishment. The Norns cruel joke, reserved just for me..."

And with this he stepped back, his fingers shortly lingering on her chin, before he let his arm fall down. Then he vanished and with him the orchard.

And reality got a hold of Jane again.


	19. Chapter 19

Procrastination can be a bitch but it can also lead to amazing things such as me finishing that chapter in a day instead of revising for any of my exams that start this week... I handle pressure well as you can see xD

Sorry if there are grammar, orthography other contingency errors in there, I checked only with a cursory glance.

Disclaimer: Don't own Marvel or its characters and never will. Enjoy the story though!

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* * *

Jane's eyes flew open and it took her mind and body a moment to collect itself and settle back into reality. But her gaze immediately fell on Loki who was watching her intently. Scrutinizing her. She quickly averted her eyes, feeling more than uncomfortable. She didn't even fully register his eyes that had, for just a second, been tinged with a dark red glimmer.

Her eyes, instead, fell on Thor, who stood a little to the side, staring at nothing really and contemplating something by the looks of it. But he didn't appear to be in shock or incredulous and he wasn't strangling Loki nor staring daggers at her, so she took that as a good sign that the things that had happened in her subconsciousness, had also stayed there... at least for now.

She didn't know what Loki was going to do about what had happened. Would he keep quiet? Would he tell Thor about it just to rile him up? Would he use it against her at some later point? Had he even given it any second thought at all? Or had he just cast it aside as something that had happened _in the heat of the moment_?

She hoped the latter was true. She, for one, would definitely bury it deep and tell herself it had happened in the heat of the moment. Nothing more. No one in their right mind would make out with Loki. The trickster. The Murderer. The Monster. – _The misunderstood, used and abused outcast..._

 _Sure, you want to follow through with that ridiculous plan of yours? Let Loki have me. Malekith is almost upon you and once he gets a hold of me you are going to die! Give me to Loki! And you will live. The universe will live. He has proven himself to be trustworthy! He had even proven himself to be worthy of me!_

Jane gasped from the sheer force the Aether was imposing on her. Now that she was completely coming back around again, it returned full force as well. But Jane still refused to back down. She had come this far she would hold on for just a little while longer. She didn't care if she died in the end. She only wanted to prevent the Aether from getting to the Tesseract.

Sure Loki could hold his ground and probably master the Aether better than her. And she didn't even question his loyalty anymore and knew he would make sure to find a way to destroy it that didn't rely on chance and wishful thinking, as their plan right now did.

Nevertheless, he was still too much under the Tesseract's control. She knew that and had sensed it, and his confession had made it more than clear, too, that he was still struggling. So, no, she couldn't just choose the easy way out and give up.

 _Have it your way then. But don't think that I will make it easy for you! I have shown you before that I don't have any use of unwilling hosts and now that my beloved Tesseract is so close I will find other ways to get to it by any means necessary... Even if it involves Malekith!_

And as if the Aether had summoned him, she sensed the shift in the air and heard the engines of the Dark Elves' spaceship as it prepared to land. A second later Thor called her name, probably because he had detected it as well and wanted to call her to attention. They would soon have to start their endeavour.

Having to put a lot more effort in the movements as should be necessary, she turned around to look up at the ship. Her blood welled up inside her and heat coated her body as the Aether churned inside her with rage and bitter foreboding.

Then she felt a cold hand clasp around her core, trying to ease the boiling heat and drive the Aether back. But its rage was palpable and too strong and it easily pushed back, leaving her gasping and fighting on her own.

The brunt must have been harder than she had at first guessed because their boat suddenly lurched and landed in a way that was not at all graceful and befitting Loki's sure hand , which he had shown in steering their ship before. Jane whirled around to look at him. He was breathing a little more laboured but otherwise hid his inner consternation pretty well. He met her gaze and his eyes portrayed a mixture of shock, bewilderment and concern.

But he didn't get the chance to say or ask her anything, when Thor already extended a hand to her to help her get up and off the boat. That snapped Loki out of his stupor as well, and he effortlessly jumped off the vessel and began to mount the little hillside they had landed at.

Straining against the strong and acrid winds, Jane and Thor followed after him, with Thor's arm protectively and supportingly wrapped around her. She couldn't tell whether it actually helped with or impeded their ascent...

Jane would have liked to try climbing that hill herself. However, truth be told, she just didn't want to admit that the Aether had taken up all her natural energy reserves and she was way to weak to support herself and simultaneously fight it's power down. It would have been nice to feel empowered and not dependent on anyone, though, for this one last time – She had long since accepted that she wouldn't make it out of this alive...

They had reached the top and knelt down behind some rocks to observe the scene below. Malekith and his entourage were just leaving the ship, purposefully walking onto the broad and barren plain below. Well, the moment had come. It was now or never.

"Alright... Are you ready?" Thor asked her, stroking her shoulder in reassurance. Jane nodded.

On the other side of her, deliberately keeping his distance from her, Loki chimed in with: "I am." - sounding determined and looking oddly regal and authoritative when he met each of their gazes. He lingered a moment longer on her face. She swore she could see fear in his eyes. But not for himself...

But that must have been a trick of the light. Loki wouldn't … he couldn't possibly fear for her. And if so, then only because he was thinking of Thor and how hurt he would be. Or maybe he was regretting helping them and giving up the Aether, thinking about how much easier it would be to just connect them and be done with this nonsense. _Maybe combining them really wasn't such a terrible idea... What could be worse than Malekith and his plan to call eternal darkness on the whole universe?_

"Thor, we have to do it now", Loki urged Thor, casting his eyes pointedly away from her and looking at Thor imploringly, his voice was laced with panic, subliminally, "We have to get the Aether out of her."

Thor nodded, his gaze stern. Then he stood up, Loki following suit and they walked to the summit together, their eyes fixed on Malekith, who was acknowledging them as well. Dark Elves had keen sight and hearing, Loki remembered that from their lessons, so there was no attacking them from ambush. They really had to go through with Thor's risky plan. With his fake betrayal and all...

While part of him had stayed with Jane in her subconsciousness, the other part had further schemed with Thor and how they would go about this. They had agreed to not let Jane in on this plan as her reactions needed to be genuine. They didn't know whether she would have been a good enough actor to convince Malekith otherwise...

Also, with the Aether no longer to be trusted, Loki didn't want to take any chances of it spilling the beans and ruining their plan. He knew that it opposed this plan strongly and when he had tried to push it back again, before, it had become feistier and unpredictable so that he had been able to overpower it... He still felt the shock and aftermath of it's attack and was glad that he hadn't let Jane know all the details of what was going to happen next...

Besides, they hadn't had time to inform Jane of their intentions anyway as Malekith had just then appeared on the horizon.

"You know this plan of yours is gonna get us killed", Loki pointed out, not at all concerned really, just stating the facts.

"Possibly," was all Thor replied.

Well, then there was only one more thing to be done before they started this tomfoolery. Loki held up his hands, silently asking for Thor to disable the handcuffs and magic binder. Thor, in turn, looked first at Loki's hands, then at his face, and Loki saw the indecision and distrust warring within him. The charade had begun.

"You still don't trust me brother..." Loki sighed and said it with slight contempt, seemingly fed-up with Thor's inability to believe in Loki. Which wasn't even half-played, he really was still somewhat mad at Thor: Even Jane had overcome her former prejudices and some of her hatred although she had the least reason to. Thor, however, had, as of now, still to show his willingness to hear him out...

"Would you?" _trust you? –_ Thor countered. Loki wasn't sure whether that question was really just part of their act or if Thor really wanted to know the truth and be reassured of his allegiance.

Truth be told, no he wouldn't. But that was because of different reasons that had nothing to do with possible betrayal and all to do with his personal insecurities and fears. However, for this plan of theirs to work he would have to rely on Thor's trust and forgiveness and his belief that Loki really was on their side no matter what he said or did.

And Jane's as well... And he also needed them, especially Jane, to act their part perfectly.

So, Loki, even though he was left with little time, chose to remind Thor not to take his following actions too much to heart... However, he couldn't just tell him outright, because Malekith could overhear them, so he had to disguise his reassurance as something Thor would hopefully remember and understand to be his way of saying _remember, we talked about this plan, what each of us needed to do. It's all just fun and games, like back in the day: You trusting me – Me betraying you?Well,would I then trust me?_

Loki grimaced: "Remember that one time when we were ten and I turned into a snake? Well, then... No, I wouldn't."

With this, Loki conjured up a dagger and stabbed Thor in the side. Not deep and not even causing any pain. He had just broken through the first inches of his armour, maybe grazed a little bit of Thor's skin. When he drew out the dagger it wasn't even coated with blood. Thor still grimaced in pain and gasped in pain. He was a good actor.

It was definitely enough to make Malekith think he was turning against Thor and Jane. Then he kicked Thor hard so that he rolled off the hill and into the valley.

Jane's outraged and panicked cry pierced his ears, and part of him wanted to turn around and make sure she knew that this was just pretence but he couldn't. He had to play the evil trickster and deceiver once more and he had to be convincing this time. Luckily, he had one major advantage:

The Kurse already thought he was on their side, after what had happened in the dungeons, so he could make sure that Loki got close enough towards Malekith to seemingly broker a truce, without having to cause too much harm to either Jane or Thor beforehand. It also made convincing the Dark Elves of Loki's swapped allegiances easier. However, it would also make this seem like more of a betrayal than pretence to Jane at first... And he somehow feared her opinion of him changing for the worst again... Now that he'd finally opened up to her and got her trust...

Loki cast all thoughts of Jane away. He couldn't afford to be distracted worrying about her perception of him. The success of their plan took precedence. So, he finally jumped after Thor and slid down the hillside, too.

To be perfectly honest, there was actually a part of him that couldn't deny that it was slightly entertaining and delightful to kick Thor around like that. It had been years since last they'd fought against each other for jest, and Thor had always bested him then... Now, for once, he could bath in the pretend-glory of striking him down.

"You really think I cared about Frigga?About any of you?" he scoffed, his voice derisive and laced with disdain. He kicked Thor again for good measure, "All I ever wanted was you and Odin dead at my feet!"

Thor groaned in pain and looked the worse for wear. Maybe Loki had kicked him just a tiny bit too hard... Then again it was Thor they were talking about. He was fine. Under normal circumstances he would have laughed and just kicked him back in return.

Now, however, he stretched out his arm in a sorry attempt to call for Mjolnir. But Loki was faster. He drew his dagger and brought it down. And severed Thor's hand.

Such an utterly unlikely scenario to happen for real. But, well, that was the advantage of Malekith and the rest of the Dark Elves having absolutely no clue about Thor or him and their, or better his, abilities...

There was just a tiny risk in their plan now: The glamour he had to create and uphold from then on was harder than any he had done before because, first of all, he had had to pass up the perfect moment from when on to conceal the real hand and fake the severed one and now he would also have to uphold the glamour with Thor moving and while having to concentrate on Jane and Malekith as well.

This plan truly was more a risk and game of chance than anything...

But to his utter relief, the glamour held and neither Malekith nor Kurse spared Thor any further thought as soon as it became apparent who held the upper hand and the key to the Aether.

.

* * *

.

"NOOOO!"

Jane couldn't believe it when Loki drew that dagger and stabbed Thor before viciously kicking him of the summit. What had gotten into him? Was this still part of the scam? Or was it real?

She knew their plan involved Loki betraying them and offering her up to Malekith but he didn't have to stab Thor like that! And his expression it had been so full of hatred and contempt... Jane didn't know how to process this...

After standing there in shock for a second, she finally got her muscles to move again and made her way down the slope and hurried towards their fighting bodies. She wasn't sure what she would or could do against Loki. Striking at him would give him direct access to the Aether and that was the last thing she wanted.

So, she helplessly had to watch as Loki kicked Thor some more, told him he wanted him dead and severed Thor's hand when he was just about to summon Mjolnir. It was a horrific sight to behold and it blotted out Jane's every rational thought so that she didn't even think about how slightly off it seemed that Thor was so easily bested by Loki.

But, after all, Thor had proven that he was not all the way he had seemed to her at first, so maybe this was just another one of those aspects that came to light now: that he really had a hard time facing off against Loki... Or maybe Loki's connection to the Tesseract was still so strong that it also gave him new strengths as well that Thor couldn't match...

Whatever the reason, Jane was now convinced that Loki had truly played them for fools. She was full of despair and boiling rage. She didn't want to think about what it meant that Loki was actually gong against them... How foolish she had been to trust him. To forgive him. Gosh, to even _feel_ something for him and kiss him... She hated herself more than ever now. But she definitely loathed Loki the most.

.

* * *

.

Jane had made it onto the plain as well now and, of course, had immediately run for Thor. What she wanted to achieve or how she thought she could possibly help him, was beyond Loki. It was another one of her pathetic displays of humanness and sentiment.

But it was actually quite helpful for setting the scene and her reaction was so genuine. He wished he could have told her the truth about this plan beforehand. Wished that she wouldn't look at him with those brown eyes so full of rage and betrayal. Wished that she wouldn't think how unsurprising it was that he had played her and betrayed her and Thor, yet again, and that everything that had happened between them had only been pretence. He really wished she wouldn't so easily believe him to be truly evil and never having been worth forgiveness or redemption in the first place.

He would have to explain it all later. Make her see why it had been imperative to keep her in the dark. But for now, he grabbed her and hauled her to her feet, keeping a firm grip on her as she struggled to get away from him. But in her state, she was far to weak to do anything against anyone.

He felt the Aether boil and roar within her, fighting to break free. She was searingly hot and her eyes had long since turned to black voids, with the Aether's crimson essence leaking through at intervals. This part really was the most dangerous one. The Aether had all the opportunity to burn through Jane and jump over to him. He felt it contemplate it when Jane stopped struggling and gripped the hand that was holding her firmly to him.

In turn, the Tesseract's powers had started to sizzle through his bloodstream, searching for a way to connect with the Aether, too. He should not have taken that package. He should not have stored the Tesseract in his pocket universe. How stupid had he been?

Now, he had to try with all he had to keep the Tesseract from gaining control, while also pushing back the Aether and still needing to uphold all these illusions he had woven around Thor and not letting it show on his face how it all strained him.

"Malekith!" he shouted towards the Dark Elf to get his attention, "I'm Loki of Jotunheim. And I bring you a gift!"

He pushed Jane off him and in front of Malekith's feet. Shortly he was relieved to have her away from him, to be able to breath again. But almost instantly, his nerves were on fire and his thoughts churning.

First of all, he didn't want to hurt her and risk her life, because the need to protect her and the urge to do so because of the oath he'd sworn had set in. And because of the Tesseract trying to force him to get her back and away from Malekith. Loki had to restrain himself from getting Jane back and behind him again with sheer force of will. He was fighting two battles here.

Loki directed his thoughts back towards Malekith, getting his act together: "I ask only one thing in return: A good seat from which to watch Asgard burn!"

He saw Malekith hesitate and felt his doubt. But then, as he had suspected, the Kurse turned towards him and told him about the dungeon, that Loki had been there and was an enemy of Asgard, too. Loki only understood the gist of it, the Dark Elves' language was only barely the same as the one the High Elves of Alfheim spoke.

Malekith seemed to accept that and didn't question Loki further. Instead he turned towards Thor. Loki hadn't considered what he might do to Thor. He had thought that making him seem vulnerable was enough to get Malekith to discard him and only concentrate on Jane. He didn't know what he'd do when Malekith went for a killing blow. Would he risk their whole plan trying to save Thor? Then again, wouldn't their whole plan fail if Thor was dead because they would not be able to use Mjolnir anyway?

Luckily, he didn't have to worry or decide for an option. Malekith just wanted to torment a wounded animal some more and then was done with Thor. Loki let out a small, imperceptible sigh of relieve. Jane was shivering on the ground. Her mortal body flailing. It was now or never if they wanted to even have a chance for her to survive this.

Malekith meanwhile didn't take his eyes of Thor, forcing him to watch as he began to extract the Aether from Jane. He probably delighted in the fact that Thor's lover was entirely at his mercy.

But not just Thor... Loki was also watching Jane intently. He couldn't do much now. Malekith needed to extract the Aether. There was no other, safe _r_ way to do so.

The Tesseract was banging at his mental walls, screaming for him to step forwards, take in the Aether for himself. Loki stood his ground, biting his teeth.

The scarlet essence that was the Aether began to pour out of Jane.

Reluctantly.

It was putting up quite a fight, trying to stay inside of Jane or even trying to move towards him. But Malekith was strong. Whatever magic or abilities he had, he had mastered the art of subduing the Aether and making it bend to his will. The question was for how long...

He understood enough of the Aether by now to know that it would only take somebody's whims as long as it allowed them and had use of them. But if certain plans didn't serve its purpose it would rebel. And it still had his one major goal: Get to the Tesseract.

And Loki and Thor would make sure that neither Malekith nor the Aether could reach their goals.

.

* * *

.

When Loki had grabbed her and held her close, eliminating any possibility of escape, the Aether had started to go berserk inside of her. It was difficult to breath and stay focused. She tried to wrestle free from him – the true _monster_ – but all her strength had left her and all she could do in the end was grab onto his icy hand. Sear it off him to be let go.

And a moment later he did, in fact, push her away so that she landed in the dirt in front of Malekith. She was shivering, no, spasmed with the Aether that was spinning out of control and eating through her. In that moment, she just wanted to die. To make it stop. It was becoming too much.

And then she was lifted of the ground and felt an invisible force drag the Aether out of her. And it didn't do so gently. Or rather, the Aether fought the pull. It hooked itself into her, scratched along her inner walls, frantically trying to hold on. Jane had preferred it when it had still been burning through her...

 _You foolish, foolish mortal! And_ your _insolent, puny princes! They can't destroy me! I'm older then the universe, I am part of what created it! You foolish creatures! See where it leads you... See what you will let your precious universe faze!_

In a last frenzied and wasted attempt, the Aether showed her the vision again: Of Malekith releasing the Aether to plunge their world and the whole universe into bottomless darkness. And it was then that Jane realized and accepted that their plan truly wouldn't have worked even if Loki hadn't betrayed them and Thor could still use Mjolnir.

The Aether was way to powerful to be destroyed by Thor's lightning. They could only hope to subdue it and cage it like Bor had done. But it was too late for that now. They didn't have the means to trap it and Malekith was already starting to absorb it. And then they had Loki to deal with too... It really didn't look good for them...

The last remnants of the Aether had left her now and as soon as they had she hit the floor and momentarily blacked out. It was such a weird sensation, suddenly being without it. The heat was gone, that feeling of being not entirely alone in your body, the day-long fight against its control – it had all ebbed away and now she was just empty and exhausted. So, so tired...

The Aether had mostly sustained her and she hadn't eaten or drunk anything this morning, and, as trivial as it seemed, that made a huge difference...

She wanted to lift her head and look at Thor one last time. She knew that was the end. Once Malekith had absorbed the Aether, that would be it... their end...

.

* * *

.

The Aether was all out of Jane's system now, twisting and twirling in the air between them and the Dark Elves.

This brought the Tesseract in a full on frenzy and rebellion. It felt like a kick to the gut and a million knifes simultaneously piercing his skull. It was an effort to keep standing.

 _Sorry... not today..._ – Loki thought and gathered all his energy to fight the Tesseract from gaining control over him, at the same time, he felt himself slowly loosing control over the illusion cast over Thor.

It was now or never... Thor apparently agreed with him: "Loki! Now!"

He let go of the illusion. It felt exhilarating, letting go of one point of pressure and gaining back some more strength to use up elsewhere.

Thor had summoned Mjolnir again and Loki felt the electricity in the air, gathering around Thor.

Instinctively he lunged for Jane and shielded her. This was about to get messy...

While the Dark Elves and Malekith were still processing what was going on and frozen in their tracks, Thor aimed Mjolnir and all his thunderous power at the Aether. He felt Jane shudder and gasp beneath him. Of course she would still feel the attack despite the Aether having left her body... Part of it would probably always remain with her from now on. It had, at least, changed some of her mortal body's composition for evermore.

The crackling of Thor's lightning bolt and the smell of ozone, mixed with the sulphuric stench of Svartalfheim were filling the air around them. Loki's ears were ringing with the Tesseract's screams and he still felt Jane's discomfort acutely. And he could swear he heard the Aether scream too.

And then it exploded.

Thick black dust was everywhere obscuring Loki's vision. But he didn't have to be able to see to realize that something was still wrong. That Thor's attack had literally had zero effect. First of all, he still felt that connection to Jane fresh as ever.

Secondly the Tesseract had stopped screaming and was chuckling instead. Thirdly he had seen Jane's frantic expression as she had watched the Aether explode, she had already realized that it would not work. And, now, to confirm their suspicions, the Aether's scattered crystalline shards began to rise into the air and gather together.

Loki gripped Jane's shoulder a littler harder. He didn't know exactly what he was trying to do. Putting her behind him would do nothing if the Aether decided to drive back into her. If anything, it would make him the target.

But as it was, Malekith used the opportunity to draw all the shards to and into him. Loki had the nagging feeling that the Aether let him do it. And he had no idea what that would mean for them...

That was exactly why Loki despised risky plans that relied on chance. So many variables and they had all gone wrong for them...

Incredulously enough, Malekith didn't charge at them with all the might of the Aether. Instead, he turned around and headed towards his ship without sparing them another glance. Leaving his minions behind to finish them off instead.

Thor immediately went into battle mode, charging at the Dark Elves and smashing them away with Mjolnir. Then he prepared to fly at Malekith, full force. But the Kurse was faster, reaching for one of the space-disruptors at his side. Until the prison break, where Loki had witnessed him using one, he hadn't seen one and wouldn't have known what it could do.

But now he was perfectly aware of what would happen once the gravitational field got a hold of you. There was no escaping it and it would take your particles apart atom by atom. It was a tiny, portable black hole.

"Jane! Get down!" he had but mere seconds in which he barely managed to push Jane out of harms way and put himself in front of her again to shield her. Which, now, made him the direct target and put him straight into the midst of the building gravitational field. It hadn't even occurred to him to save himself and teleport himself away.

And it was not just because of that damn oath. Things had gotten too personal for that... He had to make sure Jane stayed safe. She had survived the Aether. How stupid would it be for her to die now? The universe certainly wasn't ready to part with such a remarkable human yet. He wasn't either. He still had unfinished business with her.

Which was ironic, because he was currently on the way to Hel. And it didn't make realizing his inevitable death easier. It only reminded him further of how much he had still wanted to say to Jane – and to Thor as well. How much he had still wanted to ask her and find out about her.

His eyes found hers, as he was sucked into the gravitational field and he could swear she was looking at him in equal despair, her arm reaching out towards him as if she could manage to drag him out of it. He reached for her to, nevertheless. Not to get a hold of her hand – that would mean dragging her down with him – but to just brush her fingers, in reassurance and goodbye and to feel her soft human skin one last time.

"Loki! No!", she cried out and foolishly tried to get up to help him, unmindful of the danger and sure death she would put herself in. Why would she do that? Why would she risk her life for him?

.

* * *

.

Jane couldn't believe her ears nor her eyes when Thor called out to Loki and Loki revealed the illusion he had cast on Thor. She was dumbstruck. That illusion... It had all looked so real! She had seen him sever Thor's hand! She swore she had even smelled the coppery tang of blood! How...

Of course magic... but what science lay behind it? How could his hand be gone and then not?

And why hadn't Jane realized that Loki was lying? She should have felt his true thoughts and emotions through their bond... Then again the Aether had, of course, preoccupied her mind a little and had made it difficult to think straight...

Talking about thinking straight: There were bigger issues ad hand to worry about than how Loki had managed to perfectly fool them... no, just her. Thor had apparently known it was all a scam the whole time...

She should have called out to Thor long ago, to tell him about the futility of striking down the Aether. But, now, he had already taken aim and than suddenly she was pressed down and a lean body, clad in green and gold leather, shielded her from the Thor's attack on the Aether.

Although part of her was still angry of him for not letting her in on the exact details of their plan and warning her that it really was all a scam, Jane was more relieved that Loki had kept true to his word and was on their side and protecting her. Oddly enough his looming presence and his hands on her shoulder soothed her frantic heart a bit and it relieved some of the pain she still felt when Thor's lightning struck the Aether. It's deafening scream was ringing in her ears.

When this was over and they survived this ordeal, Loki would still get a broadside from her, though, she swore to herself.

Regrettably, as of now, it didn't look good for them. The Aether had exploded into a million shards that Malekith collected and absorbed. She knew that he only managed that because the Aether had decided to let him be her host. It could have gone for her or Loki just as easily.

" _See you around Jane – later" it hissed at her, the last of it's essence flying past her. It sounded more than ominous, especially that "_ later _"_ _made Jane shudder involuntarily._

It took her a moment to process that Malekith was not intending to strike them down but instead turned around and headed for his ship. Because the Aether wasn't done with her... had, in fact, told her that just now...

Which didn't really add up because shortly after the weird Minotaur-Creature suddenly fired what looked like a grenade at them. Next thing she knew, Loki had pushed her out of the way and onto the ground yet again. The state of her palms and knees was sorry indeed.

The grenade exploded but instead of an explosion and flying splinters a gravitational field jumped into existence, just like that, creating a tiny black hole. If it hadn't been so dangerous and terrifying, Jane would have marvelled at it. At the possibility of its existence and the mechanics behind it.

But as things stood, it was currently creating such a suction that Loki was lifted of his feet and pulled towards it. And Jane had studied enough about black holes to know that even a tiny one like that couldn't mean anything good.

A helpless cry of despair left her lips and she shouted his name, unbidden. And then she did the only reasonable thing she could think of: She extended her arms and tried to get closer to him and haul him back. Even if it meant endangering her own life. He would not get to die here and now. She still wanted some answers and explanations! He still had another slap and a good telling-off coming for him and Jane would make sure she delivered it!

But of course she knew that it was pointless and she would never be able to compete against the immense force of the black hole's pull. Loki would die. He had realized and accepted this sooner than her. She blamed the frustration and anger about her utter uselessness to help him for the tears that coated her eyes. She certainly wasn't about to cry for him...

Loki's fingers almost touched hers and the look on his eyes was full of equal regret. This was goodbye.

.

* * *

.

Luckily, Thor had realized what was going on and, just in that moment, slammed against Loki with all his and Mjolnir's might to get them both out of reach of the black hole that was just then collapsing in on itself. Both of them landed hard on the ground some metres away.

Thor looked at Loki and he in turn stared back at him. There was an odd expression on his face and Loki hoped it was just incredulity and awe that Loki had actually risked his life for Jane. Oath or not. He couldn't possibly have noticed their odd non-verbal exchange...

Loki just nodded subtly in thanks and then both got up on their feet again. Thor immediately returned to action, swung Mjolnir around, and took off towards Malekith to strike him down.

Loki internally rolled his eyes. As commendable as his ambition and unwillingness to give up was, there was no point in going against Malekith now. They had to get together and make a steadfast plan to go up against him and not randomly and foolishly assault him which would not even cause a dent in his armour...

Malekith didn't even bother to turn around when Thor came charging at him. Instead, the Kurse lifted one arm and send Thor hurtling back against the rocks at the foot of a hill a little distance away. All Thor's foolish and rash decision had got them was an angry Kurse that had now decided to kill Thor and the rest of the minions being deployed to come for Loki and Jane...

Quickly, Loki turned towards Jane. All decorum and caution forgotten, his hands cupped her face to make her look at him: "Jane, listen: You have to hide. You have to get up and hide. I will get rid of the Dark Elves. Thor can't help you as the Kurse is not an easy foe to beat... I'll make you invisible to them but you have to promise me to hide and don't go for Thor! You don't have the Aether in you anymore to protect you."

Jane just nodded, still in a daze, by the looks of it. And if that was the case, then it explained why she had even tried to safe him. Clearly, she hadn't been in her right mind...

Shakily and with his help she got up, and Loki unwillingly let go of her. She stumbled towards some nearby rocks to hide behind and he, all the while, cast an illusion that masked her from the Dark Elves' sight.

Then he turned to face them. They had positioned themselves around him, caging him in from two sides. He would, therefore, have to take them on all at once. Well, he had always loved a challenge and as this was not Asgard he could play dirty. He was a master with daggers and close combat and he was a powerful mage. Those three foolish creatures would not stand a chance. So he struck.

It was reviving to finally be able to do something again. He wasn't even as out of shape as he would have thought after spending one year in the dungeons and no real physical exercise. It took him a little longer than in his good old days but he managed to dispose of them all quickly enough to see that things weren't going as well for Thor.

The power the Kurse wielded was remarkable. Not even Mjolnir seemed to have an effect on him. There was no stopping him with simple weapons such as swords or daggers, Loki knew that. There was only one thing that could destroy him, that destroyed any living creature. The Space-Disruptor.

And there was one still attached to the Kurse's belt. Loki just had to get close enough and activate it.

" _I don't like were you're going with this thought," the Tesseract's voice suddenly interrupted him._

It had actually broken through his mental wards. It must have been pretty determined to achieve that. Or maybe Loki was growing weaker after having had to fight both the Aether, a tiny black hole and all these Dark Elves. Maybe his constitution after a year of isolation wasn't as good as he'd at first thought...

Well, it might have gotten back into his head but it was not going to gain control and Loki was determined to shut it up and away again. He pretended he hadn't heard it and continued his train of thought.

There was one difficulty in activating the space-disruptor and keeping the Kurse from realizing it. If Loki got behind it and tried to activate it, it would feel it and know. Also it would be too close to Thor and could, therefore, take him down with it...

No, he would have to go against it up front.

" _How ironic. Barely escaped certain death just now, and already seeking it again... How foolish can one be? Stop this silly endeavour right now! Or this time it will definitely be the end of your luck..." the Tesseract warned him._

But if it meant saving Thor – and Jane? If it meant giving them a chance to still be able to go up against and eventually defeat Malekith? Then he would sacrifice himself. Moreover, the Kurse was the one who had killed Frigga, his mother. He had come here for revenge, hadn't he? Well, then he would finally get it! And giving his life, therefore, was a small price to pay.

Besides, there was nothing else in life for him to return to anymore anyway. Frigga was gone, Thor would only bring him back to Asgard to put him back into his cell and he wasn't going to take his chances on whether Thor would come around in a short while to release him or if he never would. Odin would definitely oppose any proposal that included his name and the word _"free"_.

 _The Tesseract bristled: "And what about precious Jane? Didn't you want to know so much more about her?"_

Well, Jane would not really be his concern anymore afterwards. It had only been the Aether and _Tesseract's_ schemes that had brought them together, in the first place, and it had been the oath, he had sworn to Thor, that made him want to protect her. The Aether was gone now and he was certain that Thor would manage to cage it without him. The last threat to Jane's life on this mission was the Kurse, and he would soon be dealt with, which would lift that oath as well. Plus, there was a chance that the Tesseract would vanish in his pocket universe, never to be found again, too, once Loki died.

" _What utter foolishness! I won't be gone just because you die! I am older than the universe, in fact, shaped it together with my siblings. We can't be so easily destroyed and get rid of!"_

Which didn't mean they could never be destroyed, though...

Anyway, and lastly, he had no qualms about leaving Jane and this dreadful existence behind. The Norns could look for some other pawns to mess around with...

And besides, he had wanted to die and nearly had died once already. What was so difficult about doing it again? And for a good cause at that?

" _Because you will regret this! This foolery! I won't let this happen!" the Tesseract screeched but Loki payed it no heed just like he had ignored it before._

Instead, he took a deep breath and finally teleported towards where Thor and the Kurse were fighting. He deliberately didn't look back at where Jane was standing and watching. He had to get this over with. His death would also help her. She would not have to cope with any conflicting emotions on her part anymore and could lead that happy life with her charming prince – soon to be king – Thor.

" _Don't you want to ask her about those conflicting emotions and what she wants instead of just deciding that for yourself? Maybe her emotions aren't as conflicted as you claim and she just has to be honest with herself first. Maybe she won't be happy with Thor in the end? You can't just keep on denying the truth I've offered you once. She is your soulmate. Killing yourself won't help anyone!"_

That's exactly what someone would say that's desperately trying to reach it's objective, knowing that it's about to loose. So, no, Loki would not heed its warning nor change his mind.

Loki finally conjured up an old metal rod that he had stored in his pocket universe what felt like aeons ago. It vaguely resembled one of the Dark Elves broadswords, now that he came to think of it. How fitting.

Then he took a steadying breath and positioned himself behind the Kurse.

" _Stop this! You fool!", cried the Tesseract. If he just imagined, it could be Jane's voice._

Loki thrust the piece of metal into the creatures back with all his might. Jane didn't care enough about him to stop him.

The Kurse instantly stopped beating up Thor, who already looked pretty battered – and turned around. Of course Loki had known that stabbing him would do literally nothing. But that hadn't been the point.

Loki prepared himself for the inevitable. His heart betraying his cool by beating frantically. This had been his objective. There was no backing out now.

The Kurse grabbed him. And then impaled him in return. Accompanied by Thor's dismayed roar and the Tesseract frenzied scream.

Just as Loki had predicted: That creature, despite all its physical strength, was still rather primitive and too full of himself. It didn't even question why Loki had just stood there and not done anything to protect himself...

And bathing in his own foolish glory of besting Loki, he didn't notice when Loki activated the space-disruptor at his side. Instead he pushed him from him, ejecting the sword with it and huffed derisively at him as Loki lay there bleeding.

His insides were screaming and burning. The Tesseract seemed to be loosing his mind at his foolishness as well. And it was all he could do to bite down the pain and look at the Kurse as the space-disruptor prepared to detonate, and say: "See you in Hel, monster!"

Only then did it even realize what had happened but it was already to late. The space-disruptor imploded, taking the Kurse with him. Loki had done it. It didn't alleviate any of his pain though. And the satisfaction of having avenged Frigga also only lasted a second with death looming so close.

Thor was at his side now, cradling his head, chanting an enumeration of _"No"s_ that wouldn't change a thing. _Sentiment_...

"You fool!" old habits seemed to die hard, even on his death bed Thor was not beyond insulting him, "You didn't listen!"

Well, why was Thor still so surprised? Loki wasn't one for following orders... Their plan had been that, if things went south, he would stay with Jane, protect her and leave the main fighting to him. Especially the Kurse. Vaguely, Loki remembered Thor telling him that he shouldn't enact his revenge on the Kurse, shouldn't act rashly. Of course, Thor thought that that was what he'd done. Come to get his revenge anyway... But it was only a morsel of the reasons why he had done it... And now there wasn't time to explain...

"I know..." it became harder to speak, to ignore the pain that was ripping him apart and the blood loss that was making him dizzy, "I'm a fool, I'm a fool!" – _for not telling you the truth about New York, Thanos and the Dark Order. For not trusting in you to understand. For hurting you and trying to kill you in following my delusions and warped dreams... For not handling this whole mission better, for thinking I was above the power of the infinity stones..._

"Stay with me!" Thor commanded, "Stay with me!" – as if he could command death to just come back another time...

Loki didn't have much time left to reassure Thor that he would be fine, lying to him one last time. He still had to convey so much other stuff to Thor: "I'm sorry, so sorry." _– For all the wrongs I've committed. For the hurt I've caused. For having been such a disappointing brother. For not thinking of a better solution to stop the Kurse fast enough. For not telling you of infinity stones and fate and the things they made me feel for Jane. What Jane herself made me feel for her. I'm sorry for not being able to help you stop Malekith._

"It's alright!", Thor reassured him, trying to stop the inevitable from happening by saying these positive statements that meant nothing, that wouldn't save him. But at least that was some of the forgiveness he had wanted to receive from Thor for so long.

Thor went on: "I'll tell father what you did here today!"

Loki, if he had had the strength left, would have liked to sigh and roll his eyes. _Father._ Odin... as if his actions would change a damn thing in his opinion of Loki. As if Loki still longed for his approval and praise. He had long since buried those ambitions and any cordial feelings for Odin and hope for his forgiveness. It was not as if he would get to see Odin apologize for his bad parenting and unfair trial anyway.

He had gone on that mission – he had risked his life for Jane and Thor, first and foremost, to avenge Frigga – his _mother_. To make _her_ proud up in Valhalla, from where she was surely watching them. He had also done it to make sure Thor could have his happy life as king, now, with his mortal consort. He had done it to save Jane's life – the feelings he had for her still too new to properly grasp them and accept why he had needed to protect her so much.

" _But Thor would never know that. He would never get to know and realize a plethora of things now. Only what Jane would be able to tell him, if she even chose to open up to him and confess everything that had gone on with you both... Are you happy now?" the Tesseract was beyond angry, "This is not the end!"_ But it was.

Loki felt light-headed. The pain was no longer bothering him. There was only one thing on his mind. _Jane._ He would have liked to see her face one last time.

Instead he beheld the greenish grey sky of Svartalfheim. The last place he had wanted to die and be buried at.

What a shame that he didn't have any strength left to teleport himself to Alfheim. To die beneath the canopies of the high oaks in a bed of wild flowers... Feeling so light... and floating... and free...

Loki released a final breath, his eyes falling shut.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: Don't own Marvel or any of the characters though sometimes I wish I did so that I could fix some of the major bs they pulled with Loki... But well that's what fix-it fics are for right?

I actually started this fic a year ago in response to Infinity War - as a way to cope... Well, now that Endgame has equally fucked me up here we are again... I finally managed to finish a new chapter and have already go some pretty cool ideas for the next one and am really looking forward to posting that as well soon! So sorry for the delay again... Enjoy!

* * *

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Jane had stumbled behind a stray rock and slid down against it. She was still dizzy and unsteady on her feet. All this – Loki's fake-real-betrayal, the Aether's extraction, the black-hole-grenade and now Loki telling her to hide had happened too fast. She just needed a second to get her bearings and take a breath. The sulphuric air all around her wasn't really helping with that, though.

At the same time, however, Jane hated being on the sidelines and felt restless and in need of contributing something to the fight, even though she knew that she was more of an easy target than actual match for the Dark Elves that had cornered Loki.

Still, she needed to know what was going on, at least. So, she peeked around the rock towards Loki. He was handling the Dark Elves with ease, his movements fast and efficient but still graceful like a dancer's. It was fascinating to watch.

Then, seeing as Loki was in no immediate danger, she looked out for Thor.

Gosh, she had actually looked for Loki first instead of him... Jane didn't want to consider the implications... It must have been the fact that Loki had conveniently been in her immediate line of vision... Or it had got to have been her addled mind, for sure...

That was also the only acceptable explanation as to why she had tried to save Loki from that black hole before... She really hoped that Thor hadn't noticed anything of what had gone on between the two of them in that short instant...

She, herself, wasn't entirely sure, what had happened between them exactly... The weird feeling of despair and fear that had filled her heart... the wash of relief once Thor had gotten Loki out of harms way...

Speaking of Thor... Jane directed her fuzzy thoughts to were he was fighting.

In contrast to Loki, he was not doing so well... The Kurse was just in that instant hauling a huge boulder at him and Jane feared this would be it. She had, however, forgotten that Thor was a god. While being hit by a huge and heavy rock must not have been pleasant he at least looked mostly unscathed from this distance. But when he summoned Mjolnir and the Kurse brushed it away as if it was a fly Jane truly began to worry.

Jane turned her gaze back towards Loki to see how he was faring and whether he could help Thor.

She had to take a double take. All the Dark Elves lay scattered on the floor showing various stab wounds and slashed throats. Jane was too shocked and disassociated to really care that Loki had killed them all so brutally – so efficiently – a small part of her thought, too.

Previously, Jane might have held the opinion that there were no such things as purely evil beings in existence. Well, how wrong she had been. She had seen Loki's memory of Thanos and his minions and the Dark Elves were not any different. Both had no sense for moral or goodness...

So, she wasn't exactly sorry that they were dead... They had had it coming for them when they decided to take on Loki... Loki, who she realised was not at all comparable to the Dark Elves nor Thanos... He really didn't fit that villainous, all evil picture that she had formerly applied to him at all anymore... But what he was instead, Jane still had no answer to.

"Jane..."

Speaking of the devil, his voice came from just a little behind her and she whirled around to find him standing there and looking at her with a soft smile playing around his lips. She couldn't exactly put her finger on it but there was something inexplicably sad about this small smile and the gleam in his green eyes.

"I think Thor needs your help, I'm perfectly safe here" Jane blurted out, entirely too uncomfortable with him so close and Thor so far away, remembering what had happened in the dream-orchard...

Loki gave a soft scoffing laugh at that and cast his eyes away from hers. Surely she had only imagined the hurt that had quickly flashed over his eyes.

"I know. And I am helping him – shortly – I just wanted to say thank you."

Jane scowled: "Why thank me? And why now? We don't really have the time now, do we?"

"Just let me thank you" he went on, undeterred, "Thank you for trying to save me before – with the space-disruptor. And thank you for saving me even before that, in ways you'll probably never realise. It was a pleasure to get to know you, Jane."

"Why does this sound like goodbye?" Jane finally grasped his intentions and began to scream at him in outrage, "You can't just leave us here! We have no way of getting back without you! Thor trusts you! I trusted you! Don't you dare! I thought... After... but, no, you prove to be just as despicable as before!"

"I'm sorry..." was all he said and then he was in front of her and his hand was on her cheek. And yet it was just like a wisp of air – not substantial enough like flesh and bone. But before she could proceed to slap his hand away he had already vanished. He was just gone... Off to some place safe while they were left to die on this godforsaken planet...

Jane wanted to scream at Loki. Hit him around the head. Most of all, she wanted to scream at herself for even trusting him in the first place and believing that he had really changed and was on their side now, for trying to help him, for developing these _crazy_ feelings for him...

But she didn't get the chance to mellow in her anger because at that exact moment a horrible, heart-wrenching scream tore through the air, she had only heard one other time... When Frigga had died...

Jane whirled around to the sound and, realising what she beheld, immediately started running.

Thor was holding Loki.

Loki, who she thought had just vanished to who-knows-where to live his mischievous life, leaving them behind. But no, how foolish of her... how short-sighted. She had seen who he really was, he had (if also involuntarily) laid his heart almost fully open to her... He had proven that he cared about Thor... and her... that he fought with them... and still she had thought he was the enemy... still, she had yet again thought him only capable of betrayal and nothing more...

And now here he was, dying in Thor's arms. Because he had actually sacrificed himself for Thor, for them... And her last words to him had been once of anger... of hate... of distrust, not believing in him and filled with the acrid feeling of betrayal... Exactly like everyone else had always viewed him... And he had to die with the knowledge that he would always be viewed like that...

It suddenly became hard to breathe. Even more so than previously. As if someone was clenching her windpipe tightly together. And her heart felt like a thousand tiny knifes simultaneously stabbed through it. She hadn't known him like Thor or Frigga had, she had only recently discovered the _true_ Loki.

And those weird feelings that arose from him being around her were also too fresh to make any sense of them just yet, but still it hurt so much. Seeing him die, knowing that he would not survive this. That she would not get to talk to him again, to apologize, to dig a little deeper into his past and motives and confront him on their kiss... To settle things between them and whatever the infinity stones had started...

Now all she could do was stand here and watch.

And Jane felt so utterly, f****** useless. Of course, even with the Aether she wouldn't have been able to change a thing, except for maybe taking on the Kurse herself instead of him... Dying instead of him. Because hands down, this was all her fault. She should be the one lying there. Loki was the second person dying because of the Aether and her involvement with it... And no, it was definitely not what he deserved...

She wanted to step closer, take Loki's hand as the last breath left him, consoling Thor who had now lost both his mother and brother in a matter of hours... But, instead, she stayed where she was, unable to move, to feel anything other than cold numbness.

Thor looked at her, one last tear escaping his eyes, then he let go of Loki, stood up and came towards her and crushed her into a tight hug. She hugged him back, opting not to tell him that his hug was slightly too tight, because he needed and deserved it. Therefore, she didn't complain. Instead, she focused on Loki's dead body, the greyness of his skin, like singed parchment. She could just make out some of the darker swirls on his cheekbones, testament to his frost giant origin, now, in death, made visible.

Jane would have liked to see his true form in all its vibrancy and glory for real. Another thing that would not be possible any longer. Jane finally cast away her eyes, that were still burning with unshed tears, and broke the hug.

"I'm so sorry, Thor" Jane finally consoled him and stroked his wet cheek lovingly.

He grabbed a hold of her hand and nodded in gratitude. Then he looked behind her and sighed: "We have to go. There's a storm coming and we should find some shelter before it strikes. And then we have to find out how to get back to Asgard or to where-ever Malektih went off to..."

Jane nodded and then her gaze shifted past Thor to Loki: "What about Lo... Loki's body?"

Thor turned around and glanced at it quickly as well, new hurt flashing across his face: "We can't take him with us now... It would only slow us down... As soon as we've made it back to Asgard and figured out a way to stop Malekith and destroy the Aether, I will come back and get his body so that he can get a proper burial... But for now... there's nothing I can do..."

Jane understood. But she also couldn't help but be angry that Thor had chosen not to study magic like Loki had but instead condemned it. It would have been handy and if roles had been reversed Loki would have been able to transport Thor's body back without difficulty, she was certain of that...

But well, no point in being bitter about that now... they really had bigger things to worry about... And once the convergence was truly upon them and Malekith used the Aether to call up eternal darkness there was no need for any funerals anyway...

Jane had to focus on that. On the issue at hand. The here and now and how to get of this planet and to earth... Jane's eyes snapped to the slope they had come from at the beginning. She remembered that there had been cavern-like hills just behind it. And their ship was there as well. They could find shelter in one of the caves and then try to make the ship work once more...

"Thor? Let's head back to the ship. I think there were some caves there as well that could provide protection from the storm," Jane told him, and after looking at the slope for some seconds Thor nodded and started to proceed towards it, tugging her close.

"It's the best we can do for now, I guess. There we can think about how to proceed. I doubt we will be able to make the ship start again without Seidr, though... I can only try to contact Heimdall, given that he wasn't imprisoned by Odin for helping us... He's the only one that can get us out of here..."

Jane cringed, despair beginning to nib at her heart: "Perfect... Let's just hope that Heimdall is still around to help then..."

Thor squeezed her shoulder in reassurance and then both of them started to track back through the dunes towards the slope. The storm steadily increased, enveloping them in thick swirls of sand and sulphur. She was too busy trying to stand upright and fight the wind to think of anything else, which was a relief. Jane knew she would not be able to handle the guilt and despair that would rush at her as soon as her brain was given the time to think and process what had happened.

This way time slipped by unnoticed and soon she found herself stumbling into one of the caves, Thor on her heels. She found some small rocks to sit on and rest for a second. Then she remembered that Thor didn't know about her vision – about anything concerning the Aether really – she had never gotten the chance to talk to him about it... only ever with Loki... A new wave of guilt clawed at her.

Jane took a deep breath: "We have to find a way out of here as fast as possible. Malekith is going to unleash it. And not just on a planet or star – he's going to earth. I just don't know why he would go to earth of all places – planets – exactly?"

Thor frowned: "The Convergence. It must be. With it the Aether's power will not just be limited to one planet but can expand quickly to several planets and solar systems in a matter of seconds... And earth is right in the middle of it... This is bad..."

A new wave of despair rushed at Jane and she wanted to scream – at herself, at god – if there was one – at fate or karma, at Malekith and most of all at the Aether.

"None of this would have happened if I hadn't found the Aether..." Jane burst out angrily, remembering Frigga's death, the invasion and destruction of Asgard, Loki's death, the possible destruction of the whole universe that the Aether had shown her...

"Then Malekith would have only possessed it that much sooner..." Thor tried to sooth her, stroking her shoulder. He seemed much calmer already. Loss must not be such a grievance to him as it was to her. Or maybe he had gone into shock and denial mode for now...

As for Malekith finding the Aether sooner, she doubted that. He had only gotten wind of it after she had accidentally used it and if she hadn't stumbled upon it, if she hadn't been so terribly fragile and human, causing her to forget about it inhabiting her, she maybe would have been able to fight it down sooner instead of letting it attack the poor police officer and Eir and leading the Dark Elves to Asgard...

Or maybe what if she just hadn't gone off after Darcy and ignored her instruments for once? After all, she had just been about to start a new chapter of her life, was moving forward again? What if she had ignored the readings, had stayed on that date? The kids would have continued their silly games with the anti-gravitational-worm-hole field, non the wiser of the sleeping Aether nearby and the Convergence would have come and went without much of a fuss...

But no... she had had to be too curious for her own good. She had had to throw caution and resolve to the wind and check out the site... She had had to get her hopes up for Thor – a man that had ignored her for the last two years despite having been able to visit her...

With bitter regret Jane finally said: "I only found it because I was looking for you..."

Which actually was only half the truth of it. The other half was that the Aether somehow actively had had a hand in her finding it specifically... But she felt that now wasn't the time to dive into that story because she would have to explain the infinity stones... and that little detail with Loki and the Tesseract and their connection and here and now was definitely not the time for that...

So Jane stayed quiet and left it at that explanation, which Thor easily took up, sounding truly sorry when he said her name and tried to stop her from blaming herself. She hoped he realised, though, what it meant that she had even spent two precious years of her short mortal life clinging on to him and pining after him... That he realised that he should never leave her hanging like that again and his absence and lack of explanation were to blame for this as well to some degree...

"Well, and now we're trapped here..." Jane sighed, realising that Thor wouldn't take the hint and see how he was also partly at fault here...

He was just about to say something – probably something to reassure her – when suddenly her phone started vibrating in her dress pocket and blaring out some awful sound – a rap song she realised and cursed Darcy for messing with her phone yet again. But the more important issue was that it was even ringing in the first place. How was this possible?

Jane looked at the phone mesmerized and then answered it – Dan's voice greeted her – with all that had gone on she had completely forgotten about him that it even took her a second to recognise his name and voice at all. She was still shocked that this was actually happening and her mind was already whirling with possibilities of what this meant.

She didn't even listen to what Dan talked to her about, she just needed him to keep on talking and hold that connection while she used it to look for the source and possible wormhole. And sure enough she found Darcy's car keys and the soda can they had thrown at the other side of their wormhole what seemed like ages ago but actually had only happened yesterday.

God – Fate – or whoever created these lucky coincidences be blessed! She turned around to grin at Thor who had followed what was going on to some degree but also looked rather confused. Jane remembered that Dan had asked about another date which she had agreed to and that Thor had probably heard all that. Ah, well, she would explain and settle that later. For now they had to save the world – or well the whole universe!

* * *

...

Loki opened his eyes and was greeted by the green, gold-flecked canopy of an apple tree – an Idun tree to be exact – and he knew immediately that he was in the orchard again. His favourite spot growing up and his and Frigga's personal, secret meeting place.

Lightning fast he was on his feet and as he had suspected there she was. Leaning against the Idun tree opposite of his in all her regal glory, smiling at him with warmth and love.

"Hello my dear son. – Walk with me?" She extended her arm towards him.

"Mother..." Loki breathed, overwhelmed with the sensation of her just standing there mere feet from him. Speechless and totally transfixed Loki took her arm and together they began to walk down the orchard.

He couldn't believe it. That she was here. Or rather that he was here with her because this had to be Valhalla, as his mother's spirit wpuld surely had been admitted through its gates. But he had not thought he'd be worthy to make it here. He had been so sure to be sent to Hel facing eternal punishment for everything he'd done... It was what he deserved after all. Less than that even...

He wasn't sure whether to believe this to be true therefore... it seemed too good, too impossible.

But then there was Frigga... How else would he be able to ever see her again if not in Valhalla? Also it was so quiet here and so peaceful. It woke old memories of simpler and happier times without worries about who would become king, about infinity stones and possibly having a mortal soul mate, without death and destruction beckoning from every corner... Just him and Frigga just like they'd been back then when they had been practising magic and he had felt loved and accepted...

But he just had to know...

"Mother is this actually Valhalla?" Loki finally asked, breaking the silence.

Frigga squeezed his elbow, her smile never faltering when she looked at him and replied: "You will know it when you see it, my son. It seems you are not yet ready."

And just like that his illusions where shattered. But it wasn't such a harsh blow as he had already suspected this to be a farce... Although he now wasn't sure where that put him... Where was he? Becasue it was not Hel either...

"What does that mean? I died didn't I?" Loki frowned at her.

Frigga stopped and turned fully towards him now. She lifted her hand to his cheek, patting it softly and Loki grabbed a hold of her hand to reassure himself that she was really there and to keep her from leaving. Because this seemed very much like she was about to leave him. The people he loved, they always tended to do that one way or the other. But he wasn't ready to lose his mother again so quickly. If this really was her he still needed to tell her so many things!

"Your thread has not been cut yet, it is still woven. You're fate is too entwined with the infinity stones and the universe still needs you" she told him not without empathy.

Loki felt how the calm he had felt until now instantly evaporated, and all the burdens he thought he had finally cast aside with sacrificing himself returned at once: "But why me mother? I've caused enough destruction as it is, the universe can't possibly want me in it any more..."

"Oh my dear boy," Frigga made that slightly surprised-shocked and hurt looking face that was inherently hers and that he knew to well because he had often given her reason to make that face lately... before she had been killed that is... "You are probably one of the most important pieces in this huge cosmic scheme! Yes, you have made mistakes, you have caused horrible things to happen – some of them your own doing, some of them not" – at the surprised and incredible look he gave her Frigga just shook her head – "Loki, you of all people should have realized that I'd get behind what happened to you! Eir is not just loyal to you and in case you forgot I'm a witch and a seer!"

"When did you find out? Or what exactly do you know?" Loki needed a second to process that his mother might possbliy know _everything_! Everything he had tried to hide from her, to keep from burdening her with and tarnishing that image she had of him... showing how week and unworthy he was, how pathetic and undeserving of her love and all she had done for him...

"I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for you sooner... I guessed that something must have happened to you after you fell from the Rainbow Bridge... Something in my weaving never seemed quite right afterwards... And then with Jane appearing things got even weirder but I felt I was close to discovering the truth... but I only got the whole picture after my death... I know about Thanos and his plan and I know about the Infinity Stones and their plan which would be very much in accordance with Thanos if he plays it right...

Loki gasped: "You mean he isn't just after the Tesseract but after all the other Stones as well?"

Frigga nodded: "Getting the Tesseract was just the beginning. Whatever he told you, whatever he made you think he was after or needed the Tesseract for, it was just the start. He is on the move to collect them all... and my weaving had been telling me this all along – This great evil stirring! I don't know what he wants to do once he got all the stones together but I fear it is not good... And that's where you come into play, my dear, all the wrongs you've done? You have the chance to atone for them! To help set it all right!"

"So what do you want me to do? Go up against Thanos? Kill him?", Loki laughed half hysterically, "I can't... The Dark Order protects him, his two daughters as well... I might be powerful but I won't be able to overpower them... Even if I relied on the Tesseract's power... it's too unpredictable... It could very well consume me again and then Thanos would have his first Infinity Stone without even trying..."

"Who said you had to go up against him alone? I heard great things about the Avengers from Thor, and that Jane... she's got fire in her as well and could be a helpful asset! Besides it's not just about going up against Thanos, it's about getting on good terms with the Infinity Stones. You don't just have to learn how to keep them from taking over your mind, you also have to bargain with them, make them a better offer than Thanos or any other foul creature could make them."

"You can't bargain with an Infinity Stone! They are the most powerful entities in the entire universe and they don't play by our rules!" Loki tried to reason with his mother's ridiculous notion.

Frigga sighed: "Yes, that's just it! Stop treating them as vile objects that are out for your blood but as living, reasonable beings – a species of their own if you so will! Extremely powerful living beings that can shape and bend the universe to their will, but beings no less. Bring them on your side and Thanos won't stand a chance!"

"But wouldn't that be essentially like what Thanos plans? Uniting all the Stones... Shouldn't we avoid just that? Isn't that the most dangerous thing to do?"

"No. On the contrary: The Infinity Stones were never meant to be used and they weren't even meant to be apart! Once, they had been one whole entity which then was split apart... The universe has tried to pull them back together ever since! What Thanos wants is _use_ them but kept apart. He would never let them truly reunite. But you would have to do just that! And afterwards they would be no more, they would just exist as one as they have before and everything would be back to the way it ought to be. There would be no more battles over who got to use which individual stone for what purpose. Apart they only cause discord, envy and avarice. Joined together they would no longer be there to be coveted and used."

"You really think so?" Loki was still sceptical. Though his mother's words made a lot of sense he had a hard time trusting them. He had been conditioned to expect the worst or a catch or trap for so long now that it was difficult have faith.

Frigga smiled at him reassuringly and squeezed his hand: "I am positive."

Then her smile faded and her eyes filled with regret and sadness: "Time grows short and there's so much more I'd like to say... Just know that I love you and that you should not blame yourself for my death, neither should you blame Jane, Thor or Odin. And if you can find it in you then try and forgive Odin... Like Thor he was never of the perceptive kind and I believe he will come around and pardon you. Just remember what we talked about here and be strong my son! I believe in you and trust that you will save this universe."

Loki who had hardly been able to suppress his tears before now let them run freely. He did not want to go back. He did not want to save the universe. It could rot for all he cared. He just wanted to stay here with his mother and talk and share their Seidr together... And there was so much he wanted to tell her as well now that she knew about Thanos... And he also wanted to confront her about Odin and Thor and all the things that had still never been settled between them...

Instead he just managed to choke out: "I love you. And I take back what I said before: You are my mother. You always will be. I miss you so much."

"I know, Loki, I know," with this she rose on her toes and he bend his head so that she could place a soft kiss on his forehead just like she used to do when he was but a boy. Then she stepped back and gave him one last loving smile, while stroking away one of the tears that was caught on his cheek, "Be brave, stay mischievous and reconcile with Thor! Remember: You're stronger together than divided! The sun will shine on all of us again before long, you'll see!

And with that, just like every time after she had visited him in his cell, she vanished in a wash of glimmering, golden light. And with her went the trees and the orchard.

Loki came to instantly, feeling like his body was on fire. He took a lungful of air – acrid Svartalfheim air, but better than nothing. His heart was beating frantically, every limb, every muscle hurt when he moved them. But shockingly enough he was actually alive.

 _And who is to thank for that? That's right: me! I told you I would not let you off yo easily..._

Loki groaned, feeling the Tesseract in the pocket of his coat and seeing the light blue shimmer of it: "How did you even? I stored you in my pocket universe..."

 _Which collapsed enough for me to escape when you died. It was a close call, I nearly didn't manange to bring you back in time..._

I wish you wouldn't have...

 _Oh, I know you do. But here we are! Also, while we're at it, don't you want to thank me for arranging that lovely meeting with your mother?_

How did you even do that? Was it _really_ real or were you playing with me and my memories again?

 _You know I can't mess with memories and let you see things that aren't true – I'm not my brother – the_ mind stone – _, you know? If anything, I am just a tinsy-tiny bit good at riling people up and showing them some rather unpleaseant truths that's all._

 _I am however the_ space stone _and there are several spaces to be occupied, death is but another of your so called pocket universes, if you wish, and it was rather easy communicating to your mother to come and join one alternative with you, while I healed you._

Well, then consider me greatful... You could have given us a few more minutes though...

 _I am powerful, but creating rifts like that which shouldn't even exist is not recommendable for a longer period of time..._

How long can one such rift stay open?

 _I haven't really gotten the chance to practice and experiment with that sort of thing that often, but, and I don't want to brag here, but. I could maybe hold it open for a minute or two longer..._

Interesting... I will definitely come back to that...

 _Wait... Does this mean we're a team again?_

For the time being, it certainly seems so...

 _What world-altering words has mother dearest only spoken to you to cause that change of heart?_

Wouldn't you like to know?

 _As a matter of fact, yes, I would._

Let's just say I'm more willing to partner up with you now than before.

 _So does this mean we're gonna go and get the Aether back now? Your brother and your soulmate have already left, we could join them in an instant!_

First of all: Stop calling her that – she's no such thing. Secondly, I'm sorry, but I've got a different agenda right now. I trust that Thor and his mortal will take care of the Aether. I have to get back to Asgard first now.

 _What are you scheming?_

I'm going to confront someone - now that I finally can...


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: Don't own Marvel or any of the characters!

Alright folks, I'm so sorry for misleading you... again? ... This is not the chapter I've been on about the previous one... It will have to wait till next time. This is just a quick tie-over but including that other planned chapter would have just been to long and I want it separate because it is going to be the end of this part and the beginning of a new one which will also finally deal with the question how I'm gonna fit in Ragnarok and the mess that was IW and EG into this...

But for now enjoy this :) My perspective on how Loki got the throne :D

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Jane couldn't believe that they had actually defeated Malekith. They had actually won and secured the Aether. And the losses weren't even too great. No deaths just many injured and lots of material damage, which might hurt on a cultural level, but was ultimately replaceble and not as bad as human lives lost.

Now in the aftermath Jane could do nothing more than sit around their kitchen table together with Erik, Darcy and her intern, (who's name she regrettably had major difficulties remembering), drink coffee and be relieved that they had all survived the ordeal and were mostly unscathed.

Additionally Jane waited for Thor to return.

He had told her he needed to retunr and talk to his father. Jane had already had forgotten that at the beginning of their ordeal they had in a way committed treason, so Thor needed to fix this. And he had to take the Aether to Asgard anyway to lock it away there for now. Jane had wanted to tell him that keeping it on Asgard was probably not such a good idea with the Tesseract there as well, but she still hadn't found the courage to tell him everything that was connected with that knowledge.

Also he had vanished faster than she could say goodbye so there hadn't been enough time...

So, she could either take his abrupt leaving as a sign of him wanting to get this Aether and treason matter quickly over with to be able to return to her as fast as possible...

Or it could mean the complete opposite, namely, that he wanted to be back in Asgard without delay and would probably need at least another two years to come back...

She didn't want to think that way but the seeds of doubt had been sown... And she didn't want to get her hopes up only to be dissapointed again...

After all, it had only been two days since he'd been gone... Nothing major. She had told Darcy as much, who despite wanting to reassure her that Thor would be back still didn't hold back any unwanted comments as to _the last time_ he had left...

She reminded her of Loki in that way...

And now her thoughts were back at square one... They always seemed to wander back to _him_.

Another downside of the inability to do anything else than stay at home and settle back into normalicy was that she got a lot of time on her hand now to think... Which also included thinking about things she'd rather not think about and forget...

And that's was where all these doubt and worries even camefrom in the first place...

All thanks to Loki... and these damned memories...

 _His hands were gripping her waist, pushing her back against the tree. And then he began trailing kisses down her jaw, her neck and back up to her mouth,_

 _It wasn't a soft kiss. It wasn't gentle, like she was used to from Thor, who kissed her like he was afraid of breaking her. Loki knew that she could take it. That she was no fragile little butterfly..._

 _It was exhilarating. She hadn't thought it possible to even feel the things she did_

 _It wasn't real. No one saw them, no one would know._ _But she would always remember..._

Kissing the god of mischief... Thor's brother... Enjoying it... Preposterous! Traitorous! ...

" _Jane! Get down!" he barely managed to push Jane out of harms way and put himself in front of her to shield her. It hadn't even occurred to him to save himself and teleport himself away. His eyes found hers, as he was sucked into the gravitational field, her arm reaching out towards him as if she could manage to drag him out of it. He reached for her too, nevertheless._

" _Loki! No!", she cried out and foolishly tried to get up to help him, unmindful of the danger and sure death she would put herself in. Why would she do that? Why would she risk her life for him?_

He risked his life to save her, just as she tried to safe him... In the end she couldn't... In the end he died...

" _Just let me thank you" he had told her, undeterred, "Thank you for trying to save me before – with the space-disruptor. And thank you for saving me even before that, in ways you'll probably never realise. It was a pleasure to get to know you, Jane. I'm sorry..."_

She would have liked to get to know him better, too, now that she had finally gotten a glimpse into the real him... Now that she understood...

She wanted to voice her feelings, to better understand them, to tell someone about Loki and what had happened...

But she couldn't...

No one could ever know... Erik and Darcy they wouldn't understand... especially Eric... She should think of him, what Loki did to him – mind-controlled or not – she had sworn never to forgive him for it... And still she had... still she had indulged this connection between them... talked to him... _kissed_ him... _Traitor_...

No... they could never get to see who he really was because they damn well wouldn't believe a word she said if she told them anyway... She even doubted whether Thor would believe her... How and where would she even begin to explain? Of course leaving out the kissing part... That would do no one any good... That memory would die with her...

Those where the thoughts that kept her occupied, that had made her only semi-responsive and rather zombielike those previous days...

Just like now as they were all eating breakfast.

Well everyone except for Eric who was just sitting there looking at nothing in particular but seeming rather uncomfortable – he probably remembered the _last time_ , too, when Thor had left her and days grew to weeks and weeks to months and Jane had let herself wallow in heartache and, yes, selfishly also griefed the missed opportunity.

She had so very much wanted to go to Asgard... And with Thor not returning she had thought that maybe everything had just been a dream after all and she would never get to see space, another inhabitable planet and most importantly study the Bifrost-wormhole at all...

Until S.H.I.E.L.D, who had taken their sweet time, had asked her to join them on a project here in London and she had reluctantly agreed. She would work for them, take their money but she swore to still work on her own with Darcy and Eric and if she would discover something groundbreaking that S.H.I.E.L.D would be the last to know...

And then New York had happened and Thor had been there but had not gone looking for her and it had been another major setback from which she had only been about to recover after meeting Richard... Oh crap... She still hadn't called him back to tell him that this thing between them wouldn't work... Even if Thor should really not return, Jane was to messed up to date anyone, much less a nice, innocent guy like Richard...

No she would probably just pick up her work again. And knowing S.H.I.E.L.D, it was only a matter of time till they would show up here and demand to know what happened... It was a wonder that they hadn't been to interrogate them already...

Just then a booming sound split the otherwise quiet atmosphere and a bright flash of light broke through the windows and door that led to the balcony.

Jane instantly turned around, and seeing Thor, still in his – now cleaned and polished – battle regalia, returned on her balcony, grinning broadly at her, she couldn't help but smile back at him too, suddenly giddy with joy and relief.

He hadn't abandoned her! He had come back!

She ran out on the balcony and flew into his arms: "You're back!"

"Of course I am! And I'm here to stay, my dear Jane – if you'll have me", he told her solemnly, after he had sat her down again, stroking her cheek lovingly.

Jane couldn't believe what she'd heard: "You'll stay? – Of course you can stay! But what about Odin? Asgard? Weren't you supposed to become king soon?"

"I told Odin I didn't want the throne. I'd make a bad king anyway... I don't know half as much about politics as I should and making war the solution to every problem would probably not be helpful either" Thor explained to her, "At least for the time being I am unfit to rule, still. Maybe some years down the line I'll reconsider. Maybe you would even like to join me then?"

Jane was totally thunderstruck (almost literally) – did Thor really just propose to her that she could come live with him in Asgard and even become queen one day? This was even more preposterous then what she and Loki had done... Becoming a mortal queen of Asgard... Odin would rebel even from within Valhalla... After all, wasn't she but a _goat_ to him and who knew how many other Asgardians?

Also Midgardian-bashing aside, Jane couldn't really see herself as queen – to be honest she couldn't even see herself living in Asgard for all her life. Of course it had much to offer in case of research and things to discover that she never could on earth. But she also liked the restrictiveness of earth, the hurdels you had to overcome that made you creative and inventive and offered a thrill! She liked scientific adventures and being active herself more than just reading about phenomena in books – though that also had its charms.

And beside that she wanted to travel, especially now that she actually was close to achieving intergallactical travel, because she would like to use her own invention to see and explore other planets!

But would she even be able to do that as queen? Wouldn't she have other sorts of responsibilities? Especially seeing the rather archaic Asgardian mindset she feared that her role would only come down to lets call it _domestic_ issues... And that would break her...

Jane tried to not let any of that show when she replied with a shy smile: "Well, then lets see what happens. Earth will be glad to have you here and maybe it will even teach you some lessons about ruling. You might also want to give Tony and Captain America a call, see what they're up to these days. For the rest, we'll just wait and see."

Thor smiled and kissed her again, she could feel the happiness radiating from him: "Let us do that, _my love_."

Amazing how a single word or phrase could make you feel instantly uncomfortable. _My love_ might seem or should have seemed like a nice endearment and a sign of Thor's feelings for her, the reassurance that he really wanted her and even planned a future with her...

But it also implied eventually getting married to Thor which would mean taking on a role within the court of Asgard she wasn't entirely comfortable with. It meant that at some point she would have to give something that she loved up to stay together with Thor. Something vital for her happiness... Would she be able to do that? Did she even want to get married? To Thor?

Where was this doubt coming from? She loved Thor! She wanted to be with him – they were meant to be together – weren't they? They had just found each other again after everything that happened... They had defeated Malekith, at the cost of Loki's life, saved the universe and now they deserved this peaceful togetherness, didn't they?

Anything else was just not fair. She would make this work...

.

* * *

.

After Loki had checked for any remaining injuries and dusted of his armour, he had used the Tesseract to transport himself to the place Thor, Jane and him had landed. The ship was still there – seeing how battered and broken it was they couldn't have used it to get out of here anyway...

Maybe Heimdall had been able to sneak them back into Asgrad or to Midgard more likely as Malekith planned to start his attack from there. Or maybe they'd found another passageway like the one they'd used to get here.

They were gone either way, because his magic couldn't detect any signs of life and his connection to Jane was silent as could be, and that was good. He hadn't wanted them to immediately know he was alive anyway... Maybe he wouldn't even let them know at all... He could just disappear and live his life in peace somewhere...

If only Thanos wasn't out there... looking for the infinity stones, posing a threat so great that it had even appeared in Frigga's weaving... and also still being out for Loki's blood... he would have... but this way he couldn't really go anywhere with the Tesseract... Asgard was still the safest place to keep it while he would look for the other stones.

He would go back and he would confront Odin. He would tell him his story and about the infinity stones and if Odin wasn't willing to listen to him and his story and pardon him, he'd ultimately have break with Odin.

Sometimes Frigga could also be wrong... And Loki just knew that Odin would never be like Frigga, would never be able to forgive and welcome him back with open arms... But he would try to reason with him – for Frigga's sake... And for his own closure...

But Loki wasn't sure what exactly he'd do if it really came down to Odin being impervious to any explanation and justification... He wouldn't leave Asgard with the Tesseract that was for sure...

What he did know, though, was that he would really not consider Odin to be his supposed father anymore then...

Also, he still had to think up a way of how exactly he wanted to appear in front of Odin without him immediately calling down all guards on him or striking him down himself...

Conveniently enough the perfect oppurtinity arose just then to get back to Asgard plus talk directly to Odin without much fuss: A patrol ship had finally made it to Svartalfheim – probably to check for Thor and the Aether.

With a flick of his hand Loki morphed himself into the guard on that ship. Then he made his Seidr render the guard unconscious and lastly he portaled himself to Asgard, using the Tesseract as his powers were quite depleeted. After this near death and healing himself from it, even the simplest illusions wore on him and using Seidr felt like walking through mud or pitch...

Though he tried to heed Frigga's advice to partner up with the Tesseract, he still didn't feel comfortable using it like that. He feared going under again... After all, the Tesseract could still easily break any truce they might have brokered for now... Loki was lucky that it stayed quiet and cooporative for now...

Loki arrived in a little alcove near the throne room. He made sure the Tesseract was well hidden in his pocket universe and that he actually looked like the guard he was trying to impersonate and the illusion was not shimmering. Then he began walking towards the throne room with purpose. The few guards that were stationed nearby or hurrying from the throne room didn't pay him any notice or just nodded in gretting.

And then he was standing in front of Odin, who was facing his broken throne all but lost to his surroundings, immobile as a statue. Loki's heart was beating fast and he damned himself for this reaction. Seeing Odin just brought back all the bitterness, the feeling of betrayal, all the hate and the pain for sentencing him to lifelong imprisonment, being cruel enough to forbid Frigga to see him or let him be there at her funeral... discarding him in that manner... and also because he had to realise that Odin had really never loved him in the first place...

The Tesseract flared in his mind but he shut it out. This was between him and Odin only...

Loki made his voice low, full of humility and sounding unsure and apologetic for interupting the Allfather in his thoughts: "Forgive me my liege, I return from the Dark World with news."

Odin did not so much as turn around, he just gave him a quick glance to the side and quietly asked: "Thor?"

Of course his first thought would be of Thor... His golden boy... At least, he hadn't asked for the Aether first and by which he would have proven to be completely heartless...

"There was no sign of Thor or..." Loki replied and caught himself wanting to say Jane, but guards wouldn't know nor care for her name. As far as they were concerned she was just an insignificant Midgardian and all they were after was the Aether, thus, they and Odin would be interested in its whereabouts not Jane's – „or the _weapon."_ – he chose to say.

Odin did not look upset but also not relieved – he just looked resigned and like he wasn't even really listening or had expected this news already. However, he didn't inquire about Loki at all... Did he not know that he had been released from his cell and gone with Thor?

He thought they had been quite obvious about his prison-break, judging by the countless guards that had chased them and witnessed their escape to report it back to Odin... Also The Warrior's Three had probably been caught and brought to the dungeouns already, whereupon his empty cell would surely have been discovered at the latest...

Loki wanted to know: If Odin had been informed, did he just not care that Loki had escaped with Thor? And what would news of his death then mean to Odin? Would he realise that it happened because he had helped Thor, that he had proven to be selfless and brave and not been the villain after all? Or would he also not care?

So Loki added: "But..."

Odin turned to face him: "What?"

"We found a body", Loki said, moving closer, eyes trained on Odin to see his every reaction and emotion.

That information seemed to startle him, judging by the quick shock in his darting eyes.

"Loki...," he breathed – but other than that he betrayed no further emotion.

At the guards silent confirmation he just nodded and seemed to retreat back into himself once again without even dismissing him.

Loki finally took a good look at him then. Odin looked drawn and exhausted and so incredibly old in that instant. Not at all strong and determined and fear-inspiring like he had been throughout Thor's and his childhood and when he'd seen him last – when he had imprisoned Loki with all the ferocity and viciousness of Jörmungandr. All that energy had left him and he seemed only a broken shell of his former self. Pathetic...

The Alfather all but broken... He would not be able to maintain his rule that much was obvious... And therefore the infinity stones would not be safe here on Asgard either, should word get known that Odin was weak and unfit to rule... Which it would soon enough judging by his state of being right now...

And even, suppose, Odin was still rational enough to abdicate and let Thor rule, Thor's reign would certainly have a rocky start – a change after a long state of sameness and familarity – and we were talking about more than 5000 years of Odin's rule here – was always going to be unsettling. People needed to get used to the new ruler, gain hope and trust in him first. But before that happened, there would be much scepsis and hardship to maintain this trust of the Asgardians and all the other worlds looking up to or fearing Asgard. Rebellions could very likely break out and there could well be traitorous oppositions rising in the court of Asgard, too...

Loki couldn't afford that to happen. He needed things to stay stable, at least in Asgard, to have a safe place for the Tesseract and any other Infinity Stones he sought to collect... There was only one way to go about this... He had come here to confront Odin, to plead his case and get him to pardon Loki so that he would be free to live here again or elsewhere. But he would also take Odin's throne in the process. It was the only way...

„No, tears over your son's death?" Loki scoffed, abandoning his role, „But, of course, why would you, he wasn't even really your son, wasn't he? He was only ever a piece in your schemes, nothing to be truly loved... He was a monster. A filthy Jotun. A selfish, lying, overly ambitious psychopath!

„Actually, you should rather be relieved and joyous about his death! One problem removed from this world! One sore thorn less in your side! Right? So where's the victorious smile? The delighted laughter?"

Odin had turned around again to look at him incredulosuly, at this „simple guards" outburst or maybe even his perceptievenss. But Loki could also see the wheels turning, the dawning understanding that only truly broke through when Loki shed his disguise fully.

„Loki..." Odin looked at him shocked and even... _scared_. Odin actually was afraid of him. And as well he should be! Loki could overpower him in an instant, make him pay for his unjust sentencing, for the withheld information and using and misleading Loki... But he thought of Frigga, of his mother's imploring eyes, begging him to give Odin a chance to understand and see the truth and forgive Loki and apologize in turn for his unfair treatment...

„Yes, _father_ " Loki almost spat the word, „You know I thought maybe deep down there I would still have meant something to you. That maybe a part of you has loved me once and didn't just see me as a pawn and lovely experiment... But my death it seems doesn't hit you too hard, in fact you might have felt glad you don't have to deal with me anymore...

Tell me, now that mother is dead, would you have just let me rot down there in my cell? Or would you finally have had me killed?

Don't look so shocked! Not letting me attend the funeral and only telling me about her death afterwards was already a pretty clear sign of your opinion of me...

And you didn't even once hear me out! You didn't even bother to ask and dig further! You didn't care! You just wanted me off the table, and if Frigga had not been there you would have had it your way already back then... Is it not so?"

Odin had sunken back against the throne, supporting himself by one of the remaining armrests and having his other arm stretched out towards him as if to ward him off that way: „Thor should have never let you out of your cell! Was this your plan all along? Here to finally get _your throne_? Your _birthright_?"

Taunting him with the things he'd accused him of so callously one year ago... It didn't help with Loki's mood, but only made him angrier: „See? You aren't even willing to see me as anything other than the trickster and the villain! No, I didn't want to take the throne! I only wanted you to hear the truth! To hear me out!"

„What is there to know that will change anything? Nothing will justify or make good what you did Loki!" Odin scoffed and spat at him, some of his fomer spirit returned, but still looking pathetically weak.

„What will ever justify your own filthy actions and foul murders! History isn't as easily covered up as you'd like it to be... I know some bits and pieces of _before_ – as in pre-golden-Age times. Your bloody conquests, your subjugation of the nine realms? Hela?"

If it was possible to look any more shocked and paler than the whitest bed linen than Odin surely managed that now. His mouth opened and closed but he was at a loss for words.

„Beneath all this glorious facade you're just like what you make me out to be – a monster. And I'm here to hold _you_ accontable for your actions now!" Loki told him, „You know, at first, I really just wanted to talk to you, to maybe get you to realize that I am not the bad guy here and to get you to pardon me. Mother wanted me to. She trusted you to be wise and hear me out and give me a chance... But I knew you'd never do that... No you never would have pardoned me. You just never trusted and believed in me enough to be able to give me the benefit of the doubt... I'm not Thor... I guess...

Well, and now seeing you so weak and unable to defend yourself, much less this kingdom... I just can't let Asgard and the nine realms fall into chaos and ruin... The times to come are dark and a stong leader is needed to face them, but you are unfit, your time is up, and Thor's heart is not in the right place to rule yet... Consider this a mercy..."

„I always told Frigga to not get attached to you... It was her delusion, her error... I should never have let her get away with visiting you despite my degree... Who knows with what words you poisened her mind! This – you taking the throne – is no mercy... This is ruin and chaos! " Odin huffed and tried to lift Gungnir to strike him down but Loki was faster. He let Gungir vanish before Odin could grab it and teleportd it to his hands.

„I'm sorry that it had to come to this, but if you're not willing to listen and believe in me just for once in your life then I see no other choice...", Loki sighed, looking at Odin pleadingly, a part of him was still hoping for him to relax and say „Ok let's talk" – oddly enough he imagined Jane saying it, with her warm but firm voice, curious enough to try and understand what she couldn't grasp – but it was a foolish hope to hold onto... Odin would never care to understand, especially when his eyes remained seething with hatred and disgust...

Loki gripped Gungnir tighter and summoned the Tesseract to his hands: „I am sorry... I really am. But I have a mission. And you are going to have to _retire_ now. There's a lovely place on Midgard where you can stay, enjoy your life and rest from all those tiring years of ruling. You will not remember Asgard and your rule – as far as you're concerned you're just a normal retired Midgardian with no family... But should I need ruling advice you will still remember the one or other suggestion."

While Loki spoke he centred all his inherent magical gift, Gungnir and the Tesseracts power to weave an illusion with his words and cast it on Odin. He had feared that maybe he would still be to weak to perform such a feat but Gungir and the Tesseract where brimming with power and making it easy. And Odin's weakened state was to thank as well. Otherwiese he probably would have put up a lot more of a fight to get out of the illusion. But like this he even seemed to just accept it.

Once the illusion was complete he send Odin to Midgard. To New York of all places. But he thought that the more unlikely the choice the less easily it would be noticed.

Then came the difficult part. He made himself look like Odin and would have to remain that way now for an extended amount of time... While also upholding his other illusions that made sure Heimdal could not pervceive him or the real Odin's whereabaouts. For now with Heimdal contained and barred freom using the Bifrost, it was easier to do that but once he was back at his job as gatekeeper, Loki would have to be careful. But he couldn't and also didn't want to get rid of Heimdal. He was an useful asset and necessary to keep an eye out for Thanos or other threats.

That would be his first order: Re-instate Heimdall as Gatekeeper and then he would address the defeat of Malekith and start repairs of all the buildings destroyed and crafting a stronger security veil. But for now he would just rest for a minute...

He had barely set down when the Tesseract spiked and his Seidr noticed Thor's familiar _aura_ approaching. Loki who had slumped into the throne, quickly stood up again and used Gungnir to support him. He tried to stand straight and as regally as Odin always had but his abdomen still hadn't fully healed yet and it was paining him so his posture lost some of it's power...

He really hoped that Thor wouldn't be long, and more importantly that he wouldn't suspect a thing. Loki really needed to finally get the rest he needed to fully recover...

Thor had fully approached the throne now, bowed and got down on one knee: "Father, I come to you seeking forgiveness for my actions. I know what I did was wrong and I committed treason in doing what I did – as did my Warrior's three and Sif. But I believe you as Allfather and wise king will see reason and pardon us for we have ultimately defeated Malekith and returned the Aether!"

Loki had a hard time not rolling his eyes at Thor's little speech, but of course it was only fitting to appear with such humility in front of Odin – the king – after defying him thus – no matter if it had been the wiser and better choice to begin with...

Loki lifted his arm and waved down his hand to make Thor stop any further attempts at pleading his case and also as a sign of truce and forgiveness between them.

"You need not beg for my forgiveness any further! The Warrior's Three will also face no charges and Heimdall is still Gate-Keeper! I perceived what you did and I had time to think, my son. While anger and grief addled my mind, your thoughts were sharp and clear. You once said there would never be a wiser king than me. But you were wrong... You're defeat of Malekith shows that.

Loki knew that what he was going to say next was a risky play of chance again, but the Tesseract gave him a reassuring push that this was the right direction to go:

"Furthermore, the Convergence has brought all the realms together so that every one of them saw you offer your life to save them and prove yourself worthy! So, I now ask you: What can Asgard offer it's _new king_?"

Thor averted his eyes to the ground and sighed. When he looked back up at Loki he looked sad and troubled but also determined.

"My Life," he said "Father, I cannot be king of Asgard... Yes, I will protect Asgard and all the realms, with my last and every breath, but I cannot do so from that chair."

And he wasn't finished with that but went on: "Loki for all his grave imbalance understood rule as I know I never will. The brutality... the sacrifice... It changes you. I'd rather be a good man than a great king."

This little speech caught Loki of guard for a second but he managed to hide it well enough for Thor not to notice. So much perception and self-reflection! He wouldn't have thought Thor capable of it... He really had changed a lot in that past year... But Loki suspected it wasn't just his work within the nine realms or joining the Avengers in New York... He couldn't help but think that maybe a certain, little, brunette Midgardian had something to do with his sudden change of heart...

He really couldn't recognize the Thor that was so sure he would be king, bragging about it all day long, even going up against the Jotuns unprepared in a petty tantrum to show Odin he was worthy of it... No this Thor was greatly changed...

"Is this really my son speaking or the women he _loves_?" Loki couldn't completely hide the sneer on the last word. He still wasn't convinced that his brother really loved Jane... That he would really give up the throne – his birthright – for a mortal Midgardian... After he had all but forgotten about her for two years... He di know her what? Three days total? The again what had he to show... And why did it even matter for however long he knew her? It was inconsequential... She didn't mean anything now...

"When you speak, do I never hear mother's voice?" Thor suddenly replied and brought Loki back to attention before he could drift off thinking about that Midgardian that haunted his mind any further...

Instead now his thoughts were of Frigga. Of her soothing words in times of trouble, her reprimands if Thor and him had been naughty and her words in that in between place... He really fought to stay in control and to not break down right here and now...

"This is not for Jane, Father! She does not know what I came her to say..."

Did she now? Well, she would be in for a pleseant surprise if he got back to really stay this time. But just not really _really_ as he'd still be off defending the nine realms which would allow him to go home every other week if he was lucky? He doubted that Jane would be happy with that either... Well, but she would be ten times happier than if Thor had accepted the throne... He just knew that Jane wasn' the _domestic_ type...

Thor, of course unaware of Lokis thoughts went on: "Now forbid me to see her or say she can rule at my side, It changes nothing." – And all of a sudden his abdomen flared up again and Loki just barely managed to slip down onto the throne in what at least seemed like a merely shock-insinuating manner.

His breathing a bit shallow he tried for a reminiscing,regretful tone: "One son who wanted the throne too much, anther who will not take it. Is this my legacy?"

"Loki died with honour. I shall try to live the same. Is that not legacy enough?", Thor defended him, again shocking him with his sentimentality. It was difficult for Loki to understand how this could be hois brother. How he could suddenly care so much after there had been a year of radio silence from him before all this.

And then he actually offered up his hammer!

But even if he could have, Loki would not have taken it. He had learned a long time ago that it was Thor's and he was the only one truly worthy of it... So when he said Thor should keep it it was only half for show.

Loki shook his head supporting supposed-Odin's exasperated, hurt and shocked reaction: "I can neither give you my blessing, nor can I wish you good fortune."

But those words rang true on another level entirely as well... He would not give Thor his blessing because a part of him didn't want him to be with Jane... To have this happily ever after... It was the part he had tried to quench out but failed at again and again... The part that had enjoyed talking to Jane, that had found her intriguing and that he had laid down his life for... that had kissed her and enjoyed it... And it was also that part that would always be jealous of Thor for getting everything he wanted so easily, even that which Loki coveted...

Part of him wanted exactly that happily ever after, too... He had thought that with the Aether expelled from Jane and the Tesseract detained those feelings would just vanish... But doors once opened didn't let themselves be closed easily again he realized...

This was all just one huge incredible mess he'd gotten himself into...

Thor jarred him out of his treacherous thoughts again then by acknowledging his words with a simple bow and turning to go. Loki, gaining back his senses and rationality, quickly tried to search for at least one way to tell Thor that despite all their differences and what happened between them, and Jane aside, he still was glad to be his brother. He wanted him to know that he'd also sacrificed himself mainly for Thor and if it wasn't for the Infinity Stones and the threat of Thanos he would gladly let him have the throne... But he couldn't really say that, as it was not him speaking and Thor would not understand. So the best thing he could come up with that instant was:

"If I were proud of the man my son had become" he started and Thor tunred around again, givign him a small, regretful smile, "even that I could not say... It would speak only from my heart. Now, go, _my son_!" – my brother...

"Thank you father!" Thor nodded towards him and then he finally started to leave down the throne hall towards the balcony and from there on towards the Bifrost.

Loki watching him leave only now let himself relax and after checking that the throne room was clear and no one would notice he let the illusion slip and took a dep breath: "No, thank you, Thor..." – For making this fairly easy for me, and for not calling this bluff... And for leaving in time because I would not have been able to uphold this illusion a second longer...

Loki closed his eyes for a second and sighed. He would have to transform one more time only to get to his chambers and then he could shed this disguise for good and finally get some rest...

And that was what he did. Telling the guards to not disturb him till the morning and advicing them to take the night off and get some rest themselves. He didn't even register the glances of shock and confusion to think about whether Odin would even order something like that or allow guards some reprieve? But he was just too tired and they could all put it down to Odin's grief and exhaution over loosing Frigga and now Thor as well... No harm done – yet...

He somehow dreaded the day when it would... But that day would have to wait till tomorrow. For now he would sleep...

* * *

Sorry for any mistakes my autocorrection isn't working anymore and it doesn't show me what words are written the wrong way because it marks everything as red and incorrect now... Stupid office... Also I wanted to quickly post that chapter and get one with it so I didn't want to waste time on proof-reading ^^ Alright, see you around in a bit!


	22. Chapter 22

_Disclaimer: Don't own Marvel or the Characters!_

 _First of all: Thank you for all the lovely reviews! I feel so blessed and am giddy as can be because I now know that I don't write this story in vain and you're here with me on that journey and enjoying it just as much as I am! Thank you! And I'm also greatful about any other constructive criticism and thoughts you might have! They keep the story going 3_

 _Enjoy this new chapter!_

 _._

* * *

 _She saw the red light... or something emanating from within the gap. She rose up on her tiptoes and examined it closer. She slipped, stumbled against the stone, saw the red thing coming for her and then everything went black._

…

 _A roar pierced the air and Jane slowly stepped out of the room, dreading what she would find._

 _In front of the huge bed, and the dais that led up to the balcony knelt Odin._

 _And in his arms he held Frigga. Her eyes were closed, her lovely face ashen. Only unconscious... not dead... not dead..._

 _But then she saw the blood on her tunic below her chest. So much blood. And her chest wasn't rising._

 _Frigga – lovely, amiable, Frigga, who had immediately welcomed her with open arms and warm smiles – was dead. The bright light that was her soul extinguished forever. It seemed unreal._

 _A goddess –_ Loki's _mother … gone. Just like that._

 _And Jane didn't do anything to help... She had brought the Aether to Asgard... She brought the Dark Elves to Asgard... She killed Frigga..._

…

 _But if she hadn't found the Aether would Thor even have ever come back to her?_

…

 _If she hadn't found it would she have ever got to meet Loki?_

…

" _There is something on Asgard that I've been kept away from for a very long time... Longer even than my imprisonment... And I need to get back there and find it! You will get me there!_

 _And I promise you: You will also find something there that will satiate your thirst for knowledge and help you discover all the universe has to offer!"_

 _The one whose memories she'd somehow shared. Thor's brother. Loki. The God of Mischief. And a Frost Giant, used by Odin as pawn, anger, betrayal and the need to be understood and loved driving him to make some really bad decisions, falling to disgrace, falling into the void, being tortured, being used again, being punished harsher than he should have..._

 _Because you're more alike than you know... And you were fated..._ _two sides of the same coin... similar_...

 _I might be the reality stone and shaper of matter but even I can't rewrite fate and destiny like that... What you saw and what you felt both in the vision, of Loki's past and your current feelings is all true and of your own mind._

 _Your bond with Loki won't cease to exist just because I'm gone..._

…

 _Loki was dying in Thor's arms. Because he had actually sacrificed himself for Thor, for her... And her last words to him had been ones of anger... of hate... of distrust, not believing in him and filled with the acrid feeling of betrayal... Exactly like everyone else had always viewed him... And he had to die with the knowledge that he would always be viewed like that..._

 _Her heart felt like a thousand tiny knifes simultaneously stabbed through it. She hadn't known him like Thor or Frigga had, she had only recently discovered the true Loki. And those weird feelings that arose from him being around her were also too fresh to make any sense of them just yet, but still it hurt so much. Seeing him die, knowing that he would not survive this. That she would not get to talk to him again, to apologize, to dig a little deeper into his past and motives and confront him on their kiss... To settle things between them and whatever the infinity stones had started..._

 _It should have been her dying instead of him. Because hands down, this was all her fault. She should be the one lying there. Loki was the second person dying because of the Aether and her involvement with it... And no, it was definitely not what he deserved..._

…

" _Believe it or not, uniting me with the Tesseract will be for the best!" the Aether insisted, "The Tesseract and I, and our 4 siblings used to be one entity until the universe or fate or whoever decided it to be a good idea – cleaved us apart and discarded us all over the universe...leaving us to the whims of all the foul creatures roaming it, all the while we were trying our best to find each other, especially our chosen half, again..._

" _In 5,000 years I've had enough time to think and notice the one or other shift in the universe around me... there are greater things to come..."_

 _The net is closing in... Ancient, long-forgotten powers have started to stir... Frigga's weaving has fore-told it as well... Two infinity stones on Asgard – It is time – Fate's wicked game has only just begun..._

 _You foolish, foolish mortal! And_ your _insolent, puny princes! They can't destroy me! I'm older then the universe, I am part of what created it! You foolish creatures! See where it leads you... See what you will let your precious universe faze!_

…

Jane woke with a start, completely drenched. She felt as if her whole body was on fire again. She only made it to the toilett just in time before she threw up all of the meager contents of her stomach.

Thor slept on next door. Oblivious.

The first times this had happened he had still woken up and asked whether she was alright. He had even offered to assist her and stay with her – though the look on his face had told her a different story. She had thanked him but reassured him that she was fine and could handle it on her own and that was that. From then on he had stayed in bed when these nightly terrors woke her and she was sick on the toilet.

It had been many. It happened every night since they'd defeated Malekith and Thor had returned to her. It had been three months.

Jane had thought they could finally have their happily ever after. Thought that they were good now and everything was fine. But every night she relived the events of becoming the Aether's host.

She remembered what it had told and revealed to her. She remembered Frigga and her death. Odin's condescending manner and his look of hatred when he had held Frigga's dead body and saw her well and alive.

But most of all she remembered Loki. Their subconscious conversations. How he'd protected and saved her. How he had died for them...

What the Ather had revealed about their connection...

And she also recalled the countless threats and prothetic statements the Ather had given her and that made her feel as if this whole ordeal was still not over and that there was more to come...

She also felt as if the Aether was still there within her... At least, being its host had led to small changes within her...

She wasn't sure exactly what these changes fully entailed but she was sure that she wasn't the Jane anymore that she used to be before she had stumbled upon the Aether...

She ate less – because food wouldn't stay down and didn't taste the same anymore either.

She slept less – not just because of her nightmares but she didn't feel tired when she normaly would and should have been and could go on working for longer hours than previously.

Sometimes she felt angrier than she normaly would be about things that didn't go her way or arguments she had with Eric, Darcy or Thor and even the smallest noises and things that were too bright irritated her more easily than before.

And she felt too hot too often. Like her skin was on fire. As if lava was running underneath her skin and something was trying to break free...

Jane was constantly on edge...

Feeling that the nausea had finally abated, Jane got up from the ground, flushed the toilet and washed her face with cold water. Lots of cold water. She had to be half-delirious because she swore she could see steam rising from her hands...

Hands shaking, heart beating fast and mind panicking she quickly grabbed her bathrobe and then made a run for the balcony.

The bathroom was becoming to small. The bedroom, too. The walls were closing in on her. The air to thick and suffocating... She needed fresh, cold night air and the open sky above her.

It wasn't like back in Mexico. She couldn't see the Milky Way, the billions of stars and the one or other shooting star. Here in London the light pollution was to dense and the sky more often than not covered by grey clouds, obscuring any stars she might have been able to see otherwise. But at least it was cold. If also the air wasn't fresh either... It was better than indoors any time.

Jane leaned on the railing of the balcony, face turned upwards and eyes closed and let the soft drizzle of rain that had begun to fall, land on her face and sighed in contentment.

She didn't notice the shadow joining her to her left, with its green eyes intently trained on her.

.

* * *

.

 _He didn't know where he was, where the Bifrost portal had taken him, but it was cold. Being a Jotun, shouldn't he actually be unbothered by coldness?_

 _Then why was he feeling so cold... so dizzy... so broken..._

" _My lord, look what we found – A Jotun dressed in Asgardian attire! Most peculiar..." an at that time unknown voice hissed. Now, of course, he recognized it as the Other..._

 _A deeper, bored-sounding voice replied – Thanos: "Where did you find him? Who is he? And why didn't you just kill him?"_

" _He just appeared out of nowhere – a portal of unknown origin" the Other's slithering voice explained, "We don't know who he is. He hasn't shown to be responsive and by the looks of it is almost dead anyway. We would have immediately discarded him had we not thought that you might want to have a look at him first..."_

 _Thanos sighed: "I might as well, now that you've dragged him all that way over here... Ebony Maw! The Sceptre!"_

 _Loki didn't know what was going on. He could barely form one coherent thought. He couldn't feel his Seidr either. Come to think of it he didn't even really feel his body... Loki had let go of Gungir's staff, and fallen into space without thinking of saving himself. Getting sucked into that imploding worm hole of the Bifrost should have killed him... And yet he was alive?_

 _Next thing he knew something very cold and very_ wrong _touched his chest and his mind felt as if it was split open, carved out and the mashed pieces randomly thrown back in it again._

 _No. This had to be Hel. Definitely._

 _He relived everything – his whole life – but especially the memories that hurt, that were filled with anger, jealousy, betrayal and sadness. The aweful things he'd done and the unjust things that he had felt had been done to him... But the memory of him discovering his true heritage and confronting Odin and the fight with Thor, and letting himself fall into the abyss were seemingly repeated on rewind._

" _Discarded and Broken._ But _of Value. He has ties to Asgard... And he has a vast knowledge of this universe and earth as well... His abilities are formidable, too. I could actually use that one to my advantage..." the deep, rumbling voice mused while the pain in his mind slowly abated._

" _Other, Ebony Maw – I've got a project for you. Take him and make him_ usable _! He shall help us discover the Tesseract!" it went on, foreboding of nothing good, "Here – use the Mindstone to find out his desires or twist his memories – or do whatever you see fit to get him on course with us. You can play around with him a bit, too, but keep him alive."_

" _Yes my lord!", two voices answered in reverence – one of them sickly sweet the other the slithering hiss of before._

…

 _He was suspended in the air, fully awake, while crystaline thin spears and needles pierced his skin. They pierced through his arms, his legs, his abdomen, his cheeks and neck and barely passed by his heart. He wanted to scream._

 _He actually screamed._

 _But it was muffled by the metallic muzzle that that_ thing _had placed on him._

…

 _Agony. Pain. Agony._

 _Why couldn't he just die?_

 _He wanted to die..._

…

 _Thor looming over him. Mjolnir pressed to his chest: "You are pathetic_ brother _! You really thought you could be king? You? A filthy Jotun? You could never have been king! Least of all king of Asgard!"_

 _Odin appeared by his side: "You were always just a bargaining ship. A political asset to a lasting peace with Jotunheim under Asgardian rule. An experiment to see how well Jotuns could adapt Asgardian custom. Never more than that. Never a potential king. And now you're not even worth that... No, Loki. No more."_

 _And with that Thor lifted Mjolnir, took him by the collar and pulled him close: "You're no brother of mine. Goodbye filthy Jotun scum."_

 _And with that Thor tossed him into the abyss._

…

" _You were betrayed. Discarded. You're unloved. Unwanted. All your aspirations all your dreams for nought!"_

" _With Thanos you will have purpose again! With Thanos you will become great again! Greater even than those Asgardians that despise you so! You will get your revenge and you will get your throne! A throne that is rightfully your's! You, who were and should be king!" Ebony Maw recited in his lulling voice,"There's only one little thing that Thanos requires of you: Get him the Tesseract!"_

 _The other chimed in: "Our great lord and father, Thanos, even grants you the honour of wielding the sacred Sceptre! It will aid you in subjugating earth and obtaining the Tesseract without too many complications! And once you're in possession of it, the Chitauri will aid you in your conquest of earth. You will finally become the king you were always meant to be!"_

" _Your mother will be so very proud! And Thor and Odin will fear you just as much as – if not more than– they've made the Jotuns fear them! You will show them that you're not just a pawn, that you will never again bow to their whims!" Ebony Maw told him, smiling viciously, "So, what do you say?"_

 _Loki nodded solemnly and took the Sceptre from the Other. The surge of power that went through him at the touch, revived him instantly and reassured him of this new, glorious purpose that he was now entrusted – no burdend – with, and of the future he had always dreamt of lying ahead of him._

" _I agree. I will retrieve the Tesseract for Thanos, our lord and father. And I will not disappoint him!"_

…

 _If you fail... If the Tesseract is kept from us... There will be no realm no barren moon... no CREVACE … where HE can't FIND YOU!_

 _You think you know pain? You will begin to hope for something as sweet as pain!_

…

Loki was instantly awake, his heart hammering frantically within his chest, the taste of bile in his mouth and the Other's phantom touch and the memories of the crystaline needles piercing his skin still palpable...

These memories still haunted him. But even more so since Frigga had revealed that Thanos was posing a bigger threat to the whole universe than he had originally thought – and that he was after all the Infinity Stones for Norns knew what reason...

One of them was currently on Asgard – the Aether having been brought to the Collector because Loki had thought it too dangerous to keep the two stones too close until he had found the other four...

Well, and the Space Stone wasn't just any of the six stones, but specifically the one which he had promised Thanos to retrieve for him... and in failing to do so he had made himself a dead man walking...

But not just that, he had also lost Thanos his Sceptre aka the mindstone...

Two griveous mistakes that Thanos – should he ever find him – would punish accordingly...

And Loki was certain they would meet again... it could be tomorrow or years later, but if his mother's words were true and fate had decided that Loki had a major role to play in defeating Thanos, he would have to faze him eventually...

But for now the threat was not imminent. _Loki_ was dead as far as the Asgardians and any other people they were in contact with were concerned, and word would soon spread throughout the gallaxy to those who required after him.

Furthermore, he had Heimdall keep an eye out for any threats but those to the description of the Dark Order in general. And Asgards reign under Odin was also strong again as could be after recovering from the devastating attack of the Dark Elves.

Even more so because seemingly overnight Odin Allfather had had such a change of heart that he had decided to establish the independence of the nine realms and instead create a mutual trading community and political alliance that didn't have Odin at the helm of it, having the last say over every political and economical decision, any longer.

The Asgardian people had been sceptical about this proposal at first, but seeing the already beginning changes to peace, mutual trust and acceptance as well as prosperity beginning to blossom had even convinced the last, stubborn conservative courtier.

Things were good. He should be at peace as well now. But he wasn't. And it wasn't just because of the nightmares, the pressures that came with being king and the threat of Thanos lurking in the shadows, no, there was actually something _missing_. Something _off_ that he couldn't really name...

It was at the back of his mind. That connection still intact. With all the memories and knowledge that was connected to it...

He had thought that he could let it go, shut it out and forget about it... But it always found its way back to him... _She_ always crept back into his thoughts... often at the most inopportune of moments but especially at night... when he couldn't sleep and one thought tumbled over the other... or in his dreams...

He didn't just dream about his time with the Dark Order... He also recalled their ordeal with the Dark Elves. Their conversations. How he had saved her and she had tried to save him. How she had thought he was about to betray and leave them for real when instead he had planned on sacrificing himself...

He knew of her pain, her sorrow, her self-loathing. Had felt it as well. He just couldn't understand how she could feel that way for someone like him, how she could work herself up like this over his death. He was nothing – no one.

He shouldn't matter to her... She had Thor. She should be happy...

But not just that – She also had reoccurring nightmares as well. He could feel her discomfort every night...

It puzzled and bothered him and after three weeks of this he really couldn't stand it any longer, couldn't shut her out any longer. He had to see her...

So in the dead of night, all caution thrown to the wind, he simply teleported himself to her, following their connection to find her. He landed on a small balcony of a house within a noisy city. Noisy due to _cars_ – he remembered that they were called – the odd sounds they made, but also because of people still being outside, awake, instead of sleeping... Not at all like Asgards deafening silence and tranquility... And he wasn't even going to comment on the condition of the air...

His inner disdain for this place was cut short when his eyes perceived the figure leaning on the railing, her hair mussed from her restless sleep, her face pale and still shining with residue sweat and even with the plush bathrobe on he knew that she had lost weight. She had been rather skinny to begin with but now she really was only skin and bones...

This wasn't right... It couldn't just be the grief and trauma marring her... Not like that...

He got his answer almost immediately. Their proximity furthered their connection but it wasn't as pronounced as it had been when she had still carried the Aether and he the Tesseract. So it had taken a while for the wave of heat and raw power to hit him.

This could only be the work of the Aether... After all, the Infinity Stones were not meant for weak wielders like humans and the Aether's power was especially raw and destructive. So, of course it had led to a lasting damage within her...

She needed to get help... fast...

As if his thoughts had invoked it, Jane just then released a small whimper and shortly after went slack.

Loki only barely caught her and had to slide to the ground the dead-weight of her unconscious body dragging him down.

He wasn't as fit as he used to be himself, and with his strength daily depleted anew from playing Odin, masking himself from Heimdall and keeping up the illusion he put on Odin, while also simultaneously running a kingdom, and with most nights just as exhausting instead of replenishing he just wasn't able to lift her up and hold her the way he wanted to...

This had to suffice for now.

Her cradled in his lap, he tried to cool her burning skin with the last Seidr he could spare, one hand gripping hers and with the other gently stroken her head.

He didn't know how long they had been sitting there like that, when she finally stirred and her eyes fluttered open, slowly fixing on him: "Loki? How...? Am I dead?"

"Shhh," he calmed her, not wanting her to get upset in her already fragile state and, on impulse, he planted a soft kiss on her forehead that had her close her eyes again and sigh, "It is imperative that you don't get upset. You're very weak and there's something wrong... Probably the Aether's lasting effect..."

"I figured as much..." she replied, her voice barely audible, and Loki thought she might have drifted off again when she suddenly asked again, "So if I'm not dead – am I hallucinating? How are you here? Why am I seeing _you_? Scratch that I know why..."

Loki sighed: "What have I told you about not working yourself up? Those questions are unimportant. All you need to do is rest for now...

"But I won't... You know that I was not made for hosting the Aether... The Aether itself tried to kill me two times and both times nearly succeeded. It wrecked me. There's no undoing it..." Jane sighed, slowly reaxing.

Loki who had sworn once to not let that bright light that was Jane go out, wasn't going to accept that: "No. Jane Foster this is not the end!"

She was already half delirious again: "Well, at least it makes me see and talk to you again. I have been meaning to apologize, for not believing in you and trusting you... You sacrificed yourself... You didn't deserve that..."

"Clearly you are not in your right mind," he let out a shaky laugh, while tears formed in his eyes and then fell on her face.

Jane grimaced and then looked back up at him again: "It is odd how real some of all this feels... And yet also not..."

Loki, who had just in that instant come up with a possible way to safe Jane, held her gaze, with reawoken determination: "Do you trust me now?"

Jane took a moment to answer, taking in his worried face, and then replied: "How could I not?"

That decided it. Loki pulled Jane close and then focused all his Seidr to create a new portal back to Asgard. Specifically, to the Apple Orchard.

He didn't want to let go off her, but once they arrived he had to lean her back against one of the trees, to be able to move about.

"I'll be right back, my dear," he told her, stroking one stray strand from her face. Jane managed a meagre nod and closed her eyes again.

Then he went in search for one of Idunn's apples. This time of the year most had been picked already and he feared there would be none left... But luckily there on one of the trees in the back the moonlight caught the golden, shining globe of one last remaining fruit. As if it had waited for just that day... for them...

Loki made quick work of getting it and portaling back to Jane. There was no time to lose.

But when he got back things where worse than ever. Jane's head had lolled onto her chest, all her limbs gone slack, her bathrobe was scorched and in tatters and the grass beneath and the tree bark behind her were singed to the blackness of coals...

No. She was going to incinerate herself! – Loki panicked.

His magic was depleted and there was no cooling her with Seidr anymore... How was he supposed to help her? To stop her from burning herself to a cinder?

Of course.

For once in his life he didn't curse his heritage but welcomed it. He let the Asgardian skin slip, revealing the Jotun one beneath, the marks and ornaments that came with it. Then he got rid of his coat and shirt beneath and scooped Jane into his arms. Without much fuss he got rid of her bathrobe, that was in the way and mostly destroyed, anyway, too.

Skin to skin they sat beneath the tree. Jane was so hot that she made his Jotun skin seem to have normal, human temperature although it ordinarily held a temperature from around -30°C sometimes less...

"Jane... please fight... stay with me... remember we still have a deal to uphold – a question for a question. Remember? And you still owe me two..." Loki beseeched her – the Norns – anyone who would listen.

Then he crushed the apple of Idunn, raised Jane's head and let the golden juice drip onto her lips and as best he could into her mouth. Seconds passed in which nothing happened. New panic started to rise up and threaten to overwhelm him. But then finally Jane's throat contracted and she swallowed down the juice. Loki let out a long sigh of relief and a small, half-crazed sounding laugh, while he buried his face in her hair.

"You're dong well. Drink up. It's going to be better soon..." Loki reassured her, stroking her arm and shoulder soothingly.

When he noticed that the heat was finally receding and Jane's temperature was going back to normal, as well as his own Jotun skin returning to sub-zero, already causing her to shiver, he conjured up a new bathrobe for her, but he didn't let her go yet, and remained sitting with her tugged close.

Jane's voice sounded groggy but she looked otherwise fine, when she turned to look up at him, her skin having some colur to it again: "Loki what just happened? Where...?" – she stopped suddenly and stared at him. Loki didn't immediately register what had her so shocked and rendered her speechless, until she brought up a hand and touched his cheek in wonder – and with a hiss and "Autch"-exclamation withdrew her hand in almost the same instant.

Loki still wore his Jotun skin and had forgotten to change back into his Asgardian form... He had been to busy with making sure Jane was alright and comfortable and with being relieved that he had actually managed to save her from the brink of death.

"Better not touch me... My Jotun skin is a lot colder than the human or Asgardian one..." Loki warned her and was amazed that she hadn't screamed already nor was looking at him in disgust. But he also dared not believe that it was actual wonder and curiosity in her dazed eyes...

"How are you feeling?" he asked to snap her out of her trance.

Jane looked away abashedly, face growing red, and then frowned: "I feel a lot better – like I could do anything. But I also feel very exhausted and could probably sleep for like forever..."

"That's normal. The first effect of the apples. And you did go through a very harrowing experience just now – your body needs rest, to reset itself. Once you've rested we'll find out what power is eating you up and learn to deal with it."

Jane frowned: "Ok... wait... So is this actually happening? I'm not dreaming? I feel like I should be dreaming... How can you possibly be alive?"

"Last time I checked, I was the one who got to ask the questions not you Ms. Foster," Loki evaded her questions with expertise, "Besides haven't you once told me about something that was happening inside ones head not being any less real than reality itself? So either way this would be actually happening."

"Has anyone ever told you that you can be really infuriating?" Jane ground her teeth, her old spirit returning.

Loki smiled mischievously: "The one or other, yes, especially one going by the name of _Thor_."

He shouldn't have said anything because his name dropped like a stone and Jane and him instantly grew sombre. Loki remembered that he had to get her back to earth soon if he didn't want Thor to find out he was alive. And he also had to make sure that Jane would not tell...

"Well, speaking of which... We better get you back to him... Wouldn't want him to worry..." Loki broke the awkward silence.

Loki just wanted to get up and ready to portal her back to earth, when Jane totally shocked him by saying: "Can we maybe stay here for a little while longer? I don't really want to _wake up_ just yet..."

Loki warred with himself for a second, knowing that he could not really risk Thor waking up and finding her gone, or guards wandering the perimeter and finding them and he also had to get at least some hours of sleep before being ready to impersonate Odin again... Still, he couldn't deny Jane... So he relaxed, exhaled and said: "Alright. A little while longer then."

Jane nodded and relaxed against him, her eyes falling shut moments later and her breathing evening out shortly after that as well, while he sat as motionless as possible so as not to disturb her, with only his hand stroking her head softly.

"You know... I could have loved you... Maybe... If things had turned out differently... it would have been you... not Thor... " she mumbled, already halfway- drifted off.

Why did one small Midgardian have the power to rip out his heart and shred it apart with only her words? Loki was doomed now more than ever, knowing that she toyed with those same foolish thoughts...

"Maybe... " Loki whispered back, Jane was already asleep.

Loki stayed seated with her leaned against him for a couple of minutes longer, just watching her sleep, untroubled for once, before he picked her up, rose and returned her to Midgard.

Thor was still asleep, not at all disturbed or wondering what had Jane taken so long. He wanted to smack him around the head hard for his irresponsibility and carelessness. If Loki hadn't finally decided to check up on Jane she would have most likely died tonight... This oaf...

But Loki couldn't do anything about it and had to reign in his anger.

As gingerly as he could, he deposited Jane on the bed and made the blanket cover her – thanks to Seidr without Thor being disturbed. Then he bend down to give Jane a last kiss of goodbye on her forehead. When she woke she would think this but a dream and only wonder how she had gotten back to bed and why she did suddenly feel better. Loki hoped she would just accept and not ponder it.

Coming here and revealing himself to her had been foolish and jeopardized his plan. He couldn't allow that to happen again... Now that he'd made sure Jane survived and was stable.

For now he could go back to Asgard without worries.

Though he had to go back eventually to check in on her and see what powers the Aether had unlocked within her... She couldn't be left alone with whatever was manifesting within her. Especially now that that Idunn's apple had made her body immortal and able to bear such powers...

He would have to tell her about that part eventually, too...

Loki sighed, definitely not looking forward to the prospect and then he quickly portaled back to Asgard and just collapsed into his bed, his Seidr now depleted to the last drags.

.

* * *

.

When Jane awoke the next day the sun was shining and birds were chirping and she felt like waking up inside a fairy tale. Nothing was hurting anymore and for once she felt well-rested and energized.

Her waking up in the middle of the night, being sick and spending some time on the balcony felt more like a fever daze than actual memories. She couldn't even remember how she had gotten back to bed... She must have fallen asleep on the balcony and Thor must have found her and brought her back to bed...

And all the while she had dreamt of Loki... In her fever dream he had consoled her, helped her... She didn't want to think about how much this dream had felt as if she had been half dead and had met him on the other side... That she had nearly died herself... It had just been a dream... She was fine... She felt good!

Finally she felt as if everything really was going to be alright.


End file.
